Episode 56 - Dark Necessities

When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart. But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.” And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own under- standing of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. -Kahlil Gibran __________________________________________________________ Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dear Friend, The Toad came to visit again…this time in an even higher dose than I described in episode one of this Podcast. A week later, it hasn’t left me. I pray that this episode touches you, the audience, in a place that allows you to experience what I am living through now. The field behind everything we think is real cannot be described in words…but if I were to put a name on it…I would call it love. If I could give any of you a gift, it would be the annihilation of ALL of your beliefs. I would give you a righteous death. It would be my absolute pleasure to kill the you that you think is you. Of course, the initiation is seeking true WILL in the ever-living moment. And if you get to the bottom of it, there is a laugh waiting for you that is the BIG BANG that created ALL you can ever experience. The COSMIC JOKE is hilarious beyond any stretch of the imagination. And when we get it…all that’s left is ecstasy and a sense of fulfilled rapture that opens the doors to ACTUAL LIFE. May this episode do something for you. Is. Complete. Perfect. __________________________________________________________ Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In surfing, one of the best mental reminders I carry with me, especially when surfing waves of consequence, is - “Where the eyes go, I go.” Look down, go down. Look right, go right. Look left, go left. And, of course, when nothing is going right, surf lefts. What applies in one thing applies to all things. Law is law. Our inner eyes can focus or go to sleep. Unaware consciousness is a behavior where the individual is animated like a marionette…a program pulls the strings to impregnate potentiality with ITS will…not yours. Awareness of consciousness creates currency…or, for this example - CAPITAL. Your experiences are of your own doing…your creation. All life, all creation is born from fucking. When True Will penetrates the receptive field of potentiality…the child possesses many predictable characteristics. All is Mind, my fair-weathered friends. And MIND is constantly fucking itself. Will we fuck passionately with focus and presence? Will we sometimes make sweet love and get sweaty and wild other times? Or will we lay flaccid and dull, allowing the program to create a reality like the disconnected screens filled with porn? We can learn a lot about who we are by paying attention to how, where, when, who, and why we fuck. The occultist has the competency to see the metaphor in one aspect of life to build a tool for all aspects of life. Fuck passionately, my friends. One Love  __________________________________________________________ Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Integrity Love Will Heresy Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There is a superb surf documentary called “Momentum Generation.” In it, a bunch of surfers that become the greatest surfers on the planet tell their tale of how one of the older guys that hung around with them used to make them drop in on closeout waves when conditions sucked. There is a lot to learn in surfing shitty conditions. There is a lot to learn in navigating the shitty conditions of life. Of course, I do my best to follow multiple surf reports and use everything I have learned about surfing over the past four years to guess what break will produce the highest level of reward each day. But sometimes, despite my best efforts, conditions suck…sometimes after driving over an hour just to “score.” Nine times out of ten, even if the scene looks disappointing…I still paddle out wherever I choose to go. I usually tell myself, “Well, I’m here…I may as well make the best of it. It will still beat sleeping.” And sometimes…quite often actually…after I am out in the “shitty” conditions…things shift…conditions change. A sudden rainstorm might clean up the waves. Or the wind shifts and turns closeouts into peelers. When these things happen, I am often the only one out enjoying the bliss. But by then, I’d already had it all to myself for at least an hour. The dipshits will tell you that knowledge is power. The impotent will tell you that understanding is the key to success. Wisdom comes from lessons resulting from HOW you ACT. Knowledge and understanding can lead you to fertile ground…yet there is no value without the ACT. Integrity Love Will Heresy Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

These past couple of weeks, I’ve been surfing at a spot where the beach is lined with professional photographers. The first time I realized that they were taking pictures of me and that they would send me the images for relatively cheap, I was stoked. And as I posted the images on social media, the compliments and applause from you, the audience, certainly satiated the hunger of the demon that continually attempts to hi-jack my mind with its haunting proclamations that I will never be enough. Before I knew it, I began fixating on getting more photos. Soon, I was surfing as a fractured self - a physical eye looking for waves and a mental eye seeking validation from Never Never Land. The beauty of surfing is in the performance of an art for the sole purpose of riding the wave…the tracks disappear moments after they are laid. As soon as it becomes an activity for the sake of others, the soul of surfing dies. As above, so below. Luckily I awoke before it went too far…haha. I surfed the rest of the week at epic breaks, paying no mind to whether or not there were photographers…and it was GOOD! What I learn in surfing applies to every aspect of my life. Needy bitches are gross. Beauty emanates from Source.  Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One of the most challenging things someone can do is have tough conversations when they know there will be hell to pay. Little boys walk on eggshells, and little girls run and hide when it gets too hot in the kitchen. You there! The reader…you know what I’m talking about. How many times have you done it? - kept quiet about the elephant in the room because to address it would mean experiencing immediate discomfort. Very few of us can summon the courage and have the discipline to follow through with a committed relationship with the truth. I’m talking about a quest to know what is true…what is real…what is ACTUAL…at all costs…to forsake all others…to fuck WHAT IS with all the passion and commitment one can muster. If we aren’t committed to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…all that’s left is living a lie…and that, my fair-weathered friends, is no life at all. Living a lie is death…dead as a rusty rotten doornail. Let the dead bury the dead. Homie ain’t got time for that happy horseshit. When confronted with the ugly reality that every result in our lives is our own damn fault, how much longer will we play Peter Pan and never grow up…determined to reside in Never Never Land. Always a “should”...a wish or a prayer…if only blah blah blah. LIARS…all of us…right down to the bone. Of course, I’m not talking about YOU…haha. Integrity Love Will Heresy Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I am honored to proclaim that the principles of the training ring true in the face of the most ardent adversity. I am working with two clients and only have the bandwidth and desire to take on five at any given time. The level of care that I provide for people that fervently desire to make dramatic changes in their behaviors and ways of framing life. If you want one of the three open spots, contact me. I also have a course available on understanding how the tree of life works and how understanding archetypal embodiment is a super-hack to creating the life of your dreams. Integrity, Love, Will Heresy Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of you have been asking me lately if I am still married. No. I found out in January that my marriage had ended. Of course, I went through a lot of sadness and confusion for about six weeks. And as I emerged from the haze, I quickly discovered that life supports me perfectly when I honor it precisely as it unfolds, without being a whiny, little unaccountable bitch. We always have a choice of CHARACTER when interacting with the moment. Choosing to meet each moment with as much dignity and composure as possible has led to a divorce that minimally affected the children and where my ex and I still manage to get along. And so, we have left the Beach Villa that supported us for the past 25 months. I am so fired up to see where this next chapter of life leads my sons and me. So far, it has been nothing short of marvellous. Also, I have resumed offering 1:1 training on competently navigating psyche. These past eight months have tested everything I know about the areas of life we control vs. those in which we have no control. I am honored to proclaim that the principles of the training ring true in the face of the most ardent adversity. I am working with two clients and only have the bandwidth and desire to take on five at any given time. The level of care that I provide for people that fervently desire to make dramatic changes in their behaviors and ways of framing life. If you want one of the three open spots, contact me. I also have a course available on understanding how the tree of life works and how understanding archetypal embodiment is a super-hack to creating the life of your dreams. Integrity, Love, Will Heresy Please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When I woke up this morning, I could hear the waves thundering down on the shore. My immediate thought was, “Fuck yeah! The swell is here! It’s pumping!” Then a smile came across my face as my hand slipped between me and the blanket and felt a different type of pumping swell. There is energy specific to that area of my body…it is from where I created my sons, and it is the same energy that, when harnessed properly, will plant the seeds to create my reality. I wake up every day with that energy flowing, pumping, and swelling…but for some reason, today was the first time I consciously harnessed that energy into my intentions for what I wish to create today. Every day starts and ends in the middle of the night…at midnight. Each day emerges from the dark, burning brightest at an apex before retreating into the night. Winter gives birth to Spring before the heat of Summer gives way to Fall. And where does the energy of creation come, if not the depths of darkness? The first time I was held down in quadruple overhead waves, there was a moment where I said, “Oh, shit! I am out of my element and think I made a big mistake!” For a minute, I wondered if I would make it home to see my kids again. When the ocean finally released me back to the surface, I was able to gasp in some oxygen…I found a level of energy, focus, and power that I rarely experience. Out of the darkness of despair, hopelessness, shame, guilt, hate, rage, and deep sorrow…there is a superpower waiting to be tapped. I go into this in much more detail in this Episode of Musings from the Line-up. Share with me your thoughts and reactions from this episode. P.S. If you are interested in private coaching, lessons on utilizing Qabalistic Tarot to navigate your internal landscape, or would like to be included in announcements as the new clothing line launches, please message me, leave a comment, or drop your email at https://thesagesurfer.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.