The Parenting Presence podcast

065: How the Child's Sense of Self & Boundaries Help with Emotional Regulation

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What do boundaries have to do with emotional regulation? In this episode we are exploring the connection between the Sense of Self and the child’s sense of psychological Boundaries and what they have to do with the child’s emotional regulation. 


We explore why there can be no mental health without a Sense of Self.

And the child’s ability to form a strong Sense of Self depends on Boundaries.


It is the child's Sense of Self that ultimately helps them regulate emotionally, because of things like self-awareness and self-control, that come with the Sense of Self. Self awareness helps the child become aware of what they are feeling and also become aware of the fact that these are their emotions. And because it is their emotions, it is the child who wants to feel better, and is therefore compelled to find a way to self-regulate.


And the ability to self-regulate comes from their capacity for self-control.

This capacity increases as the child’s Sense of Self gets stronger. 


And the only way the Sense of Self can get stronger is — through boundaries. And so, as the Sense of Self strengthens (when protected by boundaries), it in turn also helps reinforce those boundaries even more.


This way, Boundaries and Sense of Self are not only interconnected, they reinforce each other.





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Podcast Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach

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