195: "We’ve Always Done It This Way." The Small Church Lie That Keeps Us Stuck | with Ebonie Mukasa

When a pastor retires, moves, or suddenly steps away, small churches often feel lost in the in-between. If this is hitting home for you, you’re not alone. Pastoral transitions are on the rise as more pastors retire and fewer step into ministry roles. In this episode, Laurie talks with Kari Bartkus, who served on her church’s pastoral transition team, about what it really looks like to help your church through a season like this—without panic, burnout, or losing your sense of purpose.In this episode:What to focus on when your church is between pastorsHow to care for people and keep communication openWays to fill the gaps without burning out a few key volunteersBuilding trust and teamwork in uncertain seasonsJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

If your church feels “too old” or “too small” to reach young families, this episode is packed with simple, practical ideas you can try this week. We’re talking about how small churches can connect with young families—not by doing more, but by showing up differently. It’s not about flashy programs or keeping up with trends. It’s about presence, warmth, and creating spaces where tired parents feel seen, supported, and safe. Because maybe your steady, faithful little church is exactly what they need right now.In this episode, we talk about:Why waiting for young families to “wander in” doesn’t work anymoreWhere to actually find families in your community and how to connect with no strings attachedHow to welcome families once they walk through the doorWhy small, older churches might be the most relevant ones of allJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

You don’t need a title to change the culture of your church. You’re already carrying influence—whether anyone names it or not. In this Lead Well replay, we’ll talk about how emotional health, spiritual maturity, and everyday presence shift the room around us—and why that matters more than chasing status or hustling harder.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why influence isn’t about titles, but about how you show upThe link between emotional health and the culture women create in small churchesHow to recognize the impact you’re already making (without burning out)A freer, more intentional way to carry your voice and presenceGet the Lead Well Conference Replays here: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Tradition can be beautiful — but when “we’ve always done it this way” becomes the default answer, it stops being wisdom and starts being a wall. In this episode, we talk about why resistant church culture burns women out, silences new ideas, and quietly drives people away. And honestly? It’s costing us more than we realize.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why “we’ve always done it this way” feels safe — but slowly kills momentumHow resistant culture silences women’s voices and fresh ideasThe emotional cost of keeping peace instead of naming truthWhy new doesn’t have to mean reckless — it can mean healthierHopeful ways to shift culture without losing your mind (or your faith)Connect with Ebonie Mukasa:www.eboniemukasa.comGet your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

In small churches, titles can build invisible walls—like pastors’ wives on one side, “regular” women on the other. Or ministry leaders here, and occasional volunteers over there. But those labels don’t tell the whole story, and they often keep us from the deep, honest community we long for. In this episode, Kristen Joy Humiston and I share from both sides of the wall, uncovering how much more we have in common than what separates us.What you’ll hear in this episode:How titles like “pastor’s wife” or “leader” can unintentionally create distanceWhy women in small churches often feel divided (and how to bridge the gap)Stories from both sides: living with a title and living without oneHow shared struggles (loneliness, pressure, expectations) prove we’re not so different after allWhat it could look like if we ditched the labels and built friendships that actually lastConnect with Kristen Joy Humiston:www.kristenjoycoaching.com Get your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Women have often been told to be strong, hold it together, and do it all for everyone else. But the truth? That version of “strength” is quietly breaking us — and it’s breaking our small churches too. In this episode, we name the lie, call out the pressure, and talk about a better way to live and serve.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why the “do it all” mindset isn’t holy at allHow invisible labor is crushing women in small churchesThe hidden cost of always being “the strong one”Why burnout isn’t a failure, but a warning signWhat strength looks like when it finally stops breaking you  - lighter, freer, and actually livableGet your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Women in small churches often feel like we have to hold it all in or keep it together for everyone else. But shutting down emotions doesn’t make us stronger — it cuts us off from one of the main ways God shapes us.In this episode, Becky Brown and I bust the myth that emotions are a weakness and show why they might be your greatest strength.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why “managing” your emotions can backfire — and what to do insteadThe surprising connection between emotional growth and spiritual maturityHow women in small churches often feel pressure to “hold it together” — and why it’s healthy to fall apart sometimesThe truth about emotions as signals, not distractions or obstaclesWhy your “too much” might actually be exactly what your church needsConnect with Becky Brown:When You Feel Like You’re Too Much: Why Your Emotions Might Be a Gift, Not a Problemwww.soveryblessed.comGet on the waitlist for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

When people don’t show up, it’s easy to assume they don’t care. But labeling them “uncommitted” doesn’t make us stronger leaders—it just makes us bitter, burned out, and less curious. In this episode, we’re calling out the commitment myth that keeps showing up in church conversations—and talking about what it really means to lead with presence, hope, and agency. Because what we believe about people? It shows up in how we treat them.In this episode:Why labeling people “uncommitted” leads to fatalism and frustrationHow our assumptions shape our actions—and our church cultureThe power of curiosity over criticism when people don’t engage how we’d likeWhat it means to lead with agency, not resentmentJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

If you listened to Episode 189, you know we tackled the hard truth about what happens when grace gets twisted into protecting bullies in the church. This episode stands on its own — but it’s also a continuation of that conversation.We’re getting real about how to handle church conflict in a healthy, biblical way … and why the space between ignoring bad behavior and asking someone to leave matters so much.Here’s what’s inside:The “in-between” - why it matters and how to live there without losing your mind.How to deal with bullies in church - with empathy, truth, and boundaries.Speaking softly, holding your ground, and still loving people well.The behavior that’s never okay in church (and how to call it out with kindness).When to keep working toward repair … and when to walk away in peace.Because healthy churches aren’t built by people who avoid hard conversations. They’re built by people who love deeply, speak truth gently, and trust that God still has more for His church.Join our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Sometimes “just be gracious” is really code for “don’t rock the boat.” But when grace gets twisted into silence, avoidance, or fear, it stops looking like Jesus. In this episode, we’re talking about the quiet damage that happens when harmful behavior is tolerated in the name of patience or peace. What do you do when you’re not in charge but can’t ignore the dysfunction? Let’s get real about boundaries, truth, and the courage to speak up in love.What You’ll Hear:Why avoidance often gets mislabeled as grace in small church cultureThe difference between strong personalities and destructive behaviorWhat it looks like to protect others without overstepping leadershipSimple language and actions that help you draw healthy linesEncouragement to stay spiritually healthy—even when your church isn’tJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/