194: Pastor. Pastor’s Wife. Volunteer. Leader. Are We Really That Different? | with Kristen Joy Humiston

In small churches, titles can build invisible walls—like pastors’ wives on one side, “regular” women on the other. Or ministry leaders here, and occasional volunteers over there. But those labels don’t tell the whole story, and they often keep us from the deep, honest community we long for. In this episode, Kristen Joy Humiston and I share from both sides of the wall, uncovering how much more we have in common than what separates us.What you’ll hear in this episode:How titles like “pastor’s wife” or “leader” can unintentionally create distanceWhy women in small churches often feel divided (and how to bridge the gap)Stories from both sides: living with a title and living without oneHow shared struggles (loneliness, pressure, expectations) prove we’re not so different after allWhat it could look like if we ditched the labels and built friendships that actually lastConnect with Kristen Joy Humiston:www.kristenjoycoaching.com Get your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Women have often been told to be strong, hold it together, and do it all for everyone else. But the truth? That version of “strength” is quietly breaking us — and it’s breaking our small churches too. In this episode, we name the lie, call out the pressure, and talk about a better way to live and serve.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why the “do it all” mindset isn’t holy at allHow invisible labor is crushing women in small churchesThe hidden cost of always being “the strong one”Why burnout isn’t a failure, but a warning signWhat strength looks like when it finally stops breaking you  - lighter, freer, and actually livableGet your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Women in small churches often feel like we have to hold it all in or keep it together for everyone else. But shutting down emotions doesn’t make us stronger — it cuts us off from one of the main ways God shapes us.In this episode, Becky Brown and I bust the myth that emotions are a weakness and show why they might be your greatest strength.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why “managing” your emotions can backfire — and what to do insteadThe surprising connection between emotional growth and spiritual maturityHow women in small churches often feel pressure to “hold it together” — and why it’s healthy to fall apart sometimesThe truth about emotions as signals, not distractions or obstaclesWhy your “too much” might actually be exactly what your church needsConnect with Becky Brown:When You Feel Like You’re Too Much: Why Your Emotions Might Be a Gift, Not a Problemwww.soveryblessed.comGet on the waitlist for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

When people don’t show up, it’s easy to assume they don’t care. But labeling them “uncommitted” doesn’t make us stronger leaders—it just makes us bitter, burned out, and less curious. In this episode, we’re calling out the commitment myth that keeps showing up in church conversations—and talking about what it really means to lead with presence, hope, and agency. Because what we believe about people? It shows up in how we treat them.In this episode:Why labeling people “uncommitted” leads to fatalism and frustrationHow our assumptions shape our actions—and our church cultureThe power of curiosity over criticism when people don’t engage how we’d likeWhat it means to lead with agency, not resentmentJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

If you listened to Episode 189, you know we tackled the hard truth about what happens when grace gets twisted into protecting bullies in the church. This episode stands on its own — but it’s also a continuation of that conversation.We’re getting real about how to handle church conflict in a healthy, biblical way … and why the space between ignoring bad behavior and asking someone to leave matters so much.Here’s what’s inside:The “in-between” - why it matters and how to live there without losing your mind.How to deal with bullies in church - with empathy, truth, and boundaries.Speaking softly, holding your ground, and still loving people well.The behavior that’s never okay in church (and how to call it out with kindness).When to keep working toward repair … and when to walk away in peace.Because healthy churches aren’t built by people who avoid hard conversations. They’re built by people who love deeply, speak truth gently, and trust that God still has more for His church.Join our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Sometimes “just be gracious” is really code for “don’t rock the boat.” But when grace gets twisted into silence, avoidance, or fear, it stops looking like Jesus. In this episode, we’re talking about the quiet damage that happens when harmful behavior is tolerated in the name of patience or peace. What do you do when you’re not in charge but can’t ignore the dysfunction? Let’s get real about boundaries, truth, and the courage to speak up in love.What You’ll Hear:Why avoidance often gets mislabeled as grace in small church cultureThe difference between strong personalities and destructive behaviorWhat it looks like to protect others without overstepping leadershipSimple language and actions that help you draw healthy linesEncouragement to stay spiritually healthy—even when your church isn’tJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

That question — “Would you keep doing your ministry if you weren’t paid?” — drives me nuts. Ministry isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither is pay. Some serve as a career, others as a calling — and both deserve respect. This episode isn’t about right or wrong; it’s about honesty, healthy boundaries, and giving yourself permission to choose what works for your life, whether that includes a paycheck or not.What You’ll Hear:How the “Would you work for free?” question misses the messy, real-life truth about small church ministryWhy budgets don’t always reflect the value churches place on ministry rolesWhen unclear expectations can lead to hurt—and why clear boundaries protect everyoneJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

If your church is shrinking, struggling, or just doesn’t look like it used to—it can feel like failure. But what if it’s not?In this episode, we talk honestly about fear, change, and what actually makes a church vibrant (hint: it’s not numbers). Because while buildings close, callings don’t—and Jesus isn’t panicking.You’ll hear:Why panic isn’t a strategy—and what to focus on insteadHow to grieve well without getting stuck in itWhat to do when the youth group disappears (or never existed)What influence looks like when you have no title or teamLet’s shift from fear to purpose—and start showing up like it still matters.Join our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

What if you could enter the next ministry year with clarity, unity, and a plan that actually fits your church? In this episode, I talk with Lauren Jackson from Kids Ministry Circle about how churches of any size can create a meaningful, intentional KidMin plan—and why July is the perfect time to start. Whether you're leading solo or working with a team, this conversation will give you practical ideas and a whole lot of encouragement.In this episode, you'll hear:1. Why summer is the ideal time to plan your KidMin year2. How to invite Jesus into your planning process3. Key conversations to have with your pastor and team4. What planning looks like in small church contexts5. Encouragement for leaders who feel overwhelmed or under-resourcedConnect with Lauren Jackson:www.nextgenministrynetwork.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

What if your small church could run a meaningful, Jesus-centered children’s ministry—even with just a few kids and a couple of volunteers? In this episode, I’m talking with Group Publishing about their brand-new Sunday School curriculum, Two or More, designed specifically for smaller churches and mixed-age groups. If you've been trying to “make it work” with curriculum that doesn’t fit your context… this one's for you.In this episode, you'll hear:1. Why Two or More was created with small churches in mind2. How it works for all ages in the same room3. What makes this curriculum different from others on the market4. How it supports volunteers who wear all the hats5. How to know if it’s the right fit for your churchFind Two Or More Curriculum here: www.smallchurchministry.com/groupConnect with Ali Thompson: [email protected] our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get your FREE ticket to the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference! >> www.smallchurchsummits.com/Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/