201: Do No Harm - What Churches Can Do to Support Real Healing | with Licensed Therapist Kati Quigley

In small churches, we’re often the first people others turn to when life falls apart - whether we’re on staff, leading worship, teaching kids, or serving on the elder board. In Part Two of the Do No Harm series, Laurie and licensed therapist Kati Quigley talk about what churches can do to help create more emotionally healthy spaces. This isn’t about becoming counselors, giving advice, or providing solutions. It’s about practicing empathy, allowing people to lean into their own painful places, listening well, and partnering with counselors and professionals we trust.In this episode:How small churches can normalize therapy and mental health supportWhy awareness of reactions matters (our own and others) in ministry meetingsHow to listen better and create safer, judgment-free spacesThe value of clear boundaries and trusted referral listsConnect with Kati Quigley:katiquigleycounseling.orgJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

When the Church tries to heal what it doesn’t understand, even good intentions can cause real harm. In this first conversation of the Do No Harm series, Laurie and licensed therapist Kati Quigley talk about the unseen damage that happens when untrained pastoral or biblical counseling takes the place of trauma-informed care. It’s not about blame; it’s about awareness, wisdom, and protecting the people we’re called to love well.In this episode:The difference between spiritual care and clinical therapyWhy quoting Scripture can backfire for trauma survivorsWhat “do no harm” really looks like in ministryThe emotional fallout when help hurtsFirst steps toward safer, trauma-informed spiritual careConnect with Kati Quigley:katiquigleycounseling.orgJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

In this Church Spotlight, Ruth A. Popkin shares how her small church started A Really Free Market - a ministry built on listening, not assumptions. Instead of following trends, they followed people, meeting real needs with dignity and creativity. It’s a story of simple generosity that’s reshaping how small churches think about outreach.Listen in for:How to listen to your community before deciding what they “need”The difference between following people and following trendsWhat makes A Really Free Market unique (and doable for any church size)How trust, conversation, and consistency open real doors for ministryConnect with Ruth A. Popkin:www.facebook.com/ReallyFreeMarketplacewww.blcin.com/the-really-really-free-marketCheck out podcast episode 166: We Added Dignity To A Food Pantry With A Sit-Down Cafe | with Alastair & Nicola Bruch: www.podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/166-church-spotlight-we-added-dignity-to-a-food/id1583416568?i=1000697609047Join our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

When a pastor retires, moves, or suddenly steps away, small churches often feel lost in the in-between. If this is hitting home for you, you’re not alone. Pastoral transitions are on the rise as more pastors retire and fewer step into ministry roles. In this episode, Laurie talks with Kari Bartkus, who served on her church’s pastoral transition team, about what it really looks like to help your church through a season like this—without panic, burnout, or losing your sense of purpose.In this episode:What to focus on when your church is between pastorsHow to care for people and keep communication openWays to fill the gaps without burning out a few key volunteersBuilding trust and teamwork in uncertain seasonsJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

If your church feels “too old” or “too small” to reach young families, this episode is packed with simple, practical ideas you can try this week. We’re talking about how small churches can connect with young families—not by doing more, but by showing up differently. It’s not about flashy programs or keeping up with trends. It’s about presence, warmth, and creating spaces where tired parents feel seen, supported, and safe. Because maybe your steady, faithful little church is exactly what they need right now.In this episode, we talk about:Why waiting for young families to “wander in” doesn’t work anymoreWhere to actually find families in your community and how to connect with no strings attachedHow to welcome families once they walk through the doorWhy small, older churches might be the most relevant ones of allJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

You don’t need a title to change the culture of your church. You’re already carrying influence—whether anyone names it or not. In this Lead Well replay, we’ll talk about how emotional health, spiritual maturity, and everyday presence shift the room around us—and why that matters more than chasing status or hustling harder.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why influence isn’t about titles, but about how you show upThe link between emotional health and the culture women create in small churchesHow to recognize the impact you’re already making (without burning out)A freer, more intentional way to carry your voice and presenceGet the Lead Well Conference Replays here: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Tradition can be beautiful — but when “we’ve always done it this way” becomes the default answer, it stops being wisdom and starts being a wall. In this episode, we talk about why resistant church culture burns women out, silences new ideas, and quietly drives people away. And honestly? It’s costing us more than we realize.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why “we’ve always done it this way” feels safe — but slowly kills momentumHow resistant culture silences women’s voices and fresh ideasThe emotional cost of keeping peace instead of naming truthWhy new doesn’t have to mean reckless — it can mean healthierHopeful ways to shift culture without losing your mind (or your faith)Connect with Ebonie Mukasa:www.eboniemukasa.comGet your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

In small churches, titles can build invisible walls—like pastors’ wives on one side, “regular” women on the other. Or ministry leaders here, and occasional volunteers over there. But those labels don’t tell the whole story, and they often keep us from the deep, honest community we long for. In this episode, Kristen Joy Humiston and I share from both sides of the wall, uncovering how much more we have in common than what separates us.What you’ll hear in this episode:How titles like “pastor’s wife” or “leader” can unintentionally create distanceWhy women in small churches often feel divided (and how to bridge the gap)Stories from both sides: living with a title and living without oneHow shared struggles (loneliness, pressure, expectations) prove we’re not so different after allWhat it could look like if we ditched the labels and built friendships that actually lastConnect with Kristen Joy Humiston:www.kristenjoycoaching.com Get your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Women have often been told to be strong, hold it together, and do it all for everyone else. But the truth? That version of “strength” is quietly breaking us — and it’s breaking our small churches too. In this episode, we name the lie, call out the pressure, and talk about a better way to live and serve.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why the “do it all” mindset isn’t holy at allHow invisible labor is crushing women in small churchesThe hidden cost of always being “the strong one”Why burnout isn’t a failure, but a warning signWhat strength looks like when it finally stops breaking you  - lighter, freer, and actually livableGet your FREE ticket for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/

Women in small churches often feel like we have to hold it all in or keep it together for everyone else. But shutting down emotions doesn’t make us stronger — it cuts us off from one of the main ways God shapes us.In this episode, Becky Brown and I bust the myth that emotions are a weakness and show why they might be your greatest strength.What you’ll hear in this episode:Why “managing” your emotions can backfire — and what to do insteadThe surprising connection between emotional growth and spiritual maturityHow women in small churches often feel pressure to “hold it together” — and why it’s healthy to fall apart sometimesThe truth about emotions as signals, not distractions or obstaclesWhy your “too much” might actually be exactly what your church needsConnect with Becky Brown:When You Feel Like You’re Too Much: Why Your Emotions Might Be a Gift, Not a Problemwww.soveryblessed.comGet on the waitlist for the Lead Well for Women in Small Churches Conference: www.smallchurchsummits.comJoin our free Facebook Community: www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministryRate, Review, & Follow Laurie on Apple Podcasts"I love Laurie and The Small Church Ministry Podcast!!" << If that's like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps Small Church Ministry support and reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches! Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then, let us know what you loved most about this episode!Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. This is the best way to stay updated on the new episodes we release weekly. If you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on future episodes. Follow now!Get the Ministry Bundles here!Support the showFollow Us:Website: https://smallchurchministry.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/smallchurchministry/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/smallchurchministryCreative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministrySmall Church Network: https://smallchurchministry.com/membership/