What Many Parents Get Wrong About Toddler Behavior

Send us a textIn today’s episode, Devon Kuntzman and I dive deep into what’s really happening inside your toddler’s brain when they lose it — and how you can respond without spiralling yourself.We unpack why your child’s meltdowns aren’t your fault, what they’re trying to tell you through their behavior, and the simple mindset shift that will change how you see tantrums forever.If you’ve ever thought, “Why is my child doing this to me?” or “I said no… why can’t they just listen?”  then this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and ready for the next tantrum (yes, really).In this episode, you’ll learn:The real reason toddlers have tantrums (and why it’s developmentally healthyWhy “all behavior is communication” — and how to decode what your child is saying through their actionsHow to stay calm and compassionate even when you’re triggeredWhy giving in “just this once” actually leads to more tantrumsWhat to do when your child prefers the other parent — and how to not take it personallyDevon’s 3-ingredient “Recipe for Effective Discipline” that works with every tantrumHow to model emotional regulation — even if you never learned it growing upGet Devon's book here:https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400252954/?bestFormat=true&k=transforming%20toddlerhood%20devon%20kuntzman&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k1_1_9_de&crid=11L8ZPOO86D3&sprefix=devon%20kunFollow her on Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhoodRead our blog post:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/15/a-yale-study-shows-how-a-parents-calm-and-consistency-literally-shape-a-childs-brain/Support the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textLast week, we uncovered how your child’s behaviour is really their nervous system communicating.Today, we’re going deeper, inside the body, to explore the science of interoception, the hidden sense that helps us feel and understand our emotions.My guest, Laura Petix, is back to break down how learning to tune into your body’s internal signals can transform the way you regulate emotions, set boundaries, and parent with calm.We’ll explore what the research says including new studies showing that people who strengthen their interoception become more mindful, less reactive, and better at managing stress (Zamariola et al., 2019; Smith et al., 2023).You’ll learn:What interoception actually is and why it’s the missing link in emotional regulationHow to recognize your own body’s “early warning signs” of overwhelmSimple ways to help your child notice what emotions feel like inside their bodyWhat it really means to protect your nervous system (and why that’s not selfish)How to create routines that support regulation for both you and your childIf you’ve ever said, “I know the tools, but I can’t seem to use them when I’m stressed,” this episode will show you whyand exactly how to change that.Tune in now to learn how body awareness can be your most powerful parenting tool and share this episode with a friend! Get Laura's book:A Kid's Book about NeurodiversityFollow Laura on Instagram: @theotbutterflyListen to part 1 of this conversation:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170Support the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textYou’ve heard the advice: “Teach your child to name their emotions.”But what if the real secret to helping your child (and yourself) regulate emotions starts deeper inside the body?In this episode, I sit down with pediatric occupational therapist Laura Petix (The OT Butterfly) to uncover what’s really going on when kids have meltdowns, get overstimulated, or shut down. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being “bad” or “defiant.”Laura explains how your child’s behavior is actually a message from their nervous system and why understanding this changes everything about the way you respond.You’ll learn:Why meltdowns, shutdowns, and big reactions are signs of nervous-system overloadHow sensory sensitivities (sound, touch, movement) shape your child’s emotions and behaviorThe difference between a tantrum and a meltdown and why that mattersWhy co-regulation starts with your calm nervous systemThe mindset shift that helps you see behavior through compassion instead of controlIf you’ve ever wondered “Why does my child react this way — and why do I lose my cool, too?” this episode will open your eyes to what’s really happening beneath the surface.Listen now and get ready to see your child’s behavior through a completely new lens.Get Laura's Book: A Kids Book About NeurodiversityFollow Laura on Instagram @theotbutterflySupport the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textDo you ever hear your child say things like, “I’m such a bad kid” or “I’ll never be good at this” and your heart sinks because you don’t know what to say?You’re not alone. And this episode is about to change the way you respond.Today, I’m sitting down with award-winning science journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer to talk about her latest book Hello, Cruel World, a toolkit for raising confident, resilient kids in today’s messy, complicated world.Here’s the truth:➡️ Your kids will struggle with self-doubt, negative self-talk, and tough emotions.➡️ How you respond in those moments can either shut them down or help them build lifelong confidence.➡️ And the secret isn’t telling them “Don’t say that”  it’s something much more powerful (and doable).In this episode, you’ll learn:The 3-step “recipe” for self-compassion (and how practicing it yourself teaches your kids to do the same).How to validate your child’s feelings without agreeing with their negative self-talk.The surprising research on resilience: why letting your kids sit with discomfort (instead of rescuing them every time) builds the skills they’ll need for life.Why helicopter parenting backfires — and how giving kids independence actually boosts confidence and self-esteem.The truth about alcohol and teens (and why letting them drink at home doesn’t protect them — it puts them at greater risk).This conversation will give you the practical, science-backed strategies you need to:✔️ Stop feeling helpless when your child is hard on themselves✔️ Build their confidence in everyday moments✔️ Feel more equipped to parent in a world that often feels overwhelmingThis is one of those episodes you’ll want to save, re-listen to, and share with every parent you know.Join Melinda's Newsletter, Now What:https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/Follow Melinda on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/melindawmoyer/Parenting Self-compassion: a Systematic Review and Meta-analysis:https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-020-01401-xSupport the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textParents, this one is big.Today we’re breaking down punishment vs discipline, what science says, how it impacts your child’s brain, and why so many of us feel stuck in the cycle of punishing even when we don’t want to.If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t want to yell, spank, or threaten…but it just slips out when I’m overwhelmed,” you are not alone.Here’s what you’ll learn today:What studies reveal about how spanking and harsh discipline change the way your child’s brain processes fear, mistakes, and emotions.Why your nervous system is the most powerful discipline tool you have.A simple framework from Dr. Lori Desautels’ book Connections Over Compliance that helps you “connect before you correct.”And if you’re ready to go deeper, join us inside The Reflective Parent Club. That’s where we take this science and make it real in our daily lives, with support, tools, and a community of parents walking this same journey.Because when you regulate, connect, and guide, you’re not just shaping behaviour. You’re shaping the brain.Articles:https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33835477/https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36152947/https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34197808/Read blog post:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/09/20/science-of-punishment-vs-discipline-how-parenting-shapes-your-childs-brain/Podcast episode with Dr. Bruce Perry:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000596000285Support the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textThis episode will change how you see your child’s moods and how you respond to them.If you’ve ever tiptoed around your child in the morning, worried the “wrong” cereal bowl or shirt will set off a meltdown, this conversation is for you.Joining me is Dr. Alex Reed, pediatric clinical psychologist and mom of two, who has spent years helping families understand temperament, moodiness, and emotional regulation. Together, we pull back the curtain on what’s really happening when your child seems unpredictable, reactive, or even says, “I hate you.”You’ll learn:Why some kids seem “moody” from the start and what temperament really means.The hidden role of shame in meltdowns (and why your child pushes you away even when you’re trying to help).The front door vs. side door approach and why lecturing, correcting, or over-validating often backfires.The science-backed strategies that actually work: modeling, storytelling, and overhearing.How to set calm, clear boundaries without escalating the conflict.The #1 skill you must practice first is your own regulation.This is not about quick fixes or “tricks” for behavior. It’s about raising kids who can handle their big feelings, and parents who can show up with confidence, calm, and connection—even in the hardest moments.By the end of this episode, you’ll have a new way to think about your child’s temperament, and practical steps you can use today to stop walking on eggshells.Join the conversation about this episode on our private Facebook group:https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=10172344324640258&set=gm.1942367649950164&idorvanity=677093716477570Read a science article about this:Predicting child problem behaviour at school age: The role of maternal sensitivity, child temperament and theory of mindSupport the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textThis episode will inspire you to see music as a powerful tool for connection, healing, and everyday parenting.It’s an invitation to play, sing, and create moments of joy with your children while learning how music can also soothe anxiety, ease transitions, and strengthen emotional bonds.And it’s a behind-the-scenes look at the real science of music therapy – far beyond entertainment and how it can transform lives across every age and stage.Joining me is Tanya Lavoie, a certified music therapist who works in pediatric hospitals and specializes in using music to support regulation, pain management, and emotional expression. In this heartfelt and practical conversation, Tanya shares how her work combines neuroscience, creativity, and compassion to help children and families thrive.You’ll learn:Why music therapy works, and the brain science behind itHow to use music at home to motivate your child, calm meltdowns, and create playful routinesSimple steps to build meaningful playlists for relaxation or focusThe truth about common music therapy myths (including the “Mozart Effect”)How to find a qualified music therapist in your areaIf you’re ready to bring more connection, calm, and joy into your home and discover the therapeutic power of music this conversation is your starting point.Support the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textI am going to be taking a short break. Meanwhile, enjoy this replay of one of my favourite episodes with Dr. Mona Delahooke. If you have a young child that has tantrums or that acts out in ways you don't know how to support, this episode will help you understand how to support your child in these challenging moments. Learn more from Dr. Delahooke below:https://monadelahooke.com/Support the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textIs your child ready for kindergarten from an emotional perspective?In this episode, Cindy discusses the emotional aspects of kindergarten readiness, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and self-awareness in children. She introduces the tripartite model of parental socialization, which highlights how parents' emotional coping, parenting styles, and conflict resolution impact children's emotional development. The conversation also covers practical strategies for parents to support their children's emotional growth and prepare them for school.TakeawaysKindergarten readiness involves emotional preparation, not just academic skills.Self-awareness is crucial for coping with emotions.Parents should model emotional regulation for their children.Understanding triggers helps children manage their emotions better.Emotional intelligence is built through conversations about feelings.Expecting children to be emotionally perfect is unrealistic.Parental emotional coping styles influence children's behavior.Setting boundaries while being sensitive is key in parenting.Conflict resolution in the home teaches children about emotions.Curiosity and relationship-building are essential for school readiness.Don't miss these podcast episodes:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000720552759https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000715100953Support the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textIn this episode, we explore the idea of “shifting your lens” — a powerful metaphor grounded in science that helps parents understand how their interpretation of a situation shapes their emotional response. Drawing on the work of psychologist James Gross and his research on cognitive reappraisal, we break down how the lens you’re wearing (like blame, control, or shame) can fuel conflict and dysregulation, especially in moments of parenting stress.You’ll learn how to identify the lens you’re in, how to shift your lens to something more helpful (like curiosity or compassion), and how this shift not only supports your own regulation but also helps you model emotional intelligence for your child. Real-life parenting examples, practical tips, and reflection prompts will help you bring this tool into everyday moments even when things get messy.Read our blog post here:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/08/03/how-to-shift-your-lens-and-stay-calm-in-parenting-conflicts/Read a science article:For Whom and What Does Cognitive Reappraisal Help? A ProspectiveStudyWatch it on YouTube:https://youtu.be/TOURlBqtmIcSupport the showRecord your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast Become a Reflective Parent using our evidence-based program: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges: https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube