The reason you snap at your kids (and what you can try instead)

Send us a textIf you’ve ever ended a night thinking, “Why did I snap again?” — this episode is for you.Today, we’re diving into what’s really happening in your brain and body when your child pushes your buttons. Because those intense reactions? They aren’t proof that you’re a bad parent. They’re signals from a nervous system in overdrive — and once you can recognize those signals, you can change the way you respond.We’ll talk about:Why your child’s emotions can feel like a threat to your brainThe science behind emotional flooding (in both you and your child)How stress, exhaustion, and self-expectations reduce your window of toleranceWhat “repair” looks like — and why it matters more than getting it perfectYou’ll walk away with practical reflection questions and simple shifts that help you move from snapping to connecting — even on the hard days.Join next week's FREE webinar (or get the replay):https://tremendous-hustler-7333.kit.com/ce962dd904Read the full article: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24392687/Share your thoughts and questions with me:https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8nsRead a blog post about this:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/12/03/why-you-still-snap-even-when-youve-done-the-work/Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textHi Reflective Parents! This week, we are talking about something I keep hearing from parents which is snapping at our kids even when we are working on ourselves by learning about parenting or even going to therapy. You are not failing your child. You are still learning many skills that lead to you becoming more aware of your own state before you snap.In this episode, I walk you through 3 steps that might help you catch yourself the next time you snap (notice I didn't say BEFORE you snap....that isn't always realistic). I would love to find a way to communicate better with all of you. Share your story that is related to this episode in the link below OR ask a question to help me create a future podcast episode. https://form.typeform.com/to/Dadaa8nsSupport the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textIf you keep snapping, shutting down, or feeling guilty, even though you “know” what to do... this episode will finally make it make sense.After speaking with more than 200 parents, I’ve noticed the same pattern:We are drowning in parenting advice, but no one is teaching parents the one skill that actually changes everything, how your nervous system works.In this episode, I talk about:Why you still lose patience even after therapy, courses, and all the scriptsWhat’s really happening in your body during those moments you “flip”Why you’re not a bad parent — you’re simply depletedHow viewing your child through a leadership lens instantly changes your reactionsThe real first step to building a calmer, more connected homeYou don’t need more advice.You need emotional bandwidth — and today, we talk about how to build it.New! Becoming a Reflective Parent course is now available!!!Learn the 10 skills that help you rewire patterns, regulate emotions, and understand your nervous system. Get it today!https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textToday on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.In this episode, we cover:The two stages when boys start hiding emotionsWhy boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re strugglingHow to become an emotional safe space for your sonWhat makes it hard for dads to be vulnerableGentle ways to start emotional conversations with boysThe RULER model for building emotional intelligenceHow to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawnWhy parents’ own emotional work mattersPractical scripts and small daily moments that build trustRead our blog post about this topic:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/Learn more from Brendan below:@re.masculinehttps://remasculine.comhttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textThis episode will change how you see conflict.We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.You’ll learn:the Four Horsemen (with real examples)how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuckthe shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healinghow your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversationThis is not about fixing the last fight.This is about changing the next one.If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/Get the book The Next Conversation hereDon't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textIf you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.This episode is not about “how to argue better.”It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…why others shut down to survive the moment…and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.It is about state.Get their new book on Amazon here.Follow Rachel on InstagramFollow Dr. Jessie on InstagramRead our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments hereSupport the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textEver wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why.Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You’ll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child.They also unpack the role of temperament and sensitivity in relationships. Why do some people (and kids) feel everything more deeply? What does that mean for how we connect, comfort, and communicate?If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could stay calm when things get hard,” this conversation will give you the science and the self-awareness to start doing exactly that.Because connection isn’t about perfection — it’s about noticing, savoring, and showing up with compassion.Read their new book: Beyond Difficult: An attachment-based guide to dealing with challenging peopleFollow Rachel SamsonFollow Dr. Jessie SternRead the science article: Savoring interventions for mothers of young children: Mechanisms linking relational savoring and personal savoring to reflective functioningListen to more podcast episodes:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000731541535https://podcasts.Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textIn today’s episode, Devon Kuntzman and I dive deep into what’s really happening inside your toddler’s brain when they lose it — and how you can respond without spiralling yourself.We unpack why your child’s meltdowns aren’t your fault, what they’re trying to tell you through their behavior, and the simple mindset shift that will change how you see tantrums forever.If you’ve ever thought, “Why is my child doing this to me?” or “I said no… why can’t they just listen?”  then this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and ready for the next tantrum (yes, really).In this episode, you’ll learn:The real reason toddlers have tantrums (and why it’s developmentally healthyWhy “all behavior is communication” — and how to decode what your child is saying through their actionsHow to stay calm and compassionate even when you’re triggeredWhy giving in “just this once” actually leads to more tantrumsWhat to do when your child prefers the other parent — and how to not take it personallyDevon’s 3-ingredient “Recipe for Effective Discipline” that works with every tantrumHow to model emotional regulation — even if you never learned it growing upGet Devon's book here:https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400252954/?bestFormat=true&k=transforming%20toddlerhood%20devon%20kuntzman&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k1_1_9_de&crid=11L8ZPOO86D3&sprefix=devon%20kunFollow her on Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhoodRead our blog post:https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/15/a-yale-study-shows-how-a-parents-calm-and-consistency-literally-shape-a-childs-brain/Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textLast week, we uncovered how your child’s behaviour is really their nervous system communicating.Today, we’re going deeper, inside the body, to explore the science of interoception, the hidden sense that helps us feel and understand our emotions.My guest, Laura Petix, is back to break down how learning to tune into your body’s internal signals can transform the way you regulate emotions, set boundaries, and parent with calm.We’ll explore what the research says including new studies showing that people who strengthen their interoception become more mindful, less reactive, and better at managing stress (Zamariola et al., 2019; Smith et al., 2023).You’ll learn:What interoception actually is and why it’s the missing link in emotional regulationHow to recognize your own body’s “early warning signs” of overwhelmSimple ways to help your child notice what emotions feel like inside their bodyWhat it really means to protect your nervous system (and why that’s not selfish)How to create routines that support regulation for both you and your childIf you’ve ever said, “I know the tools, but I can’t seem to use them when I’m stressed,” this episode will show you whyand exactly how to change that.Tune in now to learn how body awareness can be your most powerful parenting tool and share this episode with a friend! Get Laura's book:A Kid's Book about NeurodiversityFollow Laura on Instagram: @theotbutterflyListen to part 1 of this conversation:https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170Support the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a textYou’ve heard the advice: “Teach your child to name their emotions.”But what if the real secret to helping your child (and yourself) regulate emotions starts deeper inside the body?In this episode, I sit down with pediatric occupational therapist Laura Petix (The OT Butterfly) to uncover what’s really going on when kids have meltdowns, get overstimulated, or shut down. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being “bad” or “defiant.”Laura explains how your child’s behavior is actually a message from their nervous system and why understanding this changes everything about the way you respond.You’ll learn:Why meltdowns, shutdowns, and big reactions are signs of nervous-system overloadHow sensory sensitivities (sound, touch, movement) shape your child’s emotions and behaviorThe difference between a tantrum and a meltdown and why that mattersWhy co-regulation starts with your calm nervous systemThe mindset shift that helps you see behavior through compassion instead of controlIf you’ve ever wondered “Why does my child react this way — and why do I lose my cool, too?” this episode will open your eyes to what’s really happening beneath the surface.Listen now and get ready to see your child’s behavior through a completely new lens.Get Laura's Book: A Kids Book About NeurodiversityFollow Laura on Instagram @theotbutterflySupport the showIf You’re Working on Staying Calm During Chaotic Parenting Moments… This episode pairs beautifully with my course, Becoming a Reflective Parent, where we start with values and identity before diving into the 10 emotional skills parents were never taught — including stress management, emotion regulation, self-awareness, leadership, and conflict resolution.If you snap easily, feel overwhelmed, or want to parent with more calm and confidence, this course was designed for you. https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/ Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube