The Felt Sense podcast

Day 6 — A man of lust

15 Sekunden vorwärts
15 Sekunden vorwärts

What I am about to share with you is purely from my experience. I do not have the scientific knowledge nor am I interested in finding out at this point in my journey.

The results could be different for other people but this is just what I found after a more intense observation of the changes taking place in me in the last 24 hours. While the changes are subtle, an intense observation of the body makes it impossible to ignore these changes.

The arch of the feet became slightly stiff. The calf muscles too. But the tightness is more pronounced in the inner thighs and the hamstrings. The fluidity that is usually experienced when I place my awareness in these areas has diminished noticeably.

Coming to the perineum, it is considerably wound up. An attempt to unwind it showed me that it is intricately connected to the tightness of the lower belly. Slightly painful sensation in the base of the genitals. Strangely this entire area is somehow connected to my nasal septum and I don’t know how. An attempt to relax this area results in relaxation in my nasal septum which is slightly deviated. Conversely, more sexual acts results in the deviation becoming a wee bit more severe.

A few months ago, I had done a few extended sessions of relaxing my lower belly and perineum. My deviated septum had become completely straight. This was a revelation for me at the time.

Over the years, I have noticed that an extended period of semen retention results in butterfly sensations in the mid chest and lower belly region. These sensations remind me of the first few heady days of romantic love. These feelings also have the colour of innocent joy and excitement — a feeling which dominated my psyche much more as a child. But they disappear almost completely after orgasm. Today, at this moment I feel nothing but light constricting pain which could be easily mistaken for hunger.

What is most pronounced is the tightness that manifests each and everytime on my collarbones and the entire throat, jawline, and scalp area. My cheeks are swollen, eyes are a little smaller and my whole scalp feels quite inflamed and tight — almost like I am wearing a swimming cap. The inflammation of the scalp has resulted in my hair thinning out over the years.Within a few hours of ejaculation, the face turns from glowing and thin to fat and dull. These are happening on a subtle level, but very difficult to ignore once you pay enough attention.

Over a period of time, I have realised that most men go through these changes. It is clear that these signs of sexual indulgence are manifest more in some men than others. While I am out and about, it more clear to me who is too affected by sexual desire and who is not by just looking at one’s face — this is wisdom gained from the sex demon living inside me. If nothing else, the way their eyes move, or their smile sometimes gives it away.

A quick google search of rapists and sexual predators will give you tight faces which have the features I described above like swollen jaws and cheeks, smaller eyes. This is very much in contrast with the face of meditators who typically have gentler and warmer faces.


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