The Felt Sense podcast

Day 5 — The No Fap myth

15 Sekunden vorwärts
15 Sekunden vorwärts

There is a strange connection between a night of disturbed sleep and high level of sexual cravings the next day. I have been a witness to this multiple times over the past few years to ignore this connection. Today was another episode of this ongoing struggle.

While I am a firm believer in semen retention and its benefits, I am also against forceful abstinence.

Over the years of multiple failed attempts at abstinence, I have become a considerable expert in the art of making resolutions, failing at them and starting over.

The most convincing weapon that my mind comes up with is — Curiosity. “Lets just take a look. Test yourself. Its been so long that you have gone without seeing the female body. You are beyond these superficial things. Don’t you want to prove to yourself that you are not a slave to your desire anymore?” So far the mind has managed to win, every single time in tricking me.

The second most deadly excuse that my mind comes up with — “this is going to be THE LAST TIME EVER.” I have lost count of how many “last” times I have had in the past 7 years ever since I started to try and be a celibate yogi.

Have I finally realised the futility of this exercise after 7 years? — It is beginning to dawn on me, yes. Do I still harbour a faint hope that I will be successful in becoming a master of my desire?- Very much so.

So what is my new gameplan of rising beyond Nature’s trick?
The gameplan is not new, in fact it is probably one of the oldest and most failproof way of achieving this. And that is —to come back to the body. Again and again. The approach may be old, but my determination is brand new. The idea is to tune into the vastness and completeness of the body more and more deeply so that sexual desire seems puny in comparison and it naturally falls away.

Why have I not done it so far if it is so simple? The reason is just that. It is because of a lack of trust in the simplicity and straightforwardness of the approach. I have tried all kinds of methods, gained from NoFap gurus on youtube — cold showers, limiting access to gadgets, imagining every woman to be my sister (thanks to Swami Sivananda Saraswati) and many other solutions. These approaches..they did help temporarily. But somehow my mind always managed to slip past whatever defenses I put up.

Will this approach work? I don’t know for sure. Maybe, maybe not. I do hope it does. But its different from what I have been trying so far. And on days that I have been blessed to touch the infinite space of my body, the likelihood of cravings arising is so much lower. But those are rare days. The goal is to deepen this connection and to ultimately never depart.


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