248: Just Because You Can Do It All, Doesn’t Mean You Should | with Charmaine Stulp

We say everyone matters, everyone's voice counts, and everyone has something to offer. So why do the same three people make all the decisions, and why are we still asking people to fill jobs instead of finding out what they'd actually love to do?In Part 1, we're looking at how the decisions we make and the way we lead can actually get in the way of what we want for our churches.In this episode, we're talking about:➡️ The church habits we've stopped noticing (but everyone else might see!)➡️ What we're accidentally teaching people about whose opinions count➡️ Why the same people keep running everything, even when we say we want more help➡️ The difference between helping people grow and just filling volunteer positions➡️ Simple changes we can make without forming another committee or rewriting the mission statementRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

What do you do when the pastor says no, the board chooses something different, or a ministry decision you care deeply about doesn't go your way? It's easy to go from disappointment to feeling like we have no power at all. In this episode, Laurie talks about how to care for what's happening inside us, recognize what was actually decided, and find the choices and influence that are still ours.Listen in for:➡️ Why not having the final say doesn't mean having no say at all➡️ Laurie's 4 A's for responding when a decision hits harder than expected➡️ How to tell the difference between someone else's decision and the choices that still belong to you➡️ What it can look like to leave, stay, adapt, or find another avenue for your influence➡️ Three questions to ask when a ministry decision doesn't go your wayRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

In this episode, Laurie talks about what happens after the numbers disappoint us. Because the problem usually isn't that we wanted more people to come. It's what we start making that number mean about the people who didn't come, the ministry we planned, ourselves, or even what God is doing.Listen in for:➡️ Why it’s okay to want more people to show up➡️ What happens when disappointment turns into blame➡️ What attendance numbers can tell us ... and what they can’t➡️ Why a smaller number doesn’t automatically mean something went wrong➡️ A different way to plan when you have no idea how many people will comeRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

Most of us think we know what empathy is. But what if we’ve spent years caring for people, serving in church, and even trying to love people well without ever really learning how to receive or give it?In this conversation with Soul Shepherding’s Kristi Gaultiere, co-author of Deeply Loved, we’re talking about why empathy is so often misunderstood in the church and what could change in our relationships, our ministries, and our own emotional health if we got better at it.Listen in for:➡️ What could change in a small church if we learned to practice empathy well➡️ Why you may not understand empathy until you’ve actually experienced it➡️ What happens when we rush past emotions with advice, encouragement, or even “I’m sorry”➡️ Why receiving empathy may be harder than giving it, especially for people who spend their lives caring for others➡️ The difference between empathy, coddling, and codependencyCONNECT WITH KRISTI GAULTIEREDeeply Loved Book: Deeply LovedSoul Shepherding Retreats: Soul Shepherding RetreatsSpiritual Direction Training + Certificate: CSD TrainingMeet with a Spiritual Director or Coach: Spiritual Director + Coach DirectoryRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

Last week, women from small churches came together for our Women Reaching Women Conference, and this week we're giving you a peek inside! In a small church, being capable can get you into trouble because when you can do a little bit of everything, it's easy to end up doing it all. In this session, Charmaine Stulp helps us get more intentional about where we invest our time, strengths, and influence.Listen in for:➡️ How to recognize your own sweet spots➡️ The difference between something you can do and something that's really yours to do➡️ What others may be able to do just as well as you➡️ Why stepping back can sometimes be a really good ministry decision➡️ Where your time and strengths can make the greatest differenceCONNECT WITH CHAMAINE STULPwww.ditchdaffodil.comRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

What if reaching women has a lot less to do with getting them to our activities and a lot more to do with how we walk alongside them? In this conversation with Dee Bryce, we’re rethinking women’s ministry, invitations, growth, and even what it means to minister to someone when every woman doesn’t need the same thing. Because sometimes the ministry really is in the conversation.Listen in for:➡️ The difference between recruiting women and actually reaching them➡️ Why every woman doesn’t need another event, invitation, prayer moment, or push to participate➡️ What changes when we walk alongside women instead of assuming we know what they need➡️ Why growth can look very different from woman to woman➡️ How ordinary conversations can become some of our most meaningful ministryCONNECT WITH DEE BRYCEwww.flourishwomentoday.comRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

What do you do when the difficult person is sitting three chairs down at Bible study... or leading it? Church relationships can get especially confusing when you add in grace, forgiveness, patience, keeping the peace, and that little voice that says, Good Christian women don’t make trouble. In this conversation with Jennifer Y. Afriyie, we’re talking about what happens when women hurt women in church, why we sometimes put up with more than we should, and how we can have compassion without giving away our agency.Listen in for:Strong personality, difficult behavior, or bullying? They’re not all the same.When difficult or disappointing crosses the line into destructiveWhy church can make bad behavior weirdly hard to deal withWhy strong, giving, forgiving women sometimes stay in unhealthy situationsHow we can be kind, compassionate AND still say, “That’s not okay.”CONNECT WITH JENNIFER Y. AFRIYIEwww.jyaspeaks.comRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

What if there’s more going on beneath the surface than we realize? In this conversation with Dr. Amy Oberg, we’re talking mental health, hormones, rest, relationships, and why understanding our brains and bodies actually belongs in conversations about faith. And yes, we’re going there with some of the things the church has gotten wrong along the way.Listen in for:Why mental health belongs in the conversation for ALL of usBrain, body and spirit, and what happens when we separate pieces that were meant to work togetherThe wild reality of women’s hormones, emotions, bodies, and seasonsWhy Amy says churches need mental health literacy, not mental health clinicsWhat can change when we get curious, slow down, and actually listen to peopleCONNECT WITH DR. AMY OBERGhttps://www.amyoberg.com/draoRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

Women are woven through almost every part of small-church ministry, and some of their biggest influence happens in relationships, not official roles. But while churches invest in ministry ideas and practical skills, we often assume the human side of ministry will just come naturally. What if that's something we can get better at too?Listen in for:➡️ Why the ministry of women is much bigger than Women's Ministry➡️ The relational influence that never shows up on a ministry list➡️ Why good intentions don't automatically create healthy influence➡️ What CONTEXT, SELF, and PEOPLE have to do with developing women, not just ministry skills➡️ Why developing women should matter to the whole churchRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence

After years of equipping small churches with practical ideas, my thinking has shifted. Great ministry ideas matter, but they’re only one part of equipping small-church leaders and volunteers with what they need to lead well, develop people, and build healthier churches.Listen in for: ➡️ Why I’m officially resigning as the “Idea Girl” for small churches➡️ What’s changed in how I think about equipping small-church leaders and volunteers➡️ The four areas I believe we need to get better at➡️ Why understanding ourselves and other people belongs in ministry training➡️ What this shift means for Small Church Ministry going forwardRESOURCES MENTIONEDJoin the Everyday InfluenceJoin our free Facebook CommunitySupport the showSUBSCRIBE & REVIEWIf you loved this episode, please take a moment to subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts! Your support helps us reach more people -- just like you -- in small churches who need to hear this.🎙 Thanks for tuning in to Small Church Ministry Podcast! See you next week!FOLLOW US:➡️  Website: smallchurchministry.com➡️  Instagram: instagram.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Facebook: facebook.com/smallchurchministry➡️  Creative Solutions for Small Churches Facebook Community: facebook.com/groups/smallchurchministry➡️  Everyday Influence: smallchurchministry.com/influence