Sex isn't Dirty: Releasing Conditioned Sexual Shame

54 | It's important to go inwards and tune in to all the messages we tell ourselves about sex. It's even more important to understand further where these messages have stemmed from; this is how we question our conditioning. Often, these messages come from external factors such as society, our upbringing-- what our parents, teachers, or anyone else who has influenced us have told us. All of these things impact how we relate to ourselves. In this episode, I want to break down and explore common messages that we have possibly received growing up about sex, pleasure, and masturbation. I explain how they could be affecting us, conditioning us, and holding us back from experiencing deep pleasure. In this episode, you'll learn: •Exploring the messages that we received growing up •Why you should be changing up your masturbation routine •Rewiring what sex means to you •The degrading messages we have received about liking sex •How to start peeling back the layers of conditioning This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources - Please note: EMBODIED is now closed To work with me 1:1 head to eleanorhadley.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

53 | The world of BDSM is very raw, honest and there are alot of common misconceptions. When it comes to sexual expression, I believe it can be powerful and healing. Peeling back all those layers is never a sweet and vanilla experience though, it means we have to let go of any shame, conditioning, or judgment. If you're here, you're probably curious to know more a bit more about it, and you're in luck because today's guest is going to break down the BDSM 101 for us. Erin Kyna is a trauma-informed sexuality healer and coach; it is her pleasure and honor to guide women worldwide to embody their inner goddess and their highest potential in all areas of life, including their sexual potential. In this episode, Erin and I spoke all about what BDSM actually is, the healing potential that it holds, how to get started exploring the world of BDSM and consensual kink, and so much more. I encourage you to tune into this episode with an open mind. In this episode, you'll learn: •What BDSM Stands for •The difference in terminology •Common misconceptions •Power dynamics: dominant and submissive roles •What we can learn from the BDSM Community This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources - Please note: EMBODIED is now closed For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Erin's Website: https://erinkyna.com/ Connect with Erin on IG: @erinkyna FetLife is the Social Network for the BDSM, Fetish & Kinky Community: https://fetlife.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

52 | When I had my first astrology reading, I was absolutely blown away-- It was the beginning of a spiritual and energetic self-discovery journey. Later on, I discovered Human Design, and things started to shift dramatically for me. Understanding your unique human design gives you insight into your life's purpose. It can improve the way you make decisions, how you show up in your personal/professional life, and guide you into living a more impactful life. Today's Guest Chrissy Roil is a life design coach, igniting women to the Soulstress within. She really gets a kick out of seeing women walking this earth fully expressed, expansive and radiant AF. Guiding experiences of soul led and aligned embodiment, Chrissy reminds us where to look... within. She sparks women to stop looking outside of themselves and playing by the one size fits all rule book. She illuminates and ignites women to their soul's purpose through her signature process, pathway to purpose, weaving in the magic of human design and embodied soul guidance. In this episode, Chrissy will explain what human design is, the different energy types, and how understanding your unique spiritual blueprint can help you live your life by design instead of default. In this episode, you'll learn: •The different H.D energy types and what they mean •Common limiting beliefs for each human design •What is your authority? •Energy Centres •Understanding your spiritual blueprint This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources - Please note: EMBODIED is now closed For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Chrissy's Website: https://www.chrissyroil.com/ Connect with Chrissy on IG: @chrissyroil --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

51 | When we first fall in love, we have a biochemical reaction. There's an increase in dopamine, to the point we almost feel intoxicated. It's like drug addiction. We've all been there when we meet someone and suddenly feel starry-eyed and infatuated. We place that person on a pedestal, but this comes from a place of limerence. In this episode, I'll be diving into all things love, lust, and limerence. I'll be sharing all about why we experience limerence, how to recognise the signs, and how to tune into your body to understand these biochemical reactions so you can maintain healthy relationships with yourself and your lovers. In this episode, you'll learn: •What Limerence is •Tuning in to your definition of 'love. •Sign of being in 'limerence' •Addictions, fantasies, and starry eyes •Questions to ask yourself for lust and love awareness This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

50 | Compulsory heterosexuality has been ingrained into us since we were born. Although more conversations around bisexuality and everything else outside of what society deems as 'normal' have recently begun to open up, much of our conditioning comes into play when we're even starting to question and allow ourselves to explore our sexuality. Today's guest Anna is a Russian-born Australian author and a passionate bi-plus activist based in Sydney. Anna is the author of soon-to-be released book, Bi & Prejudice, which explores multi-sexual attraction, human diversity, and mental health. In this episode, we speak about the stereotypes often associated with bisexuality, the differences between how bi men and women are perceived, the endless labels and their importance, the rise in representation, and so much more. In this episode, you'll learn: •Anna's experience with coming out later in life •The impact of representation •Bisexuality & stereotypes •Should we be identifying with labels? •The conditioning received about differences in sexuality This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Bi & Prejudice IG: https://www.instagram.com/biandprejudice/ Buy the book: https://www.debutbooks.com.au/bookstore/p/bi-prejudice-by-anna-kochetkova Disclosure documentary about trans representation in media: https://www.disclosurethemovie.com/about --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

49 | Far too often, as a result of capitalism, we measure our worth by output metrics. How much did you do today? What have you produced? What tangible things have you contributed to society? How much money have you made doing that? After spending most of my life absolutely beating myself up for being what I labeled as lazy and inconsistent and forever trying to be more productive. I'm proud to say that I no longer identify with being productive. In this episode, we explore the fallacy of consistency. We've been conditioned to think that consistency is super important to living a good, productive life. I'll break down exactly why I no longer strive to be 'productive' and instead how to live more in tune with the phases of your cycle. I hope that all people who menstruate can learn more about their cycles to relax more into their natural rhythms. In this episode, you'll learn: •Why I don't believe in ''consistency.'' •The metrics I now measure my life by •The 4 phases of the female menstrual cycle •How the male and female hormonal changes are different •How to tune into the magical messages that your body sends you each month This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Know Your Yoni: Natural Birth Control: https://www.eleanorhadley.com/podcast/18 Book: Invisible woman: ​​https://www.booktopia.com.au/invisible-women --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

48 | If you're listening to this podcast, then chances are you have a vulva, or you have sex with people with vulvas. Unfortunately, for many people with vulvas, sex can tend to be more painful than pleasurable. One in three women will experience pain during sex, while up to 17% (one in ten women) will be diagnosed with a related condition called Vaginismus. Women's pain is notoriously undervalued in the medical field, and anything to do with women's sexual function is seen as unimportant. Today's guest Leah Tassios experienced first-hand the incredibly isolating, confusing, and painful condition. After many referrals, specialist appointments, and awkward conversations, Leah was eventually diagnosed with secondary Vaginismus. After several months of struggling to navigate treatment options, Leah overcame her condition and once again enjoyed pain-free sex. She has now developed a mobile app designed to guide and support users through their own experience with Vaginismus. If you've experienced any unwanted pain during sex yourself or had a partner express that they've been in pain, this episode is essential listening. In this episode, you'll learn: •What is Vaginismus, and how to know if you have it •The causes of Vaginismus •What treatment options are available •The correlation between PCOS, Endometriosis & Vaginismus •The journey to recovery and more comfortable sex This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Vaginismus Article: https://thenewdaily.com.au/life/wellbeing/2021/07/03/vaginismus-womens-health/ Gina App Instagram: https://instagram.com/gina_app_?utm_medium=copy_link GINA App: https://ginaapp.com/app --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

47 | Have you ever had really delicious sex only to feel disconnected, disappointed, or even just straight up disrespected afterward? Maybe your lover got up straight away, to leave or to do something else. Perhaps they rolled over and went to sleep without saying a word to you or just grabbed their phone and started scrolling. Any of those things sound familiar? If you've experienced these feelings or had a partner behave like this, you need aftercare. Aftercare is the ways in which you continue the connection with one another post-sex to ensure that everyone feels respected. It is essentially any behavior that makes you feel respected, connected, and close with your lover. It's a way to soothe your nervous system after some intense sex or just some connection to come back down slowly coming back to real life. In this episode, I dive into all things aftercare. I share the do's, don'ts, and some ideas/top tips that came through from my IG community. In this episode, you'll learn: •What is aftercare •The importance of aftercare •Romance vs intimacy •Post sex do's and don'ts •The top aftercare tips from my community This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com How to Talk About Sex with Your: Partner https://www.eleanorhadley.com/podcast/27 The Ultimate Conversation Starter for Better Sex: https://www.eleanorhadley.com/podcast/15 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

46 | For many of us, especially those who identify as women or vulva owners, our arousal doesn't get sparked simply by the visual. It's the tease, the setup, the anticipation that gets us going to be intellectually stimulated. Enter erotica, but not as you know it. I'm so excited in this episode to introduce you to Carly Pifer, founder and editor in chief of Aurore. Aurore is a modern literary erotica site that shares real sex stories written by women and queer people. Aurore is designed to turn you on and help others get turned on through sharing true stories of people's sexual experiences. Aurore is an inclusive feminist space for modern, relatable, and honest erotica. Carly works one-on-one with the writers to draw out their most intimate experiences through a cathartic, enlightening process that is so much fun to read. In this episode, we explore the fascinating origin story of Aurore, the difference between reading and watching porn, the importance of long-form erotica, the therapeutic benefit of writing your own stories, how reading other's experiences can enhance your own, and so much more. In this episode, you'll learn: •Origin Story of Aurore •Reading real stories & questioning your conditioning •How Aurore is different from visual porn •Enhancing your own experience through Aurore This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email at [email protected] or over on Instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Read Aurore: https://readaurore.com/ Aurore Eroitca IG @readaurore --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message

45 | Labiaplasty has been one of the fastest-growing medical procedures for about two decades now. Despite the abundance of surgeons performing this procedure, detailed clitoral anatomy has been missing from most medical textbooks. My guest today, Jessica Pin is an activist for the inclusion of detailed clitoral anatomy and medical literature and curriculum. Jessica has successfully convinced nine major medical textbooks to update their content and 11 more to consider updates. She has also published a cadaveric study with plastic surgeons, convinced OBGYNSs to publish a cadaveric study and effected changes in the OBGYN's board certification and residency curriculum in the States. In today's episode, we explore the medical misogyny and the ambivalence of medical institutions regarding vulva anatomy, specifically, the absence of detailed clitoral anatomy in the medical literature. For anyone listening who may have been considering labiaplasty, I hope this episode provides you with a new perspective; this is not to convince you otherwise but rather to offer you insight. If you, or anyone you know has had some shame or discomfort around their vulva. I highly recommend checking out my friends website: www.comfortableinmyskincom.au In this episode, you'll learn: •Jessica's story and what brought her into this type of work •Why labiaplasty is one of the fastest growing procedures •How removing parts of the labia can cause danger to your sexual function •How Jessica has successfully convinced nine major medical textbooks to update their content and 11 more to consider updates. This podcast is for YOU, so if you ever have any questions you'd like me to answer on the show, or topics you'd like me to cover - reach out to me on email here or over on instagram @eleanorhadley Links and Resources: For courses and 1:1 coaching, head to eleanorhadley.com Jessica's Instagram: https://instagram.com/jessica_ann_pin --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sex-etc/message