Are You Leading or Just Reacting?

“I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize myself.”“How did I become this version of me?”“Is my marriage dead… or just dormant?”When a relationship breaks down—or you find yourself in a season of emotional numbness—it’s easy to blame the other person, the marriage, or even life itself. But this episode invites a deeper question: Who have you become… and who are you meant to be?In this powerful and grounding conversation, we unpack:How stress, fear, and emotional survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) distort our true identityWhat it means to enter Season Four—a sacred time of dormancy, reflection, and personal rebirthWhy spiritual growth can’t happen while you’re pretending everything’s fineHow to place your struggling relationship “on the altar” while becoming your best selfWhat Christ’s example of being “unshaken” in Gethsemane teaches us about identity in hard seasonsThis episode isn’t about fixing your marriage overnight—it’s about becoming someone who can walk back into a relationship with clarity, strength, and peace.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-battle-of-perspectives-laman-nephi-and-the-power-of-faith/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybqzJ039vw4&t=5s⁠Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why does she still feel unsafe—even when I do what she says?”“Why do I feel attacked when she disagrees?”“What’s the difference between reacting and actually leading?”In this episode, we confront a hard truth for many men: doing what your wife says doesn’t build trust—leading with purpose does. If you're feeling unsure, aimless, or overly sensitive to disagreement, this conversation will challenge and equip you.Inside, you’ll learn:Why following your wife’s words isn’t the same as taking her seriouslyHow to respond with spiritual authority rather than people-pleasingThe truth about being “psychologically lazy” at home—and how to fix itWhy your wife watches how you adapt your goals, not just whether you complete themHow confidence, spiritual purpose, and consistency build emotional safetyWe’ll also explore how misinterpreting your wife’s strength leads to confusion—and how embracing your stewardship can restore clarity, direction, and unity.This episode is a wake-up call for any man who wants to be more than a passive partner. It’s time to lead with wisdom—not just reaction.Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/reacting-to-toxic-people/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWJ3rS21Hmw&t=1sCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“What if I don’t remember what I felt back then?”“What if she asks a question I’m not ready to answer?”“What if I say something wrong and it comes back years later?”This episode tackles one of the most terrifying moments in a man's healing journey: being caught off guard by a question he should have an answer to—but doesn’t. When your wife brings up something from years ago, and you can’t recall your thoughts, feelings, or even the situation… what do you do?Inside this episode:The “Rough Draft Protocol” that protects both of you from jumping to conclusions too fastWhy writing things down—even when you don’t understand them—can be a spiritual disciplineHow to include God in your reflection so you don’t avoid the hard stuffThe danger of saying anything while emotionally or chemically compromisedWhy women often cling to old words—and how to avoid making haunting statementsWhat consistency in your spiritual habits tells her (even more than your words)This episode is not about being perfect. It’s about being intentional—even when your memory fails you, your confidence falters, or your timing is off. It’s about growing into a man who wants to get it right, and is learning how.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-chemical-scale/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIGKTWRqqvQ&t=5sCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why is she asking about something from five years ago?”“Why does she want to talk about something I barely remember?”“Why won’t she just drop it?”If these questions echo in your mind during hard conversations with your wife, you’re not alone. This episode tackles the psychological and spiritual disconnect men often feel when their wives want to revisit confusing or distant emotional topics—and why engaging anyway may be the most loving thing you ever do.Inside this episode:Why her questions might not be about fear—or betrayal at allHow emotional intimacy works differently for her than it does for youWhat it means to be “doing it right when it doesn’t make sense”Why shutting down, avoiding, or saying “I don’t remember” causes more damage than you thinkHow to use DARs (Divine-Assisted Reflection) to uncover what you didn’t even realize was going on back thenHow staying connected—even in discomfort—is an act of strength, not weaknessIf you want to stop being defensive and start being dependable—especially when you're confused, embarrassed, or unsure—this episode is for you.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-chemical-scale/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znVmbVCdVdsCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why does she keep asking questions about things I barely remember?”“Why does she want to know every little detail from years ago?”“Haven’t I already told her enough?”If you’ve ever felt exhausted or confused by your wife’s need for details, this episode will change how you see her questions—and how you see emotional intimacy.In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, Maurice and the group explore:Why your wife’s need for information isn’t always about betrayalHow trauma, fear, and connection each drive different kinds of questionsWhy being available for the conversation matters more than the answers themselvesThe emotional parallel between a wife’s desire to “see inside your life” and a husband’s desire for physical closenessWhy details are not just facts—they are shared experiencesWhat to do when she’s overwhelmed one day and asking deep questions the nextThis episode offers a powerful reframing: her questions aren’t about interrogation—they’re about intimacy. And when you handle them with patience and curiosity, it builds the trust you’ve both been starving for.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/make-a-record-of-your-proceedings/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpSepSlsOo8Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I feel like I’m still being lied to—even when he says he’s being honest?”“Why do I need so many details to feel safe?”“Why does he think saying ‘I didn’t lie’ is enough?”In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we explore one of the most misunderstood pillars of healing: radical honesty. But not the kind of “honesty” that just checks a box or avoids technical lies.We’re talking about a whole new level of masculine responsibility:➡️ The transfer of accurate information➡️ The intentional sharing of details she needs (not just the ones you’re comfortable with)➡️ The difference between honesty and transparency➡️ Why “I didn’t lie” is a dangerous excuse➡️ How to use daily reflection tools (like DARs) to create trust➡️ Why women feel unsafe when information is vague, generalized, or withheld—even by accidentAnd for those struggling with memory loss, disclosure fears, or wondering if there's a “statute of limitations” on what must be shared—this conversation is filled with grace and clarity.If you’ve ever felt like you were being open, but she still didn’t feel safe, this episode explains why—and what to do about it.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/embracing-our-divine-sexual-nature/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKjJtzTrk74Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I feel guilty for overreacting?”“What if I misjudge him—but still don’t feel safe?”In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we address a struggle many women face in emotionally unpredictable relationships: the fear of doing "too much" to stay safe. You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. And you don’t need to apologize for choosing the storm cellar when the sky darkens.You’ll learn:Why the instinct to act fast matters more than being rightHow to recognize when you’re thinking instead of moving—and why that’s dangerousWhat it means when he gets upset that you “ran away”Why a caring man supports your safety plan, even when it’s earlyHow to honor courageous hope without ignoring red flagsThe secret to acting with faith without feeling stupid laterWhy journaling your decisions can protect your peace—and your future choicesPlus, you’ll hear a vivid story that compares emotional safety to tornado drills—and what it really means when the alarm doesn’t go off in time.If you’re tired of wondering whether it’s “bad enough” to run… this episode gives you permission to stop waiting for proof. Your safety doesn’t need to be justified.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/deals-a-formula-for-happiness/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKG5Tpv7aPECheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why does it feel unsafe when I share first?”“Why can’t I trust his goals if I helped shape them?”This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher uncovers a subtle but powerful truth:👉 If you lead the conversation, you can’t trust the result.When you go first, especially in emotional or goal-setting conversations, you might think you’re being helpful or kind—but what you're really doing is handing him a script to mimic. And then you're left wondering: Is this who he really is? Or just who I said I needed him to be?This episode dives into:Why real cognitive intimacy starts with observation, not contributionThe danger of sharing your goals before he’s revealed hisHow “going first” robs you of accurate dataWhy men sometimes disguise passivity as chivalry (“You go first, my lady…”)How to treat his words like a weather report, not a negotiationA powerful tornado story from guest Markel Brown that illustrates why you must act fast when danger strikes—even if no one sounds the alarmWhat it really means to prepare a safety plan instead of hoping he changesThis is a wake-up call for women who feel confused, unsafe, or exhausted from carrying the emotional load. You don’t need to fix him. You need to see him—clearly, without interference.Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair-and-applying-the-first-three-of-the-12-steps/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N8_vssS_iw&t=3sCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why isn’t he taking me seriously until I finally step away?”“Why does trying to ‘connect’ just leave me more hurt?”In this powerful episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we dig into the hard truth: you can’t rebuild intimacy while you’re still bleeding. And your relationship can’t grow if it’s stuck in survival mode.We explore:Why emotional safety must come before emotional connectionWhat it means to build your own raft—and why that scares so many womenHow unresolved pain contaminates your attempt at intimacyWhy stepping away often leads to the biggest breakthroughsHow to know when it’s time to court again—or heal aloneWhat a real greenhouse of intimacy looks like—and why it matters who brings the four-wheelerYou’ll also hear from special guest Markel Brown, director of the Worth Group, as she shares a deeply personal analogy that will reframe how you view emotional separation and strength.This episode isn’t just for women trying to hold on—it’s for those ready to stand up, heal deep, and check whether he’s actually ready to build with you.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/dyslexia/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5TV_7b7sHsCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I feel so anxious when he makes bad decisions?”“Why do I keep trying to control him even though I don’t want to?”This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher gives you the answer—and a surprisingly freeing solution.If you’ve felt that everything he does affects your peace, it’s probably because you’re still emotionally sitting in the same life raft. His bad plans, his good intentions gone wrong, his risky thinking—they all feel like threats, because they are. You're in his boat. But what if you weren’t?This episode teaches a powerful concept: emotional and cognitive intimacy can’t grow inside the same raft. You need your own—your own stability, your own direction, your own emotional oxygen. Only then can you connect without anxiety, pressure, or panic.You'll learn:Why staying in his raft destroys intimacy and triggers controlHow to build your own raft (pioneer woman mode) so you can feel safe againHow to tell if and when it’s time to tie rafts together—and what that really looks likeWhat to say (and not say) when his plans scare youWhy anxiety isn’t always a flaw—it might be your survival system sounding the alarmHow trust and collaboration actually come after separation and self-relianceIf you’ve been trying to fix, manage, or convince him to get on the same page, this episode might be the mind-blowing shift you’ve been waiting for.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/embracing-our-divine-sexual-nature/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yEKqzdijeQCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/