Why Isn’t Honesty Enough?

“Why do I feel like I’m still being lied to—even when he says he’s being honest?”“Why do I need so many details to feel safe?”“Why does he think saying ‘I didn’t lie’ is enough?”In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we explore one of the most misunderstood pillars of healing: radical honesty. But not the kind of “honesty” that just checks a box or avoids technical lies.We’re talking about a whole new level of masculine responsibility:➡️ The transfer of accurate information➡️ The intentional sharing of details she needs (not just the ones you’re comfortable with)➡️ The difference between honesty and transparency➡️ Why “I didn’t lie” is a dangerous excuse➡️ How to use daily reflection tools (like DARs) to create trust➡️ Why women feel unsafe when information is vague, generalized, or withheld—even by accidentAnd for those struggling with memory loss, disclosure fears, or wondering if there's a “statute of limitations” on what must be shared—this conversation is filled with grace and clarity.If you’ve ever felt like you were being open, but she still didn’t feel safe, this episode explains why—and what to do about it.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/embracing-our-divine-sexual-nature/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKjJtzTrk74Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I feel guilty for overreacting?”“What if I misjudge him—but still don’t feel safe?”In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we address a struggle many women face in emotionally unpredictable relationships: the fear of doing "too much" to stay safe. You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. And you don’t need to apologize for choosing the storm cellar when the sky darkens.You’ll learn:Why the instinct to act fast matters more than being rightHow to recognize when you’re thinking instead of moving—and why that’s dangerousWhat it means when he gets upset that you “ran away”Why a caring man supports your safety plan, even when it’s earlyHow to honor courageous hope without ignoring red flagsThe secret to acting with faith without feeling stupid laterWhy journaling your decisions can protect your peace—and your future choicesPlus, you’ll hear a vivid story that compares emotional safety to tornado drills—and what it really means when the alarm doesn’t go off in time.If you’re tired of wondering whether it’s “bad enough” to run… this episode gives you permission to stop waiting for proof. Your safety doesn’t need to be justified.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/deals-a-formula-for-happiness/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKG5Tpv7aPECheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why does it feel unsafe when I share first?”“Why can’t I trust his goals if I helped shape them?”This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher uncovers a subtle but powerful truth:👉 If you lead the conversation, you can’t trust the result.When you go first, especially in emotional or goal-setting conversations, you might think you’re being helpful or kind—but what you're really doing is handing him a script to mimic. And then you're left wondering: Is this who he really is? Or just who I said I needed him to be?This episode dives into:Why real cognitive intimacy starts with observation, not contributionThe danger of sharing your goals before he’s revealed hisHow “going first” robs you of accurate dataWhy men sometimes disguise passivity as chivalry (“You go first, my lady…”)How to treat his words like a weather report, not a negotiationA powerful tornado story from guest Markel Brown that illustrates why you must act fast when danger strikes—even if no one sounds the alarmWhat it really means to prepare a safety plan instead of hoping he changesThis is a wake-up call for women who feel confused, unsafe, or exhausted from carrying the emotional load. You don’t need to fix him. You need to see him—clearly, without interference.Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair-and-applying-the-first-three-of-the-12-steps/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N8_vssS_iw&t=3sCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why isn’t he taking me seriously until I finally step away?”“Why does trying to ‘connect’ just leave me more hurt?”In this powerful episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we dig into the hard truth: you can’t rebuild intimacy while you’re still bleeding. And your relationship can’t grow if it’s stuck in survival mode.We explore:Why emotional safety must come before emotional connectionWhat it means to build your own raft—and why that scares so many womenHow unresolved pain contaminates your attempt at intimacyWhy stepping away often leads to the biggest breakthroughsHow to know when it’s time to court again—or heal aloneWhat a real greenhouse of intimacy looks like—and why it matters who brings the four-wheelerYou’ll also hear from special guest Markel Brown, director of the Worth Group, as she shares a deeply personal analogy that will reframe how you view emotional separation and strength.This episode isn’t just for women trying to hold on—it’s for those ready to stand up, heal deep, and check whether he’s actually ready to build with you.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/dyslexia/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5TV_7b7sHsCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I feel so anxious when he makes bad decisions?”“Why do I keep trying to control him even though I don’t want to?”This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher gives you the answer—and a surprisingly freeing solution.If you’ve felt that everything he does affects your peace, it’s probably because you’re still emotionally sitting in the same life raft. His bad plans, his good intentions gone wrong, his risky thinking—they all feel like threats, because they are. You're in his boat. But what if you weren’t?This episode teaches a powerful concept: emotional and cognitive intimacy can’t grow inside the same raft. You need your own—your own stability, your own direction, your own emotional oxygen. Only then can you connect without anxiety, pressure, or panic.You'll learn:Why staying in his raft destroys intimacy and triggers controlHow to build your own raft (pioneer woman mode) so you can feel safe againHow to tell if and when it’s time to tie rafts together—and what that really looks likeWhat to say (and not say) when his plans scare youWhy anxiety isn’t always a flaw—it might be your survival system sounding the alarmHow trust and collaboration actually come after separation and self-relianceIf you’ve been trying to fix, manage, or convince him to get on the same page, this episode might be the mind-blowing shift you’ve been waiting for.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/embracing-our-divine-sexual-nature/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yEKqzdijeQCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“He said he agreed… but did he really?”“How do I know if we’re truly aligned—or just coexisting?”In this eye-opening episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we unpack one of the most common (and dangerous) relationship assumptions: thinking you’re on the same page just because he nodded.Whether you’re dating, married, or decades into a relationship, you may be missing the signs that real cognitive intimacy is missing. Learn how to protect your psychological security—not by lecturing, pleading, or guessing—but by discovering the truth with one powerful tool: the Weather Check.You'll learn:Why a simple nod doesn’t always mean agreement—and what it could actually meanThe difference between hoping for alignment and confirming itThe dangers of trying to “mother” someone into having ambitionHow to ask second-date-style questions that reveal true goals, values, and plansHow to find out what kind of man you’re actually in the raft with—before it sinksThe life-saving mindset shift that helps you stop assuming and start discerningThis episode is raw, real, and built to help you stop guessing and start growing in truth—whether you’re years into a relationship or just realizing you're still not aligned.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/using-the-pattern-for-growth-to-fine-tune-the-agile-checklist-for-becoming-better-husbands/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97Dhfk3DhRk&t=1sCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“How do I schedule spiritual habits when every day is chaos?”“Why does planning always feel like I’m setting myself up to fail?”This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher tackles the real-life struggle of trying to stay spiritually grounded when life is anything but consistent. Whether your house is filled with toddlers, noise, distractions—or just plain unpredictability—this episode introduces a better way forward.You’ll learn:How to use the SHE-PWR or MAN-PWR system to create realistic routinesWhy sticker rewards, gel pens, and chocolate chips might be your new spiritual tracking toolsThe difference between consistency and wisdom-based continuityHow to plan power sessions that actually match your life—not someone else’sWhat counts as writing, reading, prayer, and service when every moment feels crunchedHow even a 3-second “knuckle-bump” prayer or a goofy compliment can count as real spiritual winsYou don’t need perfection. You need a plan that makes room for being human—and this episode shows you how to start.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/overriding-fear-in-marriage-repair/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XfXByOTumQCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I fall off track—no matter how hard I try?”“Why can’t I just be consistent like other people?”If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing simply because you can’t follow a rigid routine or daily checklist, this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher is for you.You’ll discover:Why expecting consistency is often the wrong goal—and what to aim for insteadThe truth about spiritual and emotional progress in real-life, chaotic schedulesWhat “continuity” is—and how it’s a more sustainable, flexible mindsetWhy Satan steps up his attacks the moment you start tryingHow to plan your next power session without guilt, shame, or perfectionismHow simply showing up to your planning session can be a spiritual winThis episode will challenge your expectations while giving you a much more livable way forward—especially if your life is full of surprises, messes, or tiny humans. You don’t need perfection to grow. You need continuity, grace, and the courage to try again.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/adhd-blog-comorbidities/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwGNuY6nNAgCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I always lose momentum—even when I start strong?”“Why is it so hard to build daily spiritual habits that actually last?”In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we dig into one of the most frustrating challenges of self-mastery: consistency. If you’ve ever felt discouraged because you keep starting over… or felt like your efforts to be “nice,” “spiritual,” or “intentional” are too small to matter—this one is for you.You’ll learn:Why Satan attacks your momentum with shame and perfectionismThe difference between “accidental kindness” and intentional serviceWhat the daily MAN-PWR and SHE-PWR systems really mean—and how to use them without burnoutHow to track your growth with the Progress Calendar (and why missing a day isn’t failure—it’s feedback)How tiny, silly, even weird acts of goodness are more powerful than you thinkThis episode combines powerful spiritual tools with down-to-earth humor and real talk. If you’re tired of giving up after a few days or feeling like it doesn’t count unless it’s perfect, this is your call to start small—and keep going.Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/our-support-system/Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3q9DzvCP_ICheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

“Why do I keep falling back into the same patterns—even when I know what to do?”“Why does progress feel so lonely, frustrating, and fragile?”This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher dives straight into one of the most overlooked reasons people stay stuck—isolation masked as independence.You’ll learn:Why real spiritual and emotional strength isn’t about going it aloneHow Satan weaponizes loneliness—even in the faithfulWhy interdependence is not codependence (and what that actually looks like)How to start building a personal cohort—a Christ-centered team to fight with, grow with, and rise withWhat daily brain workouts like M-A-N-P-W-R and P-W-R can do for your spiritual momentumWhy your “half-eaten chicken” offering is exactly what someone else needsWhether you're burned out from trying to fix everything by yourself, or watching a loved one stay stuck in their own wilderness, this episode brings both challenge and comfort.You’re not supposed to do this alone. And you’re not as far from miracles as you think.Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/product/heal-my-broken-heart-an-lds-guide-to-dealing-with-those-bound-by-the-deadly-sin-of-pornography/Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ohQCiqAEzM&t=5sCheck out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/