“Why does it feel unsafe when I share first?”
“Why can’t I trust his goals if I helped shape them?”
This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher uncovers a subtle but powerful truth:
👉 If you lead the conversation, you can’t trust the result.
When you go first, especially in emotional or goal-setting conversations, you might think you’re being helpful or kind—but what you're really doing is handing him a script to mimic. And then you're left wondering: Is this who he really is? Or just who I said I needed him to be?
This episode dives into:
Why real cognitive intimacy starts with observation, not contribution
The danger of sharing your goals before he’s revealed his
How “going first” robs you of accurate data
Why men sometimes disguise passivity as chivalry (“You go first, my lady…”)
How to treat his words like a weather report, not a negotiation
A powerful tornado story from guest Markel Brown that illustrates why you must act fast when danger strikes—even if no one sounds the alarm
What it really means to prepare a safety plan instead of hoping he changes
This is a wake-up call for women who feel confused, unsafe, or exhausted from carrying the emotional load. You don’t need to fix him. You need to see him—clearly, without interference.
Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair-and-applying-the-first-three-of-the-12-steps/
Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N8_vssS_iw&t=3s
Check out Life Changing Services: https://www.lifechangingservices.org/
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