Ep 204: Secure as F*ck: 5 Dating Don'ts Secure Women NEVER Do

We know her, we love her, and we are THRILLED to have her back…everyone please welcome Abigail Elizabeth, business owner, badass mother of two, and an overall gem of a human being. Abigail was on just a few months ago to chat about her experience doing the work and attending my retreats, and now she’s back to tell us how her life has continued to shift and change since.  It can be easy to start out strong when you’re doing the work…then start to fall off the wagon after some time has gone by. But Abigail is an amazing example of what doing the work long-term looks like: the ups and downs, the payoff, and the incredible ripple effects that can transform the lives of your entire family. You’re not JUST doing the work for you, babe. This can stop the generational trauma train, last stop YOU—and Abigail’s going to tell us how.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Your skincare routine? Precise. Your career? Thriving. Your friendships? Healthy. Your wardrobe? Curated. Your dating life? FUCKED. What tf happened there, exactly? You have top-notch standards for every single area of your life…but for some reason, you’re tolerating all kinds of bullshit when it comes to dating. Not anymore. Sit down, strap in, and get ready to set—and HOLD—some actual fucking standards instead of giving someone a dozen chances to meet them when we both know they’re never going to. (But it’s so nice to get to blame them when it doesn’t work out yet again, isn’t it?) Nothing’s going to change before you do. Let’s get to work.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Let me see if I’ve got this right: You’re chatting with this man, and he’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of. His answers are thought-provoking and emotionally intelligent. He asks questions back. He always has the perfect response…like, always. Every fucking time. And that’s not even a little suspicious to you?  Odds are, you haven’t stumbled upon your soulmate, babe—you’ve just fallen in love with ChatGPT.  AI is ruining and revolutionizing dating at the same time. Yes, it makes it incredibly easy to put together an intriguing bio or craft the perfect response…but at the cost of true authenticity + actual connection. Now, AI isn’t the enemy here—in fact, there are some really fucking amazing ways you cna use AI to uplevel your dating game without pulling some manipulative bullshit. But it’s a fine line to walk, and most people don’t take the kind of caution they need to take. Let’s talk about the importance of discernment in dating…especially when it comes to AI use. There’s more than one way to end up catfished. (Or, shall we say…CHAT-fished?)   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

So…I did the thing. I am officially back on the dating apps. That’s right, my loves—I’m back in the dating trenches. All the things you’re going through? I’m going through them right along with you. (I figured if I'm releasing a program about dating, it's only fair that I do it alongside you, right?) But as long as I’m here, I’m going to talk about some of the reasons why you might not be having much success with dating. First and foremost, the fact that you’ll go on one date with a man and come home already planning the wedding. It’s great to be excited when you meet someone new. But it’s TOO fucking easy to get swept straight into a full-blown fantasy about who this person is…when in reality, you have no idea who they actually are. “But Michelle, we’re soulmates!” No, you’re STRANGERS. And you need to remember that before you dive too deep into something you don’t even want.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

If you’re racking your brain trying to figure out why you can’t seem to find “the one” for you…sit down a sec. I think I might’ve solved it. So. Your relationships keep failing. You keep attracting emotionally unavailable men. You can’t find someone willing to commit. You can’t track down a secure man. Your dating woes seem to have no fucking end. Now, hear me out on this one… It sounds to me like YOU’RE the fucking problem. No, think about it—what’s the common denominator in all these relationships? Different men, different circumstances, all with the same outcome, and the only consistent factor is—you guessed it—you. “No, Michelle, it’s them!” Are you sure about that? Because I smell bullshit. But the only way to be sure is to take a good, hard look at what you might be doing to contribute, so… Let’s talk about five red flags you might be flying without even realizing it.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

At the very beginning of this year, I went through a pretty devastating breakup. It’s been nearly seven months now, and I haven’t dated at all since then. Not just because I wasn’t going to jump right on the apps after such a difficult breakup—a girl’s gotta process, after all—but because I just didn’t have a desire to date. Now, that’s starting to change. I can feel myself on the verge of being ready to date again…which is super exciting. But it also has me thinking a lot about the way a secure woman approaches dating compared to the way insecure women approach dating, and honestly? We need to talk about this. There are some super common threads I’ve seen among the clients I’ve supported through dating, and I want to help you avoid falling prey to the same. So let’s go over five things secure women NEVER do while dating.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

Unf*ck Your Relationship may be for the girlies (mostly) but this one? This one’s for the boys. Okay, real talk, this podcast is for everyone. (Love you all, proud of you for being here, XOXO.) But today, we are going to be having some guy talk…because we have an actual guy on the podcast. That’s right: the elusive man has appeared on Unf*ck Your Relationships. Everyone please welcome Jack Bohannan! Jack is a certified somatica relationship coach who combines the experiential approach of somatica with elements of the Ideal Parent Figure, or IPF, protocol by Daniel Brown, which is a method developed to treat attachment issues. He supports women in healing their relationships with men and empowers men to relate better to women and themselves. This one’s going to be juuuicy, friends. I can feel it. And don’t worry…I know you’ve got questions for the man in the room. Jack’s going to help us get to the bottom of some of the greatest mysteries surrounding men…and maybe even turn the tables on me a little bit.   WORK WITH JACK: Are you an anxiously attached girly? Struggling to connect with an avoidant partner? Get Jack’s FREE webinar now: polarityunscripted.com/heal  Ready to release old attachment patterns + create happier, healthier connections? Work with Jack: polarityunscripted.com    CONNECT WITH JACK: Connect with Jack on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/polarityunscripted/    WORK WITH MICHELLE:  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com  

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I’ll say it every fucking time I have a guest on the podcast: I am so fucking excited to introduce you all to one of my beautiful clients, Kellie Irene! Kellie has done Awakening Her, The Experience, and my retreats, so she’s been in my world for a while. She absolutely embodies main character energy. She’s bold, courageous, vivacious…I love being around her, and I have to bring her magic into this space so you all can experience it, too. But Kellie didn’t start out this confident. And this is one of the most f*cking impressive “how it started vs. how it’s going” stories you’ll ever hear. But I’ll let Kellie tell the story…   CONNECT WITH KELLIE: Be the first to listen when Kellie launches her podcast, THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS: https://www.instagram.com/thewomanofyourdreamspodcast/  Follow Kellie’s wrestling journey: https://www.instagram.com/iamskylarcruize/  Connect with Kellie: https://www.instagram.com/kellieirenee/    WORK WITH MICHELLE:  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

“I’m too needy. I ask for too much. I’m too emotional.” “I’m not strong enough. I’m not confident enough. I’m not cruisy enough.” Too much AND not enough…all at the same time? Yes, it is possible…and no, you’re not the only one. I see this shit every day in my work. Women who feel simultaneously like they are too much, too needy, too difficult, while also feeling like they aren’t enough to be chosen and cherished.  That pendulum swing? It’s no fucking joke—and until you figure out how to regulate it, you’re going to keep swinging until you’re so dizzy you can’t even think straight. Tired of your too-muchness? Ready to kiss not-enoughness goodbye? Let’s get it done, love.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com

I can’t believe I’m about to say this (well, I actually can) but… WELCOME TO THE 200TH EPISODE OF UNF*CK YOUR RELATIONSHIPS! Fuuuck, has this been a JOURNEY. Most podcasts don’t even break double digits, let alone triple, let alone hit fucking 200. Can I just take a second to brag on myself? Way to go, Michelle. I’m so proud of you. And I’m proud of YOU, my loves; every single one of you that has shown up wanting to do the work. Wanting to learn. Wanting to reconnect to yourself and to others. I see you. I’m so fucking proud of you for being here. You’ve given me the gift of my dream come true…so I want to give something back today. I reached out and asked for your relationship situations you could use a little coaching on, and you all DELIVERED.  Today, we’re playing a little game called TRUTH OR TRIGGER. Let’s see if those stories you’re telling yourself about your relationships are ACTUALLY the truth…or a story your triggers are trying to disguise as the truth.   WORK WITH MICHELLE:  These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening  Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience   CONNECT WITH MICHELLE: Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning Website: http://www.michellepanning.com