121 AuDHD Belonging with Pasha Marlowe

Dr Megan Anna Neff is a neurodivergent therapist and thought leader, who became popular in 2022 with their "Misdiagnosis Monday" series. Their thoughtful content has helped many thousands of AuDHDers and other neurodivergent folks feel seen and understood.Today we talk abouthaving a small business as a neurodivergent person (including PDA at the end)the questions and concerns we have about creating helpful content, and not causing harmhow weird it is to be perceivedConnect with Megan Anna & Neurodivergent Insights:Free Help Me Stay Plan (for SI)Website: neurodivergentinsights.comDivergent Conversations Podcast: www.divergentpod.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/neurodivergent_insights/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NeurodivergentInsightsTVDo Less program for 2026 (starts Jan 15)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Doing less of what's harming you opens up time and energy. You can enjoy that as rest, and if desired, eventually fill it in with what you do want.AuDHDers often need to move at a slower pace, in many ways. Sometimes we then have creative bursts that move fast... but the space comes FIRST!Mentioned in episode:Do Less program for 2026 (starts Jan 15)book, Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison (affiliate link)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pasha joins again to talk about what they've learned in the past two years since last being on the show! We talk about belonging, triggers in relationships, and much more.She also shares the ableism behind the scenes of an autism training from a large (unnamed) org.Mentioned in episode:Pasha's website & LinkedInInstagram @neuroqueercoachTikTok @neuroqueercoachPasha's YouTubeAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Decluttering, organizing, and cleaning my home in a more routine way is having some interesting effects on my perfectionist tendencies! (Plus, perfectionism comes up in the decision-making process; more on that in my interview on A Slob Comes Clean, which I'll link here when it's out.)Specifically, a cleaner space = less decision fatigue = lower cognitive load = more executive function resources for ME!If you want support with that:Decluttering Days free 5-day event (Nov 17-21 2025)Mentioned in episode (Dana K White resources):Free 5-Step Decluttering Process (note it's /five, not /5 at aslobcomesclean.com)A Slob Comes Clean podcast & YouTube channelOrganizing for the Rest of UsDecluttering at the Speed of LifeHow to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind (book links are affiliate links)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dana K White, like me, couldn't find advice that worked for her. So she made it up! And it turns out, it was helpful for many other people too.After writing an anonymous blog about cleaning her overwhelmingly cluttered home, Dana "came out" and started helping others too. Also, many of those people let her know she seems to have ADHD ;)Her explanations have already helped me a lot, and given me hope about a clean home for the first time in ages.We talk about many of the overarching themes/tips in her books (which are linked below)Decluttering Days free 5-day event (Nov 17-21 2025)Connect/Learn more from Dana:Free 5-Step Decluttering Process (note it's /five, not /5 at aslobcomesclean.com)A Slob Comes Clean podcast & YouTube channelOrganizing for the Rest of UsDecluttering at the Speed of LifeHow to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind (book links are affiliate links)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transitions are one of THE things that support the way that productivity shows up for AuDHDers! Transitions don't have to be all about work: play and rest can be transitions too. And sometimes we need transition time into and out of work, play, AND rest!Today I talk in more detail about how long transitions can take for me (routinely 30-60 minutes). If that's true for you, a 20-minute chunk of work (or getting interrupted) isn't going to feel that good compared to the transition time required. (That said, anything goes in burnout recovery!)Anecdotally: AuDHD folks may need more transition time than ADHD or Autistic folks (even though it's often talked about as an autism trait or need). If that's true, it's possible that it's monotropism that leads to higher transition time needs.Note: I misspoke when I said "dares and challenges." They're actually dares and commitments :)Decluttering Days free 5-day event (Nov 17-21 2025)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

PDA is the Persistent Drive for Autonomy (community term), or pathological demand avoidance (clinical & pathologizing term). What happens when PDA, ADHD, and autism all overlap? Well... stress and relationship challenges!Thankfully, everything that helped me feel more safe has also made my PDA more manageable. There are many approaches to build that safety.This episode is a follow-up to the interview on PDA last weekMentioned in episode: Book Low-Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman (affiliate link)Last week's interview on PDA, and the podcast PDA: Resistance and ResilienceMattia's bday (or whenever) wish listAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's been a running joke (that wasn't initially a joke) that I'm totally going to do a PDA episode very soon... since the very first episode of AuDHD Flourishing.Now we have one, thanks to Chris Wells and Marni Kammersell for interviewing me on PDA: Resistance and Resilience, and letting me cross-post the episode here!Mentioned in episode:Full show notesAuDHD Flourishing Episode 87: Giftedness & the Sparkly Mind with Sheldon GayAuDHD Flourishing Episode 88: Gifted Development & Positive Disintegration with Chris WellsAuDHD Flourishing Episode 108: Using Intuition PracticallyRobert Chapman’s book Empire of NormalityConnect with Chris, Marni, PDA pod:Wandering Brightly with Marni KammersellPositive Disintegration and cosmic cheer squad with Chris WellsPDA: Resistance and Resilience on SubstackFollow us on InstagramAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

About two years ago, I started ADHD stimulant medication as a regular (most days) thing. I've mentioned it here and there on the podcast. This is my most concentrated "review" of the main things I've noticed over the past two years. To be clear, when I mention a factor that might make stimulant meds more of a burnout risk, I'm not saying those folks shouldn't try it! Just to be very careful not to push through the body's capacity. Mentioned in episode: Mattia interviewed on Chris Wells' & Marni Kammersell's new podcast, PDA: Resistance and Resilience. Ep 7: Creative Resistance (I'll be posting this episode in the feed next week)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One reason most advice doesn't work for us is that it's backwards. It's telling us to do/have the end result, rather than showing us how to get there.In the case of safety or shame, it's pretty clear that we can't just leap to the end of the process (if there even is one with a traumatized body).Mentioned in episode: Toxic Shame: What it is and How to Heal From it (YouTube, Heidi Priebe. Her take is overall better/more accessible than the book she's referencing, which is shockingly triggering all over the place)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.