115 That Advice is Backwards

It's been a running joke (that wasn't initially a joke) that I'm totally going to do a PDA episode very soon... since the very first episode of AuDHD Flourishing.Now we have one, thanks to Chris Wells and Marni Kammersell for interviewing me on PDA: Resistance and Resilience, and letting me cross-post the episode here!Mentioned in episode:Full show notesAuDHD Flourishing Episode 87: Giftedness & the Sparkly Mind with Sheldon GayAuDHD Flourishing Episode 88: Gifted Development & Positive Disintegration with Chris WellsAuDHD Flourishing Episode 108: Using Intuition PracticallyRobert Chapman’s book Empire of NormalityConnect with Chris, Marni, PDA pod:Wandering Brightly with Marni KammersellPositive Disintegration and cosmic cheer squad with Chris WellsPDA: Resistance and Resilience on SubstackFollow us on Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

About two years ago, I started ADHD stimulant medication as a regular (most days) thing. I've mentioned it here and there on the podcast. This is my most concentrated "review" of the main things I've noticed over the past two years. To be clear, when I mention a factor that might make stimulant meds more of a burnout risk, I'm not saying those folks shouldn't try it! Just to be very careful not to push through the body's capacity. Mentioned in episode: Mattia interviewed on Chris Wells' & Marni Kammersell's new podcast, PDA: Resistance and Resilience. Ep 7: Creative Resistance (I'll be posting this episode in the feed next week)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One reason most advice doesn't work for us is that it's backwards. It's telling us to do/have the end result, rather than showing us how to get there.In the case of safety or shame, it's pretty clear that we can't just leap to the end of the process (if there even is one with a traumatized body).Mentioned in episode: Toxic Shame: What it is and How to Heal From it (YouTube, Heidi Priebe. Her take is overall better/more accessible than the book she's referencing, which is shockingly triggering all over the place)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TQ (they/them) is a queer, trans, physically disabled, AuDHD Chinese-Singaporean artist, author/host of the upcoming book/podcast Queer! AuDHD! BIPOC!, and community facilitator for other queer neurodivergent BIPOC.In true ND fashion, we range over many topics, including the importance of community and hearing your own stories as a person with multiple intersecting identities. You can pre-order a copy of their upcoming book for behind-the-scenes/early access to the interviews and writing! TQ's links & mentioned in episode:Support the Queer! AuDHD! BIPOC! book and podcastAll the incredible neurodivergent, Autistic, and AuDHD creators of color TQ learns fromLovette Jallow on the history/use of the term "intersectionality" The Autastic CommunityAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Also on YouTube for some visualsMy urge for minimalism is partly to provide myself with the visual cues I desperately need, without overwhelming myself with visual clutter. And, there has been a specifically classist push for minimalism that sometimes causes me to get rid of too much.Here's an excellent thread about minimalism, class, and why you're probably not a hoarderI especially loved the idea that you may just need better organization, because I really love lining things up. Now I'm focusing on organizing based on my interests, rather than what I think is the most practical or obvious!Mentioned in episode: Mastodon thread about minimalismThe exact iPad cover I showed that looks like a Composition notebook (still going strong almost four years in), affiliate linkAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks to Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson for letting me cross-post this important discussion about one of the first longitudinal studies of ADHD in women and girls!Full show notes, timestamps, and Transcript available on Hyperfocus' site(Ep 5, The “devastating” findings of a decades-long ADHD study, Dec 5, 2024 has the full version; it was reposted Aug 28 2025 with more brief notes)Show notes:Dr. Stephen Hinshaw is one of the leading voices when it comes to ADHD in women and girls. That’s in large part due to his work on The Berkeley Girls Study. (Its full name is The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study, but most people know it by that shorthand or acronym: The BGALs Study.)Under Steve’s leadership, researchers began studying 140 girls with ADHD and a control group of nearly 90 girls without it. They’ve been following these girls into their adulthood, producing a reams of information that has helped shape current understanding of ADHD in women and girls. That said, Rae Jacobson had plenty of questions for Steve:Why did you want to study ADHD in girls at a time when it was typically seen as a boys’ disorder?Why is it that one type of ADHD seems to lead to such negative outcomes?What do we do about the stigma that still surrounds the disorder?note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and self-harm. Please take care when listening and skip this one if you need to.Listen to more episodes of Hyperfocus here Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Chronic shame makes us feel all kinds of terrible things that often are the triggers that send people to therapy.It's caused in part by relational rupture without repair, especially as an infant and child.While there's no quick fix, recognizing the signs and beginning to gently work with it does help over time.This is episode 10 of a series of 10 that started with 102 AuDHD Therapy That Works with Joe SostaI'm working on some more materials to pull all these episodes together in a useful way and will add that here when they're done! Crisis Resources:USA-based anonymous crisis chatInternational crisis linesVarious types of crisis resources in about 10 countriesMy Medium article, "Please Stay, We Need You"Mentioned in episode: Book Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame: Healing Right Brain Relational Trauma (I recommend this 2nd edition, affiliate link)Whack-a-Mole Workshop slides/notes and recordings (latter is free & requires free login; a downloadable PDF is also available there on Patreon)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Darren Glencross was diagnosed near the beginning of 2025, and since then has written multiple books and come up with a new framework for people to explore outside of the medical model. It includes: Pattern Language, Inner Orbit with 12 satellites (and Their Orbit), and the Carry KitIt's exciting to explore community-led models!Connect with Darren: Message on Instagram @beaconwithinDarren Glencross on LinkedInMentioned in episode:Love Your Brain course (& Sep-Oct live round details)Free workshops already concluded, and will be available most likely in the Patreon soon (I'll update this when they're somewhere!)You may also email questions about Love Your Brain to [email protected]:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

AuDHD brains face many challenges when it comes to projects. It's something I've put a great deal of time and learning into, both personally and professionally. This episode covers many ideas and approaches that tend to work for us.Key Takeaways:We usually learn to use what I call the Adrenaline-Anxiety Approach. While effective short-term, it can lead to burnout and other issues.A monotropic approach is more sustainable and individualized... and it can feel slow at first.Experimentation as a core toolCreating just enough structure and safety to get going, without getting bogged down (loose planning)Working with the brain states you haveManaging interruptions, inputs, and daily lifeFinding the balance that works for youThe episode also walks through the Love Your Brain course, designed to help AuDHDers understand their mind-body system, work with brain states, and navigate project challenges. The course emphasizes self-compassion, experimentation, and building processes tailored to individual needs.Repost - originally posted July 12th 2024Note: not strictly in the current 10-episode series, but still relevant!Links mentioned:Devon Price's Laziness Does Not Exist article, and a PDF if you're not on MediumThe transcript may be especially useful for this episode! (It'll take a few seconds for the link to fully load to this episode)Love Your Brain course (and the Sep/Oct 2025 live round info) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This ep also available on YouTube"use more lube:" do what you need to do to make life easier, more comfortable, and more pleasurable for you in the moment.This goes beyond sensory needs, though that's often where we start.You may not be sure what you want on the grand scale (or it feels impossible to get there). But being kind to yourself, and meeting your needs moment-to-moment, helps create a communication feedback loop with the body.Better communication and care for the body makes everything easier.ep. 8 in an interconnected 10-episode seriesMentioned in episode:Free Workshops registration linkLove Your Brain course (& Sep-Oct live round details)Resources:Transcript DocMattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.