Why I Was Afraid to Lose Friends When I Quit

Nothing prepares you for quitting alcohol. Not the books, not the blogs, not the horror stories — nothing.   Most people think 30 days without alcohol will be a nightmare: no fun, no relaxation, no connection. But what if those fears are exaggerated? What if those 30 days aren’t the end of joy, but the beginning of calmness, clarity, courage, and connection?   In this episode, I share what really happened when I quit drinking for 30 days. From blackouts and shame spirals to the eight Cs of SELF, you’ll hear how one decision reshaped my marriage, career, and sense of identity.   💡 If you’re ready to test your own 30 days without alcohol, STRIVE Foundations is the perfect place to start. It’s a guided 30-day container filled with tools, coaching, and community support to help you discover what’s truly possible when alcohol is no longer in the way. Learn more here: https://www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations   This isn’t just my story. It’s an invitation for you to start your 30 days now — and see what’s waiting for you on the other side.   Much love, and STRIVE on!   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #alcoholfree #alcoholrecovery #sobercurious #quitdrinking #soberliving #sobermotivation #selfleadership #alcoholawareness

What if quitting drinking wasn’t about losing your friends—but about losing your supply? Not alcohol. Not even fun. Supply: that deep hit of approval, belonging, and validation.   When I quit drinking, my biggest fear wasn’t the empty pint glass—it was the empty space where my friends’ approval used to be.   In this episode, I share how my Performer Part ran the show for years, why I chased validation like survival, and how quitting alcohol forced me to face the truth about my need for supply.   You’ll hear how I discovered Alice Miller’s Drama of the Gifted Child, learned about narcissistic supply, and began practicing daily self-mirroring—approving of myself instead of outsourcing worth to others.   This isn’t about losing friends. It’s about reclaiming yourself.   Listen in, and let’s break the cycle together.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #alcoholfree #sobriety #selfleadership #IFS #selflove #peoplepleasing #alcoholrecovery #alcoholawareness #quitdrinking #mentalhealth #narcissisticsupply #healingjourney #innerchild

Most people don’t drink because they love alcohol—they drink because they’re hiding from something deeper. And nowhere is this more obvious than in our relationships.   In this episode, inspired by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, I explore why so many of us choose partners from PARTS—fear of loneliness, desperation for approval—instead of from SELF. When that happens, alcohol becomes the band-aid that holds together relationships that were never truly built on love or alignment in the first place.   If you’re reaching for the bottle to cope with conflict, numb loneliness, or paper over the cracks of disconnection—this conversation is for you.   Listen in as I break down: – How insecure attachment styles set us up for painful patterns. – Why alcohol shows up when relationships feel chaotic. – Five red flags you may be in the wrong relationship. – The vow you can take today to start choosing connection from SELF.   If alcohol is hiding the truth about your relationship—and you want to change that—join STRIVE Foundations today at www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations.   You don’t need alcohol to keep the wrong relationship alive—and you don’t need to stay in the wrong relationship just to avoid being alone.   Much love, and STRIVE on! Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #relationships #attachmentstyles #alcoholawareness #selfleadership #IFS

Today’s guest, Susana Carter, is an inspiring example of what it means to turn pain into purpose. An Arizona-based QHHT and Soul Speak practitioner, she works with people to unlock higher levels of consciousness, heal emotional wounds, and live in their truest self. But Susana’s path to this work was anything but easy. She’s walked through childhood trauma, navigated adult heartbreak, and spent years using alcohol to escape—until one August evening, she put down the bottle for good. Eight years later, she’s not only thriving but helping others do the same.   In our conversation, we explore her journey from drinking a bottle of vodka a night to guiding others through deep emotional healing, the challenges of living alcohol-free in a relationship with a partner who still drinks, and the lessons she’s learned about self-responsibility, love, and holding space without losing yourself. If you’ve ever wondered how to stand strong in your sobriety while those around you continue to drink—or how life’s darkest moments can lead to the most profound growth—you’ll find so much wisdom here.   If you want to follow in Susana’s footsteps, join STRIVE Foundations: www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations.   To learn more about Susana Carter’s work, visit: www.susanacarter.com.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #SusanaCarter #alcoholfree #sobriety #alcoholrecovery #traumahealing #relationships #selfledlife #AFAF

What if the way you talk to yourself isn’t just shaping your inner world—but also the energy of every room you walk into?   In this Coaches Corner episode, I share a powerful story about a man whose self-criticism didn’t just wound him—it disrupted his entire group. You’ll hear how shifting from PARTS-led self-attack to SELF-led compassion transformed not only his nervous system but also everyone around him.    We’ll explore: – How nervous system awareness reveals when you’ve slipped “below the line.” – Why your self-talk isn’t harmless—it’s inherited. – The 3 steps that helped one man stop attacking himself and start healing the room. – Why healing your nervous system is the real secret to staying alcohol-free-as-f***.   This isn’t just theory. It’s about building integrity, safety, and compassion in every space you enter—starting with how you treat yourself.    Follow @LeeDavyCoaching for the best alcohol-free content on the planet. Curious about your drinking? You don’t have to be ready to quit, you just have to be ready to look. Start here: https://www.thestrivemethod.com/Foundations   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #alcoholfree #alcoholawareness #IFS #InternalFamilySystems #selfleadership #nervoussystemregulation #mindfulness #healingjourney #traumarecovery #emotionalawareness #compassion #integrity #recoveryjourney #quitdrinking #coaching

There’s a special kind of fear when you’re in pain and far from home—no language, no map, no one truly seeing you. In this episode, I share a recent health scare in Riga and the deeper lesson it surfaced: when our nervous system is on high alert, we don’t need more instructions… we need to feel held.    You’ll hear the story, the moment I realised I was craving safety—not solutions—and a simple 3-step practice to find steadiness without reaching for a drink: Name the PART that’s scared. Find the holding energy (person, memory, space). From SELF, choose the next best move.    If Safety is one of the six STRIVE needs, this episode is your reminder that it’s an inside job—amplified by the people and spaces that can hold you in the storm. We’ll close with a Daily Vow you can carry into your day.    If this resonates, follow @LeeDavyCoaching for the best alcohol-free content on the planet, and if you’re curious about your drinking—you don’t have to be ready to quit, just ready to look—start here: https://www.thestrivemethod.com/Foundations.    #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #alcoholfree #alcoholawareness #selfleadership #IFS #InternalFamilySystems #nervoussystemregulation #anxietyrelief #healingjourney #menswork #boundaries #emotionalhealth #personaldevelopment #mindsetshift #quitdrinking #recoveryjourney #breathwork #communityhealing

When you’ve lived your intimate life with alcohol as the social glue, it’s easy to forget what real connection feels like. In this episode, I unpack how the bar–drink–hookup loop rewires your nervous system, blurs your boundaries, and keeps you chasing validation instead of presence. I share my own story of how booze shaped my sexual defaults, the archetypes that fuel risky behaviour, and the simple, grounded practices that help you build intimacy from SELF — no liquid courage required.   We’ll cover how to map your intimacy patterns, meet the PARTS that crave hookups, and practise connection in alcohol-free environments so you can stop rehearsing the wrong script and start attracting people who meet you as you are.   Follow @LeeDavyCoaching for the best alcohol-free content on the planet!   Curious about your drinking? You don’t have to be ready to quit — you just have to be ready to look. Start here: www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #AFAF #selfledlife #alcoholfreeliving #soberlife #sobrietycoach #alcoholawareness #relationshipswithoutalcohol #emotionalintimacy #healyourrelationships #kingwarriormagicianlover #IFS #selfleadership #personaldevelopment #nervoussystemregulation #breakthecycle #alcoholfreeconnection #selfintimacy #sobercurious

The moment you think you can “just” have one drink after years alcohol-free, you’ve already lost. Moderation isn’t control—it’s the first crack in the dam.   In this episode, I share my own failed attempt at moderation after three years alcohol-free-as-fuck, the painful Vegas-to-Lion-King wake-up call that ended it, and the deeper truth that moderation is rarely about the drink—it’s about hidden pain. You’ll learn how Internal Family Systems therapy explains the ‘firefighters’ and ‘exiles’ behind relapse, and why you can’t fight them alone.   If moderation feels tempting right now, it’s time to ask what’s really hurting inside. And if you want the tools, awareness, and support to face it head-on without sliding back into the cycle, STRIVE Foundations is where you start.   Follow @LeeDavyCoaching for the best alcohol-free content on the planet. Join STRIVE Foundations here → www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #AFAF #alcoholfreelife #sobriety #quitdrinking #alcoholfree #sobercommunity #moderationmyth #selfleadership #IFS #recovery #sobercurious #mentalhealth #addictionrecovery #mindsetcoach #emotionalhealth #soberliving #personaldevelopment

You can’t climb a mountain while chained to the valley. If you want to elevate, you’ve got to let go of what’s holding you down — even if it’s familiar, even if it’s comfortable, even if it’s all you’ve ever known.   In this episode, I share how becoming alcohol-free-as-fuck wasn’t just about ditching the drink — it meant dismantling the life that no longer served me. From ending long-term relationships to releasing old identities, I learned that true growth demands separation.   You’ll discover why letting go isn’t loss but liberation, how to meet the fear of separation with SELF-leadership, and the one simple question to ask yourself every day if you want to rise.   🎯 If you’re ready to build a SELF-led life and finally let go of what’s keeping you small, join STRIVE Foundations today: www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #AlcoholFreeAsFuck #SoberLiving #AlcoholFreeJourney #SobrietyPodcast #MindsetShift #SelfLeadership #AlcoholFreeLife #QuitDrinking #SobrietyTools #EmotionalSobriety #RecoveryJourney #PersonalGrowth #ElevationRequiresSeparation

What would you do if you suddenly had an extra £8,398 in your pocket? Pay off debt? Treat your kids? Finally book that dream trip?   That’s exactly what I gained when I stopped drinking—and in this episode, I’m breaking down how I did it through a process I call The Reclamation. You’ll learn why the decision to live a SELF-led life doesn’t just change your health—it can transform your finances, relationships, and future.   I’ll share my exact alcohol spend before quitting, the simple framework that helped me stop, and how you can test-drive it yourself with a 30-day challenge that might just give you the biggest financial and emotional return of your life.   🎯 Ready to reclaim your money, time, and freedom? Join STRIVE Foundations at www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations and start your own Reclamation today.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast, #LeeDavy, #STRIVE, #alcoholfree, #sobriety, #quitdrinking, #selfledlife, #TheLiquidLie, #alcoholawareness, #mindsetshift, #personaldevelopment, #financialfreedom, #nobooze, #AFchallenge