The Lost Years: How Alcohol, Shame, and Self-Discovery Shape Who We Become

What if the “worst” years of your life were actually the beginning of your healing?   In this conversation with Lindsey Van Wagner, author of Spirit Vigilante, we explore how redefining addiction as sickness, not badness can open the door to grace, self-understanding, and freedom. Lindsey shares her raw story of living with bipolar II disorder, the lies she told to survive, and how she learned to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.   We dive into: – The Lost Years — why reframing chaos as illness changed everything – The Forever Question — how to stop obsessing about never again and win today instead – Lies as a Second Job — the freedom that comes when you stop managing alibis – Willingness and Surrender — how to put your ego down without putting yourself down – Inside-Out Living — taking your power back from partners, parties, and promotions   If you’re struggling with alcohol-reliance and want freedom without shame, reach out to me at [email protected]. To grab Lindsey’s book Spirit Vigilante, you’ll find it on Amazon, and you can follow her journey on Instagram @spiritvigilante.   Much love & STRIVE on! – Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #SpiritVigilante #AlcoholFreeAsFuck #SelfLedLife #IFS #BipolarRecovery #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #AddictionAwareness #PersonalGrowth #SelfCompassion #TheLiquidLie #AFCommunity #STRIVEMethod #STRIVEFoundations #GraceOverShame #AlcoholFreeLiving

What happens when the person you love the most becomes the one you hurt the most? In this powerful conversation, Bryan Power shares how his marriage went from a restraining order to reconciliation — all through the lens of Integrated Attachment Theory. Bryan opens up about how childhood trauma shaped his behaviour, how emotional chaos tore his marriage apart, and how understanding attachment styles helped him rebuild trust, safety, and connection with his wife. Together, we explore the idea that healing our relationships begins with taking 100% responsibility for our own PARTS. In this episode: – The truth about how attachment wounds shape adult relationships – Why taking responsibility doesn’t mean accepting blame – How men can lead healing by working on themselves – The difference between anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment – How curiosity and compassion can replace the need to be right – The practical tools Bryan used to rebuild trust and intimacy – The real reason children trigger our deepest wounds If you’ve ever wondered whether a broken relationship can be repaired — or if you’re struggling to understand why the same patterns keep repeating — this episode is your blueprint for transformation. To learn more about Bryan’s work or take the free attachment style quiz, visit www.myrelationshipfail.com. And if you’re going through relationship struggles and want one-to-one coaching to help rebuild trust, safety, and connection, email me at [email protected] to find out how I can help you. #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #relationships #attachmenttheory #selfawareness #healing #communication #marriage #traumarecovery #selfleadership #growth #innerchild #emotionalregulation #selfresponsibility #LeeDavyCoaching

When life gets loud, do you reach for connection—or for a coping mechanism?   In this vulnerable conversation, trauma-informed coach Nina Vasquez makes a bold case: most of us aren’t “addicted”… we’re avoiding ourselves.   We explore what it means to stop numbing and start feeling, and how shame, isolation, and disconnection from the body keep us stuck in the same loop.   In this episode, we dive into: • The difference between isolation and solitude—and why one heals while the other hides. • How shame keeps you small and disconnected from your truth. • Why nervous-system safety is the foundation of all healing. • Body-based tools to release stored emotion—breath, sound, shaking, and movement. • How mirror work and eye contact rebuild self-trust and compassion. • The shame–numb–shame spiral behind alcohol, food, and scrolling. • Simple ways to start living a SELF-led life, AFAF.   Grab Nina’s free nervous system guide: ninavasquezcoaching.com/gifts   If you want personal help to become AFAF, email [email protected] to learn more about Lee’s 1:1 and group coaching options.   Much Love & STRIVE On! Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #IFS #InternalFamilySystems #TheLiquidLie #NervousSystemHealing #Polyvagal #WindowOfTolerance #ShameHealing #Embodiment #Somatics #TraumaInformed #SelfLeadership #EmotionalRegulation #AlcoholAwareness #HealingJourney #Breathwork #MovementPractice #MirrorWork #MindBodyConnection #LeeDavyCoaching

What if joy isn’t something you wait to feel—but a skill you can practice, share, and scale? In this conversation with The Party Scientist, Jacques Martiquet, we explore how music regulates the nervous system, why psychological safety makes joy contagious, and how connection—not chemistry—creates the moments you remember. We swap stories from festivals, Burning Man, and everyday life to show you simple social risks that turn awkward rooms into communities—without a drop of booze.   Inside: — Why music + voice prosody can calm your body and open you to connection — The difference between high-energy hype and the quieter flavours of joy (gratitude, presence, attunement) — Phones, alcohol, and safety: how “full frontal-lobe” gatherings change everything — Joy as leadership: lighting up individuals, then groups (communal joy) — Practical ways to play more—with people—so joy becomes repeatable   A quick invite for STRIVERS: if evenings feel edgy or you’re stuck using alcohol for reward or belonging, STRIVE Foundations gives you 20 bite-size workshops to break the Liquid Lie and build real safety, tribe, and reward—fast. Start today: thestrivemethod.com/foundations   If this episode helps, follow, rate the show, and share it with one person who needs a nudge to find joy without drinking. Much love, and STRIVE on!   Follow @leedavycoaching on Instagram to receive the most unique alcohol-free content on the planet.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast, #LeeDavy, #STRIVE, #STRIVEMethod, #AFAF, #AlcoholFree, #TheLiquidLie, #SELFled, #InternalFamilySystems, #PolyvagalTheory, #PsychologicalSafety, #Connection, #Music, #Joy, #JacquesMartiquet, #PartyScientist

Ever notice how comforting it feels to run to your “safe people” when life gets rough—the ones who nod, agree, and reassure you? For a moment, you feel calmer. But here’s the catch: nothing really changes.   In this episode, I unpack why alcohol is the ultimate echo chamber—always agreeing, never challenging—and how “safe conversations” can quietly keep you stuck. I share personal stories, explore the drama triangle, and reveal why choosing discomfort is the real path to growth.   We’ll talk about echo chambers versus idea labs, how to regulate your nervous system when you feel attacked, and three practical moves to break free from victim mode.   If you’ve ever wondered why the same struggles keep looping, this one’s for you.   If your nervous system feels on edge by 5 pm, chances are you’re running to your own echo chamber—whether that’s a wine glass, a WhatsApp group, or a pub stool. STRIVE Foundations helps you flip that script. Twenty bite-size workshops, one simple truth: alcohol is the Liquid Lie.    #1000DaysSoberPodcast, #LeeDavy, #STRIVE, #STRIVEMethod, #AFAF, #SelfLedLife, #alcoholawareness, #quitdrinking, #alcoholfree, #mindsetshift, #IFS, #echochamber, #healingjourney, #nervoussystem, #victimmode, #growthmindset

The baby wouldn’t stop crying. We were 26, knackered, and suddenly drowning in wine we never meant to drink.   When parenthood hit, so did the isolation. Nights out turned into nights in, and without even realising it, we brought the pub into the house. One glass became a bottle. Tuesdays felt like Fridays. And before long, drinking wasn’t a choice—it was a ritual.   In this episode of the 1000 Days Sober Podcast, I share how being homebound in my twenties made my drinking worse, the subtle shift that happens when alcohol moves from social to medicinal, and the steps you can take to break that cycle before it wrecks more than your evenings.   We’ll cover: – How “just one glass” at home turns into a hidden pattern. – Why your PARTS convince you alcohol = connection. – The truth about what your kids learn when they see you drink. – Five practical tips to stop drinking at home as a parent.   👉 If you’re starting to notice alcohol creeping into your evenings, especially since becoming a parent, you’re not broken—you’ve been sold the Liquid Lie. STRIVE Foundations is your first step to breaking free. It’s where you’ll learn how to take back control and begin living alcohol-free-as-f***. Join us today—thestrivemethod/foundations   Much love, and STRIVE on! Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast, #LeeDavy, #STRIVE, #STRIVEMethod, #AFAF, #SelfLedLife, #TheLiquidLie, #ParentingWithoutAlcohol, #AlcoholAwareness, #SoberParenting, #BreakTheCycle

Norm MacDonald was one of comedy’s sharpest minds—and in this rare conversation, he opens up about his relationship with alcohol, how quitting changed his creativity, and why living alcohol-free gave him an edge in life.   You’ll hear Norm’s stories about drinking on stage, what happens when alcohol becomes part of your persona, and why he believed alcohol is “the worst drug of all.” We also explore the myth that booze fuels creativity—and what really happens when you perform with a clear mind.   This is Norm at his most honest and reflective. If you’ve ever wondered what life might look like without alcohol, this episode will give you a glimpse.   🎧 Listen now and share it with someone who needs to hear Norm’s wisdom.   ✨ STRIVE Foundations Invitation If Norm’s words spark something in you, take the next step. STRIVE Foundations is a 20-workshop journey designed to help you question alcohol’s role in your life and start living alcohol-free-as-f***. Begin today at www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations.   — Follow @LeeDavyCoaching for the best alcohol-free content on the planet.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #AlcoholFree #NormMacDonald #Comedy #Sobriety #AlcoholAwareness #SelfLedLife

Nothing prepares you for quitting alcohol. Not the books, not the blogs, not the horror stories — nothing.   Most people think 30 days without alcohol will be a nightmare: no fun, no relaxation, no connection. But what if those fears are exaggerated? What if those 30 days aren’t the end of joy, but the beginning of calmness, clarity, courage, and connection?   In this episode, I share what really happened when I quit drinking for 30 days. From blackouts and shame spirals to the eight Cs of SELF, you’ll hear how one decision reshaped my marriage, career, and sense of identity.   💡 If you’re ready to test your own 30 days without alcohol, STRIVE Foundations is the perfect place to start. It’s a guided 30-day container filled with tools, coaching, and community support to help you discover what’s truly possible when alcohol is no longer in the way. Learn more here: https://www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations   This isn’t just my story. It’s an invitation for you to start your 30 days now — and see what’s waiting for you on the other side.   Much love, and STRIVE on!   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #alcoholfree #alcoholrecovery #sobercurious #quitdrinking #soberliving #sobermotivation #selfleadership #alcoholawareness

What if quitting drinking wasn’t about losing your friends—but about losing your supply? Not alcohol. Not even fun. Supply: that deep hit of approval, belonging, and validation.   When I quit drinking, my biggest fear wasn’t the empty pint glass—it was the empty space where my friends’ approval used to be.   In this episode, I share how my Performer Part ran the show for years, why I chased validation like survival, and how quitting alcohol forced me to face the truth about my need for supply.   You’ll hear how I discovered Alice Miller’s Drama of the Gifted Child, learned about narcissistic supply, and began practicing daily self-mirroring—approving of myself instead of outsourcing worth to others.   This isn’t about losing friends. It’s about reclaiming yourself.   Listen in, and let’s break the cycle together.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #alcoholfree #sobriety #selfleadership #IFS #selflove #peoplepleasing #alcoholrecovery #alcoholawareness #quitdrinking #mentalhealth #narcissisticsupply #healingjourney #innerchild

Most people don’t drink because they love alcohol—they drink because they’re hiding from something deeper. And nowhere is this more obvious than in our relationships.   In this episode, inspired by Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, I explore why so many of us choose partners from PARTS—fear of loneliness, desperation for approval—instead of from SELF. When that happens, alcohol becomes the band-aid that holds together relationships that were never truly built on love or alignment in the first place.   If you’re reaching for the bottle to cope with conflict, numb loneliness, or paper over the cracks of disconnection—this conversation is for you.   Listen in as I break down: – How insecure attachment styles set us up for painful patterns. – Why alcohol shows up when relationships feel chaotic. – Five red flags you may be in the wrong relationship. – The vow you can take today to start choosing connection from SELF.   If alcohol is hiding the truth about your relationship—and you want to change that—join STRIVE Foundations today at www.thestrivemethod.com/foundations.   You don’t need alcohol to keep the wrong relationship alive—and you don’t need to stay in the wrong relationship just to avoid being alone.   Much love, and STRIVE on! Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #relationships #attachmentstyles #alcoholawareness #selfleadership #IFS