Taking Circles on Retreat with Cobi Campbell

In this episode, Julia interviewed Cobi about: - How the training with Circle Holding increased her confidence in facilitating the talking component - Including more circles in retreats because of knowing how to make everyone comfortable - Building on her confidence with embodiment to expand the parts of facilitation she was less experienced in You can order our book here: [https://www.circleholding.org/book](https://www.circleholding.org/book) For instructions on how to craft your own vulva heart decorations or for puberty circles, you can find Tessa's vulva cushions and uterus aprons here: (scroll down towards bottom of webpage) [https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/workshop-events/puberty-support](https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/workshop-events/puberty-support) Get your free Start Your Circle Guide [HERE](http://eepurl.com/iJH3pw) Support our podcast. If you love the conversations and would love for us to create a third series you can support our podcast by donating £5, £10 or any other amount: [https://www.gofundme.com/f/spread-stories-of-communities-building-circles-of-hope/](https://www.gofundme.com/f/spread-stories-of-communities-building-circles-of-hope/) To learn more about facilitating circles you can join one of our trainings: [https://www.circleholding.org](https://www.circleholding.org) Or see Tessa's offerings at [https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/circles](https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/circles) including The Art of Holding Space Retreat 9-11 October [https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/circles/weekend-retreat](https://www.tessavenutisanderson.co.uk/circles/weekend-retreat) You can attend Julia's In Person Circles at [https://finchleyyoga.com/#workshops](https://finchleyyoga.com/#workshops) We love to hear from circle facilitators and circle goers so please email us at [email protected] Music credit: Fabio Venuti

In this episode, Tessa and Claire talked about: - from corporate to coaching - finding meaning through a different kind of leadership - creating a structure in circle to let the magic happen - a focus on the quality of process rather than the outcome - different from coaching because not asking follow up questions about how someone feels or about their experience - important to manage participants' expectations and stay in your lane if you have multiple skills/ professions - the power of being witnessed - sharing creative output without critique or judgement, but how it is received and lands for the audience (e.g. "What your words touch in me is....") - circle format isn't only for talking and listening, but to include other activities like writing in a supportive environment - permission not to share what's been created during the circle is part of the safety of the container - you can adjust the amount of time for the circle or the number of people in it, if it feels not spacious enough - try different times of day if it's not filling - how you decide what to charge to keep your motivation high and the circle sustainable - a monthly subscription shows a commitment of the participants to their creative process - use what you're interested in to create your niche circle - imposter syndrome is a sign that you're approaching an edge for you - might be a need for training to give you confidence, but could also be just that it's something new - don't wait for it to feel completely comfortable - container creates a space where women can share what they can't say anywhere else - there's a freedom in having people to listen carefully to your words - this kind of leadership is needed in the world as it is now.

In this episode Galia shares: * introducing creative writing in a women's shelter * creating a safe enough space to share personal experience * building trust within your circle * creating a space for creative feedback * how best to provide creative writing feedback in circle * the value of writing as an alternative to speaking * the importance of having appropriately trained individuals in trauma spaces * creating a safe enough container - the closed writing circle * creating your writing theme: meaningful writing from the heart * how to promote your writing circle * the ambitious writer in circle * the joy of listening to stories unfold

In this episode, Tessa and Julia: - gave two examples of settling practices to prepare the ground for listening - discussed the importance of caring for people's nervous systems as part of a circle - showed how your vulnerability may make it safer for others to share - shared guidelines that are essential for creating the container for deep listening - explored how pacing the sharing is important, including having time for people to listen to their thoughts before sharing aloud - how using a talking object can slow down turn taking - the role of the disrupter to listen to discomfort / undercurrents in the circle - a listening circle provides a different space that coaching or counselling - there can be value in not reflecting back or asking further questions - use of pairs and triads in the group setting to support deep listening skills - shared the possibility of people talking side-by-side rather than face-to-face to support listening -

In this episode, Tessa and Julia shared how they brought the end of the year to their circles with ideas of practices you might use for the Winter Solstice, the New Year or the ending of a series of circle sessions.

If you're new to the Circle Holding podcast, this episode will give you a glimpse into the interviews with diverse circle facilitators in Series 3.

Alex and Julia talked about: • First encountered circles at Church with age group and older facilitator • Came back to circle in his thirties with a lot more life experience • Was a journalist in lifestyle and wellbeing who attended a circle out of curiosity and to write an article, to being asked to host one • Started with a one hour circle for 6-8 weeks • Is inspired by Men’s Speak, men’s circles in London • Did a Mental Health First Aid Course, then coaching, then as a therapist, which opened doors into schools • Did group work in schools with those who found the structure of school difficult- it gave space to relax and let their guard down • One of guidelines was to be responsible for the group rather than being disruptive and stopping others from benefiting from the group • Delivered ‘Becoming a man’ programme, part of Youth Guidance (US initiated) until funding withdrawn by government • Shared programme through assembly and boys consented to participating through signed agreement • There has to be buy-in from teachers and parents

Julia and Tessa talk about the importance of the welcome to circle, including the pre-circle preparation and how welcomes might differ according to your demographic.

Sophie and Tessa talked about: • Moving away from right and wrong dynamics to a different way of engaging • Restorative justice addresses harm after it has happened e.g. working with local police • Restorative practice is about every interaction, shifting out of who’s right and wrong and to what really matters and how can we move forwards • I-messaging means talking from my personal experience rather than you language or how it is (as if factual) – what’s true for me is indisputable and allows space for difference • Speaking from multiple social truths • Move away from divisive, binary debating to what matters • Important to create a container for this different style of communicating, which involves getting consent to work WITH people rather than do a process to people • Where there is conflict, a risk assessment needs to be done to determine if there is a willingness to shift – can ask, “What needs are being met by not moving and what needs are not being met by moving your views?” • Having enough support is critical for facilitators – lack of support can show up as physical symptoms • Debriefing helps to process the facilitation and move from reactivity to memory • Constantly trying to prove rightness and wrongness is costly in terms of your nervous system • Circle spaces can create a more equal space than other set ups – important to become ‘power literate’ • ‘Flat’ organisations usually hide power dynamics • Ways of dealing with power differentials could be to decide the order in which people speak or not having everyone speak • Want to avoid ‘group think’ where focus on sameness rather than making space for difference, although it’s understandable to focus on sameness to ensure belonging where there’s less power • Bringing authenticity into communication is countercultural! E.g. Not to slip into saying “I’m fine” when you’re not. • I-messaging is a way to be authentic and belong