How to Stop Letting Your Past Beliefs and Habits Affect Your New Relationships

I want to start off by saying this podcast has truly been life-changing for me, and I’ve loved bringing my best stories, experiences, and knowledge to you over the last 3 years. I’ve also noticed a shift within myself over the last few months, and I don’t want to ignore it-I’m paying attention to it, because it’s a beautiful place to be.   With all of that being said, I’m not sure if the content I’m creating and the lessons I’m learning really fit with this podcast, so this is going to be my last podcast episode for now. I’m going to take my own advice and really take some time to find clarity on where I’m going in the future, because I want to share the best possible content that not only helps you, but is also aligned with my heart and soul.   Wherever I end up going (whether it’s with this podcast or a brand new one), I would love for us to stay connected, and I want to hear from YOU! I want to know what you need help with, what you’re curious about, and how I can continue to support you.   If you’re ready to step into a new phase in your life and embody your personal power, I’m right there with you. It’s what I’m feeling called to do, and I couldn’t be more excited for what is coming!   Thank you for being here with me over the years; I've loved hearing from you about the positive impact my show and message has made on you, and it has brought me so much joy. I hope you continue to grow, stay inspired on your journey, and love your life. I can’t wait to connect with you again soon-this isn’t goodbye after all!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode136

I recently shared a concept with one of my coaching groups, and I knew I needed to bring it to you as well because I think it’s pretty powerful!  I want you to think about gravity, and how it’s always around us, even when we don’t notice it; it can’t be taken away. The same thing is true for our personal power-it’s a massive force and energy that lives within us. I want to dive deeper into this topic today, because it’s so important for all of us to understand.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -Why your personal power is always within you, and you can’t ever lose it -2 ways you can work through to figure out if you are living in your most powerful state -How to evaluate where you are currently, and then how you can begin to level up and start showing up as your most powerful self for your family, community, job, and more   I really want you to remember the importance of your personal power, and to know that nobody can take it from you. Even if you feel like you aren’t living in your highest and most powerful place, you have the potential to tap into more, and level up at ANY time. It’s a beautiful and amazing thing once you realize this, and it’s never too late to take action!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode135

I had a fascinating conversation with someone at an event recently (one of my favorite things is to strike up conversations with complete strangers), and we were discussing what we had witnessed over the last two and a half years with the pandemic. We talked about all of our favorite places initially shutting down, the stress we were under, and ultimately, how our healthy coping mechanisms have changed. Even though most of the lockdowns and restrictions are gone, you may not be getting out and utilizing services and activities like you used to. I’m excited to dive more into how you can get back to connecting (or reconnecting) with your community, and everything that is going on there.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -How you can start getting out of your house and begin learning about new businesses in your community (or those that have changed since the pandemic) -Why you need to get out and reconnect with your friends and your community now, more than ever -The importance of taking the time to learn about the people, businesses, and events going on in your community   You’re not meant to stay in the exact same place your whole life-things are going to look different now, compared to when you were 15 or 30 years old. You’re meant to evolve, and grow, and contribute to society (this doesn’t have to be scary either-it can actually be exciting). You really can find so much joy when you get out into your community, and try new things (or things you used to enjoy doing, but haven’t in awhile). I hope you choose to get out of your comfort zone a bit, and get more connected with your community, the wonderful people there, and the fun things going on-I know you won’t regret it!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode134

The theme of ‘connection’ I’ve been doing is so important to me, and the topic I’m sharing about today is no different. Connecting with your partner is needed now, more than ever-especially with the huge disconnect we’re experiencing from real people in our society. If you truly want to be with your partner and you’re willing to put in the work, you have to understand the evolution of a relationship, and recognize where you are in your relationship. I’m excited to dive more into all of this, and what it looks like to connect with your partner on a deeper level.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -The different stages your relationship goes through over time -What it can look like for you to push your partner out and drift apart (especially with kids in the mix), even if you don’t mean to -How you can reconnect with your partner if you’re feeling totally disconnected -Getting really honest with yourself about how YOU’RE showing up in your relationship   You can’t be super tight and connected and have a great relationship with your partner if you’re trying to do it all alone, and you refuse to be vulnerable. Your partner is the one person you need to allow that vulnerability, and that true ‘you’, to come through. This is the person you love and cherish; they’re here for a reason, and it’s important for you to let them know that. I want to encourage you to work on rebuilding and maintaining that deep connection with your partner so you both feel fully supported and fulfilled in your relationship!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode133

When it comes to your kids, do you try to protect them by removing every discomfort they may experience? You want to keep them as safe as possible from the negativity and challenges that happen in life, but this actually ends up creating a disconnect (which is the opposite of what you’re trying to do). I’ve learned that connecting with your kids can never be done as a one-size-fits-all approach (especially if you have multiple kids), so I want to share more about what that can look like, no matter how old your kids are.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -Getting really present (avoiding distractions as much as possible) and connecting in a way that is unique to each kid -Recognizing that the same things that worked for your kids when they were young won’t necessarily work as they get older  -Why you need to stop trying to be someone or something you’re not (your kids WILL be able to tell), and instead, choose to be your authentic self -Learning to not always feel like we have to control our kids, and make them believe and see things the same way we do -Finding new ways and tools that will help you learn how to connect with your kids   I want you to remember-you are raising your kids to fly and leave the nest, so they should become independent. Learning to trust your kids and supporting them in the best ways possible (through all of their seasons) will help so much when you’re trying to build that connection. We all make mistakes when it comes to parenting our kids (don’t beat yourself for doing your best-we’ve all been there). I truly believe that whatever your relationship is like with your kids, you can strengthen and improve it if you’re willing to put in the work, so I hope you choose to!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Audible-get a free 30 day trial when you go to https://www.audibletrial.com/functioninghotmess FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode132

When you think about what your purpose is, do you think it’s your profession, or what you’re ‘good’ at doing? During childhood, we’re often asked what we want to be when we grow up, and it can feel like a lot of pressure (especially as we get older). Our self-worth gets tied up in trying to meet other people’s (or even our own) expectations, but that’s just not how it should be. I want to dive more into your purpose, and specifically, what it looks like when you’re connecting with your purpose.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -How you can find your purpose, and the things that really light you up -3 important parts to consider when you’re identifying your unique gifts and talents -Why you can live out your purpose, no matter what profession you’re in   When you’ve aligned with your purpose, it will completely change everything in your life-your decisions, your choices, and even your relationships. Once you choose to start connecting with your purpose, the sky really is the limit. I want you to dig deep and get those creative juices flowing when it comes to thinking about who you are, and what your purpose is. I know this will only strengthen your self-love, and positively impact how you show up and connect with others too!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode131

You probably know by now I love to really step back and observe every situation and everything going on in life, from a detached place. I actually teach this kind of practice in my mini-course, The Hot Mess Method, in order to create lasting change in your life, and I’ve been doing a lot more of it recently.  I keep picking up the common theme of ‘disconnect’ with humanity; there is a lot of fear and hate going on, and it all stems from us being disconnected. This is something I want to dive into more on this episode, and specifically, I want to focus on connecting with yourself.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -Why you have to be connected with and taking care of yourself in order to take care of those around you (hint-if you are, nothing in life can knock you down for long) -Taking some time to really think about (and write out) where you are connected with yourself, and where you are disconnected -How easily you can pick up and consume thoughts and values from other people if you aren’t fully connected with yourself    The best thing you can do is to get connected with who you are and what your values are-not what everyone else is telling you. When you take the time to really dig deep and become aware of where you’re connected and disconnected with yourself, you have the knowledge you need, and you know what you need to do moving forward.  I can’t wait to hear how everything else begins to change in your life once you do this, because I promise you, it will!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode130

I recently heard the phrase “stop hoping for a better past”, and while that maybe isn’t quite what you or I would expect to hear, it really hit home with me. We’ve all been through something in our past that really hurt our hearts, and we wish we could change. How much time, energy, and attention are you still giving to hoping for a better past though, and how is it affecting you now?   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -All of your past experiences that have shaped you and taught you something, and also made you who you are today -Understanding that who you really are should matter more than what others think -Why worrying about your past will keep you from moving forward with your present, and your future   If you continue being angry at the fact you didn’t have a better past experience, then you’re not living; life is meant to be lived! If you’re really struggling with some of your past issues, therapy may be a great option for you (it’s helped me tremendously). Once your ‘stuff’ is out and you’ve worked through what you needed to, it’s gone, and it doesn’t have a permanent residency within you anymore.   I want you to find what lights up your soul and focus on being more in the present; this is what’s going to create a beautiful future for you!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode129

Do you remember when everything shut down two and a half years ago, and so many of us were in our homes with extra time to take care of the house, spend more time with our kids, etc.? Even though we were concerned about what was going on, it was pretty nice to just kick back and relax, and not have much of a set schedule.    Unfortunately, this ended up leading to a major mental health crisis that has been tough for so many. With everything going on in our world, we also stopped caring about how we can improve ourselves and our lives, so it’s time to talk about leveling up, and taking back our lives going forward.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -How we stopped striving for excellence and taking positive action in our lives -Recognizing if/where you are still living in that ‘shut down’ phase  -Understanding that you have a choice to decide what you’re going to do with your life   It’s totally okay to take time to heal, but I don’t want you to stay stuck there for years and years either. It’s time to get out of your own way, and start taking control of your life again; find the excitement, make a decision to level up, and go full steam ahead after your dreams!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by Reech Yoga Mats- http://theheartofconfidence.com/myreech. Get a 30 day money-back guarantee when you try your mat today, and use the code HOTMESS10 for $10 off! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode128

I’m bringing back a listener-favorite episode today, and it’s all about relationships!   Sometimes, we bring in past beliefs, habits, and trauma we’ve experienced into new relationships-it can be easy to do so, because that’s what we know, and are used to. I want to dive into how this affects us and our relationships though, because it’s important work we need to do.   In today’s episode, I’m talking about: -Really digging into what you’re bringing from past relationships into new ones, and how it’s affecting the people in your life -How to discover what’s upsetting you and/or hurting your feelings in relationships -Learning to see people as actual people, and not lumping them into a certain category -Why you need to take ownership of where you are and make positive changes moving forward   Honestly, it all starts with you, and the work you have to do on yourself-no one is going to do that for you. Once you’re aware of this, you’re able to make different (and better) choices for your future. I want you to create more self-confidence and self-love, because this will lead to you having some truly awesome relationships in your life that you deserve!   If you’re ready for a life coach, connect with me here: https://theheartofconfidence.com/ I would love to continue this conversation-connect with me over on Instagram! This episode is sponsored by http://www.positivevibecoffeeco.com. Enter the code Podcast at checkout, and you’ll get 15% off your first order! FULL SHOW NOTES: https://theheartofconfidence.com/episode127