S10E8: The Allspark Love Hotel

Alright so you've got two guys. One of them is an evil clone controlled by your arch rival. You can't tell which is which. So how do you solve it? Do you A) Question the clones separately based on knowledge only the original would have access to? or B) Have a race and shoot at a rock? The answer may surprise you! This datatrack includes discussion of the following topics; Soundwave's Secret Sons, Megatron's unhealthy obsession with Spike, Starscream's clonelust, Powerglide (who has been here the whole time), mind control (but its ok because the good guys are doing it), Sunstreaker never forgetting big wet things, Gestalt jerkoff philosophy, and Forbidden Devastator Components. Noise Space | Discord

TORQ, generate picture of sexy female robot ninja, purple and black with yellow eyes, sleek silhouette, lots of knives, badass ninja skills, and huge [REDACTED]. This datatrack contains discussion of the following topics; Day of the Machines hitting too close to home, TORQ's battlebots rejects, Skyfire's continuing Busification, smart doorknobs, Doctor Fujiyama (the famous scientist), Nightbird's REAL function, gay coding, Jazz' ninja movie phase, and the question of Nightbird's sentience. Noise Space | Discord

It's ramping up. You may have thought that all of our talk about G1 season 2 being completely cracked was exaggerated. Well now Atlantis has been introduced and destroyed in the same episode. It's also not Atlantis. Worry not, because things only escalate from here. This datatrack contains discussion of the following; AKOM studios dubious reputation, Cybertronian furniture kink, The Device, Spike's invulnerability, national monuments, not-Atlantis, Brawn killing Huffer, and does it still count as found family if you steal them? Also, please fill out our Patreon survey! Thanks! Noise Space | Discord

Is Cliffjumper ok? No. Is it funny that he becomes utterly convinced Mirage is a traitor because he missed one report? Yes. This week we're talking about a couple of fairly iconic episodes. 'Traitor' gave G1 Mirage a bit of ambiguous loyalty that future versions of the character would love to tease, but never fully develop. Meanwhile 'The Immobilizer' is the first of many 'Wheeljack's invention nearly kills everyone' episodes, if you don't count the Dinobots. The following topics are discussed within the following datatrack transmission; killer Among Us strats, Megatron's continually deteriorating plans, Rumble's tiny baby hands, Carly's undying thirst for robots, Wheeljack inventing the Torment Nexus, and why the Decepticons keep the Insecticons around. Noise Space | Discord

Dan from Pod of Greed joins us to talk about two more helpings of good ol' G1 insanity. The Decepticons take over New York by building a city underneath it, and dismember Optimus in some highly confusing ways in order to help their dastardly plan along. Then, using extremely vague technology, Megatron turns a bunch of Autobots into huge jerks, and only the usage of different extremely vague technology can save them. Contained within this datatrack are discussions of the following; Reagan-era TV laws, sewer gators, skyscrapers with STDs, robogore, surgically applied lightsabers, questions about what Bluestreak's deal even is, and ill advised sound system technology. Noise Space | Discord

After a year of back to back viewings of the absolute dregs of this franchise, your intrepid hosts have finally returned to where it all began. The original Transformers cartoon came onto the scene with some big swings in season one, but season two is where the madness really starts. Events discussed within this data transmission include; Frankenstein, dubiously certified doctors, Wheeljack's many crimes, Gears exploring subspace, Huffer getting fired for HR violations, Cliffjumper's thirst for violence, and the amount of cocaine that was fueling the writer's room. Noise Space | Discord

After slogging through perhaps the worst stretch of televised Transformers media there is, your hosts are run ragged. After months of horrible animation, garbled voice acting, braindead plotting, baffling writing, and boring action, we require an extra long break to recover...but when we return, we will be bringing with us Peak Transformers, the ultimate television experience, a cavalcade of light and sound sure to bewilder the senses and tickle the mind. What is it you may ask? Well, maybe you should listen and find out... Noise Space | Discord

What if God was your dead wife? What if your boat learned how to be a man on the internet? What if your Dead God Wife forgave you for being a huge asshole after obliterating an evil future version of you who was an even bigger asshole? What if Cog was the most important guy in the world? What if you could make a big hole? What if you were smooth and purple? What if all of this is just a bad dream? That would be nice, wouldn't it? Noise Space | Discord

Okay so what if God was a cube, right? And then you threw God into space because you were a big huge idiot, and God fell onto a weird dirt planet and started making the Fade from Dragon Age. And then when you went to go find God because throwing God into space really fucked everything up, God was your wife, who is probably dead though you don't actually know, and your God-Wife started beating the shit out of you, but then died again. Would that be weird? I think that would be weird. Noise Space | Discord

Hhhhooooooooo boy where to begin with War For Cybertron Kingdom. Is it better than Earthrise? Absolutely. Is it better than Siege? Debatable. Is it good? Absolutely not. In just two episodes,, this show hits us with the most baffling vocal performances yet, a slew of new old characters to ruin, time travel, even more Airazor disrespect, character arc sparknotes so sloppy it gave us whiplash, and beast modes that somehow don't really look any better than they did in 1996. Also the most incredible IMDB synopsis ever put to screen, and a theory about Waspinator's place in the world. Noise Space | Discord