Prime Cuts

We've finally made it out of the nightmare that was Transformers Energon. Due to various unplanned (and planned) breaks, this season felt like it went on for years. Was it worth it, in the end? Did we learn anything valuable about ourselves, or the franchise we love? Not really. I guess we learned that Kicker is actually an alright character. So join your hosts as they look back on half a year of absolute slop, and look forward to beginning 2025 with a different sort of slop. Don't cry because it's over, smile because THE JERKERRRRRR happened, okay? Noise Space | Discord

IT'S OVER!!! IT'S AAAAALLL OVER! Sometimes it felt like this show would never end, but thankfully all things reach an end. Surprisingly, the last two episodes are better than the show has been in like 20 episodes, which isn't saying much but at least it isn't soul crushing. That doesn't mean we aren't subjected to the usual Energon slop; people becoming huge, deeply confusing monologues, fights with no stakes, and Unicron Orbs. So join us for the last time as we sit down to get fed our weekly helping of gruel. Noise Space | Discord

Folks, the world is always getting worse in new and terrifying ways. It seems every day wee open our eyes to some new kind of fresh hell. But there is one comforting, reliable constant that we can trust to ground us in these trying times; this show blows fucking chunks. As Energon slowly drags itself towards the finish line by making everyone Huge and Ugly, killing off characters at random, developing bizarre new running gags 4 episodes before the end, and just generally being a complete and total waste of time. The good news is that it's almost over. The bad news is theres still two more episodes to watch. Noise Space | Discord

With only eight episodes to go, Transformers Energon manages to slide three of the most annoying characters in franchise history right under the radar. Thankfully they die VERY quickly, but that didn't make their presence any less irritating. Transformers Energon isn't so much racing to a conclusion as it is meandering towards a stoppage. This week we ride the Omega Train, observe sitcom shenanigans from the Decepticons, wonder why these stupid combiners are even here when none of them have done anything, and marvel at Galvatron's quipping skills. Only two weeks left, but somehow the worst is yet to come! Noise Space | Discord

After two glorious weeks away, your hosts are back to subject themselves to the inane nonsense of Transformers Energon, and this week it REALLY starts getting to them. Character arcs are being flattened in record time, episodes feel like a meandering fever dream, and something deeply concerning is going on with the Jones family. Even the utterly bizarre tournament episode jammed into the series can't drag the mood out of the gutter. The good news is there are only eight episodes of Energon remaining. The bad news is that there are somehow EIGHT EPISODES of Energon remaining. Help. Noise Space | Discord

Unicron explodes and there are still 14 episodes after that. Transformers Energon truly is the show that never ends, and this week it proves that it still has some terrible, nasty surprises for us. Ugly recolors, FOUR NEW CHARACTERS introduced with only a dozen episodes to go, Optimus Prime taking L after L, strange and garbled dialogue in both versions, Decepticon fart gas, and a Temu version of the final battle from Gurren Lagaan. Anyway, here's like a minute and a half of Optimus groaning and screaming, enjoy! Noise Space | Discord

For once we have a trio of episodes that are packed full of Things Happening, a rarity for Transformers Energon. Alpha Q fucking dies, Megatron gets head, Optimus sets himself on fire for no reason, Omega Supreme becomes Optimus' skinsuit, Shockblast becomes large, Shockblast dies badly, Optimus punches Ironhide in the face, everybody gets new colors, and Optimus becomes REALLY huge. Of course, just because things happened doesn't mean they weren't boring and stupid, but you can't win em all. Noise Space | Discord

Regardless of what version of the show one is watching, some pretty dramatic stuff happened last time. Which is why its incredible bizarre that the first of our two episodes today is mostly about a goofy race on a highway planet? We spend most of our time on that episode because frankly the other one we watched was duller than dirt. At least the race one has weird gags, car crashes, and Optimus acting like a complete fucking freak. Noise Space | Discord

While Audrey is off enjoying a birthday break from the drudgery of Transformers Energon, Nero is here to tell you about the lost episode of the show, and by 'lost' we mean 'they literally didn't dub this one for no discernible reason'. And that's pretty bad, because its a big episode for Scorponok, Ironhide, and Alpha Q, and its absence opens a minefield of plot holes that the dub never really bothers to fix. Noise Space | Discord

This week we wrap up yet another underwhelming and undercooked character arc, this time about Inferno's struggles with Decepticonification. The cast continues to balloon beyond their capacity to make any of the characters interesting or distinct, and that's when the dub can actually keep their names straight, but we sure to have a kooky old coot with hips that don't quit. The only morsel we have to hold on to during these dark times is the Scorponok and Alpha Q old man yaoi. Also, Audrey unleashes a powerful psychic attack on Nero by bringing up the ancient texts. Noise Space | Discord