The Pick Me Culture: Why Women Are Still Expected to Be Chosen

What Would Really Happen If Men Respected Women?What if respect wasn’t something men said—but something they did?What would it look like if women were seen not as helpers, healers, or background support—but as full, complex human beings with their own ambitions, emotions, and needs?In this episode, we’re not just questioning gender roles. We’re peeling back the layers of performance, politeness, and patriarchy—and asking the questions that don’t usually get airtime.You’ve heard men say they respect women.But what does that really mean?And more importantly—what happens when they don’t?This episode isn’t about surface-level answers. It’s about the quiet truths no one wants to name.To the contradictions in modern relationships.To the biology excuses.To the marriages where “partnership” is just another word for sacrifice.We’re challenging the entire framework—power, pleasure, performance..#RespectWomen #PickMeCulture #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #Patriarchy #EmotionalLabor #WomensRights #ModernRelationships #ReclaimYourVoice #RadicalEmpathy #GenderRoles #ToxicMasculinityAdditional Reading: OECD ReportTitle: Man Enough? Measuring Masculine Norms to Promote Women’s EmpowermentKey finding:"Men can feel threatened by increases in women's relative independence and resort to physical violence to re-establish their dominance and control in the household."Source: OECD, 2021Link: https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/man-enough-measuring-masculine-norms-to-promote-women-s-empowerment_6ffd1936-en.htmlUN Women BriefingTitle: The Manosphere Is No Joke: UN Women Explains WhyKey insight:UN Women discusses how the rise of misogynistic online spaces is directly linked to backlash against women's empowerment and increased visibility.Source: UN Women, 2025Link: https://www.unwomen.org/en/news-stories/media-advisory/2025/05/the-manosphere-is-no-joke-un-women-explains-whyWorld Economic Forum ArticleTitle: Do Successful Female Leaders Have to Deal with Intimidated Men?Key finding:"Men act more aggressively toward hypothetical female bosses... likely because they feel challenged by the women's authority."Source: World Economic Forum, 2015Link: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2015/07/do-successful-female-leaders-have-to-deal-with-intimidated-men/🔗 Explore More:🌐 Visit the Website:https://movingforwardafterabuse.comExplore free resources, articles, survivor tools, and deep-dive content to help you reclaim your power and heal from narcissistic abuse.📚 Read the Books by Lynn:https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/books-by-lynn/Check out Lynn’s powerful books on narcissistic abuse recovery, manipulation tactics, and the emotional journey of healing. Perfect for survivors ready to take their next step.💡 Want to support the show?Leave us a tip!🎁 Tip Jar: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📝 Leave a Review:If this episode brought you clarity or comfort, leave a quick review on your favorite podcast app. It helps others find us and keeps the message spreading.Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful follow-up episode of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, Lynn dives deeper into the devastating cost of the Pick Me mindset—and how it continues to shape women’s lives in ways we often don’t realize until much later.We’re not just talking about relationships anymore. We’re talking about ambition. Burnout. Sisterhood. Identity. And money.Because the Pick Me culture doesn’t just ask women to be agreeable—it asks them to be invisible. It teaches them to shrink in boardrooms, overextend in relationships, compete in silence, and base their worth on being chosen. But what does that actually cost us?In this episode, you’ll learn how this mindset:Undermines women’s confidence and career advancementNormalizes unpaid emotional labor in romantic and social relationshipsBreeds quiet competition instead of community between womenGradually erodes your sense of self and replaces it with performanceReinforces the idea that financial freedom is optional, instead of essentialLynn exposes how the Pick Me mindset is more than a social dynamic—it’s a system. One that thrives on silence, self-abandonment, and suppression. And breaking it isn’t just personal healing—it’s an act of resistance.This episode invites you to ask harder questions:Who are you if you stop performing for approval?What happens when you stop waiting to be picked—and start choosing yourself?Why is emotional labor expected from women… but never paid for?How have we been conditioned to fear money, while still being expected to manage everything else for free?Whether you're rebuilding after narcissistic abuse, reevaluating your own belief systems, or simply tired of holding everything together, this conversation is for you.It’s time to stop measuring your worth by how well you fit into a patriarchal mold—and start reclaiming the parts of you that were never supposed to be small.Mentioned in this episode:Emotional labor and financial disempowermentWorkplace inequality and under-recognitionIdentity loss through people-pleasing and social survivalHow systemic conditioning mirrors the dynamics of abuse🎧 Listen now to break the silence, unravel the mindset, and take the first step forward.Catch the Video Here: https://youtu.be/AFJxRQhvKe4🔗 Explore More:🌐 Visit the Website:https://movingforwardafterabuse.comExplore free resources, articles, survivor tools, and deep-dive content to help you reclaim your power and heal from narcissistic abuse.📚 Read the Books by Lynn:https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/books-by-lynn/Check out Lynn’s powerful books on narcissistic abuse recovery, manipulation tactics, and the emotional journey of healing. Perfect for survivors ready to take their next step.💡 Want to support the show?Leave us a tip 🎁 Tip Jar: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📝 Leave a Review:If this episode brought you clarity or comfort, leave a quick review on your favorite podcast app. It helps others find us and keeps the message spreading.📣 Share the Podcast: Tag us on social media @waketheelephant Financial Independence Retire Early: Change Your Future One Simple Step at a Time - Get it HereNarcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why are women still expected to be chosen—and not the ones doing the choosing? In this powerful episode of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, host Lynn breaks down the cultural conditioning, historical oppression, and emotional grooming that built what we now recognize as the Pick Me Culture.This isn’t just a meme or a trend. It’s a deeply ingrained belief system passed down through generations, subtly shaping how women view their worth, their relationships, and their role in the world. From patriarchal programming to narcissistic abuse dynamics, we unpack how the Pick Me mindset primes women to accept control, dismiss red flags, and shrink themselves to fit into systems built to keep them small.In this episode, we explore:How the Pick Me Culture evolved and why it still existsThe historical roots of marriage, survival, and female dependenceWhy language like “unmarried” still reinforces outdated normsHow societal pressure leads women to prioritize being wanted over being wholeThe connection between being overly agreeable and attracting emotionally manipulative or narcissistic partnersHow cultural systems mirror narcissistic abuse through gaslighting, self-abandonment, and identity erasureThe quiet stigma that still surrounds single, autonomous womenWhy women are conditioned to define themselves through men—and how we can begin to undo thatWe discuss how girls were not raised to lead, build, or dream—but to wait. Wait to be picked. Wait to be chosen. Wait to become “someone’s” wife, partner, or mother. And how that wait becomes a trap—one that sets the stage for exploitation, emotional manipulation, and relationship trauma.This episode is essential listening for survivors of narcissistic abuse, women in the process of deconstructing patriarchy, and anyone beginning to notice the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways that gender roles, social validation, and emotional labor intersect to hold women back.We don’t just talk about dating or marriage—we talk about survival systems, identity formation, power dynamics, and the psychological costs of being raised to please. Whether you’re child-free, single, divorced, partnered, or in the thick of rediscovering yourself, this episode will resonate deeply with your journey.🎧 Listen in to reclaim your voice, rebuild your self-worth, and remember this:You were never meant to be picked. You were meant to be free.🔗 Explore More:🌐 Visit the Website:https://movingforwardafterabuse.comExplore free resources, articles, survivor tools, and deep-dive content to help you reclaim your power and heal from narcissistic abuse.📚 Read the Books by Lynn:https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/books-by-lynn/Check out Lynn’s powerful books on narcissistic abuse recovery, manipulation tactics, and the emotional journey of healing. Perfect for survivors ready to take their next step.💡 Want to support the show?Leave us a tip to help keep the podcast going—ad-free and unapologetic.🎁 Tip Jar: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📝 Leave a Review:If this episode brought you clarity or comfort, leave a quick review on your favorite podcast app. It helps others find us and keeps the message spreading.📣 Share the Podcast:Tag us on social media @waketheelephant or send this episode to someone who needs it. You never know who’s waiting to hear these words today.Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the patriarchy isn’t just upheld by men? What if the voices enforcing it are sometimes women’s—your friends, your coworkers, your mother, or even...your own?In this powerful episode of the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, Lynn dives deep into the uncomfortable truth that many women, often unknowingly, support the very systems designed to hold them back. From internalized misogyny to the relentless pursuit of male approval, we break down how women are conditioned to uphold the patriarchy—and how we can begin to break free.You’ll hear raw reflections on:The social programming that trains women to prioritize everyone but themselves“Pick Me” behavior and how it derails collective empowermentThe glorification of male validation and how it steals women’s autonomySubtle ways women judge and police one another to stay “in line”How traditional gender roles keep women stuck in emotional labor and self-erasureSigns of internalized misogyny you may not realize you’ve adoptedThis is not about blaming women. It’s about reclaiming power—and waking up to the unconscious beliefs that keep us small. As always, we keep it real, reflective, and focused on growth.Whether you're healing from narcissistic abuse, unpacking cultural conditioning, deconstructing the patriarchy, or exploring feminist recovery work, this episode will resonate deeply.Catch the VIdeo: https://youtu.be/vOLaTYun1Hs🔗 Explore More:🌐 Visit the Website:https://movingforwardafterabuse.comExplore free resources, articles, survivor tools, and deep-dive content to help you reclaim your power and heal from narcissistic abuse.📚 Read the Books by Lynn:https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/books-by-lynn/Check out Lynn’s powerful books on narcissistic abuse recovery, manipulation tactics, and the emotional journey of healing. Perfect for survivors ready to take their next step.💡 Want to support the show?Leave us a tip to help keep the podcast going—ad-free and unapologetic.🎁 Tip Jar: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📝 Leave a Review:If this episode brought you clarity or comfort, leave a quick review on your favorite podcast app. It helps others find us and keeps the message spreading.📣 Share the Podcast:Tag us on social media or send this episode to someone who needs it. You never know who’s waiting to hear these words today.Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if misogyny isn’t just a behavior but a rite of passage into manhood? In this thought-provoking episode of Moving Forward with Hope - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, host Lynn delves into the cultural roots of masculinity, exploring how societal norms subtly and overtly embed misogyny into everyday life. From unspoken male bonds to institutionalized systems of control, this episode challenges the narratives we’ve accepted for generations and calls for a new way forward. Tune in to uncover the layers and rewrite the story for future generations.Are you enjoying our podcast? If so, leave us a positive review!Support our Podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephantVisit our website: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/Want to be a guest on our show? https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/podcast/Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if the obstacles in your healing journey weren’t just in your mind, but also stored within your body? In this episode of Moving Forward with Hope - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, host Lynn uncovers how trapped energy can silently shape your recovery process. From unexpected physical symptoms to the profound mind-body connection, we’re exploring what it means to truly heal—inside and out. Tune in and discover insights that could change the way you approach your healing.Referenced: Stages of Grief and Loss https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/7-stages-of-grief/Are you enjoying our podcast? If so, leave us a positive review! Support our Podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant Visit our website: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/Want to be a guest on our show? https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/podcast/Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What does it mean for women to embrace ambition unapologetically? In this episode of Moving Forward with Hope - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast, we explore how societal norms have long stifled women’s aspirations—and why it’s time to break free. Host Lynn delves into the courage it takes to dream big, even when setbacks arise, and shares empowering insights to help listeners reclaim their voice and goals. Tune in for a conversation that challenges stereotypes and inspires action.Are you enjoying our podcast? If so, leave us a positive review! Support our Podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant Visit our website: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/Want to be a guest on our show? https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/podcast/Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Moving Forward with Hope – Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast offers a thoughtful and authentic exploration of toxic relationships and the often-hidden dynamics of narcissistic abuse. We examine the complexities of narcissistic family systems—going no contact, the scapegoat and golden child roles, and the profound pain of ostracization—while providing pathways toward healing and self-discovery.Join our Podcast: Moving Forward with Hope – Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastOur work extends beyond personal relationships to explore how narcissism is woven into broader cultural systems, institutions, and structures like the patriarchy. By addressing gender roles, equality, and other often-overlooked topics, we aim to shed light on how these dynamics shape our lives and relationships.Are you enjoying our podcast? If so, leave us a positive review!Support our Podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephantVisit our website: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/Want to be a guest on our show? https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/podcast/This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please seek help from a qualified professional or contact a local crisis hotline.Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In a world where women have often been conditioned to hope for change rather than lead it, this episode explores the radical shift required for empowerment. What does it mean to embrace self-reliance, advocate boldly, and cultivate resilience in the face of systemic inequality? Discover how rejecting societal expectations and redefining personal goals can create profound strength and community. Join Lynn as she delves into the practical, emotional, and collective strategies women need to move forward — no longer waiting but building a future on their own terms.https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/withheld-from-women/Get the Book Here: Amazon Affiliate Link - we may earn a commission, https://amzn.to/3OlCUT4Visit our website for more information and resources: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/Are you enjoying our podcast? If so, leave us a positive review! Support our Podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s almost funny — if it weren’t so revealing. Whenever tactics are highlighted about the harmful dynamics or systemic inequalities that women face, certain men’s responses follow a script as predictable as sunrise. Dismiss, deflect, deny, shift blame — these tactics reveal not just a refusal to engage meaningfully, but an active effort to maintain control over the narrative.Why do men so often resort to these same predictable responses? From dismissing women’s concerns as exaggerated to weaponizing their lack of empathy and blaming women for their own struggles, these patterns tell a much larger story about the dynamics of power and resistance to change.In this episode, Lynn unpacks the most common tactics men use to respond to discussions about patriarchy, inequality, and systemic issues. We’ll explore why these responses are not random, but rather calculated efforts to maintain dominance and avoid accountability. From emotional dismissal to reframing arguments, the underlying intent is clear but you decide!Join us as we break down the script men seem to follow — and examine why it’s time to stop letting these patterns derail conversations about progress and equality. Are you enjoying our podcast? If so, leave us a positive review! Support our Podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant Visit our website: https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/🔗 Explore More:🌐 Visit the Website:https://movingforwardafterabuse.comExplore free resources, articles, survivor tools, and deep-dive content to help you reclaim your power and heal from narcissistic abuse.📚 Read the Books by Lynn:https://movingforwardafterabuse.com/books-by-lynn/Check out Lynn’s powerful books on narcissistic abuse recovery, manipulation tactics, and the emotional journey of healing. Perfect for survivors ready to take their next step.💡 Want to support the show?Leave us a tip to help keep the podcast going—ad-free and unapologetic.🎁 Tip Jar: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📝 Leave a Review:If this episode brought you clarity or comfort, leave a quick review on your favorite podcast app. It helps others find us and keeps the message spreading.📣 Share the Podcast:Tag us on social media or send this episode to someone who needs it. You never know who’s waiting to hear these words today.Narcissistic Abuse Recovery PodcastHosted by trauma-informed coach & author Lynn, this podcast helps survivors of narcissistic abuse uncover covert manipulation, set boundaries, and reclaim their voice. From family roles to patriarchy, we explore how personal healing intersects with cultural change.🌐 Links & resources: linktr.ee/lynnnichols☕ Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/waketheelephant📚 Books by Lynn: Overcoming the Devastation of Narcissistic Abuse & Master Manipulators Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.