Do They Want Help or Just an Audience for their Drama and Chaos? [Ep: 811]

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly cleaning up someone else’s mess, but nothing ever changes? In this episode of the Ashley Berges Podcast, I ask: Do the people in your lives really want help, or are they just putting on a show and dragging us into it? I'm breaking down the key indications that someone isn’t ready to change, from blaming others and refusing accountability to projecting their insecurities. I also go into deep explanation on how enabling others keep us stuck and why setting boundaries is essential to protect our energy and our self-worth. These relationships don’t just affect the person stuck in the chaos; they also take a toll on the people around them. As friends or family members, we often spend countless hours trying to fix, advise, or rescue someone, losing sight of our own needs and priorities. The stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion can quietly reshape your life, your relationships, and even your well-being. If you’ve poured your time and love into someone trapped in chaos, this episode will give you clarity and help you stop enabling. If you are currently in a relationship where you are dealing with chaos and drama on a daily basis you can't miss this podcast it will help you!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

You think you’re being supportive. You think you’re being loving. But what if you’re actually regulating everyone else’s emotions? In this podcast, I’m breaking down the difference between healthy emotional support and over-functioning. If you walk into a room and immediately scan for someone’s mood… if you soften your opinions to avoid conflict… if you feel responsible when someone else is upset… this podcast is for you. I'm addressing where this pattern originates, how it connects to codependent programming and trauma bonds, and why enabling can feel like love, even when it keeps you stuck. Most importantly, I’ll explain how to stop carrying emotional weight that was never yours to carry.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

Have you ever tried to talk about something that hurt you, only to walk away feeling guilty, confused, or ashamed? That’s not conflict. It’s DARVO. In this episode, I break down how DARVO works, why it’s so damaging, and how blame gets reversed so the person who speaks up becomes the problem. You’ll learn how to recognize this manipulation pattern, stop gaslighting yourself, and begin trusting your own perceptions again. If every hard conversation ends with you apologizing, this episode is for you.#narcissist #narcissism #narcissistic #bordeline #borderlinepersonailtydisorder #Control #controlling #manipulation #manipulative #DARVO #argument #codependent #codependency #podcast #ashleybergesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

Are you dealing with a lack of motivation, worried about what others think of you, not sure if you have the  the knowledge to be successful, and finding yourself operating more from a place of fear than anything else? It’s time to take a real look at the world and the stage you are on. Are you in your own play? How do you show up in your life? Are you self-sabotaging? Are you playing it safe but hurting yourself in the process? It’s time to ask yourself the deep questions: who’s influencing  your decisions? Are you aware of the inner voice in your head that holds you back and keeps you from self-acceptance? Have you truly examined what you are holding back from in your life and why? I want to keep you safe and sound from regret and this podcast will help you to see the truth and put you into a motivated state of mind. Listen to this podcast once, twice, or three times! It’s time to make positive waves in your life’s play. How does your play go? You are the main character, it’s up to you. How do you show up in your life? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

Do the holidays make you anxious because of one or several toxic family member who always stir things up? This episode is your guide to taking your power and peace back. I'm breaking down how to use the Yellow Rock method to stay calm, how to avoid getting triggered, and how to redirect conversations without revealing personal information that can be used against you. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, manage emotional triggers, know when to walk away, and leave the gathering on a high note. These powerful tools will help protect your energy, enjoy the people who actually support you, and reclaim a joyful holiday experience.#narcissism #narcissistic #narcissist #toxicrelationships #holiday #gaslighting #manipulation #greyrock #control #yellowrock #podcast #christmas #thanksgiving #familydynamicBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

Are you stuck in a relationship where giving feels endless and love feels conditional? In this episode, I explore how codependency, future faking, and patterns learned from our family dynamic can keep us trapped, and how alcohol, drugs, and distractions reinforce the cycle. Sobriety isn’t just about quitting substances; it’s about gaining clarity, recognizing your value, and understanding your relationships for what they truly are. When you remove the brain fog, you stop believing the lies, see through the future faking, identify the false hope, and see the manipulation for what it is.  When we are sober are able to stand up for ourselves in a more solid and consistent way, better at setting healthy boundaries, and we are able to gain confidence and a better overall self-esteem. #narcissisim #narcissistic #sobriety #toxicrelationships #clarity #futurefaking #falsehope #manipulation #gaslighting #borderline #covertnarcissist #malignantnarcississt Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

Have you ever found yourself waiting for something that never materializes, perhaps a trip, a proposal, or a promise that keeps getting pushed back to someday? In today's podcast, I’m explaining what future faking really is and how it traps you in a cycle of false hope and emotional exhaustion. I’ll share how narcissists and emotionally unavailable people use this tactic to keep you hooked and how to see through the illusion, finally. It’s time to take your power back and stop waiting for others to change. #narcissistic #narcissism #malignantnarcissist #covertnarcissist #manipulation #deception #gaslighting #futurefaking #redflags #codependent #redflagsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

The word narcissist and the concept of narcissism is brought constantly in our society. However, narcissism isn’t one size fits all, there are different types of narcissism. The five common types of narcissism are overt, covert, vulnerable, communal, antagonistic, and malignant. The most dangerous form of narcissism is malignant narcissism.  Malignant narcissism and sociopaths, antisocial personality disorder, have a lot of signs in common. These types of people thrive on control, creating fear, and emotional manipulating and gaslighting their victims. . These types of relationships often begin with love bombing and charm before gradually turning into uncertainty, loneliness, and confusion. This episode will give you a clear perspective if you've ever had to walk on eggshells, kept quiet to maintain peace, or doubted your own reality. I'll explain the tactics used by malignant narcissists and sociopaths, such as gaslighting, love bombing, and emotional blackmail, and why it can be so difficult to escape their cycle. You'll learn how to recognize their toxic patterns, how to work on maintaining composure, and how to reclaim your sense of identity. Once you understand what is really happening, you can stop trying to fix them and start focusing on healing yourself.  Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

Losing a pet to death of their body is painful and you may feel lonely because others don’t understand the bond and connection. They don’t understand the love and connection you had with this being. People say things like, they were ready to go, and other say it was just their time, they think they are being accurate and helpful but neither one of the comments bare any truth. The truth is that their body failed them, whether it be environmental, food, or organ failure, their body stopped working. Whether it was medicine, poor dietary value, breed specific issue, etc, your dog or cat was not wanting to leave you. Much like the elderly grandmother of 90 years old who loves playing with her grandkids, she doesn’t just stop wanting to see her grandkids and say well I am ready to go. No, she was pulled from her life because of her body failure just like our dogs and cats are pulled from their life. If you see your dog or cat or pig as your best friend, a kindred spirit, and your soul family you can’t miss this podcast. This podcast will fuel your heart and remind you or awaken you to the truth within your heart and spirit. I recorded this podcast the day after Buddy's body failed him on August 22, 2025.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.

The loss of a pet to some people is just that, a loss of a pet. But for some of us the loss of a pet is the loss of a child. When you don’t have children, your dog or cat is your child. The connection and bond is strong and takes work, consistency, and dedication. Buddy has been with me for 15 years, he is my child. I have friends that have children and they do love their dogs but not to the same degree. The love for them is strong but not nearly as strong when they are your children. Many people don’t understand the bond, they have never experienced this type of bond with an animal. When a dog is your child and they pass to the spirit realm, it is like putting your first born in the grave. It is not like a mere passing of a nonhuman being. There is something that still exists within our society that deems dogs and cats as pets not our beloved family. Buddy’s body stopped working on August 22, 2025 and in this podcast I discuss my truth, emotions, and the feelings of losing Buddy. It’s time to have the real discussion of love and bond with our dog or cat. This podcast was recorded the morning after his body stopped working.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-ashley-berges-show--1272964/support.