Reflect Forward podcast

The Mirror Test Are You the Leader You Think You Are?

0:00
20:15
15 Sekunden vorwärts
15 Sekunden vorwärts
The mirror test is the hardest and most revealing challenge you will ever face as a leader. It forces you to confront the gap between who you believe you are and how others actually experience you. Most leaders avoid that truth. The best ones run toward it. As leaders rise, fewer people are willing to give honest feedback. According to organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich, 95 percent of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10 to 15 percent actually are. That gap is where most leadership breakdowns begin. I share two personal stories that shaped my understanding of the mirror test. The first came through 360 feedback, when I learned that my tone sometimes made people feel unsafe speaking up. I was shocked. There is a biological reason for this. Bone conduction softens the sound of your own voice inside your head, which means you hear yourself calmer and gentler than others do. My intent and impact were misaligned, and I had to recalibrate how I communicated. The second story is about my evolution as a leader. I no longer need to win every argument. I care more about impact and alignment. But my team was still reacting to an older version of me. Internal change matters only if people can feel it or understand it. I needed to articulate what winning means for me now and how I want conversations and debates to feel going forward. I also explore the four most common leadership blind spots—ego, defensiveness, inconsistency, and avoidance—and how these patterns quietly undermine trust, influence, and team performance when left unchecked. From there, I walk through a simple four-step reflection framework that helps leaders realign their intention and impact. The Four-Step Reflection Framework 1. Name the pattern Identify exactly what you do when you are not at your best. No story. No justification. Just the behavior. 2. Look at the impact Ask who experiences the fallout and how it affects trust, performance, and culture. 3. Ask for feedback Accept that you cannot always see yourself clearly. Invite two or three people you work closely with to share how they experience your tone, energy, presence, listening, and consistency. Treat their input as data, not judgment. 4. Choose the correction Define what your highest self would do instead. Pick one specific behavior to practice for the next ten days and share your commitment with someone who can help hold you accountable. Mic Drop Moments • Growth does not matter if no one can feel the change. Leadership is defined by how people experience you, not how you think you show up. • If you refuse to look in the mirror, your team ends up carrying the weight of the truth you are unwilling to face. • You are not judged by your intentions. You are judged by your impact. Leaders who forget that slowly lose the room. • Self-awareness is not a trait. It is a choice. Every day you avoid the mirror, you choose stagnation over growth. Key Takeaways • You cannot outlead your own self-awareness. • Most leaders dramatically overestimate their level of self-awareness. • Ego, defensiveness, inconsistency, and avoidance are patterns—not flaws—and they can be changed once you see them clearly. • The four-step reflection framework gives you a discipline to correct your behavior and improve your impact. • True transformation begins when you choose to lead the person in the mirror first. Connect with Kerry Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok! Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/ Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/

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