395- You’re Doing Everything "Right"-- So Why Isn’t It Working? with Diane Toups Goyette, MA

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today’s episode is part of our summer series, Honoring the Individual. Over the next few months, we’ll be revisiting some of our favorite conversations—episodes that remind us of a core truth: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting children. Every child experiences the world differently, and the need beneath a behavior is as individual as the child themselves. Today I’m joined by parenting coach and author Mary Van Geffen, whose book Parenting a Spicy One is part memoir, part survival guide, and completely validating for the parents who feel like they’re doing everything “right” and still getting steamrolled by meltdowns, back talk, and constant negotiating. Mary brings humor, honesty, and so many practical tools to this conversation—and I think it’s one that so many of us need right now.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Mary: Instagram: @maryvangeffen Website: https://www.maryvangeffen.com/ Order the book: Parenting a Spicy One Or, Preorder here to access Mary’s Affirmations Masterclass and the Meltdown Meditations for Moms: https://www.maryvangeffen.com/parentingaspicyonebook Are you a spicy one quiz: Here Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today’s episode is part of our Summer Series, Honoring the Individual. Over the next few months, we’ll be revisiting some of our favorite conversations—episodes that remind us of a core truth: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting children. Every child experiences the world differently, and the need beneath a behavior is as individual as the child themselves.Today we are revisiting the episode that, honestly, if you're gonna listen to one episode of this podcast ever, I hope it's this one. This is so key to understanding self-care, to understanding self-regulation, to understanding how your child regulates and what's regulating versus dysregulating for them. All right, folks, let's dive in. Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about what’s actually behind behavior.In this episode, I’m joined by Diane Goyette, and we’re digging into the shift from trying to manage behavior to truly understanding it. We talk about what kids are communicating through their actions, how nervous system needs show up in everyday moments, and why so many of the strategies we were taught just don’t work for every child.We also get into what this looks like in real life, from sensory needs and neurodivergence to those chaotic, get-out-the-door mornings where it’s hard to slow down and see what’s actually going on.If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the “right” things and it’s still not working, this conversation will help you zoom out and look at behavior through a different lens.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about a small, doable habit that can have a meaningful impact on kids’ mental health.In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Sarah Tannenbaum from The Baker Center for Children and Families, and we’re breaking down a simple 5-minute practice that supports connection, builds emotional resilience, and helps kids feel seen and safe in their everyday lives. We talk about why these small moments matter so much, especially in the middle of busy days, and how to make this feel realistic, not like one more thing on your list.If you’ve been wondering how to support your child’s mental health without overhauling everything, this conversation is a really approachable place to start.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Dr. Sarah Tannenbaum: Website: https://www.bakercenter.org/ Instagram: @bakercntr CET program Fearless Friends Summer Program  Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention when we think about becoming parents.We spend so much time preparing for the baby—reading the books, building the registry, thinking about birth—but not nearly as much time preparing for what it actually feels like to become a parent.In this episode, I’m joined by Nina Spears, and we’re digging into what it really looks like to prepare for pregnancy, birth, and those early postpartum days in a way that goes beyond information and into real-life support.We talk about why so many of us go into parenthood expecting to be in control—and what happens when we realize we’re not, how pregnancy can actually be a time to build the skills we’ll rely on later, and why things like nervous system awareness, communication, and flexibility matter more than any perfect plan.We also get into the pressure parents carry to “get it right,” how to shift out of that, and what it looks like to advocate for yourself so you can show up for your family in a way that feels grounded and sustainable.If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll figure it out when the baby gets here,” or you’re in the thick of early parenthood wondering why it feels harder than expected, this one’s for you.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Nina: Instagram: @thebabychick Website: baby-chick.com Order the book:The Baby Chick Guide to Positive Pregnancy Podcast: Chick Chat Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re diving into what’s really happening in those moments where you snap, shut down, or react in a way you never thought you would. Not because you don’t care. Not because you don’t know what to do. But because your capacity is maxed out. I’m joined by Dr. Cassidy Freitas, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Mom Needs a Moment, and we’re unpacking the shame spiral that so many parents fall into, and why understanding your own limits is actually a critical part of showing up for your kids. We talk about what it looks like to take space without guilt, how shame keeps us stuck while guilt can actually guide us, and why repair matters more than getting it right in the moment. We also get into how our own childhood experiences show up in our parenting, especially in the moments that feel the most charged. This isn’t about becoming a perfect parent. It’s about understanding what’s happening inside you so you can respond with more clarity, more intention, and a whole lot more compassion. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Dr. Cassidy: Instagram: @drcassidy Website: www.drcassidymft.com Order the book: Mom Needs a Moment Podcast: Holding Space Dr. Cassidy’s therapy practice provides individual and couples therapy to parents in California and New York. To learn more and book a free consult please visit: https://www.drcassidymft.com/ Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something I see in almost every classroom I walk into: calm corners.They’re everywhere. And on paper, they make a lot of sense. But in practice? A lot of teachers are telling me the same thing: it’s not working.In this episode, I’m joined by Sarah Habib, and we’re breaking down why. We talk about the biggest mistakes we make when setting up calm corners, why tools alone don’t change behavior, and what kids actually need in order to use those spaces in a meaningful way.We get into pre-teaching, modeling, and why this work has to go beyond the classroom and include families too. And we talk about what it looks like to build regulation skills in a way that actually sticks.If you’ve ever set something up with the best intentions and then wondered why it’s not landing, this one’s going to give you a really clear path forward.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Sarah: Instagram: @thecalmcaterpillar Website: thecalmcaterpillar.com Podcast: Kid Development Network Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something I think so many of us are feeling right now: life is hard. And not in a “just think positive” kind of way-- In a real, full, sometimes overwhelming kind of way. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Rachel, and we’re diving into how we can acknowledge that reality without getting stuck there. We talk about the difference between toxic positivity and actually supporting ourselves through hard moments, how our thoughts shape how we feel and what we do next, and why you don’t have to overhaul your entire life to start feeling better. This conversation is really about coming back to what’s actually in your control, building a toolbox that works for you, and taking one small, doable step at a time. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Dr. Rachel: Instagram: @DrRachelNYC Website: www.DrRachelNYC.com Order the book: When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before we dive in: the breakdown of this episode includes a discussion of sexual assault. Please take care while listening. You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today I’m joined by Rebecca Geshuri to talk about something that shows up in motherhood whether we realize it or not: all of our different parts. We get into Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and how the different parts of us—like the anxious part, the perfectionist part, or the “I’m not good enough” part—can take over in parenting. We talk about why motherhood brings these parts to the surface so quickly, how social and internal pressures amplify them, and what it actually looks like to meet those parts with curiosity instead of trying to push them away. This conversation is about understanding yourself in a deeper way so you can show up with more calm, more compassion, and more connection, both for your kids and for yourself. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Rebecca: Instagram: @rebeccageshurilmft Website: rebeccageshurilmft.com, secondstreetcollective.org Order the book: When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide For Transforming Guilt, Anxiety, and Anger into Compassion, Confidence, and Connectedness Postpartum Support International (PSI): https://postpartum.net Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today I’m joined by Erin Walsh to talk about something so many of us are navigating in real time: kids, screens, and the social world they’re growing up in. We get into what’s actually happening beneath the surface when kids feel left out, why social media raises the stakes during adolescence, and how tech can amplify the skill gaps that kids are still building. We also talk about what the research really says about online risks, from body image to unwanted contact, and how to stay connected with our kids without turning every conversation into a lecture. This episode is a grounded, practical look at how to support kids through a digital world that wasn’t built with their development in mind, while still protecting connection along the way. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Erin: Instagram: instagram.com/sparkandstitch Website: sparkandstitchinstitute.com Order the book: It's Their World First Device Guide PDF: Here  Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices