392- The Mental Load, the Shame Spiral, and What Actually Helps, with Dr. Cassidy Freitas, MFT

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention when we think about becoming parents.We spend so much time preparing for the baby—reading the books, building the registry, thinking about birth—but not nearly as much time preparing for what it actually feels like to become a parent.In this episode, I’m joined by Nina Spears, and we’re digging into what it really looks like to prepare for pregnancy, birth, and those early postpartum days in a way that goes beyond information and into real-life support.We talk about why so many of us go into parenthood expecting to be in control—and what happens when we realize we’re not, how pregnancy can actually be a time to build the skills we’ll rely on later, and why things like nervous system awareness, communication, and flexibility matter more than any perfect plan.We also get into the pressure parents carry to “get it right,” how to shift out of that, and what it looks like to advocate for yourself so you can show up for your family in a way that feels grounded and sustainable.If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll figure it out when the baby gets here,” or you’re in the thick of early parenthood wondering why it feels harder than expected, this one’s for you.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Nina: Instagram: @thebabychick Website: baby-chick.com Order the book:The Baby Chick Guide to Positive Pregnancy Podcast: Chick Chat Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re diving into what’s really happening in those moments where you snap, shut down, or react in a way you never thought you would. Not because you don’t care. Not because you don’t know what to do. But because your capacity is maxed out. I’m joined by Dr. Cassidy Freitas, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Mom Needs a Moment, and we’re unpacking the shame spiral that so many parents fall into, and why understanding your own limits is actually a critical part of showing up for your kids. We talk about what it looks like to take space without guilt, how shame keeps us stuck while guilt can actually guide us, and why repair matters more than getting it right in the moment. We also get into how our own childhood experiences show up in our parenting, especially in the moments that feel the most charged. This isn’t about becoming a perfect parent. It’s about understanding what’s happening inside you so you can respond with more clarity, more intention, and a whole lot more compassion. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Dr. Cassidy: Instagram: @drcassidy Website: www.drcassidymft.com Order the book: Mom Needs a Moment Podcast: Holding Space Dr. Cassidy’s therapy practice provides individual and couples therapy to parents in California and New York. To learn more and book a free consult please visit: https://www.drcassidymft.com/ Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something I see in almost every classroom I walk into: calm corners.They’re everywhere. And on paper, they make a lot of sense. But in practice? A lot of teachers are telling me the same thing: it’s not working.In this episode, I’m joined by Sarah Habib, and we’re breaking down why. We talk about the biggest mistakes we make when setting up calm corners, why tools alone don’t change behavior, and what kids actually need in order to use those spaces in a meaningful way.We get into pre-teaching, modeling, and why this work has to go beyond the classroom and include families too. And we talk about what it looks like to build regulation skills in a way that actually sticks.If you’ve ever set something up with the best intentions and then wondered why it’s not landing, this one’s going to give you a really clear path forward.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Sarah: Instagram: @thecalmcaterpillar Website: thecalmcaterpillar.com Podcast: Kid Development Network Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something I think so many of us are feeling right now: life is hard. And not in a “just think positive” kind of way-- In a real, full, sometimes overwhelming kind of way. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Rachel, and we’re diving into how we can acknowledge that reality without getting stuck there. We talk about the difference between toxic positivity and actually supporting ourselves through hard moments, how our thoughts shape how we feel and what we do next, and why you don’t have to overhaul your entire life to start feeling better. This conversation is really about coming back to what’s actually in your control, building a toolbox that works for you, and taking one small, doable step at a time. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Dr. Rachel: Instagram: @DrRachelNYC Website: www.DrRachelNYC.com Order the book: When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before we dive in: the breakdown of this episode includes a discussion of sexual assault. Please take care while listening. You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today I’m joined by Rebecca Geshuri to talk about something that shows up in motherhood whether we realize it or not: all of our different parts. We get into Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and how the different parts of us—like the anxious part, the perfectionist part, or the “I’m not good enough” part—can take over in parenting. We talk about why motherhood brings these parts to the surface so quickly, how social and internal pressures amplify them, and what it actually looks like to meet those parts with curiosity instead of trying to push them away. This conversation is about understanding yourself in a deeper way so you can show up with more calm, more compassion, and more connection, both for your kids and for yourself. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Rebecca: Instagram: @rebeccageshurilmft Website: rebeccageshurilmft.com, secondstreetcollective.org Order the book: When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide For Transforming Guilt, Anxiety, and Anger into Compassion, Confidence, and Connectedness Postpartum Support International (PSI): https://postpartum.net Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today I’m joined by Erin Walsh to talk about something so many of us are navigating in real time: kids, screens, and the social world they’re growing up in. We get into what’s actually happening beneath the surface when kids feel left out, why social media raises the stakes during adolescence, and how tech can amplify the skill gaps that kids are still building. We also talk about what the research really says about online risks, from body image to unwanted contact, and how to stay connected with our kids without turning every conversation into a lecture. This episode is a grounded, practical look at how to support kids through a digital world that wasn’t built with their development in mind, while still protecting connection along the way. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Erin: Instagram: instagram.com/sparkandstitch Website: sparkandstitchinstitute.com Order the book: It's Their World First Device Guide PDF: Here  Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today I’m joined by Jon Gustin, aka The Tired Dad. In this conversation, we get into what it really looks like to grow into parenthood, not just step into it. We talk about emotional regulation, breaking generational patterns, navigating partnership, and what it takes to show up for your kids in ways many of us didn’t experience growing up. Jon shares openly about his journey, including finding sobriety, and redefining what it means to be an engaged, present parent. This one is honest, grounding, and a reminder that we’re all learning as we go. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Jon: Instagram: @thetireddad Website: https://tireddad.com/ Order the book: The Tired Dad: 100 Reflections on Showing Up for What Matters Most Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re talking about something every parent and educator runs into: what do we actually do when kids have big feelings? In this episode, I’m joined by Jon Fogel, and we’re digging into emotional regulation, what it really looks like to help kids move through disappointment, frustration, fear, and overwhelm, and why we can’t wait until a child is melting down to start teaching those skills. We talk about songs, games, sensory tools, and the power of practicing regulation in calm moments so kids have something to reach for when things get hard. Jon also shares the story behind his new children’s book, Set My Feelings Free, and why giving kids simple, repeatable tools can make such a difference. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Jon: Instagram: @wholeparent Website: wholeparentacademy.com Order the book: Set My Feelings Free Podcast: Whole Parent Podcast Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today I’m joined by Libby Ward—creator, author, and the voice behind Honest Motherhood—and this conversation is the kind that makes you feel a little less alone in your own brain.We’re talking about the mental load of motherhood, the pressure to be productive, and how hard it can be to rest even when your body is asking for it. Libby shares openly about self-doubt, overwhelm, and what it’s looked like to move from doing what she should do to actually listening to what she needs.We get into nervous system support, repair over perfection, and what it means to raise kids differently than we were raised—while still being human in the process.Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Libby: Instagram: @libbyward Website: www.libbyward.com Order the book: Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re listening to Voices of Your Village, and today we’re getting into something that doesn’t get talked about enough in parenting: What happens when our stuff shows up in how we raise our kids. In this episode, I’m joined by Eli Harwood, and honestly, this one felt like part conversation, part therapy session. We’re talking about what it looks like when your child is wired differently than you… and how easy it is to project your own fears, needs, and past experiences onto them without even realizing it. We get into mismatch, anxiety, and those moments where you find yourself thinking, “They need this,” when really… it’s something you needed. Eli breaks down what it actually means to be a secure base for your kids. Not perfect, but steady. Being able to hold their emotions without needing to fix them. And how the real work of parenting is learning how to tolerate our own feelings so we don’t hand them off to our children. If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I messing them up?” or felt that pull between wanting to protect your child and needing to let them be who they are… this episode is for you. Alright folks, let’s dive in. Connect with Eli: Instagram: @attachmentnerd Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/ Order the book: How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don't Have to: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage Podcast: How to Deal  Secure Parent Program: Here Connect with us: Instagram and TikTok: @seed.and.sew  Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: Take the Quiz Order Big Kids, Bigger Feelings now!  Website: seedandsew.org Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/Editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: Ruby Adams and  Bensound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices