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One of the things I miss the most about Nigeria is the road rage, yet itās one of the things that scares me the most about Nigeria.
I of course would rather watch the road rage than even be a teeny bit involved in it. I find it entertaining. And funny. And scary. I know Iām weird.
Anyway. I want you to meet Oga Abdul.
Heās our family driver and heās been with my family for close to 15 years.
Oga Abdul is a no-nonsense driver.
He can navigate and find his way through traffic jams easily, and he doesnāt accept any less than his standard while heās on the road.
Heās on the road to get to his destination fast!
He listens to Berkete Family on the radio while he drives. He is focused. Heās present. And he finds his way āFAST.
If people arenāt driving well enough (to him), he would wind down his window just to do the hand-to-head motion repeatedly and shout out to them: āYou no well!ā or āWetin dey worry you?ā š
Recently I was driving home, and the car in front of me reminded me of Oga Abdul, because the car was almost swerving off the lane.
Oga Abdul would 100% complain about the driver out loud: āAbeg which kind driving be this?ā or āWetin this one dey drive?ā
When I think about Oga Abdul, I think about someone who is known for his One Thing.
He drives well, but thatās not where it stops.
Even though heās a bit extra with the road rage, heās dedicated to his job.
Heās focused, heās always on time, he knows his way around Abuja like the back of his hand, heās available to work extra hours during busy periods like weddings, etc, he makes sure the cars are washed and fuelled, heās respectful, heās trustworthy, and, and, andā¦
And the way Oga Abdul shows up for his driving is how I wished Iād show up for the things that matter most to me.
Without the rage, of course. Lol.
Butā¦ think about it.
What would it look like if we really showed up in our deen? What if we made our deen and everything related to it, a priority? What if we were dedicated and focused and on time with salah, 5 times a day, every single day? What if we refused to accept anything less than excellent in the way we show up in our character, our speech, our actionsā¦ and especially in following the sunnah of the Prophet SAW?
What if we really showed up in our relationships with our parents, spouses, and friends? What if our parents and children and siblings got the best of us, not whatās left over? What if we showed up with Ihsan in these significant relationships?
What if we really showed up in our wealth? In a good way, of course. What if we were so focused on pleasing Allah through our wealth? What if we stopped letting fear, self-doubt, and procrastination control us and keep us B-to-tha-R-to-tha-O-K-E? š
What if we really showed up in our health? What if we turned our backs on junk food (for real this time)? What if we were more consistent with taking care of our bodies, our exercise, our sleep?
I think thereās a part of us - you and me - that can have Oga Abdulās show-up-ness when it comes to the different areas of our lives.
Showing up for what matters is possible for you, dear friend. Itās doable.
You just have to be honest with yourself when answering the question: How much does it *really* matter to me?
Because when something *really* matters, you usually find a way to show up, no matter what, right?Some of us are no-nonsense about social media. That scrolling has to happen every day because āhow can we miss so and soās post?ā
Some of us are no-nonsense about the TV shows and series we watch. That new movie weāve been waiting for ā we watch it the minute itās ready to be watched.
Some of us are no-nonsense about the way we look, the way we dress, the friend circles we hang out inā¦
We DO show up where it matters, and when itās important to us.
This is good and not so good.
Good ā because you know you already have the āshow up muscleā in your body. Not so good ā because perhaps the places youāre exercising your āshow up muscleā right now may not be the thing that matters most to your heart.
This is where reflection and self-accountability come in. You have to ask yourself the hard questions sometimes.
All of the energy youāre putting into that one relationshipā¦ is that where you want to show up? This life youāve been so focused on buildingā¦ is it really what you want for yourself? Is it in alignment with what you want?
Take some time to think about where you already show up with Oga Abdulās seriousness and dedication. And ask yourself if thatās really where you want to use up your (limited) show-up muscles.
If not, is there something else more pressing, like your relationship with the Qurāan or your diet?
Because remember, a muscle grows the more you use it.
Letās carefully choose where we use our show-up muscles, mmmkay?
Love + DuāaMaryam
What Iām up to
Iām not up to much this week. Iām just there, for the most part. Sendhugsthankyou.
But I want to hear from you ā what are you up to? Howās your heart? Whatās on your mind? Whatās been the best part of your day/week so far?
I love reading your replies to my letters btw, so please do write back (or leave a comment) whenever you can.
I read and (try my best to) respond to everything :)
šThank you for reading, and thank you for receiving my words lovingly.If you found any value in todayās Letter, please click the like button, share it with someone who might find it valuable too, or consider becoming a subscriber below.Your support helps me keep creating content for you.
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