Voice Notes from Maryam 💝

Listen to Voice Notes from Maryam 💝 on:Apple Podcasts || SpotifyAssalamu alaykum dear friend!So. This guy. We’ll call him Yahya.He was a family friend. He was (is?) a few years older than me.Our parents had known each other from way back.Fast forward to when I was a teenager, Yahya and I thought we were going to get married one day. #Lolz.It didn’t work out 😅 alhamdulillah!!Fast forward another few years, I got married to my best friend and husband (who some of you have come to know through my writing as Mr. A).That was when Yahya’s mum gave me the most beautiful wedding gift.The gift from his mum was a beautiful, royal blue rug. Turkish style. High quality. Very tush-looking. Soft and lush type.You’ll know it’s not anyone’s level when you see it, lol.The kinda rug you’d want in your home, basically.I loved it (not because it was from Yahya’s mum, of course, but because it was super cute and super high quality).The thing about maybe 80% of my wedding gifts is… I never got to use them because I left my home country the day after I got married, on a 7-hour flight to a whole other continent.I wasn’t about to cargo stuff over to this other continent because 1) hello stress; 2) hello small space; and 3) I had most of what I needed already so our home was furnished and comfortable. Alhamdulillah.Anyway. That rug.I wanted it in my home someday. It was heavy and weirdly shaped (when folded) so it was tricky to travel with it hassle-free.Fast forward to 8 years after our wedding (and after another big move to a whole other continent), my rug came home to me.When we moved to this new continent, I had a “guest room” in the basement that needed a rug, and I wasn’t ready to buy a new rug… so my beautiful rug from Yahya’s mum ended up there.That room is the one room I hardly ever use, but alhamdulillah the rug serves a purpose there.Now… guess who’s planning to move far away (again) and simply can’t take the rug along? Yup.I’ve had the rug for only two years, and it’s already time to say goodbye.Hopefully it’s a temporary goodbye, but who knows?I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling you about Yahya, his mum, and the rug 😅Please hang in there. There’s a 3-part lesson I want to unpack.Lesson 1: If it’s meant for you, Allah will make it find its way to you.I didn’t have to have Yahya in my life to get something beautiful from his mum 😌I didn’t have to be a special character in his mum’s life to get something beautiful from her.It was meant for me, alhamdulillah — and despite my (dramatic) goodbye to her son; despite my globe trotting adventures… Allah made the rug find it’s way to me through his mum.Your attachment and connection and hope should be in Allah alone, and not in things and people and places.Lesson 2: Your rizq is written. Relax.I didn’t think I’d only use the rug for 2 out of my 10 years of being married so far, but perhaps that’s what Allah wanted for me.Maybe I’ll reunite with the rug again, maybe I won’t. And that’s ok.Even though it was my gift and I loved it, and even though it was in my house, I wasn’t the one who used it day to day.Maybe that’s the extent of what was written for me, maybe not. And that’s ok.There will be times when the one thing you waited so long for will come so close, right in front of your eyes…You’ll try to grab it and hold on to it, but it won’t stay in your hands.And that’s ok, especially if you’ve done your part and done it well.Which brings me to the next lesson.Lesson 3: Do your partI could have done things differently to have my rug with me from day 1, but it was never that deep.In your case, if the thing you want so badly is that deep, my gentle and loving question to you is… Have you done your part? Have you done enough?Sometimes we get sad because “but the rizq isn’t coming”… well *hugs* but what have you done to get it?I didn’t make it a point to get the rug earlier because, again, it wasn’t that deep.I didn’t make it a point to keep the rug in my bedroom, or take the rug on my globe trotting adventures.But that’s because the rug, to me, is not worth fighting for like that.This “do your part” reminder applies to the most important things to you.If something matters, don’t sit and wait for it to show up one day.Figure out what’s in your control, get up, and do the thing!"The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: 'The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, "if only I had done such and such" rather say "Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha'a fa'ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does)." For (saying) 'If' opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'"[Sunan Ibn Majah 79]Don’t sit and wait.Don’t sit and wait.Don’t sit and wait.Make the phone call. Hit the ‘publish’ button. Ask the question. Say “I’m Sorry” first. Start the business. Sign up for the class. Register the domain name. Start the conversation.Get up and do the thing!Your future self will be so proud of you.If you’re not sure HOW to get up and do the thing — maybe you’re worried, scared, lack clarity, or maybe you’re not confident enough (yet)… you’re not alone dear friend! I’ve been there so many times too.I don’t know if these feelings ever pass completely, but what I do know is it’s POSSIBLE to give yourself permission to get up and do the thing, despite the inner voices. Gaaah!If you’re feeling the pull to figure things out for yourself in your deen, relationships, health, and wealth, I think you’ll benefit from my free audio-email course: Design Your Life with Du’a.In this free audio-email course, I gently guide you towards getting up and doing the thing through Heartfelt Du’a and Ihsan-Level Action.And oh, you’re so welcome :)Love + Du’a,Maryam This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Listen to this Voice Note from Maryam onApple Podcasts || SpotifyOne of the things I miss the most about Nigeria is the road rage, yet it’s one of the things that scares me the most about Nigeria.I of course would rather watch the road rage than even be a teeny bit involved in it. I find it entertaining. And funny. And scary. I know I’m weird.Anyway. I want you to meet Oga Abdul.He’s our family driver and he’s been with my family for close to 15 years.Oga Abdul is a no-nonsense driver.He can navigate and find his way through traffic jams easily, and he doesn’t accept any less than his standard while he’s on the road.He’s on the road to get to his destination fast!He listens to Berkete Family on the radio while he drives. He is focused. He’s present. And he finds his way —FAST.If people aren’t driving well enough (to him), he would wind down his window just to do the hand-to-head motion repeatedly and shout out to them: “You no well!” or “Wetin dey worry you?” 🙈Recently I was driving home, and the car in front of me reminded me of Oga Abdul, because the car was almost swerving off the lane.Oga Abdul would 100% complain about the driver out loud: “Abeg which kind driving be this?” or “Wetin this one dey drive?”When I think about Oga Abdul, I think about someone who is known for his One Thing.He drives well, but that’s not where it stops.Even though he’s a bit extra with the road rage, he’s dedicated to his job.He’s focused, he’s always on time, he knows his way around Abuja like the back of his hand, he’s available to work extra hours during busy periods like weddings, etc, he makes sure the cars are washed and fuelled, he’s respectful, he’s trustworthy, and, and, and…And the way Oga Abdul shows up for his driving is how I wished I’d show up for the things that matter most to me.Without the rage, of course. Lol.But… think about it.What would it look like if we really showed up in our deen? What if we made our deen and everything related to it, a priority? What if we were dedicated and focused and on time with salah, 5 times a day, every single day? What if we refused to accept anything less than excellent in the way we show up in our character, our speech, our actions… and especially in following the sunnah of the Prophet SAW?What if we really showed up in our relationships with our parents, spouses, and friends? What if our parents and children and siblings got the best of us, not what’s left over? What if we showed up with Ihsan in these significant relationships?What if we really showed up in our wealth? In a good way, of course. What if we were so focused on pleasing Allah through our wealth? What if we stopped letting fear, self-doubt, and procrastination control us and keep us B-to-tha-R-to-tha-O-K-E? 😆What if we really showed up in our health? What if we turned our backs on junk food (for real this time)? What if we were more consistent with taking care of our bodies, our exercise, our sleep?I think there’s a part of us - you and me - that can have Oga Abdul’s show-up-ness when it comes to the different areas of our lives.Showing up for what matters is possible for you, dear friend. It’s doable.You just have to be honest with yourself when answering the question: How much does it *really* matter to me?Because when something *really* matters, you usually find a way to show up, no matter what, right?Some of us are no-nonsense about social media. That scrolling has to happen every day because “how can we miss so and so’s post?”Some of us are no-nonsense about the TV shows and series we watch. That new movie we’ve been waiting for — we watch it the minute it’s ready to be watched.Some of us are no-nonsense about the way we look, the way we dress, the friend circles we hang out in…We DO show up where it matters, and when it’s important to us.This is good and not so good.Good — because you know you already have the “show up muscle” in your body. Not so good — because perhaps the places you’re exercising your “show up muscle” right now may not be the thing that matters most to your heart.This is where reflection and self-accountability come in. You have to ask yourself the hard questions sometimes.All of the energy you’re putting into that one relationship… is that where you want to show up? This life you’ve been so focused on building… is it really what you want for yourself? Is it in alignment with what you want?Take some time to think about where you already show up with Oga Abdul’s seriousness and dedication. And ask yourself if that’s really where you want to use up your (limited) show-up muscles.If not, is there something else more pressing, like your relationship with the Qur’an or your diet?Because remember, a muscle grows the more you use it.Let’s carefully choose where we use our show-up muscles, mmmkay?Love + Du’aMaryamWhat I’m up toI’m not up to much this week. I’m just there, for the most part. Sendhugsthankyou.But I want to hear from you — what are you up to? How’s your heart? What’s on your mind? What’s been the best part of your day/week so far?I love reading your replies to my letters btw, so please do write back (or leave a comment) whenever you can.I read and (try my best to) respond to everything :)💝Thank you for reading, and thank you for receiving my words lovingly.If you found any value in today’s Letter, please click the like button, share it with someone who might find it valuable too, or consider becoming a subscriber below.Your support helps me keep creating content for you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Listen to this Voice Note from Maryam onApple Podcasts || Spotify || YouTubeA lot of people today think that they NEED therapy. This is mainly due to the high-stress lives we’re living, but therapy isn’t a NEED for everyone. It’s a nice-to-have for everyone. In fact, it’s a strong nice-to-have. But is it a NEED? I doubt it is.Now, are there cases where people do NEED therapy? Of course! 100% yes!This voice note is not for those who do need therapy. Please, please seek the help you need from a professional. Ok?This voice note is for the rest of us who think we need therapy.Cool? Cool.Also, by the way, if your primary care provider says you do need therapy but can't afford it yet, journaling can be a great first step.Think you need therapy?So, why do ‘the rest of us’ think we need therapy?* We’re stressed out!!!* Our mental health is lowkey falling apart…* We’re spiralling* We need to process our emotions or unpack stuff, because “what is all this?”* We’re stuck and want to find clarity on our next steps* We want a safe space to feel heard with zero judgmentIf you’re nodding along to these points, this voice note is for you.The power of journalingThe good news is that journaling can help you with all the points above. Here are 6 ways I use journaling to get similar results. Not the same, but similar.* Journaling for Stress ReliefI recently learned that the stress we feel is not always due to the situation at hand. We usually feel stress because we don’t know how to cope. My husband for example is so chill when something happens because he believes most things have a solution, but my brain sees many situations as a threat to my entire existence. What journaling does is, it helps me break down my stressors and see them from a different perspective. Is my homeschool REALLY falling apart? Am I REALLY messing my kids up forever? Is the workload REALLY going to make me lose my mind? Journaling helps me talk back to the stressful situation and channel my inner chill.* Journaling for Mental WellbeingWriting down my thoughts and feelings gives me a clearer picture of my mental state. It’s like having a conversation with myself, and sometimes, that’s all I need to feel a bit better. When I’m feeling stuck and my mental health feels kinda mental, the process of writing things out feels like someone is holding up a mirror to help me see a way out, to remind me to be grateful, to remind me to call on Allah.* Journaling When I’m SpirallingSpiraling is “a cycle of negative thought patterns that can escalate and become overwhelming”. This is my internal state a lot of the time, especially around that time of the month. Before I know it, I’m imagining worst-case scenarios for everything! So when I feel like I’m spiraling, journaling acts as a grounding tool to remind me to be here now. I write and write and write down those overwhelming thoughts, and somehow, writing them down with pen and paper helps me slow down and think more rationally. I usually end the journaling session with “Here’s what I think the problem is, and here’s a solution I could try. Ya Allah, help me…”* Journaling to Process EmotionsI’m usually quiet when I get offended, but my brain does not stop! I have used journaling to unpack some deep feelings of envy, anger, hurt, rejection… We all have those moments when we feel big emotions inside and don’t know what to do with them. Journaling gives me space (and time) to analyze, step-by-step, what’s under the big feelings. A few years ago, I felt envy which I knew had no place in my heart. I was so bothered by it and started journaling. Then I realized I felt envious because there were things I wanted for myself but in reality, I wasn’t working towards those things, so I put my big girl pants on and got to work! And alhamdulillah that’s history now.* Journaling to Find ClarityWhenever I’m stuck or confused about my next steps, about a big decision, about life’s big changes… I turn to my journal. Writing helps me map out my thoughts and make more informed decisions. It slows my thoughts down enough to write out a pros and cons list and then write out the best-case scenario which gives me something to make du’a for.* Journaling When You Need a Safe SpaceMy journal is my safe space and has been ever since I was little. It’s a place where I can be completely honest with myself, without fear of being judged. It’s like having a conversation with a non-judgmental friend. Sometimes when I write my heart out, like the deeper things, I end up ripping up the page afterwards so there’s no trace of it left, haha. Journaling is my go-to because I need safe spaces more often than any human would be comfortable giving me.All of this to say…If you’ve ruled out any mental health crisis where professional help is needed, but you still feel the need to work through stuff, I highly suggest you consider journaling. Therapy and journaling can accomplish similar goals: providing a safe space, being non-judgmental, giving you permission to feel, and offering space to cry.A good therapist doesn’t give you answers or solve your problems, by the way – they believe that you have what it takes to get to the other side, and they support you as you take the steps towards that.Journaling achieves a similar goal!Next stepsIf there’s only one thing you’re taking away from this, please give journaling a try.Start a journaling habit and see how it works for you.Let me know if you’d like a breakdown of HOW I journal, I would love to support you as you start or improve your journaling journey.And hey, you know that friend who’s always stressed out and always in their feelings? I think they’ll like this voice note. Please do share it with them.Thanks for listening! If you found this voice note helpful, please hit the heart or thumbs-up button, and don’t forget to subscribe for more Voice Notes from Maryam.Happy journaling!Love + Du’aMaryamWhat I’m working onBelieve it or not friends, I’m working on putting myself out there a teeny bit more. For now, that looks like speaking on more podcasts! Cue internal screams from the introvert in me.Do you know any cool podcasts you think I’d be a good fit for? If yes, let me know and I’ll reach out to them! Bonus points if you know the podcast host and can do the introduction :)What I’m readingEven though I’m not allowing myself any new books for the rest of 2024, I totally just bought Teaching From Rest because everything about the book speaks to the current state of my homeschool-mama heart.A few days ago, I was doing sit-down work (math) with one of my Littles, and they started crying because they felt pressured! That’s a HUGE homeschool red flag for me, and that tells me it’s time to drop everything and reassess my approach to stuff. It gets hard sometimes but it showed me that I have NOT been teaching my children from a place of rest. I’m looking forward to gaining some perspective from the book inshaAllah.I’m the type of homeschool Mama who panics about falling behind but is also 100% sure they’ll “catch up” inshaAllah. We’ll be alright. Math can wait for a bit inshaAllah. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Assalamu alaykum dear friends! Today’s Letter isn’t actually a letter 🙂 it’s a perfectly imperfect heart-to-heart Voice Note from Maryam!It took multiple attempts to record it… multiple attempts to edit it… and multiple attempts to convince myself to publish it anyway… but Alhamdulillah, we did it!I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts on it in my inbox or the comments inshaAllah.Listen on Spotify | Listen on Apple PodcastsPlease remember me and my family in du’a 🌸Love + Du’a,Maryam This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Assalamu alaykum, friends!_The other day, I picked up my pen (keyboard) and wrote in my journal…“Should I ask Allah to reduce how much I love?”I knew I was hurting inside because… what is this deep question, please? 😆Listen to my Sunday Morning think-out-loud to find out how I’m trying to navigate (instead of fight) my heart for loving a little too deep, too much, too fast._May Allah control all our hearts, forgive our shortcomings, and may He bless us with the best in dunya and akhirah.May Ash-Shakoor help us renew our intentions multiple times every day, and may He save our reward for us.May we be of benefit to the ummah, and may Allah love us, always.Ameen. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Life can throw unexpected challenges our way, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to cope. In this episode, I share a personal journey that starts with a dental appliance and leads to powerful life lessons that apply to us all.Join us as we navigate the emotions of a child struggling with a new dental appliance, and learn valuable insights about patience, trust, and perspective.We draw inspiration from the Quran, reminding ourselves that Allah's wisdom is beyond our comprehension. We explore the importance of staying patient during life's storms and how these trials will eventually lead to growth and appreciation.Whether you're dealing with family challenges, financial difficulties, or career struggles, the 3 tools shared will provide you with the strength to face adversity, bi idhnillah. Remember, Allah won't leave you in pain without reason, and there is goodness in every test He gives us.May Allah grant you patience, ease your burdens, and guide you through every hardship. Ameen!Links:Maktabah (Book Club)Join my Substack newsletterSign up for the 12 Week Du'a Free Crash CourseCome say Salam on Threads This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

Join me on a transformative journey of exploring life from the deep end!In this episode, I share personal stories and reflections on moving beyond the shallow-end mindset. Just like learning to swim confidently, we'll discover how to approach our deen, relationships, health, and wealth with intention and excellence.Discover the power of one stroke at a time, whether it's deepening your faith, nurturing relationships, prioritizing your health, or taking bold steps in your career as a Muslim woman.Life may sometimes challenge us, but with patience and perseverance, we'll dive into the depths of our potential.Like, share, and subscribe for more inspiring content.May Allah bless you with abundance and strength in every aspect of your life. Ameen.* Join my Substack newsletter: https://sistersflourish.substack.com* Sign up for the 12-Week Du'a Free Crash Course: https://www.sistersflourish.com/crashcourse* Come say Salam on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sisters_flourish This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

I went on a scary walk a few days ago.It was an icy winter trail and I was scared to slip and fall.I was scared some animal would come out of the forest and jump at me.It was dark, so I needed a flashlight but my phone battery was low.I wanted others to help me, I could see them, but they were way ahead.My heart was racing, my eyes wide open…Listen to this episode where I share my adventure, but also what I learned.And our Lord is forgiving and merciful ❤️ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

We have a lot of tabs open in our brains all the time.I’m sure we all agree that our brains were not built to take so much pressure, so much workload, so much stress, so much stuff(!)… and to keep all those tabs open in our brains at the same time!This voice note is my invitation to you.Don’t forget to make du’a for the things on your brain-dump list, your today-list, and your right-now list :)Remember, you’re allowed to rest and recharge when you need to.May Allah ease your affairs, beautiful.With lots of love and a truckload of du’aMaryam This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sistersflourish.substack.com