506: Onyx A. revisits

🔸 Judging grace🎓 What I'd like to do differently: I'm off-base when I finish her sentences, but she moves so quickly, I feel like my questions often slow her down, so it’s all I can offer. And I get struck by these feelings of serendipity; like in this call, trying to keep up at top speed but also miraculously not falling, I pictured a couple of squirrels chasing each other in the tree. Then she mentions a tree house, and I have to check if I'm dreaming. And I'm holding back laughter, in wonder at how a squirrel knows where to leap. There are pros and cons to this kind of resonance, at times distracting. But if you notice our work being significantly impaired by it, to please speak up. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Practitioner qualifications🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Talking too much. Sorry, Christine. Semi-IFS calls (when someone wants to talk about a thing, outside of usual IFS schedule) are tricky. Re: "how it feels when mom says…" I felt like protectors wouldn’t let us go there, so I decided to drop it. I chose "return to topic" due to time pressure (she starts her new role like tomorrow!) so I figured we could try to put a bow on that, revisit the deeper stuff In future work. I was feeling strong pull to direct access… I gotta check that inclination of mine. Also I'm aware there's plenty of hard science in psychology and therapy. And I think it’s fair to say that it advances, in practice, by people trying stuff and seeing if it works (difficult to measure). The *most* influential (ie the Buddha) didn't do much publishing, peer review, outcome studies. “Parts are a thing, and I can talk to voices in my head” may always be an instantiated belief, and the anecdotal evidence, the ratio of “things are better” vs “worse” that I hear is sufficient proof for me. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Healthy anger. Explode or do nothing.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 My father: I've had enough / would like some resolution🎓 What I'd like to do differently: The way Steve frequently shares his somatic state is so helpful; something I'm missing by doing audio-only. I should add it to my default, "use anytime" set of questions.Around min 31, I struggled to find the simple question. "How did his being closed minded make you feel silenced?" hmm, no that doesn't capture it…. if I just say "whats the connection…?" that feels too blunt. Maybe I'm working too hard to avoid that. Or maybe I'm noticing Steve can go deep, quick, so I'm avoiding those more open ended questions. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Ah there it is again, this big mound of disappointment in myself-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Nothing I can possibly understand about an abstract fetal part; the root of my anger issues.🎓 What I'd like to do differently: First call at new time slot: 630am (in Vietnam). I stopped offering it after a few months, having become aware of those crafty parts always suggesting any IFS stuff as a fine substitute for my own parts-work. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Another version of me that could be with my mother. 🔹 Parts: P: Membrane, buffer. Doing the job of creating another me. Blocking the comparison to another. Needs more time in nature and free expression, free hand doodling for 5 minutes, 5 days. "Open your eyes and really see"P: Gotta find the right thing to work with. Lots of choices, pinball, distract. E: 7-8yrs old. No time for my feelings. Rejected, not enough, disappointing. "I'm not that other kid"🎓 What Christine would like to do differently: Remember to hit record before the call starts!-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 LSD. My partner, my self.🎓 What I'd like to do differently: When I would meet my former business partner on the job site, my first task was to figure out how much he already had to drink. And knowing that, I still couldn't predict how productive we would be. Are we going to get some work done, or am I going to spend my day hiding him from the homeowner and later the cops? I understood my drinking-buddy's drug of choice and how it affected him. But I don't have experience w higher doses of LSD, and I don't know Julian's sober baseline. I dont know which parts are LSD inspired/accessible, and so my abilities feel devalued/moot. I have the hour blocked off, it's not like I don't want to meet with him, but I don't know who I'll be meeting! The right thing to do I suppose is just speak for that, but it's a tough line to walk. Plenty of parts disappointed or frustrated, but I did some good work with them eventually,, and discussed it w Jules. I'm not anti-drugs, or anti- having fun with IFS, but I'd like to do that with mutual intention and agreement. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 If mom wants to go… 📌 Justine call referenced is #411 -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Smoke; a solid ally, something to hold on to in a storm. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Funky energy today, failing to shift my sleep schedule before going to Vietnam next week. And more tempted to go completely off script working w Christine, like in experimenting w not you-turn today. Why? Cuz what if this type of access is more efficient (or is that a step backwards)? Or a part of me that wants to show my own care for her parts? Or maybe my attention was divided by my own 13-year-old sneak out and smoke parts relating, and because I needed to speak with that part, I was doing that vicariously. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire