What to Say (and Not Say) After Suicide: Supporting Grieving Loved Ones with Compassion

When someone you love is struggling with depression, anxiety, or addiction, knowing how to help can be agonizing — especially when every attempt seems to fail. In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, licensed psychotherapist and professional interventionist Evan Jarschauer explains what real mental health interventions look like — far from the dramatic TV versions that oversimplify the process.Evan has spent over 20 years helping families and individuals break the cycle of resistance, crisis, and collapse that often surrounds untreated mental illness. Drawing on his own experiences with depression, anxiety, trauma, and substance use, he offers practical advice for approaching loved ones with empathy, boundaries, and a long-term recovery plan.This powerful conversation dives into the emotional toll of caregiving, the difference between helping and enabling, and how to take care of yourself while supporting someone who is suffering. As Evan reminds us, “You can’t yell the depression out of someone — but you can love them into healing.”Primary Topics Covered:What real mental health interventions look like (vs. reality TV depictions)Why people resist help — and how to break through denial and fearBalancing love, accountability, and boundaries in family relationshipsUnderstanding when support turns into enablingThe importance of third-party professionals in crisis interventionWhy caregivers also need their own support systemHow trauma, depression, and addiction often overlapThe “oxygen mask principle” of self-care for supportersHow to communicate empathy without pity or controlWhy change begins with compassion — not confrontationTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction and overview of Giving Voice to Depression 01:17 – TV portrayals vs. real-life interventions: what’s missing 02:25 – Evan’s story: from personal trauma to professional healing 03:20 – Depression, self-medication, and the cycle of avoidance 04:31 – How families feel “stuck” between love and fear 06:35 – Compassion vs. confrontation: what intervention really means 07:44 – When it’s time to bring in professional help 08:56 – How an intervention plan is created (step by step) 10:21 – Why loved ones often reject help at first — and what to do next 11:16 – The “most powerful therapeutic weapon”: love and dignity 12:22 – Setting healthy boundaries to stop enabling destructive cycles 13:09 – The importance of post-intervention follow-up and care coordination 14:29 – Understanding depression as a real illness, not weakness 15:20 – Why caregivers must seek therapy and support, too 16:14 – Self-care as survival: you can’t pour from an empty vessel 17:13 – Why empathy, not pity, leads to healing 18:57 – The “Petri dish” metaphor: how families can stop feeding the illness 20:23 – Leading with high love and high accountability 22:26 – Closing reflections: how love — not control — opens the door to changeExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

When depression makes it hard to get out of bed, eat, or even believe things will ever get better, a loving pet can be a lifeline. In this moving episode of Giving Voice to Depression, Lori shares how her dogs helped her survive and heal after divorce and severe depression.Lori describes days spent “swimming through mud,” unable to function—until her dogs gave her a reason to get up, go outside, and reconnect with the world. Through their loyalty, routine, and affection, she found purpose and emotional grounding when her mental health was at its lowest.Hosts Terry McGuire, Bridget, and Carly McCollow discuss how pets—dogs, cats, or other animals—can support depression recovery by encouraging exercise, structure, connection, and even laughter. The episode also explores how caring for another living being can restore a sense of normalcy, purpose, and calm when life feels chaotic.You’ll also learn simple ways to bring the healing power of animals into your life, whether by adopting, fostering, or even dog walking for a friend.Primary Topics Covered:How animals provide emotional support during depressionThe role of pets in building routine, structure, and accountabilityWhy unconditional love from animals can reduce isolation and lonelinessThe connection between physical movement (dog walks) and improved moodHow therapy animals and rescue pets can support mental healthReal stories of how pets “save lives” through small, consistent acts of careWays to experience the benefits of animals even if you can’t own one (volunteering, pet sitting, fostering)The importance of small daily check-ins and accountability with loved onesTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction: How depression isolates us and how connection helps 01:12 – Meet Lori and her story of living with depression and loss 03:20 – Family history of depression and stigma around mental illness 04:38 – Divorce, despair, and “swimming through mud” 05:16 – How her dogs kept her alive and gave her purpose 06:03 – Emotional healing through loyalty and companionship 07:00 – Exercise and connection: walking dogs as therapy 07:55 – How pet routines bring structure and calm to chaotic times 08:44 – Crying, walking, and slowly finding light again 09:43 – Distraction and small steps toward recovery 10:33 – The power of human accountability: texting a friend daily 11:56 – Medications, therapy, and the regret of waiting too long 12:20 – How pets bring calm, peace, and a sense of normalcy 13:50 – Staying connected: daily check-ins that save lives 15:19 – Humor and warmth: the comfort of shared moments 16:05 – How to experience animal connection even without ownership 17:01 – Closing reflections and links to resourcesExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

The grief that follows a suicide is unlike any other. It’s layered with guilt, confusion, trauma, and the persistent question: Why? In this powerful episode of Giving Voice to Depression, guest Lisa Sugarman shares her journey after losing her father, cousin, and close friend to suicide — and what she’s learned about navigating the unique and complex grief that follows.Lisa offers deeply personal reflections on the healing power of connection, the role of the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, and the importance of understanding that you are not alone. She also discusses what to say (and what not to say) to someone who’s grieving a suicide loss — with guidance that can transform how we show up for those in pain.Hosts Terry McGuire and Carly McCollow join Lisa for an open, compassionate discussion about suicide prevention, survivor support, and how language can either wound or heal.If you’ve lost someone to suicide or want to learn how to support those who have, this episode offers insight, empathy, and hope.Primary Topics Covered:How suicide loss grief differs from other kinds of griefWhat to say (and avoid saying) to someone who’s lost a loved one to suicideHow to use the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (even if you’re not in immediate crisis)The importance of connection and peer support in healingHow to comfort someone who feels guilt or shame after a suicide lossWhy “grief is love” — and how to carry that love forwardThe myth that suicide is an “act of selfishness” and what’s really behind itUnderstanding the survivor’s journey and the slow, gentle process of healingTimestamps00:00 – Introduction: The importance of open conversations about suicide 01:29 – Guest introduction: Lisa Sugarman’s story of loss and purpose 02:12 – What Lisa wants others to know about suicide and grief 03:21 – Why knowing about help like 988 before crisis matters 04:36 – How 988 and the Crisis Text Line support both suicidal individuals and survivors 06:19 – The ripple effect of suicide: 135 people impacted by every death 07:30 – Lisa’s first experience with suicide loss at nine years old 08:13 – Losing her father and the silence that followed 08:58 – Discovering the truth decades later — and processing complex grief 09:23 – How suicide loss grief is unique: guilt, trauma, and unanswered questions 10:16 – How to support someone grieving a suicide loss 11:22 – The danger of judgment and how to hold compassionate space 12:43 – Why saying their loved one’s name helps more than silence 13:42 – Using 988 for grief and emotional crises, not just suicidal thoughts 14:55 – The power of speaking with others who’ve experienced suicide loss 16:05 – Why suicide is about ending pain, not abandoning loved ones 18:19 – Reassurance for those who “did everything right” but still lost someone 19:49 – Lisa’s closing message: you won’t always feel this way 20:36 – Grief as love: learning to live with loss and carry it forward 21:27 – The importance of naming and remembering the person you lost 23:33 – Crisis lines and text options: support for every kind of crisis 26:07 – Why connection — not perfection — helps save lives 27:22 – Closing reflections and reminder: depression is too dark a road to walk aloneExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

After a suicide, words can either comfort and connect — or cut and cause more pain. In this powerful episode of Giving Voice to Depression, journalist and suicide loss survivor Deb Sherwood shares her personal experience navigating the unthinkable grief following her husband’s death by suicide — and the devastating impact of well-intentioned but hurtful comments from doctors, therapists, and friends.Deb speaks candidly about the importance of language, how certain phrases can retraumatize survivors, and why learning to listen with empathy matters more than trying to “fix” someone’s grief. She also offers insight into what actually helps — from specific gestures of support to the healing power of peer connection through suicide loss groups.This episode reminds listeners that compassion doesn’t require perfect words — just presence, respect, and kindness.Primary Topics Covered:Why words matter after suicide lossCommon phrases that unintentionally harm grieving survivorsHow stigma and silence deepen pain after suicideThe role of doctors and therapists in trauma-informed careHow to approach someone grieving a suicide loss with compassionThe value of specific help over vague offers (“Can I bring dinner Tuesday?” vs. “Let me know if you need anything”)Creating memorials and memory books to honor loved onesHow suicide loss support groups foster understanding and healingThe three-question rule before speaking: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?Timestamps:00:00 – Introduction: Why conversations about suicide matter 01:26 – Introducing journalist and suicide loss survivor Deb Sherwood 02:50 – Stigma and secrecy after suicide loss 03:58 – The impact of harmful words from medical professionals 05:14 – When therapy retraumatizes instead of heals 06:42 – How insensitive questions intensify grief 08:01 – Why people assume strength means lack of pain 09:35 – Understanding curiosity vs. intrusion in suicide loss 10:13 – Losing friendships after judgmental comments 11:05 – Hurtful remarks that add trauma (“You didn’t see it coming?” “He took the easy way out”) 12:25 – Words that help: empathy, memory-sharing, and specific offers of support 13:46 – Creating a memory book to honor a loved one’s life 14:48 – Encouraging people to share positive stories and memories 15:03 – Living with unanswered questions and learning self-forgiveness 16:08 – The “Is it true, necessary, kind?” test for sensitive conversations 16:58 – How support groups create safe spaces for suicide loss survivors 17:48 – Finding the right therapist or counselor who respects grief 18:22 – Final reflections: listening, compassion, and language that healsExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

Award-winning journalist and author Meg Kissinger joins Giving Voice to Depression to share the extraordinary and heartbreaking story behind her memoir “While You Were Out.”In her conversation with Terry McGuire and Carly McCollow, Meg opens up about growing up in a large family marked by bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and depression—as well as two sibling deaths by suicide. She explores how decades of silence and stigma shaped her family’s story and how finally speaking out broke the cycle of shame and secrecy.Meg’s dual perspective—as a journalist who investigated the U.S. mental health system and as a sister who lived it firsthand—offers a rare, honest look at mental illness, discrimination, resilience, and recovery. Her story reminds us that talking openly about mental health saves lives—and that empathy and truth can heal generations.Primary Topics Covered:The power of storytelling in breaking mental health stigmaHow silence and secrecy isolate families living with mental illnessUnderstanding the difference between stigma and discriminationThe lasting effects of losing loved ones to suicideWhat it’s like to grow up with bipolar disorder and depression in the familyThe importance of honesty in family and community mental health conversationsHow to respond when someone shares suicidal thoughtsWhy it’s okay to ask for help—and how courage can begin with one conversationTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction and welcome from Terry and Carly 01:24 – Introducing journalist and author Meg Kissinger 02:21 – Mental illness in Meg’s family: depression, bipolar disorder, and suicide 03:27 – Why stigma is actually discrimination — and how language shapes understanding 04:42 – Growing up in silence: how mental illness was hidden in the 1960s 06:25 – Balancing humor, love, and loss in a family marked by mental illness 07:29 – Losing her sister Nancy to suicide and the painful secrecy that followed 09:24 – Talking about her brother’s struggles and what she’d say differently now 10:55 – Learning to sit with discomfort and listen with compassion 11:50 – Writing While You Were Out and gaining her siblings’ trust to tell the truth 12:41 – The goal: showing her family’s full humanity and helping others feel less alone 13:36 – Why families must talk about their mental health history 14:48 – Advice for those who struggle to speak about mental illness or trauma 15:34 – Lessons from her brother Jake on living openly and unapologetically 16:21 – Asking for help: humility, courage, and connection 17:39 – Reflections from Terry and Carly on authenticity and generational healing 19:34 – Breaking silence one story—and one generation—at a time 22:26 – How to truly listen to someone in emotional pain (“Heard, Helped, or Hugged”) 25:56 – Final reflections: showing up with love, empathy, and presenceExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

Award-winning journalist and author Meg Kissinger joins Giving Voice to Depression to share the extraordinary and heartbreaking story behind her memoir “While You Were Out.”In her conversation with Terry McGuire and Carly McCollow, Meg opens up about growing up in a large family marked by bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and depression—as well as two sibling deaths by suicide. She explores how decades of silence and stigma shaped her family’s story and how finally speaking out broke the cycle of shame and secrecy.Meg’s dual perspective—as a journalist who investigated the U.S. mental health system and as a sister who lived it firsthand—offers a rare, honest look at mental illness, discrimination, resilience, and recovery. Her story reminds us that talking openly about mental health saves lives—and that empathy and truth can heal generations.Primary Topics Covered:The power of storytelling in breaking mental health stigmaHow silence and secrecy isolate families living with mental illnessUnderstanding the difference between stigma and discriminationThe lasting effects of losing loved ones to suicideWhat it’s like to grow up with bipolar disorder and depression in the familyThe importance of honesty in family and community mental health conversationsHow to respond when someone shares suicidal thoughtsWhy it’s okay to ask for help—and how courage can begin with one conversationTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction and welcome from Terry and Carly 01:24 – Introducing journalist and author Meg Kissinger 02:21 – Mental illness in Meg’s family: depression, bipolar disorder, and suicide 03:27 – Why stigma is actually discrimination — and how language shapes understanding 04:42 – Growing up in silence: how mental illness was hidden in the 1960s 06:25 – Balancing humor, love, and loss in a family marked by mental illness 07:29 – Losing her sister Nancy to suicide and the painful secrecy that followed 09:24 – Talking about her brother’s struggles and what she’d say differently now 10:55 – Learning to sit with discomfort and listen with compassion 11:50 – Writing While You Were Out and gaining her siblings’ trust to tell the truth 12:41 – The goal: showing her family’s full humanity and helping others feel less alone 13:36 – Why families must talk about their mental health history 14:48 – Advice for those who struggle to speak about mental illness or trauma 15:34 – Lessons from her brother Jake on living openly and unapologetically 16:21 – Asking for help: humility, courage, and connection 17:39 – Reflections from Terry and Carly on authenticity and generational healing 19:34 – Breaking silence one story—and one generation—at a time 22:26 – How to truly listen to someone in emotional pain (“Heard, Helped, or Hugged”) 25:56 – Final reflections: showing up with love, empathy, and presenceExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

In this deeply human episode of Giving Voice to Depression, John, a survivor of a suicide attempt, shares his ongoing struggle with self-forgiveness — and what healing looks like when you’re still learning to forgive yourself.While many conversations about suicide focus on grief or prevention, John opens up about what comes after survival: the guilt, shame, and lingering belief that he doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Despite being forgiven by his family, including his son, John continues to wrestle with self-compassion and self-worth.Through an honest and courageous conversation with hosts Terry McGuire and Bridget, John explores what it means to recover emotionally and spiritually — even when the process is slow, imperfect, and deeply personal.This episode sheds light on the emotional aftermath of suicide attempts and offers gentle encouragement to anyone navigating their own healing: you are not alone, and forgiveness is possible — even if it hasn’t happened yet.Primary Topics Covered:The emotional aftermath of surviving a suicide attemptWhy forgiving yourself can be harder than forgiving othersGuilt, shame, and self-loathing in recoveryHow family support can begin the healing processDeveloping self-compassion through therapy and meditationUnderstanding that recovery isn’t linear — and that “not yet” is still progressPractical insights on living with ongoing suicidal thoughtsThe importance of honest, stigma-free conversations about mental healthTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction to the episode and hosts 02:13 – John’s story: surviving a suicide attempt and learning to forgive himself 03:06 – Why stories about self-forgiveness after a suicide attempt are rare 04:02 – Guilt, self-loathing, and loss of self-worth 05:14 – How John’s son forgave him — instantly and unconditionally 06:03 – Why self-forgiveness feels harder than accepting forgiveness from others 06:49 – Living with lingering feelings of unworthiness 07:36 – How therapy and psychiatry help manage suicidal thoughts 08:34 – Searching for the “magic tool” for self-compassion 09:13 – Meditation and its role in emotional healing 09:46 – Guilt, shame, and letting go — why all are connected 10:55 – Advice to other suicide attempt survivors: don’t let guilt derail recovery 12:43 – Accepting that forgiveness takes time — and that “not yet” is okay 13:25 – The power of reframing self-talk 14:00 – Learning by speaking: how sharing stories helps healing 15:19 – From self-loathing to self-acceptance: small language shifts that matter 16:28 – The chemistry of self-talk and why kindness changes your brain 17:39 – Closing reflections and resources for self-forgiveness and supportExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

What happens when mental health and addiction collide? In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, David Shamszad shares his raw and revealing story of living with bipolar disorder and alcohol addiction — a combination often referred to as a dual diagnosis.From self-medicating through college to hospitalization, reckless mania, and rock bottom, David opens up about how stigma, shame, and silence kept him from getting help for years. His turning point came after a dangerous blackout that could have ended in tragedy — and became the moment he chose recovery.Now 10 years sober, David reflects on the long road to understanding his bipolar disorder, the importance of therapy, and how sharing his story publicly has become a form of healing.If you or someone you love struggles with both mental illness and substance use, this episode offers insight, validation, and hope. Recovery is possible — and it often begins with honesty.Primary Topics Covered:What “dual diagnosis” means and why it’s often misunderstoodThe connection between bipolar disorder and addictionHow self-medicating can delay diagnosis and worsen symptomsThe impact of shame, stigma, and cultural norms on help-seekingDavid’s experience with mania, depression, and suicidal thoughtsThe moment of clarity that led to his recoveryWhy sobriety alone isn’t enough — therapy and connection matterPractical tools for managing co-occurring conditionsHow hope grows “drop by drop” through small acts of supportTimestamps:00:00 - Introduction to the episode and dual diagnosis 01:15 - What it means to live with both a mental health condition and addiction 02:12 - David’s early signs of bipolar disorder in college 03:33 - How shame and masculinity silenced his depression 04:50 - Manic highs, risky behavior, and denial 06:08 - The crash after mania: waking up in fear and paralysis 07:25 - Hospitalization and first bipolar diagnosis 08:27 - The power of naming an illness — and the shame that still lingered 09:30 - Understanding Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II 10:31 - Alcohol as self-medication and the illusion of control 11:20 - The night that changed everything: waking up injured and afraid 12:20 - Realizing addiction could destroy more than just his own life 12:42 - The decision to get help and tell the truth 13:18 - Ten years sober and learning to rebuild 14:15 - Therapy, coping skills, and daily maintenance 15:15 - Message to those still struggling: recovery happens gradually 17:31 - The power of “small drops” of hope and connection 18:54 - Reflections on stigma, masculinity, and vulnerability 20:28 - Encouragement to speak up and seek support 24:23 - Where David is now: success, sobriety, and service 25:09 - Closing thoughts and resources for helpExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, Dr. Barbara Moser, a trained teacher in mindful self-compassion, shares three simple yet powerful practices you can use anytime to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression. These tools are free, backed by credible research, and require no appointment, transportation, or side effects.From mindful breathing to the STOP method and a self-compassion break, these practices are designed to help you calm your nervous system, manage transitions, and respond to difficult moments with greater resilience. Whether you’re struggling with daily overwhelm or seeking preventive strategies, this episode offers practical techniques that can become part of your mental health toolkit.Primary Topics Covered:Introduction to no-cost, research-backed mental health toolsGuided three-minute mindful breathing exerciseSTOP practice for managing daily transitions and stressSelf-compassion break: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindnessHow mindfulness and self-compassion work together for healingTimestamps:00:00 – Introduction and mission of Giving Voice to Depression 01:20 – Framing the episode: free, accessible mental health tools 02:06 – Dr. Barbara Moser introduces mindfulness practices 02:42 – Three-minute mindful breathing and calming exercise 09:21 – How breathwork engages the parasympathetic nervous system 10:14 – STOP practice: pause, breathe, observe, and proceed 14:22 – Using STOP for daily transitions and relationships 14:32 – Guided self-compassion break with three core elements 18:40 – Recognizing common humanity in moments of struggle 20:03 – Practicing self-kindness and supportive self-talk 22:32 – Closing reflections and invitation to community supportExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/

In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, Kevin Lepine shares his deeply personal journey of growing up misunderstood, bullied, and isolated — experiences that fueled his depression long before he had words to describe it. He opens up about the pain of being unseen, living with undiagnosed ADD, and the crushing loneliness that often comes with both bullying and depression.Kevin also discusses the turning points that helped him: friends who refused to let him disappear, learning the language to describe his struggles, and finding mental health support that gave him tools to heal. He offers raw but practical advice about managing depression, breaking free from isolation, and building a supportive community.This conversation sheds light on the destructive overlap of bullying and depression while reminding us that connection, compassion, and even small shifts — like going for a walk — can make a life-saving difference.If you’ve ever struggled to explain depression to someone else, or if you’re supporting a loved one who feels stuck in darkness, Kevin’s story provides both validation and hope.Primary Topics Covered:How bullying and undiagnosed ADD fueled Kevin’s depressionThe impact of isolation on mental health and empathyFinding hope through community, friendship, and supportPractical tools for interrupting depression’s cyclesWhy disclosure and openness can reduce stigma and isolationThe power of small shifts, like walks and connection, in healingTimestamps:00:01:15 – Introduction to Kevin’s story: bullying, isolation, and depression 00:02:58 – Childhood signals of depression and the role of bullying 00:04:55 – The dangers of ignoring bullying and its isolating effects 00:06:25 – Building true friendships that interrupted depression’s cycle 00:08:02 – How Kevin’s depression manifested and became paralyzing 00:09:38 – Strategies to “trick” depression: filling the calendar, asking for support 00:10:35 – Why disclosure lessens depression’s hold and reduces isolation 00:11:19 – Addiction, self-medication, and the search for relief 00:13:11 – Tools from 12-Step programs and the role of community 00:14:36 – Hypnosis, depression, and the “parasite” metaphor 00:14:49 – Two life-or-death turning points in Kevin’s journey 00:16:31 – Why “It can be different” is more powerful than “Be happy” 00:20:17 – The role of small, simple shifts like walking and connection 00:23:21 – How bullying echoes depression’s lies and reinforces hopelessness 00:25:36 – Absolutist thinking: both a symptom and contributor to depression 00:26:24 – Closing reflections: compassion, language, and concrete supportExplore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.comFacebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/