Septemburger 2025: The Battle for Hamburger Supremacy

🥴🍽️🚫 Hometown Buffet: The Absolute Bottom of the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🚫🍽️🥴 This week, we revisit a meal that has haunted me since 2014: Hometown Buffet, the worst restaurant experience of my life. Joined by Trey Burch, I relive the sleepy Sunday morning buffet that somehow managed to fail at everything. From nonexistent service to questionable sushi, this trip back to mediocrity's basement proves exactly why this chain is extinct (and deserves to be). 📉 The Rise and Fall of Hometown Buffet: 4 Bankruptcies and a "Scatter Bar" Concept 🥴 A Nearly Empty Sunday Brunch is the Reddest of Flags 🚫 No Service, No Bussing, Just a Neighboring Table for Dirty Plates 🍣 Trey Eats Sushi at a Low-Grade Buffet (and Lives to Tell About It) 🥓 Every Food Item Somehow Worse Than the Last 😷 Sneeze Guards Positioned Way Too High to Help Anyone 😡 The Manager Who Told a Guest Her Refund Was "Unfair" 💀 Declared: The Definitive 0.00/10 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🪦 A Buffet So Bad, I'm Glad It's Gone 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the worst restaurant you've ever eaten at? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, & Aaron Hubbard 👉 NEXT WEEK: The Bridge Season begins with the history of Outback Steakhouse with my guest, returning favorite VyVy Nguyen.

🥩🔥🍎 chi SPACCA: The Perfect 10 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🍎🔥🥩 This week, I finally crown my very first perfect restaurant: chi SPACCA, the Italian butcher by Nancy Silverton and the best dining experience of my life. On Valentine's Day 2023, I discovered what true excellence tastes like, from cozy, candlelit vibes and flawless service to indulgent bites of steak, marrow, and candied apple pie. It was decadent, joyful, and unforgettable… even if our server's beef & bone marrow pot pie presentation went a little sideways. 🥔 Onion Rings & Mashed Potatoes That Redefine "Sides" 🥩 Beef & Bone Marrow Pot Pie: Messy, Beautiful, Delicious 🥬 Salanova Lettuce Salad with Lemon Vinaigrette = Good for a Salad... 🍖 Bistecca alla Fiorentina: Dry-Aged Steak of the Gods 👩‍🍳 Cozy Vibes and a View of the Chefs at Work 🍎 A Whole Candied Apple Baked Inside a Pie (Yes, Really) 🌹 Valentine's Day 2023: A Meal I'll Never Forget ⭐ Reading Only 5-Star Reviews in Yelp from Strangers 🏆 The First-Ever Perfect 10.00 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the best meal you've ever had in your life? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, & Aaron Hubbard 👉 NEXT WEEK: We've got to balance the scales, so I'll be going to the worst restaurant I've ever dined at and crowning a 0.00 on the bottom end of the Tchotchke of Mediocrity.

🎩🍟💰 McDonald's Monopoly: History, Scandal, and Astronomically Bad Odds💰🍟🎩 This week, we peel back the golden arches on one of the biggest promotions in fast-food history: McDonald's Monopoly. From the McMillions scandal that rocked the 2000s to the shocking odds that make the Powerball look generous, this episode dives deep into the strange world where fries meet finance. We explore the sweepstakes mechanics, the global variations, and the jaw-dropping aftermath of McDonald's paying out on a possibly fraudulent million-dollar game piece sent to St. Jude's. 🎲 The Wild Origins of McDonald's Monopoly 🕵️‍♂️ The McMillions Scandal That Changed Everything 📉 Why the $10,000 Lowe's Prize Is 9x Harder to Win Than Powerball 🏦 How McDonald's and Hasbro Both Profit from the Partnership 🇨🇦 The Game's Unique Twists in Canada and the UK 📜 Sweepstakes vs. Lottery: What the Law Actually Says 💸 McDonald's Randomly Paying Diners After the Scandal 🍟 The Most Unrealistic Odds You've Ever Heard 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Have you ever won anything more than food from McDonald's Monopoly? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, & Aaron Hubbard 👉 NEXT WEEK: I cover chi SPACCA, the Italian butcher by Nancy Silverton — and quite possibly the best meal of my life.

It's here! The finale of the 2025 Septemburger tournament pits Wendy's against Dairy Queen and Carl's Jr. against A&W. Who will make it to the finals, and more importantly: who will take home the ability to proclaim themselves the best burger chain of the 2025 Septemburger field? I'm joined once again by filmmaker Tyler Eaton to cover Dairy Queen, comedian and author Ali Gordon to chat Wendy's, one of my best friends Herbert Amaya to review A&W, and composer James McEnelly to eat Carl's Jr. They also humor me and once again embody the chains they're helping me review to trash talk one another. 2nd Round: Wendy's (#1 seed) Baconator vs. Dairy Queen (#5 seed) Loaded A1 Stackburger Carl's Jr. (#3 seed) Western Bacon Burger vs. A&W (#7 seed) BBQ Bacon Crunch Burger Finals: ??? vs. ???

🍟🤖🍔 Wendy's: Savage Roasts, French Fry Glow-Up, and Are the Nuggets Perfect? 🍔🤖🍟 This week, Ali Gordon joins me to put Wendy's through the Chili's Test. Between Frostys, spicy nuggets, and a fireplace straight out of HGTV, things get interesting. We try three Wendy's burgers for Septemburger, but will they all get a chance in the tournament or will Jack in the Box knock them out? Also, a one-time brand new segment called Rate That Roast! where Ali judges Wendy's savage social media burns. 📣 Rate That Roast! Ali Judges Wendy's Online Burns 🍫 Frosty Bliss & Spicy Nuggets That Actually Deliver 🥓 Burgers Galore: Dave's Single, Baconator, Double Stack 🧑‍🎤 Ali Becomes Wendy Herself (and Swears a Lot) 🌶️ Ghost Pepper Ranch That Isn't Ghost, Pepper, or Ranch 🍟 French Fries Glow-Up = Legit Improvement 🔥 Fancy Fireplace (Hogged by a Couple the Whole Time) 🌱 Serengeti Grass in the Banister?? 🧂 Condiments Locked Away Behind the Counter 📖 Ali's Debut Novel We Have Reached the End of Our Show Drops Sept 30 🏨 Ali Shares the Worst Bed & Breakfast Story Ever ⚔️ Septemburger: Dave's Single vs. Sourdough Jack We're in the final 24 hours to fill out your Septemburger bracket! You can update it to include the winners below, and continue to do so until 11:59 PM PST on September 24th! 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Do you think Wendy's roasts are actually funny or just trying too hard? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: Ali Gordon | IG: @msalicenutting 📖 Pre-Order We Have Reached the End of Our Show | Skylight Books Amazon Barnes & Noble Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: Exclusively on Patreon (but for free!), the Septemburger Semi-Finals & Finals episode drops September 30th. That same episode will be released on the main podcast feed October 8th. I'm off October 1st!

🌮🤡 Jack in the Box: See-Through Tacos, Clown Mascot, and Legendary Curly Fries 🤡🌮 This week, we went to Jack in the Box to try some burgers, and got so much more than we bargained for. I'm joined by Honey Butter Popcorn from the Ragmop & Goose Puppet Adoption Agency and we went deep on the Jack in the Box menu. From a wild history including a name change and blowing up their old mascot, to Yelp reviews that find one specific employee very funny, you're not going to want to miss this one! 🥤 We Describe the Taste of the Worst Drink I've Ever Had ⏱️ "Cheap and Quick" Is the Appeal - Notice "Tasty" Isn't Necessary 🍉 The Sour Patch Kids Watermelon Lemonade Is Surprisingly Incredible 🥠 The Egg Roll Isn't Fit for Humans 🐶 Jack in the Box (Fittingly) Used to Be Owned by a Dog Food Company 🧀 Changing Their Name to Monterey Jack?? 🍔 Priming the Sourdough Jack, Buttery Bacon Smashed Jack, and the Jumbo Jack for Septemburger 🥖 Churros More Delicious Than Ones from Schmisneyland 🪆 How Do Puppets Eat? 🚂 Discovering the Worst Restaurant of All-Time in the Calibration Station You can still fill out your Septemburger bracket! You can update it to include the winners below, and continue to do so until 11:59 PM PST on September 24th! 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Do you actually like Jack in the Box, or is it more the "open late" and "good value" of it all? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Follow Ragmop & Goose: @ragmopandgoose Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: We're going to Wendy's, the top seed in the tournament, with my guest Ali Gordon!

🍒 Sonic Drive-In: Full History and Honest Review 🛻 This week, SONIC Drive-In gets the full treatment: history and review, all in one. From the retrofuturistic drive-in vibes and "Two Guys" commercials to a dashboard covered in onion rings, we dive deep into everything SONIC does right, wrong, and in-between. Special guest Marc Pope (Geek Off the Street podcast) joins me for cherry limeades, corndogs, and a Septemburger showdown to see if SONIC can topple Dairy Queen. 🍟 Tater Tots & Onion Rings: Fried Side-by-Side Taste Test 🌭 Corn Dog has a Weird Wiener 🍒 Cherry Limeade & Ocean Water = Still the MVPs 🍦 Oreo & Reese's Sonic Blasts Bring the Sugar Rush 🍔 Burgers on Trial: Double Sonic Smasher, Garlic Butter Bacon Burger, Bacon Sonic Stack 🗣️ Intercom Girl Steps on My Words 📋 Passenger Seat Menu Visibility = Zero Stars 🚗 No Food Trough??  DO BETTER, SONIC!! ⛸️ No Roller Skates = The Ultimate SONIC Fail ⚔️ Septemburger Matchup: Double SONIC Smasher vs. DQ Bacon Deluxe You can still fill out your Septemburger bracket! Update it after hearing who won between SONIC and Dairy Queen! 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's your Sonic go-to order? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Follow Marc Pope's podcast: @TheGOTSPod Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: We cover Jack in the Box, the #8 seed in the Septemburger tournament, with special guest Honey the puppet from Ragmop & Goose!

🍔 Septemburger 2025: The Burger Tournament Begins! 🏆 GET HYPED!! It's that time of year again: Septemburger! The annual hamburger tournament is back, and eight chains are entering this greasy gauntlet. In this episode, I reveal all the contenders, break down how the tournament works, and review the first five burgers of round one. From a slew of mediocre burgers to Santa Claus cutting promos for Arctic Circle, this year is already unhinged in the best way. 🥊 Cook Out (featuring my Dad) vs. A&W (with Herbert Amaya) 🎅 Santa Claus Represents Arctic Circle vs. Carl's Jr. (with podcast composer James McEnelly) 👑 Dairy Queen Wants to Melt the Competition (with Tyler Eaton) 🍔 The Tournament Sees its First Upset 📣 Wrestling-Style Promos from Each Guest 📋 TOURNAMENT RULES: 8 chains enter, each providing 3 burgers. Round 1: each chain's "#1-on-the-menu burger." Later rounds = specialty burgers. Seeding is based on the best burger I've ever had at each chain. Fill out your bracket here. YOU MAY ADJUST your picks until end of day 9/24 as you follow along. Anyone who correctly predicts the champion is entered into a drawing for the grand prize! 🎁 GRAND PRIZE: The winner can name any American chain restaurant I haven't covered yet, and I'll review it in Season 4. PLUS, I'll write and record a rap song about the winner or any food/restaurant topic of their choice. 🔥 SEMIS & FINALS: Coming 9/30 on Patreon for FREE (no subscription needed), or on the regular podcast feed in October. 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Who's your pick to win Septemburger 2025? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: We cover Sonic Drive-In with special guest Marc Pope from the Geek Off the Street podcast!

🚒 Firehouse Subs: Premature Halloween & Sticky Bottles 🎃 This week, Jon Glover (from On Brand with Jon & Marisa) joins me again as we finally taste Firehouse Subs for ourselves. From cops hooking up in the bathroom* to pickle buckets better left unopened, this visit had more than its share of noteworthy moments. The subs didn't impress us, but the theming did...and somehow Jon confesses to living like a hoarder. 🥪 Jon Gets Defensive Over His Many Sandwich Mods 🎃 A 12-Foot Skeleton Box Blocks the Bathroom 🥒 Taking a Sniff of the Pickle Bucket (Instant Regret) 🍪 The Cookie Becomes the Star of the Meal 🥤 Jon Declares His Love for the Freestyle Soda Machine 🔥 Firehouse Theming Feels Like a Hollywood Backlot 🧂 A Hot Sauce Bar Full of Sticky Bottles 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the strangest thing you've ever seen in a restaurant bathroom? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jon's podcast: On Brand with Jon & Marisa (@onbrandthepod) Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: Septemburger 2025 kicks off! The annual burger tournament returns, and the first matchup is in full swing. *This is speculation.

🚒 Firehouse Subs 🥒 This week, we head into Firehouse Subs to see what the fuss is about. Emmy Award-winning guest and cohost of On Brand with Jon & Marisa Jon Glover joins me to talk steaming meats, charity pickle buckets, Titanic lore, and why being put on hold too long might just drive you insane. Along the way, Jon invents his dream restaurant "Capades" (an ice-themed wonderland), brushes shoulders with James Cameron (not to brag), and gets hot and bothered for firemen. 🚫 Steamed Meats That Don't Quite Work 🥒 Pickle Buckets & Firehouse's Community Spirit 🎬 Jon Worked with "Jim" Cameron on Avatar 2 & 3 🚢 Way Too Much Titanic Talk 🏰 "Capades": Jon's Dream Restaurant of Ice (and It's Free) 🍔 Firehouse Subs Joins RBI (Burger King's Parent Company) 📞 Put on Hold So Long, They Drove to the Store Instead 🎤 Jon Freezes When Asked to Sing 🙄 Jon Constantly Tells Michael to "Go On" 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's the strangest on-hold experience you've ever had with a business? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Jon's podcast: On Brand with Jon & Marisa (@onbrandthepod) Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: We finally taste the food at Firehouse Subs to see how it stacks up.