#285: Common Misconceptions About Kind Leadership

Kind leadership isn’t about being nice all the time. It’s about leading with respect and care, without falling into the trap of people-pleasing. In this episode, I unpack some of the common misconceptions about kind leadership. Thoughtful leaders often gravitate towards kindness, but it can backfire if we confuse kindness with always saying yes or avoiding difficult conversations. You’ll hear: Why kindness doesn’t mean weakness The difference between being nice and being kind How to set boundaries and still be seen as a considerate leader Examples of how kind leadership can actually make your team stronger If you’re someone who cares about your team but sometimes struggles with setting expectations or saying no, this one’s for you. Resources: Explore 1:1 coaching to build your confidence as a thoughtful leader: Leadership Coaching Page Blog: How Letting Go Will Help You Take Control.

Ambitious team members can be exciting to lead, but they can also be tricky to manage. So how do you support them without burning out yourself? In this episode, I explore what to do when you’re leading someone with big goals, a strong drive, and a desire to move quickly. These employees often have great potential but without the right leadership, they can become frustrated, disengaged or even disruptive to your team. If you’ve got a team member who’s eager for more, this episode will help you navigate their energy in a healthy, productive way. What You’ll Learn: Common challenges leaders face with highly ambitious employees Three key principles to lead with clarity: honesty, accountability and follow-through How to help your team member see the real gap between where they are and where they want to go Why telling them to “just be patient” is usually a mistake Practical ways to give effective feedback and keep expectations clear 🎯 Key takeaway: You can support ambition without over-promising or overextending yourself. Leading well means being honest and realistic – while also being encouraging and fair. Resources & Links: 10 Simple and Effective Tips for Giving Feedback The Useful Thinking Journal Team Accountability Builder Online Course Episode 71 – A Simple Model for Team Motivation Episode 254 – Prioritising the Career Conversation Private Leadership Coaching 💭 Want more strategies like this? Subscribe to the Thoughtful Leader newsletter and get regular tips, tools and insights to help you lead with confidence – without losing yourself in the process.

Are you staying in a job that no longer supports you, just because you feel loyal to your team or unsure of your next step? It’s a common challenge for thoughtful leaders. In this episode, I explore why we sometimes stay too long in roles that aren’t working, and how to start thinking clearly about whether it’s time to move on. What You’ll Learn: Why staying to “protect” your team might actually hold everyone back How toxic leadership can damage your self-esteem and confidence Why trying to “fix” your boss or workplace can keep you stuck How to start deciding whether to stay or go – in a clear, grounded way. Resources & Links: The Iceberg Model of Human Behaviour The Useful Thinking Journal Working For an Insecure Manager? Here’s What to Do Work With Me 1:1. 💭 If you’re feeling stuck in a role that’s draining you, sign up for the Thoughtful Leader newsletter to get weekly support and tools that help you decide your next step – on your own terms.

Can you be a confident leader without being the loudest in the room? Absolutely. This is a common challenge for thoughtful, introspective leaders. We often feel pressure to be more outgoing or “on show” to be seen as confident. In this episode, I explore how to build genuine leadership confidence without changing who you are. What You’ll Learn: Why the “shoulds” are holding you back How to reframe what effective leadership really looks like Why it’s OK to be quieter – and how it can actually be a strength How to balance being your introverted self with the times you need to step up and speak out Resources & Links: The Useful Thinking Journal Leadership Confidence Online Course Episode 281 – Speaking Up in Meetings The PRINT® Assessment 💭 Want to build your confidence in a way that suits you? Join the Thoughtful Leader newsletter and get weekly tips and tools to help you lead with calm and clarity.

Feeling stuck in silence during meetings, even when you have something valuable to say? You’re not alone. In this episode, I respond to a listener question about how to speak up more in meetings – a common challenge for many thoughtful, quieter leaders. If you're someone who finds it hard to contribute when others are dominating the conversation, or you feel like everything worth saying has already been said, this one is for you. What You’ll Learn Why this is only a problem if someone sees it as a problem – like your manager Why relying on a more introvert-friendly workplace isn't always an option Simple preparation techniques to help you contribute with confidence How visualisation and practice can help you feel more comfortable when it’s time to speak. Resources & Links The Useful Thinking Journal – to support reflection and confidence Toastmasters – a safe space to practise public speaking Leadership Confidence Online Course – build presence and authority your way Thoughtful Leader Podcast #104 – Why Leaders Must Set Boundaries at Work 💭 Ready to lead with confidence, without pretending to be someone you’re not? Join the Thoughtful Leader newsletter for more practical tips.

Episode Summary Collaboration is often seen as the default approach in leadership, but it's not always the most effective choice. In this episode, Ben Brearley explores a practical model to help leaders decide when to collaborate and when another strategy might be more appropriate. By understanding the dynamics of goals and relationships, leaders can make more intentional decisions that benefit both their objectives and their teams. In This Episode, You'll Learn The importance of assessing both the goal and the relationship when deciding to collaborate An overview of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode model and its five strategies: Collaborate, Compete, Accommodate, Avoid, and Compromise How to evaluate the importance of your goals and relationships to choose the most effective approach Questions to consider that can guide your decision-making process Strategies to encourage collaboration when others are resistant Key Takeaways Collaboration is valuable but should be used intentionally based on the situation Understanding the balance between achieving goals and maintaining relationships is crucial Not all situations require collaboration; sometimes, competing, accommodating, avoiding, or compromising may be more effective Being strategic in your approach can lead to better outcomes and stronger relationships Resources Mentioned Episode 119: Too Collaborative? Let’s Avoid This Leadership Trap 3 Ways That Leaders Can Improve Cross Team Collaboration Leadership Coaching with Ben Enjoyed This Episode? If you found this episode helpful, please leave a positive review on your preferred podcast platform. Your feedback helps spread the word to other thoughtful leaders. Ready for More Support? Book a free 30-minute consultation with Ben to explore how leadership coaching can address your challenges: 👉 Book a Leadership Coaching Consultation

Episode Summary In this episode, Ben Brearley shares three straightforward strategies to help leaders feel more in control, reduce stress, and make better use of their time each week. These practical steps are designed to enhance your effectiveness without adding complexity to your schedule. In This Episode, You'll Learn The distinction between being effective and feeling effective How to create a simple weekly plan using time blocks Techniques for breaking down tasks to fit into your schedule The importance of weekly planning to stay on top of priorities How to identify when your workload is unsustainable Ways to communicate effectively about workload challenges Key Takeaways Time blocking helps prioritize essential tasks and ensures you allocate time for what matters most Breaking tasks into manageable chunks prevents procrastination and increases productivity Regular weekly planning keeps you focused and adaptable to changes Recognising workload limits allows for proactive discussions with stakeholders about capacity and expectations Resources Mentioned Episode 156: Let's Dismantle the Cult of Busyness Time Management for Leaders Online Course (Use code TIME50 for 50% off) Leadership Coaching with Ben Enjoyed This Episode? If you found this episode helpful, please leave a positive review on your preferred podcast platform. Your feedback helps spread the word to other thoughtful leaders. Ready for More Support? Book a free 30-minute consultation with Ben to explore how leadership coaching can address your challenges: 👉 Book a Leadership Coaching Consultation

Episode Summary Feeling overwhelmed is a common challenge in today's workplaces. In this episode, Ben Brearley delves into practical strategies to support team members grappling with stress and burnout. Ben offers actionable advice to help leaders navigate this pervasive issue. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Identifying Overwhelm: Recognize signs of stress and burnout in your team. Clarifying Workload: Assist team members in assessing the feasibility of their tasks. Categorizing Tasks: Help prioritize work by grouping tasks into manageable categories. Time Management: Understand the importance of aligning tasks with available time blocks. Setting Boundaries: Encourage setting personal limits to maintain well-being. Empowering Autonomy: Foster a culture where team members can manage their workload effectively. Key Takeaways Uncertainty Fuels Overwhelm: Clarifying tasks and expectations can alleviate stress. Simple Strategies Work: Implementing straightforward methods can lead to sustainable improvements. Avoid Micromanagement: Empowering team members promotes independence and resilience. Resources Mentioned Feeling Overwhelmed? Here's How to Help Your Team Episode 197: Helping Stressed Team Members Episode 65: How to Deal With Uncertainty – Working "In the Grey" What to Do When You're Asked to Do It All. Enjoyed This Episode? If you found this episode valuable, please leave a positive review on your preferred podcast platform. Your feedback helps spread the word to other thoughtful leaders. Ready for More Support? Book a free 30-minute consultation with Ben to explore how leadership coaching can address your challenges: 👉 Book a Leadership Coaching Consultation.

Episode Summary Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we can accidentally enable bad behaviour within our teams. In this episode, Ben explores three subtle but powerful ways leaders might unintentionally allow bad behaviour to grow and how to address it before it causes bigger issues. In This Episode, You'll Learn: How being unavailable to your team can create opportunities for bad behaviour to go unnoticed. Why addressing only the symptoms (not the real issue) can allow bad behaviour to persist. The risks of focusing too much on results and overlooking how those results are achieved. Key Takeaways: ✅ Being present physically or virtually helps you observe, support, and guide your team more effectively. ✅ Direct conversations with team members about their behaviour are essential - don’t just tweak processes and hope for the best. ✅ Results matter, but so does how you achieve them. Ignoring bad behaviour in high performers can harm team morale, collaboration, and long-term success. Resources Mentioned: Episode 149: Steps to Break Negative Behaviour Patterns Top 3 Time Management Skills for Busy Leaders Enjoyed this episode? Please leave a positive review on your podcast app of choice - it helps spread the word to other thoughtful leaders like you! 🙏 Ready for more support? Book your free 30-minute consultation with Ben: 👉 Book a Leadership Coaching Consultation

Welcome to Episode 276 of the Thoughtful Leader Podcast! In this episode, we explore why thoughtful leaders tend to take things personally and how to break free from this habit. If you find yourself internalising feedback, criticism, or workplace challenges, this episode is for you. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why thoughtful leaders are prone to taking things personally. The impact of personalizing feedback and criticism on leadership effectiveness. Practical strategies to create separation between personal identity and workplace challenges. Key Takeaways: Understand Why We Take Things Personally Thoughtful leaders are introspective and tend to overanalyse situations. Low confidence or comparison to extroverted colleagues can make leaders more vulnerable to negative self-talk. Examine the Context Write down the factors involved in a situation and assess how many are actually about you. Extract the Lessons Separate self-blame from constructive learning by asking: What would I do differently next time? Consider the Other Person’s Motive Most negative interactions are influenced by external factors unrelated to you, like stress or fear. Learn more about the Iceberg Model of Human Behaviour in Episode 209. Question Expectations Ask yourself whether unrealistic “shoulds” are driving your reactions. Use Psychological Distancing Describe the situation as if you were a fly on the wall to gain a more objective perspective. Reframe the issue by imagining how you’d advise a respected colleague in the same situation. Resources Mentioned: What is Self-Concept? How to Accept Feedback in a Useful Way Should You Be Yourself or Adapt to Your Audience? Low in Confidence? That’s a Good Thing Thoughtful Leader Podcast #209: How to Build Empathy Using the Iceberg Model 3 Ways to Reduce Unhelpful Thinking Leadership Confidence Online Course: Get 50% off with code CONFIDENCE-50. Check it out here. Connect with Ben Brearley: Website: www.thoughtfulleader.com LinkedIn: Connect with Ben Email: [email protected] 🎧 Enjoyed this episode? Leave a review and share it with fellow thoughtful leaders! Your support helps spread the message of better leadership.