86. How to Measure Your Sex Addiction Recovery: How Recovered Are You? How Do You Know?

Dr. Trish Leigh uses advanced neuroscience technology to treat men with sex and porn addiction. In this episode, she explains to listeners how it works. Dr. Leigh looks for dysfunctional brain patterns and then prescribes the appropriate treatment strategy. She is the author of the book, “Mind Over Explicit Matter. Quit Porn and Improve Intimacy Through Neuroscience.” She also has an extremely robust YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DrTrishLeigh You can find her at her website https://drtrishleigh.com/ If you are a high-performer looking for a sex addiction recovery group full of other successful men to connect with in recovery, visit my website: www.successfuladdict.com

What we measure matters. Without measurement and monitoring, how do you know if you’re getting closer to where you want to be? This is absolutely true for sex addiction recovery. Most of the men I talk to are checking boxes but not following a recovery plan. Addicts need to understand what caused them to act out so that they can create a plan to prevent it from happening again. We see a high relapse rate in this field, and I don’t believe it’s because recovery is hard… I believe it's because most men do not have a clear understanding of how and why it happened. Your sex addiction recovery plan should be mapped out and should include milestones that you can monitor as you progress. For married men, your wife should be aware of your plan and how you’re measuring success. This will help her regain trust and safety. If you need help creating your recovery plan, visit my website: successfuladdict.com

In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter explains his integrity model and how it can be used in sex addiction recovery. As many of you know from listening to my podcast, I admire Jake Porter and all he has done for the field of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. His approach has helped so many couples heal their marriages and betrayed partners regain their sense of self. In this episode, Jake and I break “integrity” into its components. Integrity is so much bigger than people realize. It’s more than simply being honest. Integrity requires health in all areas of your life. Jake has a ton of amazing offerings for sex addicts, betrayed partners, and couples healing from betrayal. Check out his website at https://www.daringventures.com/ If you are a high-achiever, executive, professional, or entrepreneur looking for like-minded men to connect with in recovery, check out my website: www.successfuladdict.com

In this brief podcast episode, I talk about what 95% of sex addicts blame for their slips and relapses… and it's a total excuse. It’s not their fault. They don’t mean to make excuses. But, there’s certainly a more productive way to get to the root cause of their acting-out behavior. To be in good recovery, you must know WHY you do the things you do. If you want help discovering the WHY behind your sex or porn addiction, visit my website. My groups are RECOVERY groups… not sobriety groups. Long-term change is what you need, not sobriety. If you’re a high-achiever, executive, sales professional, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group, visit successfuladdict.com

Sex addiction is much bigger than most people realize. While it's often discussed that sex and porn addiction are a result of childhood trauma, emotional regulation, entitlement, etc. There are many more reasons why someone would become sexually compulsive. In this episode, I interview Jeremy Mast, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He and I discuss how big this problem is and the wide variety of things that men will need to explore if they are going to get into good recovery. If you want to connect with Jeremy and explore working with him or one of his therapists, visit his website: https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com/ If you are looking for a recovery group designed specifically for high-achieving men, visit my website at www.successfuladdict.com

Sex addiction sucks because it's the one you’re not allowed to have. You can struggle with most every other problem… but not this problem. Compassion will be hard to come by given the trauma you will cause your wife and family. Society has its view of what a “sex addict” is. A pervert, a freak, a weirdo, someone who is unsafe to have around kids, etc. And, there certainly can be career consequences. I personally have experienced a loss of professional opportunities due to publicly announcing what my wife and I were dealing with. It sucks to have a problem that people will not let you have. And, because compassion and understanding will be in rare supply, you need to find a peer-support group that you can lean on through this. Otherwise, relapse is a realistic possibility. If you’re a successful guy looking for a group of other high-achieving men to recover with, head to my website: successfuladdict.com

Sarah Morales is the founder of Deconstructing Gaslighting. In this episode, we define gaslighting. What it is, what it isn’t, and what to do about it. Sex addicts often gaslight their partners before, during, and after discovery. Recovering from this form of deception can be very challenging for betrayed partners, especially in the midst of betrayal trauma. In this episode, Sarah and I deconstruct gaslighting in a way that both sex addicts and betrayed partners can understand. We also provide couples with some clarity on how to move forward. If you want to discover more about Sarah's work, visit her website heret: https://www.sarahmoralescoaching.com/ If you’re a high-achiever, executive, or entrepreneur looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men. Visit my website at successfuladdict.com

It's a common assumption… “Roland, don't you think that these men need to hang out with men who are NOT like them? Don’t you think this adds to their ego and narcissistic traits?” No… I strongly disagree. In fact, the fastest way for them to get over their superiority complex, grandiosity, and narcissistic traits is to be around men who are struggling in the same way. Yes, these traits are largely responsible for their sex addiction. Therefore, they need to be a HUGE focus in their recovery. This episode discusses why it’s essential to prioritize addressing these unwanted traits at the top of your recovery list. If you are a high-achiever looking for a recovery group full of like-minded men, visit our website to apply: www.successfuladdict.com

This episode is much different than anything I’ve done. It’s a personal story of the pain that sex addiction can bring to a family. Kendra agreed to share her story with my audience. As you will clearly hear in her voice, sharing this was not easy for her. Sex addiction and betrayal trauma are more than just mental health diagnoses… these are people's lives that are being affected. Kendra shared her story here to help those who have been and are currently being affected by sex addiction and the pain that follows discovery. Her hope was that this episode might help families out there who are feeling similar pain. You’re not alone. And, there’s a way forward. I honor Kendra for sharing this deeply personal story with us. And, I ask that when you listen to this episode, you hold it in an honorable and respectful place. If your family has been personally affected by sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior, Kendra is a therapist and may be able to help you. Send me an email if you’d like to be connected to her.

Successful men with a sex addiction often get criticized for their entitlement, grandiosity, or their superiority complex. But, where do these traits come from? I’ll be the first to admit that my sex addiction stems from these traits. But, I wasn’t always that way. How did this happen to me? I have my theory. And, I present it in this podcast. I would love to hear your perception of WHY men are becoming entitled and develop the desire to be superior. Head to my website to send me a message via the contact form: successfuladdict.com If you want to dive deeper into this topic of entitlement, superiority, and attention seeking, read my book. You can find it here on Amazon or Audible for the audiobook: https://a.co/d/dEkZbHC