The Hardcore Therapist 83.5- How do I know if I’m in a trauma bond or a healthy relationship?

On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist,  we have a special guest. Hailing from West Michigan, Sam Rottschafer has an incredible talent for capturing life through his lens—whether it’s the high-energy atmosphere of a concert, the breathtaking serenity of a landscape, or the raw emotion in a portrait. Guided by the art of storytelling, Sam’s photography isn’t just about taking pictures; it’s about freezing moments in time and turning them into lasting memories. I’m excited to dive into his journey, creative process, and what inspires him behind the camera.https://www.samrottschafer.com/

A trauma bond is when you’re deeply attached to someone who’s hurting you — emotionally, physically, or psychologically — and it’s that cycle of pain, then love-bombing, then pain again that makes you stick around. You’re basically bonded through repeated betrayal and emotional chaos. It’s that feeling of 'I know this is bad for me, but I can’t walk away.'Key signs:You rationalize bad behavior constantly.You feel addicted to the highs and lows.You feel drained, not energized, after being with them.Your gut says 'get out,' but your heart says 'maybe it'll change.'There’s an uneven power dynamic — you’re walking on eggshells, they're walking free.It’s NOT love. It’s survival mode dressed up like love.

Today, we have an incredible guest who embodies the true essence of music, art, and hardcore culture. Born and raised in New York, he's been immersed in creativity from an early age, coming from a family of musicians. As a teenager, he found his love for graffiti—a bold and expressive art form that exploded in the '80s—and quickly became part of a movement that blended street art with the hardcore music scene.His passion for both art and music has been a driving force throughout his life. Since joining the legendary New York Hardcore band Agnostic Front as their bass player in the winter of 2001, he's toured the world—from Europe to South America to Japan—experiencing diverse cultures that continue to inspire his creativity.Beyond the stage, he channels his artistic vision into his own online store, offering a new way to share his work with the world. A true artist, musician, and adventurer, I’m thrilled to welcome Mike Gallo to The Hardcore Therapist Podcast.

 What happens when the entire family system bends over backwards to cater to the most toxic person in the room?I’m talking about the person who wrecks every holiday, throws emotional grenades at family events, and somehow... everyone else ends up apologizing to them.If this is ringing some uncomfortable bells for you, stick around. You are absolutely not alone — and you’re not crazy for feeling exhausted."We are going to get into it!

Today’s guest is an absolute powerhouse in the plant-based world. Natalie Slater is a Chicago-based vegan cookbook author, content creator, and all-around food industry badass. She’s the go-to expert for high-protein vegan eats and isn’t afraid to drop some hot takes on the plant-based food scene. As the Director of Sales and Marketing for Upton’s Naturals, she’s shaping the future of vegan protein. You might’ve seen her in the CM Punk documentary Best In the World, throwing down on Cupcake Wars, or baking up a storm on The Perfect 3.

“Can you really rewire your brain for positivity?”It sounds a little... woo-woo, right? Like something you'd see on a Pinterest quote board. But here's the thing—it’s not just a feel-good idea. There’s actual neuroscience to back it up. So today, we’re digging into how our brains work, why they’re wired to lean negative by default, and how we can shift that wiring toward a more positive, grounded, and empowered mindset.

On this Episode of the Hardcore Therapist, I had the pleasure to speak with Joe Bando who will be sharing his journey, starting in the underground hardcore music scene of Cleveland, Ohio—a world of raw energy and defiance that shaped his path in comedy. Along the way,he has overcome a childhood marked by severe abuse, rebuilt his life through entrepreneurship, and embraced personal responsibility through a 110-pound weight loss on a carnivore diet. He will talk about his navigated estrangement and reconciliation in fatherhood, found love and wisdom in marriage to a psychologist, and stood firm as a business owner and performer during the COVID-19 lockdowns.

Hey everyone, welcome back to The Hardcore Therapist! I’m so glad you’re here. Today we’re diving into a question that hits close to home for a lot of us:“How do I set boundaries without feeling guilty—and what do I do if someone crosses my boundaries after I was clear about them?”Whew. This is a big one. And if you're anything like me—or like most of the people I work with—you’ve probably struggled with this at some point.Questions to ask yourself if you struggle with boundaries:“Where in my life am I consistently feeling drained—and what boundary could help protect my energy there?”“What kind of pushback am I afraid of—and what does that fear really say about my past experiences?”

On this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, Kyle Donovan and Tyler Hillman, members of the Michigan Hardcore band Suffer No Fools. They're celebrating the release of their debut album, "To Live Is To Suffer," which is out  now via Heroes + Martyrs.

Today, we’re diving into a loaded, raw, and often painful topic—how to let go of people who don’t enhance your life—including family.I’m not here to sugarcoat this. I’m here to help you honor your mental health, even when it means making decisions that go against every message you've been taught about loyalty, tradition, or what it means to be a “good person.”Prompts for Healing:Take a moment—right now or later today—and grab a journal, a voice note app, or even just some quiet time alone. Ask yourself the following questions:Who in my life consistently leaves me feeling drained, anxious, or unseen? (Name them without judgment—this is about truth, not blame.)What have I tried to do to change or heal this relationship? Have those efforts been mutual? (Notice if you’ve been carrying the weight alone.)What would protecting my peace look like with this person?Less contact?Stronger boundaries?Emotional distance?Full disconnection?What am I afraid will happen if I let go? (Get honest about the guilt, fear of backlash, or fear of being alone.)What might open up in my life if I create space from this person? (Energy, clarity, new relationships, joy, rest, freedom?)Bonus Prompt:Write a letter you’ll never send to this person. Say everything you’ve never had the safety to say. Then either keep it, burn it, or delete it—but let it move through you.