Navigating Divorce Conflict: The Skills That Change What Happens Next

Conflict Resolution Week usually spotlights processes: mediation, negotiation, collaborative practice. But every process depends on the people in it. In this episode, Tracy Callahan, MA, ADRDC, founder of Divorce Coaches Academy®, celebrates the professionals who work with the individual inside the dispute: divorce coaches.In this episode:Why divorce coaching is conflict resolution work, not “just emotional support”How coaches help clients recognize, regulate, and engage conflictWhy coaching strengthens the work of attorneys and mediatorsFour signals that it’s time to refer a client to a divorce coach, and when coaching isn’t the right fitStop, Drop, and Roll: a simple approach for interrupting conflict patterns in divorce and co-parentingA thank-you to the divorce coaches doing work no court record ever showsCases close. The skills stay.Learn more about the ADR Divorce Coach (ADRDC) certification at Divorce Coaches AcademyFind an ADR trained Divorce Coach for you or your clients

A disagreement about pickup times, schedule changes, or activities can become a position a parent defends for years. What can divorce coaches do earlier to help parents navigate those moments more thoughtfully?In this episode, Tracy Callahan draws on her work in divorce coaching and parenting coordination to explore how unresolved concerns become entrenched positions—and how coaches can help clients examine what those positions protect, what they cost, and whether they still serve the parent and child.Through practical examples and coaching questions, Tracy discusses how to help parents distinguish facts from interpretations, evaluate requests, practice clearer communication, and maintain effective boundaries. She also explores how to keep children’s needs visible without making them responsible for adult disagreements.This is central to the work of ADR divorce coaching: supporting clients in navigating current conflict while preparing them for the difficult conversations and decisions ahead. By helping clients understand their concerns, examine their assumptions, and practice useful skills, coaches support more thoughtful participation in the divorce process and the parenting relationship that continues afterward.Continue the learningOur new six-week live course, Coaching Parents Through Conflict: Reducing Escalation, Strengthening Parenting Plans, and Keeping Children at the Center, brings this work into practice through case examples, discussion, and applied exercises. Designed for divorce coaches and related family dispute resolution professionals, the course explores escalation patterns, parenting triggers, entrenched positions, communication, boundaries, and parenting-plan details that can become recurring sources of conflict.Classes meet live online on Mondays, November 9–December 14, 2026, from 1:00–2:30 p.m. Eastern, for nine instructional hours. This is professional development and does not confer certification or an additional credential.Register before October 26 and use code GROW to receive $100 off.Visit DivorceCoachesAcademy.com to learn more about the course and our work preparing divorce coaches to support clients in navigating conflict with greater clarity, skill, and purpose.

Knowing you need to handle conflict differently doesn’t always mean knowing how.In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® podcast, Tracy Callahan explores how divorce coaches help clients develop practical skills for navigating conflict, from pausing before responding and examining assumptions to making clear requests and evaluating difficult decisions.Through relatable examples and thoughtful coaching questions, Tracy examines how professionals can help clients apply these skills when emotions run high, decisions need to be made, and participate more deliberately in the divorce process.At Divorce Coaches Academy® (DCA®), skill development is central to our approach to professional divorce coaching grounded in dispute resolution. This episode brings that approach into practice, with insights for divorce coaches and ADR professionals who want to help clients build capacity they can carry into their next challenging interaction.Learn more about DCA® and our professional training programs at https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com

What does it really take to build a divorce coaching practice, before the referrals are consistent, the calendar is full, or the results fully reflect the effort?In this episode, Tracy Callahan speaks with DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach Karen Yurack, founder of White Oak Divorce Coaching. Karen launched her North Carolina-based practice after more than 19 years as a family law paralegal, bringing together decades of professional experience, her personal understanding of divorce and blended-family life, and a commitment to providing the support she often saw missing from the legal process.Karen shares an honest, behind-the-scenes look at building a practice from the ground up: networking, creating meaningful professional relationships, becoming visible, explaining the value of divorce coaching, moving beyond her comfort zone, and continuing through the quieter periods when effort and results do not yet match.The conversation was inspired, in part, by Dr. Vivienne Ming’s idea of being a “fanatic”—someone so deeply connected to the purpose of their work that they continue pursuing it because the work itself matters. Tracy was introduced to this idea through Conversations That Contribute, organized by DCA® mentor Carolyn Jacobs in support of Kids in Conflict.Together, Tracy and Karen explore what sustains a new entrepreneur, how to recognize progress beyond immediate revenue, and why building a successful practice requires persistence, adaptability, professional community, and a strong connection to the reason the work matters.This episode offers realistic expectations and meaningful encouragement for newly certified divorce coaches, established professionals growing their practices, and anyone considering the leap into entrepreneurship.Connect with Karen Yurack and White Oak Divorce Coaching:Website: https://whiteoakdivorcecoaching.comEmail: [email protected] more about Divorce Coaches Academy®: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comLearn more about Conversations that Contribute: https://www.keepslowing.com/events

“You have to love your children more than you hate your ex.” It’s a familiar phrase, but what does it offer a parent who believes the fight with their co-parent is for their child?In this solo episode, Tracy Callahan explores how blame can become a lens through which every missed message, changed plan, or difficult exchange seems to confirm the worst about the other parent. For divorce coaches and ADR professionals, the challenge is to interrupt that cycle without dismissing a client’s history, minimizing a genuine concern, or asking them to give up an appropriate legal remedy.Through practical examples, Tracy discusses how to help clients separate facts from assumptions, identify the decision in front of them, and respond with their child’s needs in view. The goal is not forgiveness or forced cooperation. It is helping a parent make the next decision with more than anger in the room.To learn more about the work of divorce coaching and how Divorce Coaches Academy® prepares professionals to support clients through conflict, visit divorcecoachesacademy.com

Should parents stay together for the kids, or are we asking the wrong question?In this episode, Tracy Callahan explores what children need when a marriage is struggling. Drawing on comments from Real Housewives of New York City star Sai de Silva and a Census Bureau working paper examining children’s long-term outcomes after divorce, Tracy considers the financial, emotional, and practical consequences of family change—and why population averages cannot determine what one family should do.The conversation examines how financial strain, relocation, parental distance, and ongoing conflict can shape children’s experiences. It also explores how divorce coaches can help parents anticipate challenges, prepare for difficult decisions, and protect children from becoming caught in adult conflict.Whether parents remain married or separate, the central question is: What will they do to create a safer, steadier, and more supportive environment for their children?Interested in learning more about the professional practice of divorce coaching and helping clients navigate these complex questions? Explore Divorce Coaches Academy® and discover how our training can help you support clients through conflict, decision-making, and family change.

In this episode, Tracy Callahan explores the growing use of AI in divorce and co-parenting communication and asks an important question: Are we simply improving the communication, or are we developing the communicator? AI can help clients draft better responses, reduce escalation and think through difficult interactions, but it can also become a substitute for developing the skills needed to navigate conflict independently. Tracy examines what this means for divorce coaches and how AI can be used to support—not replace—the development of conflict competency, decision-making and client capacity.TakeawaysAI as a communication toolDeveloping conflict competencyChapters00:00 The Role of AI in Communication03:23 Bandage vs. Treatment10:45 Communication and Conflict Management19:37 The Value of Divorce Coaching25:06 AI as a Tool for Conflict Competency31:51 Developing Capacity for Conflict NavigationLearn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®, explore professional training programs, and discover resources for advancing your divorce coaching practice at https://divorcecoachesacademy.com.

Knowing what you want before divorce mediation may sound like good preparation. But when a client enters mediation committed to one specific outcome, with no ability to explore alternatives, that certainty can make negotiation more difficult.In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, Tracy Callahan explores “the proposal problem” and why being ready to attend mediation is not the same as being ready to negotiate. Effective mediation preparation requires more than identifying and defending a preferred outcome. Clients must also understand why that outcome matters, what problem they are trying to solve, where flexibility may exist, what information is missing, and whether other possibilities could address the same priorities.Tracy explains how divorce, uncertainty, financial concerns, parenting decisions, and prolonged conflict can narrow a person’s thinking. A house, parenting schedule, support amount, or retirement asset can become the individual “tree” that prevents someone from seeing the larger landscape. By exploring the proposal behind the proposal, clients can better understand the needs, fears, values, and interests influencing their decisions.This episode also examines the specialized role of a pre-mediation divorce coach. Divorce coaches do not provide legal advice, evaluate settlement offers, recommend what clients should propose, or tell them what to accept. Instead, they help clients build conflict competency, ask better questions, recognize reactions, clarify priorities, consider possibilities, and identify when guidance is needed from an attorney, mediator, CPA, CDFA, or other professional.You will learn:• Why knowing what you want is not enough for effective divorce mediation• The difference between positions, interests, proposals, and possibilities• How to identify the problem behind a preferred outcome• Why understanding the other person’s interests does not mean agreeing with them• How pre-mediation divorce coaching supports informed decision making• Why scope of practice and professional role clarity matter• How better preparation can improve the work of attorneys, mediators, and financial professionalsThe next Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach Training at Divorce Coaches Academy® begins September 16. This six-week specialized program is open to certified divorce coaches and mediators who want to help clients prepare more effectively for negotiation, decision making, and participation in mediation.Learn more about the Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach Training with Divorce Coaches Academy® at: https://divorce-coaches-academy1.thinkific.com/courses/dca-pre-mediation-divorce-coach-training-intensive-sept-2026www.divo

Financial decisions made during divorce can affect your life for decades. Yet many people enter the process without fully understanding their assets, expenses, retirement accounts, tax considerations, or what their financial life may look like after the divorce is final.In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, host Debra Doak is joined by Alyssa Miller, CFP®, CDFA®, CDC®, CLTC®, a private wealth advisor with Feldmeyer Financial Group and co-founder and managing director of Alternative Divorce Solutions.Debra and Alyssa discuss why financial literacy is essential during divorce and how gaining even a basic understanding of your financial picture can improve confidence, strengthen decision making, and help you evaluate settlement options more effectively.Many couples divide financial responsibilities during marriage. One spouse may manage household expenses while the other oversees investments, retirement accounts, taxes, or long-term planning. When divorce begins, that division of responsibility can leave one person feeling overwhelmed, embarrassed, or unprepared to participate in important financial conversations.Alyssa explains why there is no shame in not knowing what you have not yet had the opportunity to learn. The goal is not to become a financial expert overnight. It is to understand enough to ask informed questions, recognize the long-term impact of different options, and know when additional professional support is needed.Debra and Alyssa explore:• Why equal and fair do not always mean the same thing in a divorce settlement• How to gather bank statements, credit card records, tax returns, investment information, and other financial documents• Why understanding monthly income and expenses is critical before evaluating settlement options• How budgeting can help clients prepare for life after divorce• What to consider before deciding to keep the marital home• How refinancing, interest rates, maintenance, taxes, insurance, and repairs affect affordability• Why keeping the home may require giving up retirement funds, investments, or accessible cash• How traditional retirement accounts and Roth accounts may have different tax consequences• Why pensions, military benefits, federal retirement plans, 401(k)s, and other accounts may require specialized guidance• What individuals can do during the first 90 days after divorce to begin building financial stability• Why asking for qualified help can increase confidence and reduce costly mistakesA settlement may appear reasonable on paper but still fail to support the life a client needs to live. Financial literacy helps clients look beyond what they are dividing today and consider whether their decisions will remain practical and sustainable tomorrow.The most important takeaway is simple: Do not be afraid to ask for help. Divorce involves too many consequential financial decisions to navigate with your eyes closed. Education, preparation, and the right professional team can help you understand your options, regain a sense of control, and make decisions that support your future.Learn more about Alyssa Miller and Alternative Divorce Solutions:https://alternativedivorcesolutions.com/about/alyssa-miller/Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®:https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.comFind a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach:https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator

Should I get a divorce? It’s a simple question that can carry months—or even years—of uncertainty, fear, grief, guilt, frustration, and competing priorities. In this episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy® Podcast, host Tracy Callahan explores the internal conflict that often begins long before a divorce petition is filed, a parenting plan is created, or a couple enters mediation.For conflict-informed divorce coaches, the goal is not to tell clients whether they should stay married or get divorced. The goal is to help them understand the decision they are facing. Tracy explains how coaches can explore the interests beneath fixed positions, recognize ambivalence as valuable information, and help clients distinguish facts from fears, assumptions, interpretations, and predictions.This episode examines the powerful narratives people may attach to divorce, including beliefs about failure, finances, parenting, identity, and the effect of separation on children. Tracy also discusses the importance of listening for absolute language such as “always,” “never,” “can’t,” and “I have no choice,” while asking thoughtful questions that expand a client’s perspective without minimizing legitimate concerns.Listeners will learn how emotional urgency can narrow thinking, why preparation supports better decision-making, and how missing information can make an already difficult choice feel impossible. Tracy also addresses professional boundaries, appropriate referrals, client self-determination, and the divorce coach’s responsibility to remain curious, supportive, and non-directive.Whether you are a divorce coach, mediator, attorney, mental health professional, financial professional, or someone contemplating separation or divorce, this conversation offers a thoughtful framework for understanding the conflict beneath the question. The objective is not to make decisions for clients—it is to create the conditions in which informed, intentional, and self-directed decisions become possible.Divorce Coaches Academy® provides professional divorce coach training, advanced skill development, practical tools, and conflict-informed frameworks designed to help coaches support clients responsibly and effectively before, during, and after divorce.Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy®, explore professional training programs, and discover resources for advancing your divorce coaching practice at https://divorcecoachesacademy.com.