335: Rewriting sexual scripts with Lauren Elise Rogers

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman interviews Lauren Elise Rogers, a certified holistic sexuality educator and intimacy coach. They discuss the journey from a sex-negative upbringing to crafting a fulfilling and values-aligned sex life. Lauren shares her personal story of overcoming restrictive beliefs rooted in a conservative religious background, through education, therapy, and self-discovery. They explore the concept of sexual scripts and the importance of integrating positive sexual beliefs and values into one's life. The discussion touches on the impact of societal and cultural narratives on sexuality, the role of media, and the significance of writing one's own sexual values mission statement. The episode aims to inspire listeners to rethink and reclaim their sexual identities.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:48 Guest Introduction: Lauren Elise Rogers02:02 Lauren's Background and Upbringing03:47 Marriage and Personal Struggles05:01 Turning Point and Seeking Help07:33 Rebuilding and New Beginnings10:48 Professional Journey and Current Work13:08 Exploring Sexual Scripts and Beliefs16:20 Exploring Sexual Scripts and Improv17:32 Revisiting Sexual Beliefs and Values19:17 Crafting a Sexual Values Mission Statement21:33 Integrating Sexuality into Everyday Life25:00 The Role of Erotic Literature29:14 Connecting and Resources30:35 Conclusion and Listener EngagementFind my quizzes at https://www.desirediscrepancy.comBio:Lauren Elise Rogers is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy & Relationship Coach, celebrated for her warm and approachable style. Her holistic and embodied approach to education and coaching is deeply rooted in her own pain-to-purpose journey. Lauren brings an empathetic and non-judgmental approach, offering practical tools that empower her clients to take ownership of their pleasure and grow in confidence and connection. She is known for creating shame-free spaces, where she invites individuals and couples to navigate complex topics like long-term partnerships, consensual non-monogamy, life transitions, purity culture and LGBTQIA+ issues.www.sexedforyou.com/free consultpodcast: The Partnership Podcast. Sex Ed for You@sex_ed_for_youWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of Better Sex, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, listeners are guided through the complexities behind the lack of sexual intimacy in relationships. Zimmerman discusses the factors that contribute to this issue, such as changes in brain chemistry, desire discrepancies, emotional connection, and life stressors. She provides insight into common feelings, like shame and inadequacy, and offers practical strategies for couples to improve their intimate lives. Emphasis is placed on the importance of addressing relationship problems, rediscovering emotional connection, adapting to changes, and open communication without blame. Professional help is recommended for persistent issues, with advice on seeking certified sex therapists. The episode aims to reassure couples that they are not alone and provide actionable steps to enhance their sexual and emotional bonds.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:57 Understanding the Lack of Sex in Relationships01:41 Normalizing Sexual Struggles03:12 Addressing Desire Discrepancies04:13 Identifying Relationship Strengths06:13 Common Reasons for Reduced Sexual Activity13:06 Rebuilding Emotional and Physical Connection19:43 Seeking Professional Help21:16 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes author Tash Doherty to discuss her work on a spicy coming-of-age novel and a sex writing journal. Doherty shares her goal of helping people explore their sexuality and desires through writing while confronting shame. The conversation delves into her personal experiences, creative process, and the impact of sharing intimate stories publicly. The episode also highlights an upcoming Kickstarter for Doherty's journal, aiming to guide individuals in their sexual exploration. Listeners are encouraged to visit her blog and join the project. Overall, the discussion offers insights into the power of writing to deepen one's understanding of sexuality and reduce shame.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:50 Guest Introduction: Tash Doherty01:41 Tash's Journey in Writing02:50 Exploring Personal Experiences in Writing04:30 Challenges and Vulnerabilities in Writing07:33 The Impact of Writing on Personal Growth13:23 The Benefits of Sex Journaling21:38 Kickstarter and Final Thoughts23:17 Conclusion and Listener EngagementWant to share your personal story on the podcast? It can be done anonymously. Email us at [email protected]:Tash Doherty is a British-Irish-American writer and author. She is the creator of Misseducated, a blog, and podcast on a mission to help the world be shamelessly sexy. She started writing her first novel, These Perfectly Careless Things, when she was 14 years old and self-published the book in September 2023 (finally achieving her childhood dream). These Perfectly Careless Things is a spicy, coming-of-age Young Adult novel set in London. Tash has also gone viral on TikTok for over-sharing her birth control experience.‍Tash graduated from the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania, where she studied Business Analytics and Management. In other lives, she worked in analytics at Postmates and Vox Media and still does corporate consulting to pay them pesky bills. She lives in Mexico City.misseducated.substack.comWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Why do women fake orgasm — and what does it really mean for the relationship? In this video, we dive deep into the real reasons women pretend to climax, from avoiding conflict and protecting their partner’s ego to feeling pressure to “perform.” You’ll learn what’s actually happening beneath the surface, why faking it can create emotional distance, and how couples can rebuild honesty, safety, and genuine pleasure in bed.If you’ve ever wondered:Why do women fake orgasm even when they love their partner?What does it say about desire, communication, or compatibility?How can couples start having real, connected sex again?This conversation will help you understand the dynamics at play — and how to shift from performance to true intimacy.Listen now to explore the psychology behind why women fake orgasm, and how both partners can move toward honesty, ease, and real satisfaction.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:56 Why Women Fake Orgasms03:09 The Cost of Faking Orgasms04:21 How to Address Faking Orgasms with Your Partner04:55 A Real-Life Example06:44 Encouragement for Open Communication07:46 Conclusion and Listener EngagementWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Should You Take HRT? | Hormone Replacement, Menopause & Perimenopause ExplainedAre you navigating perimenopause or menopause and wondering, “should I take HRT?” In this video, Dr. Sarah Daccarett and I break down hormone replacement therapy (HRT), how it works, risks, benefits, and who might be a good candidate. We also explore the hormonal shifts during perimenopause and menopause, and ways to manage symptoms naturally (or with medical support).Topics covered include:What HRT is and how it replaces lost estrogen and progesteroneTypical symptoms of perimenopause and menopause (hot flashes, low libido, mood swings, vaginal dryness)Pros and cons of taking hormone replacement therapyDifferent HRT options: bioidentical vs. synthetic, delivery methods (pills, patches, creams)Underlying health factors to consider (heart health, cancer risk, bone density)Signs that HRT may be helpful — and when to avoid itComplementary strategies: diet, lifestyle, herbal supports, stress reductionHow to talk to your doctor about HRT and make an informed decisionIf you're asking, “Is it safe? Will it help me feel like myself again?” — this is the conversation for you.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:51 Guest Introduction: Dr. Sarah Dakkar on Hormone Balance01:32 Dr. Dakkar's Journey into Hormone Therapy02:11 Understanding Hormone Imbalances03:24 Challenges and Misconceptions in Hormone Therapy05:14 Common Hormone Imbalances and Their Effects12:21 Environmental and Lifestyle Factors18:15 Sexual Health and Hormone Imbalances20:37 The Role of Estrogen in Women's Health21:56 Challenges Women Face with Medical Professionals23:04 Effective Hormone Replacement Therapy25:41 Understanding Individualized Treatment29:41 Risks and Benefits of HRT34:45 Product Information and Accessibility37:03 Conclusion and ResourcesWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Can a Sexless Marriage Be Happy? | Understanding Low Desire, Intimacy, and Relationship SatisfactionCan a marriage without sex still be a happy one? In this episode, we explore what it really means to be in a sexless marriage—from couples who are mutually content without sex to those where one partner feels lonely, rejected, or frustrated.We’ll look at the common reasons for a sexless marriage, including conflict, emotional distance, mismatched libidos, sexual dysfunction, trauma, menopause, and avoidance patterns that quietly erode connection over time. You’ll learn practical steps to rebuild intimacy, overcome sexual avoidance, and start creating a healthy, fulfilling sexual relationship again.And for those facing a partner who’s unwilling to address the issue, we’ll talk about what it means to choose happiness, fulfillment, and self-respect—whether or not the sexual dynamic ever changes.If you’ve ever wondered whether love can last without sex—or how to bring desire back when it’s faded—this conversation is for you.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:58 Can You Be Happy in a Sexless Marriage?01:47 Understanding the Causes of a Sexless Marriage02:27 Addressing Sexual Avoidance and Rebuilding Intimacy05:26 When One Partner is Unwilling to Work on the Relationship06:03 Making the Final Decision07:36 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Dr. Winnifred Cutler to discuss her extensive research on pheromones and their impact on human sexuality. Dr. Cutler, a passionate researcher, shares her journey from psychology graduate student to becoming a leading expert in the field of pheromones. The conversation covers the history of pheromones, the different types, and their effects on human attraction, fertility, and romantic behavior. Dr. Cutler also highlights her development of pheromone products and shares testimonials of their impactful use. Tune in to learn about pheromones' scientific basis and their potential to enhance intimate relationships.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:53 Guest Introduction: Dr. Winnifred Cutler01:53 Dr. Cutler's Journey into Pheromone Research03:33 Understanding Pheromones04:54 Types of Pheromones07:17 Sex Attractant Pheromones10:57 Developing Pheromone Products13:32 Testing and Results18:59 Pheromones for Men21:37 Chemical Compounds and Romantic Gestures21:56 Tracking Sexual Behaviors24:04 Testimonials and Effects of Pheromones26:32 Natural Production of Pheromones29:50 Pheromones and Same-Sex Attraction30:58 Global Reach and Customer Insights33:57 Impact of Pheromones in Academic Settings38:48 Athena Institute and Women's Health40:35 Conclusion and Podcast InformationJessa's desire discrepancy resources can be found at https://www.desirediscrepancy.comBio:Dr. Winnifred Cutler, B.S. in Psychology cum laude from Ursinus College in 1973, earned her Ph.D. in Biology from the University of Pennsylvania in 1979 followed by postdoctoral work in behavioral endocrinology at Stanford University. In 1985 she co-founded the Women's Wellness Program at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. She has published over 50 scientific papers, is co-inventor on 5 patents and author of eight books on women's health translated into 7 languages - including the 2020 (3rd) edition of Love Cycles: The Science of Intimacy chronicling both her discovery of Human Pheromones and development of successful formulas as well as her book, Hormones and Your Health: The Smart Woman's Guide to Hormonal and Alternative Therapies for Menopause with essential information for women over age 35 to achieve their 'personal-best' health.Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the crucial role of experiential practice in improving intimate relationships. She underscores the importance of embodying the knowledge gained through communication, challenging myths about sex, and understanding desire. Drawing on her Intimacy With Ease Method, Zimmerman highlights the need for hands-on experiences to truly transform one's sex life. Listeners are provided with valuable resources and are encouraged to actively practice the concepts discussed to achieve meaningful change in their intimate lives.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex01:02 The Importance of Experiential Practice01:21 The Intimacy with Ease Method02:55 Practical Exercises and Analogies03:39 The Giver Receiver Exercise04:39 The Role of Experiential Learning in Sex Therapy05:35 Resources and ConclusionWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman addresses the challenging topic of how to approach your partner about going to sex therapy. Drawing from her experience with clients, Jessa provides valuable insights on framing the conversation in a positive light. She emphasizes the importance of mutual cooperation and understanding, and the need to avoid blame or shame when discussing sexual concerns. Jessa offers practical advice on breaking down barriers and seeking professional help to improve intimacy and strengthen relationships.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:51 Discussing Sex Therapy with Your Partner02:24 Understanding Both Partners' Perspectives03:43 Approaching the Conversation Positively05:04 Conclusion and Additional ResourcesWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass