334: [Soapbox] What do you do about the lack of sex in your relationship

In this episode of Better Sex, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, listeners are guided through the complexities behind the lack of sexual intimacy in relationships. Zimmerman discusses the factors that contribute to this issue, such as changes in brain chemistry, desire discrepancies, emotional connection, and life stressors. She provides insight into common feelings, like shame and inadequacy, and offers practical strategies for couples to improve their intimate lives. Emphasis is placed on the importance of addressing relationship problems, rediscovering emotional connection, adapting to changes, and open communication without blame. Professional help is recommended for persistent issues, with advice on seeking certified sex therapists. The episode aims to reassure couples that they are not alone and provide actionable steps to enhance their sexual and emotional bonds.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:57 Understanding the Lack of Sex in Relationships01:41 Normalizing Sexual Struggles03:12 Addressing Desire Discrepancies04:13 Identifying Relationship Strengths06:13 Common Reasons for Reduced Sexual Activity13:06 Rebuilding Emotional and Physical Connection19:43 Seeking Professional Help21:16 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes author Tash Doherty to discuss her work on a spicy coming-of-age novel and a sex writing journal. Doherty shares her goal of helping people explore their sexuality and desires through writing while confronting shame. The conversation delves into her personal experiences, creative process, and the impact of sharing intimate stories publicly. The episode also highlights an upcoming Kickstarter for Doherty's journal, aiming to guide individuals in their sexual exploration. Listeners are encouraged to visit her blog and join the project. Overall, the discussion offers insights into the power of writing to deepen one's understanding of sexuality and reduce shame.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:50 Guest Introduction: Tash Doherty01:41 Tash's Journey in Writing02:50 Exploring Personal Experiences in Writing04:30 Challenges and Vulnerabilities in Writing07:33 The Impact of Writing on Personal Growth13:23 The Benefits of Sex Journaling21:38 Kickstarter and Final Thoughts23:17 Conclusion and Listener EngagementWant to share your personal story on the podcast? It can be done anonymously. Email us at [email protected]:Tash Doherty is a British-Irish-American writer and author. She is the creator of Misseducated, a blog, and podcast on a mission to help the world be shamelessly sexy. She started writing her first novel, These Perfectly Careless Things, when she was 14 years old and self-published the book in September 2023 (finally achieving her childhood dream). These Perfectly Careless Things is a spicy, coming-of-age Young Adult novel set in London. Tash has also gone viral on TikTok for over-sharing her birth control experience.‍Tash graduated from the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania, where she studied Business Analytics and Management. In other lives, she worked in analytics at Postmates and Vox Media and still does corporate consulting to pay them pesky bills. She lives in Mexico City.misseducated.substack.comWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Why do women fake orgasm — and what does it really mean for the relationship? In this video, we dive deep into the real reasons women pretend to climax, from avoiding conflict and protecting their partner’s ego to feeling pressure to “perform.” You’ll learn what’s actually happening beneath the surface, why faking it can create emotional distance, and how couples can rebuild honesty, safety, and genuine pleasure in bed.If you’ve ever wondered:Why do women fake orgasm even when they love their partner?What does it say about desire, communication, or compatibility?How can couples start having real, connected sex again?This conversation will help you understand the dynamics at play — and how to shift from performance to true intimacy.Listen now to explore the psychology behind why women fake orgasm, and how both partners can move toward honesty, ease, and real satisfaction.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:56 Why Women Fake Orgasms03:09 The Cost of Faking Orgasms04:21 How to Address Faking Orgasms with Your Partner04:55 A Real-Life Example06:44 Encouragement for Open Communication07:46 Conclusion and Listener EngagementWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Should You Take HRT? | Hormone Replacement, Menopause & Perimenopause ExplainedAre you navigating perimenopause or menopause and wondering, “should I take HRT?” In this video, Dr. Sarah Daccarett and I break down hormone replacement therapy (HRT), how it works, risks, benefits, and who might be a good candidate. We also explore the hormonal shifts during perimenopause and menopause, and ways to manage symptoms naturally (or with medical support).Topics covered include:What HRT is and how it replaces lost estrogen and progesteroneTypical symptoms of perimenopause and menopause (hot flashes, low libido, mood swings, vaginal dryness)Pros and cons of taking hormone replacement therapyDifferent HRT options: bioidentical vs. synthetic, delivery methods (pills, patches, creams)Underlying health factors to consider (heart health, cancer risk, bone density)Signs that HRT may be helpful — and when to avoid itComplementary strategies: diet, lifestyle, herbal supports, stress reductionHow to talk to your doctor about HRT and make an informed decisionIf you're asking, “Is it safe? Will it help me feel like myself again?” — this is the conversation for you.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:51 Guest Introduction: Dr. Sarah Dakkar on Hormone Balance01:32 Dr. Dakkar's Journey into Hormone Therapy02:11 Understanding Hormone Imbalances03:24 Challenges and Misconceptions in Hormone Therapy05:14 Common Hormone Imbalances and Their Effects12:21 Environmental and Lifestyle Factors18:15 Sexual Health and Hormone Imbalances20:37 The Role of Estrogen in Women's Health21:56 Challenges Women Face with Medical Professionals23:04 Effective Hormone Replacement Therapy25:41 Understanding Individualized Treatment29:41 Risks and Benefits of HRT34:45 Product Information and Accessibility37:03 Conclusion and ResourcesWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Can a Sexless Marriage Be Happy? | Understanding Low Desire, Intimacy, and Relationship SatisfactionCan a marriage without sex still be a happy one? In this episode, we explore what it really means to be in a sexless marriage—from couples who are mutually content without sex to those where one partner feels lonely, rejected, or frustrated.We’ll look at the common reasons for a sexless marriage, including conflict, emotional distance, mismatched libidos, sexual dysfunction, trauma, menopause, and avoidance patterns that quietly erode connection over time. You’ll learn practical steps to rebuild intimacy, overcome sexual avoidance, and start creating a healthy, fulfilling sexual relationship again.And for those facing a partner who’s unwilling to address the issue, we’ll talk about what it means to choose happiness, fulfillment, and self-respect—whether or not the sexual dynamic ever changes.If you’ve ever wondered whether love can last without sex—or how to bring desire back when it’s faded—this conversation is for you.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:58 Can You Be Happy in a Sexless Marriage?01:47 Understanding the Causes of a Sexless Marriage02:27 Addressing Sexual Avoidance and Rebuilding Intimacy05:26 When One Partner is Unwilling to Work on the Relationship06:03 Making the Final Decision07:36 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Dr. Winnifred Cutler to discuss her extensive research on pheromones and their impact on human sexuality. Dr. Cutler, a passionate researcher, shares her journey from psychology graduate student to becoming a leading expert in the field of pheromones. The conversation covers the history of pheromones, the different types, and their effects on human attraction, fertility, and romantic behavior. Dr. Cutler also highlights her development of pheromone products and shares testimonials of their impactful use. Tune in to learn about pheromones' scientific basis and their potential to enhance intimate relationships.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast00:53 Guest Introduction: Dr. Winnifred Cutler01:53 Dr. Cutler's Journey into Pheromone Research03:33 Understanding Pheromones04:54 Types of Pheromones07:17 Sex Attractant Pheromones10:57 Developing Pheromone Products13:32 Testing and Results18:59 Pheromones for Men21:37 Chemical Compounds and Romantic Gestures21:56 Tracking Sexual Behaviors24:04 Testimonials and Effects of Pheromones26:32 Natural Production of Pheromones29:50 Pheromones and Same-Sex Attraction30:58 Global Reach and Customer Insights33:57 Impact of Pheromones in Academic Settings38:48 Athena Institute and Women's Health40:35 Conclusion and Podcast InformationJessa's desire discrepancy resources can be found at https://www.desirediscrepancy.comBio:Dr. Winnifred Cutler, B.S. in Psychology cum laude from Ursinus College in 1973, earned her Ph.D. in Biology from the University of Pennsylvania in 1979 followed by postdoctoral work in behavioral endocrinology at Stanford University. In 1985 she co-founded the Women's Wellness Program at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. She has published over 50 scientific papers, is co-inventor on 5 patents and author of eight books on women's health translated into 7 languages - including the 2020 (3rd) edition of Love Cycles: The Science of Intimacy chronicling both her discovery of Human Pheromones and development of successful formulas as well as her book, Hormones and Your Health: The Smart Woman's Guide to Hormonal and Alternative Therapies for Menopause with essential information for women over age 35 to achieve their 'personal-best' health.Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the crucial role of experiential practice in improving intimate relationships. She underscores the importance of embodying the knowledge gained through communication, challenging myths about sex, and understanding desire. Drawing on her Intimacy With Ease Method, Zimmerman highlights the need for hands-on experiences to truly transform one's sex life. Listeners are provided with valuable resources and are encouraged to actively practice the concepts discussed to achieve meaningful change in their intimate lives.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex01:02 The Importance of Experiential Practice01:21 The Intimacy with Ease Method02:55 Practical Exercises and Analogies03:39 The Giver Receiver Exercise04:39 The Role of Experiential Learning in Sex Therapy05:35 Resources and ConclusionWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman addresses the challenging topic of how to approach your partner about going to sex therapy. Drawing from her experience with clients, Jessa provides valuable insights on framing the conversation in a positive light. She emphasizes the importance of mutual cooperation and understanding, and the need to avoid blame or shame when discussing sexual concerns. Jessa offers practical advice on breaking down barriers and seeking professional help to improve intimacy and strengthen relationships.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:51 Discussing Sex Therapy with Your Partner02:24 Understanding Both Partners' Perspectives03:43 Approaching the Conversation Positively05:04 Conclusion and Additional ResourcesWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman is joined by Rob Kancler to discuss the potential for human sexual experience and the steps needed to enhance intimate relationships. Rob shares insights on how individuals often start with the wrong paradigm about sex and offers practical strategies to think differently about sexual fulfillment, connect with partners, and achieve true intimacy. He delves into the importance of downregulating the nervous system, using body intelligence over cognition, and the integration of ancient sexual traditions. The episode also covers practical exercises like 'belly to belly' and other co-regulation techniques that couples can implement to improve their sex lives. Rob emphasizes that sexual mastery can lead to overall personal development, enhancing one's life and relationships.00:00 Introduction to Better Sex00:50 Exploring Human Sexual Experience with Rob K.01:20 Rob K.'s Journey and Passion03:52 Defining Sexual Fulfillment04:14 Theories on Sexuality and Orgasm06:21 Masculine and Feminine Sexual Needs09:39 The Role of Intuition in Sexuality17:16 Body Intelligence vs. Cognition26:12 Practical Exercises for Intimacy30:37 Understanding Sexual Operating Systems33:01 Unlocking Hidden Potential: Pelvic Work and Sexual Shame33:56 The Need for Cultural Change in Sexual Health35:04 Misconceptions About Sexual Exploration38:18 The Path to Sexual Mastery: Programs and Processes39:48 The Importance of Integrity and Responsibility in Relationships42:02 Exploring Masculine Sexual Expression and Group Learning43:31 Personal Journey and Overcoming Sexual Shame44:13 The Three Levels of Sexual Mastery Programs47:33 Final Thoughts and Contact Information49:18 Practical Exercises for Couples52:18 The Science of Connection and EntrainmentBio:Rob Kancler is an artist, athlete, entrepreneur, and modern mystic. He runs Men of Substance™, a sexual mastery program serving men worldwide. His revolutionary work gives all people access to the profound sexual experiences hidden in the most obscure spiritual traditions—radically expanding a conversation most people take for granted and revealing the blind spots about sex that everyone carries but no one sees. The truth is this quietly keeps men and women from the confidence, vitality, love, meaning, and deeper fulfillment available in every part of life. Check him out at robkancler.com, take the free assessment at bedroomcompass.com, or explore the foundational Men of Substance™ program at robkancler.com/blueprint.www.robkancler.comWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass