EP175: When I feel like I’m failing…
I know… it sounds so dramatic, but it’s easy to feel like we have failed as parents when we feel unappreciated or even attacked or blamed. This week, we faced some unexpected disappointments, and insecurity stepped in and initiated negative narratives that were (very) short of hopefulness. But it was a quick turnaround!
Every setback in any relationship is an opportunity for growth and every contrast we encounter is a chance to come back even stronger. And most of all, more secure.
The next time you feel contrast, in other words, something that is clearly NOT your preference, it’s the perfect time to give yourself a pass, and then find the golden nuggets of wisdom that will make you brighter, stronger, wiser, shinier, and more resilient than ever.
The first thing to remember after experiencing a contrasting disappointment is to remember that you have a choice. You can attach your meaning to the situation. If you can embrace your security in God’s friendship and reassure yourself of the gift your personality is, you can tell yourself a story of redemption and restoration. In every and any situation. This is powerful news!
When we feel judged, we tend to quickly judge that person back. When we react out of a broken heart, we will continue to project judgments on the people around us to feel better about ourselves. This is what keeps us stuck.
We can develop the skill and compassion to carry one another’s feelings of pain, rather than correct them. There’s a season of understanding and validating that is extremely helpful, and is an effective way to show unconditional love.
Research shows that the happiest and most satisfied people are those who see their loved ones in a positive light…many times even more positively than they see themselves! A highly thought of person is a well-loved person.
You can learn to change your mind… and your relationships will change. Instead of a fixed mindset (This will never change!) we encourage you to develop a growth mindset! (I can adjust!). Problems feel huge at the moment, but when your mindset adjusts, your choice is engaged, and the “problem” loses its “hugeness” and power.
Integrity and Intent coupled together create hope and trust. And when that integrity is strong, and foundationally sound, it’s the perfect place to let your imagination dream with new ideas and tap into wondrous possibilities!
Great Ideas to Ponder:
- What do you think about yourself?
- How or what do you think about your spouse/family members?
- What is one of the purposes of your marriage/family relationships?
- What are your current thoughts and feelings toward your most significant relationships?
- Start today, plan that one thing you never thought you could, and do something about it.
When we make bold dreams, and our hearts are willing and surrender to God’s ways and God's thoughts, we milk life for everything it’s got for us! So let’s apply this to our lives in a very practical way. Let’s squeeze the best out of every situation and refuse to waste our pain. And when we aren’t perfect, and life isn’t perfect, we give ourselves a HUGE PASS and say, I shall hunt for the treasure here and learn to love better every day.
Music by Bohdan Kuzmin from Pixabay
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