(BEST OF) Esther Perel: Protecting Your Relationships During Chaos

The stress, fear, and uncertainty of the world right now are seeping into our closest relationships. When collective pain goes unprocessed, it often shows up as distance, resentment, or disconnection with the people we love most — at a time when we need closeness more than ever. In this conversation, Esther Perel helps us understand how stress and trauma drain our relationships of aliveness and desire, why resentment grows when life becomes all duty and efficiency, and how to stay connected and loving in hard times. - Why your relationship isn’t broken — it’s exhausted- How resentment grows when efficiency replaces intimacy- Why desire disappears under responsibility - Why your partner can’t be your whole village- What “behind every criticism is a longing” really means About Esther: Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 30 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work?  Follow We Can Do Hard Things on: Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Today we’re talking about the thing underneath everything: our feelings—and how hard we work to avoid them. Why is it easier to get mad than admit we’re scared? Why can a feeling that lasts 90 seconds keep us stuck for hours (or years)? And why does it so often feel like everyone else is doing life better than we are? We get into anger as a mask, anxiety spirals, the “loser” feeling no one wants to admit, and the relationship dynamics—hello, chooser vs. follower—that shape how we show up with the people we love. This one is about stopping the spin… and coming back to yourself. - Why anger is often covering something deeper - The “90-second feeling” and how to let it pass - How overthinking keeps you stuck in anxiety - Why comparison makes you feel like you’re failing - Relationship patterns that quietly take over Also listen to: The 90 Second Rule: Feel Your Feelings. Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

This conversation will stay with you. When Glennon and her son Chase sit down with his hero, Ocean Vuong, something shifts: mothering reveals itself as more than a role—it’s a force that finds our kids through books, voices, and people who see them when we can’t. A raw, beautiful conversation about raising boys, surviving what shapes us, and the quiet truth every parent carries: we don’t do this alone. - How art and connection can “mother” us - What boys are taught about survival—and how that’s changing - The moment a child feels truly seen - How grief opens us to deeper human connection - Gratitude for the ones who help raise our kids About Ocean:  Ocean Vuong, author of the critically acclaimed poetry collection Night Sky with Exit Wounds, and the New York Times bestselling novel On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is a recipient of the 2019 MacArthur "Genius Grant" and the winner of the Whiting Award and the T. S. Eliot Prize. In Time Is a Mother, Ocean's newest poetry collection available now, he reckons with his mother’s death, embodying the paradox of sitting within grief while being determined to survive beyond it. His writings have been featured in The Atlantic, Harper's Magazine, The Nation, The New Republic, The New Yorker, and The New York Times. Born in Saigon, Vietnam, he currently lives in Northampton, Massachusetts.  Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Why is he building a massive secret bunker?!?! In today’s jaw-dropping deep dive, Amanda follows the money—and the secrets—behind a $400 million White House ballroom, and what is hiding beneath it. What starts as a flashy construction project unravels into a story about power, secrecy, and the dangerous things that happen when no one is watching. With democracy advocate Jon Golinger, Amanda goes past the headlines to ask the real question: What is this really about—and who is paying for it? - Why the “ballroom” might not be about a ballroom at all - The shocking discovery of a massive underground bunker—and why it matters - How anonymous corporate ballroom “donors” may be shaping government decisions - What happens when oversight disappears—and who pays the price - The bigger question: What are we being told and what’s being hidden This one isn’t just about politics. It’s about truth, power, and what we’re willing to question. Also: In this episode, Jon talks about a hotline run by House Democrats for National Parks Employees who may wish to share information about the White House Ballroom Project that concerns them. Here it is: https://democrats-naturalresources.house.gov/contact/tipline About Jon:  Jon Golinger serves as the Democracy Advocate for Public Citizen, one of the country’s leading government accountability watchdog organizations. Jon and Public Citizen sued to expose the secret agreement funding the President's ballroom project through anonymous private funders. Jon has devoted his career to exposing how corporate dollars shape public policy, pushing for campaign finance reform, and holding elected officials and institutions accountable. Prior to joining Public Citizen, Jon was an Assistant District Attorney and Investigator in the Special Prosecutions Unit of the White Collar Crime Division in the San Francisco District Attorney’s Office where he led criminal investigations into public corruption.  Follow We Can Do Hard Things on: Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Today, we’re sharing our conversation with poet Ross Gay, who reminds us that joy isn’t denial—it’s connection. Not a way out of the world, but a way back into it. Together, we explore how to keep noticing what’s still beautiful, how to rebuild our “delight muscle,” and why witnessing someone else’s joy might be exactly what brings us back to ourselves. - Why joy is evidence of connection—not escapism - How to rebuild your “delight muscle” (even when it feels gone) - The surprising power of witnessing someone else’s joy - Why “unknowing” the people you love can deepen connection - Small, daily practices to feel less alone and more alive About Ross:  Ross Gay is an American poet, essayist, and professor committed to healing the world through observing and articulating joy, delight and gratitude. He won the National Book Critics Circle Award for Poetry and the Kingsley Tufts Poetry Award for his 2014 book, Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude, which was also a finalist for the National Book Award for Poetry. A devoted community gardener, Ross is a founding board member of the Bloomington Community Orchard, a non-profit, free-fruit-for-all food justice and joy project. A college football player, he is a founding editor of the online sports magazine Some Call it Ballin'.  Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

We woke up to a Webby — and instead of just celebrating, we started asking: What does it mean to actually use your voice right now? Today, we’re talking about what building Treat Media has really meant — why we chose to go independent, what we’ve gained (and risked), and why having no middleman changes everything about what we can say and how we can say it. And make sure you’ve listened to Tuesday’s episode: Who is Enabling Trump? Amanda & (Our Next Pres?) Rep. Ro Khanna Name the Culprits and the Plan. We dig into Amanda’s conversation with Rep. Ro Khanna — what we agreed with, what left us unsettled, and the bigger truth underneath it all: Why aren’t the people in power doing the jobs they swore to do? This episode is about freedom, accountability, and what happens when you stop playing along. - Why going independent, and creating Treat Media, changed everything for us - What winning a Webby means — and what it doesn’t - Why “good people” isn’t the same as good leadership Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Amanda is joined by Congressman Ro Khanna for a no-spin, call-it-like-it-is conversation about the dumpster fire of Trump and Congress.   We already know who Trump is. The more urgent question is—why is Congress too cowardly to do its job to stop him? Amanda and Rep. Khanna dig into: – How both parties are failing us;  – The big, dark money that is shaping their cowardice;  – Which Democratic leaders need to go;  – The midterm election interference we know is coming (and the plan to combat it);  – What gives Rep. Khanna hope about a new generation of leadership; and – Some exciting speculation about the 2028 Presidential campaign.  This conversation is about moving past outrage and into action. What we demand. What we expect. And what must change. About Ro Khanna: A leader of action, courage and candor, Rep. Ro Khanna represents California’s 17th District and represents what is possible when an elected has a backbone and cares more about their duty than their next election. If you’ve been following my series here, and you listened to my show on the Billionaire class as the real American welfare queens, you will want to know about Rep. Khanna’s Make Billionaire’s Pay Their Fair Share Act with Senator Sanders. If you listened to my series walking through decades of depraved federal corruption protecting Epstein, you will know that it was Rep. Khanna’s dogged, intrepid resolve when everyone told him it was impossible, to pass his Epstein Transparency Act, together with Rep. Massie, which forced the administration to release files. If you listened to my episode on Jared Kushner and the real reasons we’re in an inane and inept war with Iran, you will want to know that Rep. Khanna sponsored a Bipartisan War Powers Resolution with Rep. Massie in an attempt to restrict unauthorized military action. He has taken on big oil for their lies about climate change and was crucial in bringing a coalition together to secure a $369 Billion climate investment. He is an advocate for oversight, anticorruption, transparency, and freeing elections from the scourge of big money influence. He puts his money where his mouth is: He cofounded the NO PAC Caucus and is one of only SEVEN out of 435 members of Congress who rejects all money from special interest PACs. And he brings the fight not only to actively complicit Republicans, but to Democrats who scream on social media but sit on their hands instead of doing what needs to be done. Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Today we’re sharing our electric conversation with Jane Fonda. This one feels especially right for this moment—because so many of us are asking the same questions Jane has been answering with her life: How do we keep aging without disappearing? How do we stay awake—to our bodies, to each other, to the truth—when everything feels so chaotic and overwhelming? Jane reminds us that getting older doesn’t mean getting quieter—it can mean getting whole. Not perfection, but integration. Not waiting until you have it all figured out—but showing up as you are and doing your part. - How she left her body as a child—and found her way back decades later - Why the goal isn’t perfection—it’s becoming whole - What she’s learned about love, power, and choosing herself - How she kept showing up through backlash, surveillance, and public attacks - Why you don’t have to be ready—you just have to begin About Jane:  Jane Fonda is a two-time Academy Award-winning actor (Best Actress in 1971 for Klute and in 1978 for Coming Home), producer, author, activist, and fitness guru. Her career has spanned over 50 years, accumulating a body of film work that includes over 45 films and crucial work on behalf of political causes such as women’s rights, Native Americans, and the environment. She is a seven-time Golden Globe winner and was honored with the Cecil B. DeMille Award in 2021, Stanley Kubrick Excellence in Film Award as part of BAFTA’s Britannia Awards in 2019, AFI Life Achievement Award winner in 2014, and Honorary Palme d’Or honoree in 2007.  Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

The world is on fire—but we still have each other. This week, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda step away from the overwhelm to talk about what actually holds us: love, family, friendship, and truth. From their Oscars experience to a listener's question about divorce, kids, and staying in love, this episode is about staying soft while doing hard things. - Why losing the Oscar still felt like winning - What kids really need when they sense change at home - The difference between leaving a relationship and giving up on love - How to tell the truth (even when it’s hard) - Why it’s time to get off the shore and into the boat Follow We Can Do Hard Things on:  Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠

Pod Squad, we’ve been doing a lot of hard things—so today, in the midst of all of it, we’re offering a little comic relief to keep us laughing, keep us dancing, keep us going. In this episode, we’re sharing our most mortifying, cringe-inducing, please-let-me-disappear moments… along with your voicemail confessions that had us cry-laughing and peeing our pants in solidarity. We promise you: you need this. We needed this. - Glennon, Abby, and Amanda share their most humiliating, unforgettable stories - Pod Squad voicemail confessions that will make you laugh until you cry - Why normalizing our worst moments is the antidote to shame - Our new go-to strategy for surviving humiliation (spoiler alert, it involves a prosthetic penis) Follow We Can Do Hard Things on: Instagram — ⁠https://www.instagram.com/wecandohardthings⁠