How People-Pleasing Can Affect Your Sex Life - with Katie | Ep. 212

After decades of marriage, motherhood, and putting everyone else’s needs first, Katie found herself struggling with desire and feeling increasingly disconnected from her husband. She had learned to people-please, avoid conflict, and say yes even when she didn’t really want to—until intimacy began to feel more like an obligation than connection.Katie shares how Doing It Together helped her understand the impact of shame, resentment, social conditioning, and self-silencing on her intimate life. She talks about learning to speak up about what she wants, practice self-compassion, and create a marriage where both partners’ needs matter.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

After his wife’s cancer treatment and early menopause changed their intimate relationship, James felt lonely, rejected, and increasingly hopeless. They loved each other deeply and had a great marriage in so many ways—but mismatched desire and physical intimacy remained the one problem they couldn’t seem to solve.In this episode, James shares what changed through Doing It Together, including what he learned about pressure, social conditioning, and his own need to feel connected through physical intimacy. Most importantly, he discovered that moving forward wasn’t about fixing his wife—it was about understanding himself, taking responsibility for how he showed up, and creating space for connection without expectation.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

What really happens when couples commit to eight weeks of Doing It Together?At the end of every round, Janna brings the couples together for a farewell call and asks one simple but powerful question: What surprised you most about your journey?In this episode, you’ll hear directly from couples who just completed the program. They share what they discovered about themselves, their partners, and their relationships—including the things they didn’t expect to uncover along the way. Their honest stories offer a glimpse into what can happen when couples get curious, challenge old patterns, and learn new ways of connecting.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

On today’s podcast episode I’m offering the audio version of my popular free class, "The Truth About Women’s Libido: Why Everything You’ve Tried Hasn’t Worked and What To Do Instead." Listen to understand the steps required to co-create a sex life that both partners can look forward to.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Talking about sex can be hard—especially when you’re worried that saying what you really want will hurt your partner’s feelings or start an argument. In this episode, Janna talks with Carrie and Ryan about the communication patterns that kept them stuck for years and what finally helped Carrie find her voice and Ryan learn to listen without reacting.After 32 years together, they’re learning how to talk openly about sex, needs, and intimacy in their marriage. They share what it takes to speak honestly, listen with curiosity, and create a safer, more connected relationship where both partners can be heard.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Motherhood, changing family dynamics, and midlife transitions can change much more than your daily routine—they can change your identity, your marriage, and your sexual desire. In this conversation, Janna and Mindy talk about the enormous transition into motherhood, what happens when your kids need you less, and why becoming an “empty nester” doesn’t automatically mean you’re ready for more sex.They also explore how to figure out what you actually want after years of taking care of everyone else, and why your intimate life doesn’t have to stay the same forever. Instead of forcing yourself to want the sex you think you’re supposed to want, you can learn how to create a sex life that changes and grows with you.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

When Ben asked his wife of 31 years how often she actually wanted to have sex, her answer — “almost never” — completely shocked him.In this conversation, Ben shares what he couldn’t see before Doing It Together, what happened when he chose curiosity over defensiveness, and how he’s learning to create a more mutually enjoyable intimate life with his wife. It’s an honest conversation about good intentions, unexpected blind spots, and what can happen when both partners are willing to keep learning.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

In this episode, Sara shares the powerful journey of realizing that much of what she believed she was supposed to want sexually wasn’t actually what she wanted. She opens up about feeling inadequate, questioning what was wrong with her, and the relief that came from learning to recognize a “no” in her own body.Sara and Janna also explore what changed in her relationship when they took intercourse off the table, including the surprising ways their connection shifted outside the bedroom. At the heart of her story is a simple but profound realization: “It feels so much lighter in here. Like the relationship is so much lighter.”Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

Katie spent years believing her sex life was good enough, until she began questioning how much she was actually enjoying it and how much she was simply tolerating. In this conversation, she shares how marriage, children, menopause, and cultural messages gradually disconnected her from her own desires.Katie and Janna explore why so many couples follow a formula for sex instead of discovering what genuinely feels good to both people. Katie shares how learning that she was allowed to have preferences changed the way she communicates with her husband and transformed her approach to intimacy.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.

What if your anger isn't the problem—but a sign that something finally makes sense? In this episode, Janna sits down with Renee to explore the surprising emotion that surfaced as she began unlearning decades of harmful messages about women, sex, and marriage. What she once believed was a personal failure turned out to be something much bigger, and that realization changed everything.Together, they discuss why anger can be a healthy response to injustice, the cultural lies that keep both women and men disconnected from authentic intimacy, and the unexpected insights that transformed Renee's marriage. From a comment made by a teenage boyfriend to a surprising perspective on menopause, this conversation is full of hope for anyone ready to see their story through a new lens.Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.Ready to learn on your own? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.Ready to learn as a couple? Learn about Janna's coaching program for couples, Doing It Together.