479. Coaching Hotline: How to Say No When You Fear Being Rude & When You Can't Change Your Thoughts Yet

Have you built your entire life around waiting for motivation to text you back? In this episode, I explain why motivation is a fuckboy and why relying on it is the reason you start and stop, stall out, or never follow through on the things that matter most to you. Motivation feels amazing when it shows up, but it disappears the moment things get hard or uncomfortable, and when you treat it like a prerequisite, you give something unreliable total control over your progress. If you’ve been waiting to feel ready, excited, or inspired before you take action, this episode will help you understand why that strategy isn’t working. You’ll learn how to stop organizing your life around motivation and start following through from a place that is far more reliable, so you can actually create results whether motivation shows up or not. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/480 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil

Do you worry that saying no makes you rude, selfish, or a bad person? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why what you’ve been taught to call “politeness” is often just people pleasing in disguise, and how that conditioning keeps you stuck in self doubt. Then I answer a question I hear all the time in different forms, what do you do when you understand thought work but you still can’t change your thoughts? I explain why you are not missing a tool, why nothing has gone wrong, and why this frustrating in between stage is actually a normal and necessary part of the process. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/479Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

My new book "Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out" is officially available as an audiobook and hardcover wherever books and audiobooks are sold!Click here to order yours: unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Have you ever felt stuck in your career or questioned whether you're on the right path? In this episode, I’m joined by my mastermind student Lisa who made the bold decision to transition from being a global CEO to pursuing her passion for running a dahlia farm. Her journey is a testament to the power of reinvention, and we dive into how she navigated that shift. Lisa shares how she was able to tackle the fears and self-doubt that came with stepping away from the corporate world and how she’s now embracing a different version of success. We talk about the importance of setting big goals, overcoming fear, and the emotional challenges of letting go of a well-established career to follow your passion. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/478To learn more about applying for Mission Impossible Mastermind, send an email to [email protected] Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilFollow Lisa on Instagram: instagram.com/kayabloomstudio

Do you ever feel completely exhausted but can’t quite figure out if it’s because your body is physically tired or if it’s the thoughts in your head making everything worse? In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into the complex relationship between physical fatigue and mental thoughts, and how you can shift your thinking no matter how tired you are.Then, I dive into a question that comes up often in coaching: Should you focus on the immediate thoughts that are triggering your feelings or dig into the deeper, root cause of your beliefs? Tune in to hear my answer. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/477Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever been caring for someone you love and suddenly felt resentful, exhausted, or completely overwhelmed? And then immediately thought, “What kind of person feels this way?” In this episode, I talk about the emotional reality of caregiving, especially for those of us in the Sandwich Generation who are supporting aging parents while also raising kids, managing careers, and trying to hold our own lives together. You'll hear why caregiving guilt is so common and how socialization trains women to believe they should give endlessly without limits. I explore why the real problem isn’t the anger or resentment that can show up in caregiving, but the shame we pile on top of those emotions, and how shifting from either or thinking to both and can help you care for others without abandoning yourself in the process. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/476 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Does receiving feedback make you feel instantly defensive, embarrassed, or like you’ve done something terribly wrong?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about how to handle criticism at work and how to know when you’ve coached yourself “correctly.” You’ll learn how to manage your mind around feedback, understand why feeling defensive is optional, and recognize that sometimes the answers you already have are the ones you need to keep practicing.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/475Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What if one of the most important financial decisions you ever make isn’t about investing, saving, or budgeting... but about who you choose as your partner?In this episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, also known as Your Rich BFF, 2x New York Times bestselling author, and host of the podcast Networth and Chill. We discuss why money is not just about survival but about power, choice, and freedom. Vivian explains why women are often socialized to over compromise financially in relationships, how to adjust your mindset about money as a shared partnership decision, and why financial literacy is essential for protecting your future.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/474Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Learn more about Vivian Tu and her work here: yourrichbff.com and on Instagram instagram.com/your.richbff

Does your brain love to tell you you're ugly, incapable, or untalented? What if it's right? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about those persistent negative thoughts that tell us we’re not good enough. You’ll discover why it doesn't actually matter if they are objectively true or not, and why intentionally deciding how you think about yourself does.I also answer a question about the concept of vibrations and energy, where a listener is struggling to understand how thought work connects with things like chemistry, energy healing, and even Reiki. Tune in to learn how to approach these concepts with clarity, and why your beliefs about them are just as powerful as any physical sensation.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/473Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Join me at the Ritz Paris on Saturday, March 28, from 3:30–5:30 p.m.While you enjoy a classic high tea, I will be joined by Master Coach Jenny Chammas, a top French women's leadership coach, to talk about how to tap into your confidence to achieve big goals in your life.After our conversation there will be plenty of time for Q&A, and at the end you'll also get to meet Cecilie Søndergaard Nielsen, an executive leadership coach for senior leaders and teams in high-pressure, high-growth environments.If you want to join, click here to grab your ticket: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/tea