268 The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking

The Push-Pull of ADHD and Autism: Stretching Without Breaking In this candid conversation, Patricia Young (she/her) and B Lourenco (she/her) dive deep into the realities of living with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. They explore the push-pull between self-accommodation and stretching ourselves, how shame and internalized ableism impact daily life, and what it means to create realistic support systems at home, in relationships, and in the workplace. Expect raw honesty, relatable stories, and practical insights for navigating neurodivergent life. WHAT YOU’LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE · The ongoing “driver’s seat battle” between ADHD and autism. · The push-pull between making accommodations and stretching ourselves beyond comfort. · Parenting a neurodivergent young adult while balancing when to push and when to allow rest. · Task initiation struggles — from making banana bread to cooking meals. · Body doubling as a powerful tool to reduce shame and spark motivation. · The “crisper/rotter” effect — guilt over wasted food and executive dysfunction. · Financial and practical impacts of task initiation challenges. · How privilege plays into having options like prepared or frozen meals when cooking feels impossible. · The cost of pushing through fatigue and flares with conditions like POTS and MCAS. · “Future me” thinking — and the difficulties neurodivergent folks have with impermanence. · Shame as the “ice cream scoop” on top of disability struggles. · Why diagnosis matters: language helps reduce shame and prevent repeating harmful patterns. · How powerlessness, and an attempt to gain autonomy can show up in small, reactive choices (like leaving a Facebook group). · Sensory sensitivities in family systems — how lack of accommodations can lead to dysfunction. · Practical accommodations for noise-sensitive parents and their kids. · Workplace challenges: 40-hour weeks, return-to-office pressures, and capitalism’s rigidity. · Creative problem-solving in disabled and neurodivergent communities. · The deep fear of being uncared for and alone if we can’t keep up. · Hyper-independence and isolation in the ADHD/autistic community. · Internalized ableism and the “shoulds” that drive shame and burnout. · Neurodivergence as a dynamic disability — what’s possible one day isn’t always possible the next. · Radical acceptance as a path toward reducing judgment and finding relief. SOUND BITES · “It begs the question of, okay, is that okay? Can we just say that’s how it is?” – B Lourenco · “Instead of putting our energy into addressing the gap, folks will take the great divide and then put a scoop of shame on top of it.” – B Lourenco · “All the terrible things that we tell ourselves… if I didn’t have that awareness, I’d just keep repeating these patterns.” – Patricia Young · “In order to truly accommodate ourselves, we have to acknowledge that it’s as hard as it is and that we’re as disabled as we are.” – B Lourenco · “Sometimes I have to ask myself, what if what you’re going through is exactly where you need to be?” – Patricia Young SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT’S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren’t built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are. TOPICS COVERED (please adjust for addition of introduction) 00:00 Navigating Neurodivergence: A Personal Journey 02:59 Understanding Accommodations: Balancing Needs and Expectations 05:48 The Push-Pull of Task Initiation and Self-Care 08:33 Shame and Support: The Role of Community 11:35 The Impact of Environment on Neurodivergent Individuals 14:26 Workplace Challenges: The Struggle for Accommodations 17:16 Building Bridges: Community and Creative Solutions 20:00 Radical Acceptance: Embracing Our Reality 22:48 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Identity 25:42 The Dynamic Nature of Neurodivergence 29:02 Finding Joy in the Present Moment 31:47 The Bigger Picture: Building a Better Future 34:47 Conclusion: Resources and Future Endeavors PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it’s like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren’t alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia’s website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com PODCAST GUEST B Lourenco, MA, LMHC (she/her) is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, advocate, and activist. B has been working in community support for nearly 20 years and is committed to social change on all system levels. Seeing mental health advocacy as a way to serve the community, she earned a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology, with a Systems Emphasis, in 2015 and began her private practice, B Lourenco Therapy in 2017.    B has also worked in the public school system, providing support to students with behavioral issues that made attending school challenging for them. Highly trained in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), B became a district-wide expert in supporting neurodivergent students. It was during this work that she began to be critical of the medical models of support for neurodivergence, including ABA. Making the shift from the medical to the Neurodiversity-affirming model has allowed her to finally identify her own neurodivergence, including Autism and ADHD.    Combining her lived experience of neurodivergence, along with years of anti-oppression work, B is passionate about helping others untangle themselves from harmful practices and align themselves with those that instead support marginalized communities. In addition to CE events for healthcare providers, she has also been a speaker on panels and podcasts, and also facilitates community based workshops. https://www.blourencotherapy.com   LINKS  Cascadia Training: https://cascadia-training.com  Imani Barbarin—crutches_and_spice IG https://www.instagram.com/crutches_and_spice/  To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select “listen on Apple Podcasts” chose “open in itunes” choose “ratings and reviews” click to rate the number of starts click “write a review” Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Rupture without Repair, and the Discomfort of Being Misunderstood   In this deeply personal episode, Patricia (she/her) unpacks the fallout from a neighborhood rupture and the painful loss of community connection. Through the lens of being autistic and AuDHD, she explores rejection sensitivity, communication breakdowns, friendship trauma, and why repair isn't always possible. She also shares how co-regulation, body doubling, Costco runs, and fierce family love provide grounding. This conversation is raw, tender, and validating for anyone who has struggled with being misunderstood as a neurodivergent person. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE ·       The neighborhood rupture and how a joke led to exclusion from a community group ·       What happens when rupture and repair aren't possible in friendships ·       The autistic need for clarity, communication, and closure ·       Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and how silence feels like rejection ·       The PDA (persistent drive for autonomy) response to being left out ·       The pain of friendship trauma and feeling misunderstood ·       How autistic people process and loop on unresolved conflict ·       The role of community in belonging and nervous system regulation ·       Why body doubling and co-regulation help autistic/ADHD brains stay grounded ·       Finding comfort in Costco runs, small joys, and simple routines ·       Permission to need rest, wear earplugs, or retreat from sensory overwhelm ·       Generational differences in friendship and communication between neurodivergent people ·       Practicing adaptability through change (like moving workspaces at home) ·       The bittersweet truth: not all friendships are meant to last ·       Gratitude reframed through an autistic lens—how to find appreciation without bypassing pain SOUND BITES "For us, it felt like there was no space for human mistakes, no place for rupture and repair." "This activated friendship trauma in me, and I've noticed my protective armor is up." "Intellectually, I know this is fine. Emotionally, feeling misunderstood and powerless is really hard." "You have a right to speak up." "Not all friendships last forever." "Life is messy. Friendships are messy." "Body doubling is such a beautiful way to borrow someone else's nervous system to regulate." "Sensitivity is nothing to apologize for. It's how you're wired. You have the right to take up space." SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.   TOPICS COVERED (please adjust for addition of introduction) 00:00 Navigating Community Dynamics 08:42 The Impact of Silence and Rejection 17:06 Rupture, Repair, and the Complexity of Relationships 23:52 Finding Joy in Everyday Moments 29:13 Gratitude and Perspective on Life PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com LINKS    To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

When ADHD Wants Adventure and Autism Just Wants a Nap Patricia (she/her) explores what it means to show up authentically as a neurodivergent person—especially when navigating the tension between wanting novelty (hello ADHD/AuDHD brains!) and craving sameness (thank you autism). She shares candid stories about celebrating her anniversary, managing low energy, social interactions, and dealing with conflict. Patricia also opens up about balancing autistic traits, ADHD novelty-seeking, PDA (persistent drive for autonomy), and honoring her sensitivity. If you're autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or otherwise neurodivergent, this episode offers relatable honesty, self-compassion, and a reminder that sensitivity is nothing to apologize for. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE ·      Why showing up authentically—even when low energy or struggling—creates safety and deeper connection. ·      The push-pull between ADHD's love of novelty and autism's need for sameness. ·      A vulnerable look at performance pressure, PDA (persistent drive for autonomy), and the tension of "supposed to" versus authentic presence. ·      Reflections on navigating conflict, rejection, and the looping thoughts that come with OCD and sensitivity. ·      Stories of how small moments of authenticity (complimenting a server, connecting with strangers, sharing vulnerability) can bring ease and humor. ·      The joys of volunteering with puppies, finding novelty in animals, and noticing the small things that bring comfort. ·      Honest sharing about energy struggles, self-judgment, and learning to honor your body's signals. KEY TAKEAWAYS ·       You don't have to perform or mask to be worthy of connection. ·       Novelty and sameness can co-exist—it's about experimenting and noticing what feels supportive. ·       Authenticity often comes in small, ordinary moments that bring relief and connection. ·       Conflict and rejection are painful, but self-trust and curiosity can soften the edges. ·       Sensitivity is not something to apologize for—it's a way of being in the world. SOUND BITES "Show up as you are." "I felt very inadequate." "I really resist it." SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are. TOPICS COVERED (please adjust for addition of introduction) 00:00 Embracing Authenticity 09:12 Navigating Social Expectations 17:54 Finding Balance in Emotions PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com LINKS   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

When the Dogs Stop Saying Hi: The Human Need for Connection and Belonging Patricia (she/her) explores the complexities of community, being perceived, and the challenges of navigating relationships amidst misunderstandings and cancel culture. She shares personal experiences of rupture and repair within her community, reflecting on the emotional impact of feeling excluded and the importance of acknowledging one's behavior in relationships. Patricia also highlights the simultaneous beauty of connections and celebrations, even amidst challenges, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and understanding in the face of adversity. KEY TAKEAWAYS ·       The emotional toll of being perceived in a way that doesn't match how we see ourselves ·       Owning mistakes and navigating the possibility of repair (even when others might not be open) ·       The pain of being excluded from community events and how rejection sensitivity & OCD can flare ·       Mixed emotions around her birthday — feeling both unseen by some and deeply loved by others ·       The balance between taking accountability and resisting self-abandonment ·       Practices of self-compassion when reassurance doesn't come from others ·       What happens when justice, fragility, and nuance collide in relationships ·       Her growing love of animals, volunteering with horses, and a longing to return to simple joys ·       A behind-the-scenes peek into the Unapologetically AuDHD podcast launch ·       The challenges of time agnosia in friendships and how ND folks can navigate it compassionately ·       Updates on kayaking, paddleboarding, and listening to her nervous system ·       A gentle invitation to ask yourself: Would I want to be in community with people who won't repair? HIGHLIGHTS   ·       The challenge of being perceived differently than how we see ourselves. ·       Rupture and repair are essential components of relationships. ·       Community can provide both support and feelings of exclusion. ·       Setting boundaries is a right everyone has. ·       Cancel culture can complicate personal relationships. ·       Acknowledging one's behavior is crucial for repair. ·       It's important to celebrate connections amidst challenges. ·       Sensitivity is a unique trait that should be embraced. ·       Self-acceptance is key to navigating emotional turmoil. ·       Finding joy in small moments can help during difficult times.      SOUND BITES "Rupture and repair is part of being human. And sometimes repair doesn't happen — but that doesn't mean we stop showing up with integrity." "My OCD wants reassurance. And sometimes, I just have to sit with that and give it to myself." "We all have a primal need for belonging. And when that's taken away, it's a wound that goes deep." "I want to spend time with animals." "It's okay to not be social." "It's okay to feel connected." SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.  TOPICS COVERED (please adjust for addition of introduction)  00:00 Navigating Community and Perception 11:44 Rupture and Repair in Relationships 19:20 Celebrating Connections Amidst Challenges 25:44 Embracing Sensitivity and Self-Acceptance PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: www.unapologeticallysensitive.com LINKS   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Unapologetically AuDHD Podcast-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/ e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Disempowered to Empowered: Meltdowns, Boundaries & Donuts   In this heartfelt episode, Patricia (she/her) shares three powerful personal stories that highlight the challenges—and wins—that come with being a sensitive, creative, neurodivergent human. From navigating family dynamics around living arrangements, to reclaiming power after a disempowering volunteer experience, and even exploring the emotional depth behind a simple craving for an apple fritter, Patricia offers an intimate and validating glimpse into what it's like to be an AuDHDer who feels things deeply—and still chooses to show up.   KEY TAKEAWAYS ·      You don't need to justify your needs. "They don't have to understand why I need two months. I just do." ·      High masking + high empathy often = emotional invisibility. You're not alone if you feel overlooked or undervalued. ·      Internalizers often seem fine while falling apart inside—naming your pain out loud is a radical act of self-love. ·      Disempowerment doesn't mean you're weak. It often comes from past trauma, sensory overload, or lack of support. ·      Communication isn't always immediate. It's okay if clarity or assertiveness comes a day (or three) later. ·      There's no such thing as "too sensitive"—just systems that weren't built for your needs.   HIGHLIGHTS   ·       Patricia emphasizes the importance of asserting one's needs without feeling apologetic. ·       She shares her experience of feeling disempowered in family dynamics and how she navigated that. ·       The conversation highlights the challenges of communication in relationships, especially for neurodivergent individuals. ·       Patricia discusses the significance of volunteering and how it contributes to her sense of empowerment. ·       She reflects on the internal struggles (and unrealistic desire) of wanting others to understand her needs without explicit communication. ·       The importance of processing emotions and taking time to understand one's feelings is emphasized. ·       Patricia shares her journey of finding strength in her volunteering experience with horses. ·       She discusses the impact of trauma on her ability to communicate effectively. ·       The conversation touches on the theme of sensitivity being a unique aspect of one's identity, not something to apologize for. ·       Patricia encourages listeners to embrace their sensitivity and understand its value.   SOUND BITES "I need to have a meltdown." "It's my responsibility." "I felt seen and I felt heard." "I think we've learned to just detach from our feelings, to dissociate, and go along to get along—but it just doesn't work for us anymore." SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.   TOPICS COVERED  ·       Autistic meltdowns & internal regulation: How Patricia recognized an impending meltdown and advocated for space and support. ·       Family boundaries & accommodation: The emotional toll of giving up a beloved workspace, and the grief that often goes unseen. ·       Losing & reclaiming joy: When creative hobbies fade and space feels scarce, how do you reconnect with yourself? ·       Assertiveness without apology: Speaking up about needs, even when it's hard, awkward, or overdue. ·       Feeling invisible in groups: Disempowerment during horse volunteer training and the journey to feeling confident and capable again. ·       Processing delays & trauma: Why it sometimes takes days to realize something didn't feel okay—and that's valid. ·       The donut story (yes, it matters): What a pastry can teach us about needs, unmet expectations, and healthy communication. ·       Relational repair & emotional safety: The delicate dance of vulnerability, misunderstanding, and being met with care. ·       The problem with people-pleasing: When masking and fawning keep you from honoring your own feelings. ·       What sensitivity really means: Reframing neurodivergent traits as strengths, not flaws. PODCAST HOST Patricia (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you Patricia's website, podcast episodes and more: twww.unapologeticallysensitive.com   LINKS  To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review"Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv Podcast UnapologeticallyAuDHD-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/unapologeticallyaudhd/  e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Friendship, Boundaries, and Other Olympic Sports for Autistic Brains   Patricia gets real about friendship challenges, navigating communication mismatches, and how OCD and autistic wiring can shape our relationship expectations. She shares a behind-the-scenes peek into her new podcast project, the insecurities that surfaced while collaborating with her co-host, and how unexpected moments of validation reminded her that what she brings to the table is more than enough.   HIGHLIGHTS    ·      Patricia plans to release the podcast bi-monthly to avoid burnout. ·      Insecurities can arise when starting new projects, but validation helps. ·      Everyone has unique strengths, even when they feel insecure about them. ·      Communication in friendships can be challenging, especially for neurodivergent individuals. ·      It's important to recognize that others' actions are not always about us. ·      Self-reflection is can be helpful in understanding relationships. ·      Sharing experiences can have a profound impact on listeners. ·      Validation from others can remind one of the importance of one's work. ·      It's okay to change and evolve over time, both personally and professionally. ·      Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining comfort and well-being.    SOUND BITES ·      "It's not about me." ·      "It's okay for things to change." ·      "What I have to share is enough." ·      "You're not for everybody and everyone's not for you." ·      "Reliability, plans, and clear communication are high values of mine and they calm my nervous system." ·      "We can't know what we don't know."    SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.   CHAPTERS (please add time for addition of introduction) 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Changes 01:30 Navigating Insecurities and Trusting Strengths 05:30 Friendship Dynamics and Communication 09:14 Self-Reflection and Personal Growth 14:23 Validation and Impact of Sharing Experiences 21:17 Recognizing and Embracing Strengths PODCAST HOST Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcasts Unapologetically Sensitive and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people. LINKS   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review"   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Breaking Down Internalized Ableism  Summary In this conversation, Patricia explores the concept of internalized ableism, particularly among neurodivergent individuals. She discusses how societal stigma and expectations can lead to negative self-perceptions and feelings of inadequacy. Patricia shares personal experiences and insights on how internalized ableism manifests in various aspects of life, including relationships, self-acceptance, and the pressure to conform to neurotypical standards. She emphasizes the importance of unlearning these hurtful beliefs and embracing one's neurodivergent identity with compassion and understanding.   HIGHLIGHTS   ·       Internalized ableism is the unconscious adoption of negative beliefs about oneself due to societal stigma. ·       Neurodivergent individuals often feel pressure to conform to neurotypical standards, which can lead to trauma. ·       Resting is a valid need and should not be seen as a failure. ·       Asking for accommodations is essential for well-being and should not induce guilt. ·       The concept of 'high functioning' can be harmful and does not reflect true capabilities. ·       Time agnosia is a common experience for neurodivergent individuals. ·       Self-compassion is crucial in overcoming internalized ableism. ·       Relationships can be affected by the fear of being a burden. ·       Unlearning internalized ableism involves recognizing and challenging societal expectations. ·       Embracing neurodivergence includes acknowledging strengths and practicing self-acceptance. 115 SPECIFIC POINTS DISCUSSED 1.     How internalized ableism shows up in everyday life o   Masking, pushing through burnout, or feeling "lazy" when you're resting. 2.     Messages we absorbed growing up o   From school, parents, peers, or media about being "too much," "distracted," "weird," or "wrong." 3.     Perfectionism and people-pleasing as survival o   How needing to be "better" or "easy to manage" is often rooted in internalized shame. 4.     The trap of "not disabled enough" or "faking it" o   How we invalidate our own struggles because we don't "look" stereotypically disabled. 5.     ADHD, autism, OCD & "high-functioning" narratives o   The myth of being "high functioning" and how it reinforces ableist expectations. 6.     Feeling guilt for needing accommodations or rest o   That voice that says "you're being difficult" when you ask for what you actually need. 7.     Shame around executive dysfunction o   Struggling to start tasks, follow through, or manage time — and blaming yourself. 8.     Rejecting your own needs to fit in o   Forcing eye contact, avoiding stimming, hiding rituals, not using noise-canceling headphones in public, etc. 9.     The pressure to be "independent" all the time o   How internalized capitalism + ableism equates needing support with being a failure. 10.  Comparing yourself to neurotypical peers ·       Especially in productivity, relationships, or emotional regulation. 11.  "If I can do it sometimes, I should always be able to" myth ·       Inconsistent ability = inconsistent worth? Nope. Talk about spoon theory and fluctuating capacity. 12.  How OCD-specific traits are misunderstood or mocked ·       And how that seeps into how you see yourself (e.g., feeling "crazy," "irrational," or "a burden"). 13.  Internalized ableism in dating & relationships ·       Fear of being too much, too emotional, or too rigid — and minimizing yourself as a result. 14.  How healing looks like reclaiming your needs unapologetically ·       Self-accommodation, boundaries, rest, and neurodivergent joy as rebellion. 15.  Relearning self-compassion and identity pride ·       Ending with hope: unmasking, connecting with community, and defining success on your own terms.    SOUND BITES ·       "Rest is resistance." ·       "You are not broken." ·       "You deserve rest, joy, and support."    SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.    CHAPTERS (please add time for addition of introduction) 00:00 Understanding Internalized Ableism 02:40 The Impact of Societal Expectations 05:31 Navigating Personal Experiences with Internalized Ableism 08:18 The Struggle for Accommodations 10:55 Executive Dysfunction and Inconsistent Abilities 14:01 The Pressure of Productivity 16:53 Feeling 'Not Enough' in Neurodivergence 19:43 Unlearning Internalized Ableism 22:27 Building Self-Compassion and Acceptance  PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS Rest Is Resistance: Free yourself from grind culture and reclaim your life by Tricia Hersey. Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/ Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6  To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review"   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Some Challenges in Neurodivergent Communication Summary In this episode, Patricia discusses the challenges faced by AuDHDers and other neurodivergent individuals in communication, particularly regarding lack of responding to messages. She explores the concept of internalized ableism and how it affects self-perception and interactions. Patricia shares personal experiences and insights on the importance of flexibility in relationships and the need for authenticity in communication. The conversation emphasizes the struggles of neurodivergent individuals, including executive functioning challenges, and the significance of self-acceptance and understanding in navigating social situations.   HIGHLIGHTS It's not uncommon for neurodivergent individuals to struggle with responding to messages. ·       Internalized ableism can affect how we perceive our struggles. ·       Flexibility in relationships is helpful for understanding each other's challenges. ·       People often have their own timeframes for communication. ·       It's important to give ourselves permission to not always follow plans. ·       Authenticity in communication can foster better relationships. ·       Neurodivergent individuals often attract other neurodivergent friends and partners with similar experiences. ·       Comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy among neurodivergent individuals. ·       Being open about our struggles can help others feel validated. ·       Sensitivity is a natural part of being neurodivergent and should be embraced.  SOUND BITES "I have so much room for that." "We have a hard time taking breaks." "It's hard for me to not compare." SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED ·      You have a right to be joyful, forgetful, ableist, non-ableist, stimmy, non-stimmy.  ·      You're not for everyone. Everyone's not for you.   ·      It's okay to push through.  ·      It's okay to rest.      It's okay to compare.  ·      It's okay to trust that how you show up in the world is fine and all you have to do is be you and who is meant to be in your life will be there and the people that aren't, will drop away.   CHAPTERS 00:00 Navigating Communication Challenges 06:35 Understanding Internalized Ableism 11:39 The Struggles of Neurodivergence 17:24 The Importance of Authenticity in Relationships PODCAST HOST Patricia Young, she/her was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and Unapologetically AuDHD to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/ Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6 Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4 To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review" Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Coping and Prepatory Strategies for Overstimulating Situations   Summary   In this episode, Patricia discusses her experiences with content creation, coping strategies for overstimulation, and managing sensory sensitivities during significant life events like weddings. She shares insights on emotional preparation, adjusting to changes in family dynamics, and maintaining a healthy work-life balance to prevent burnout. Throughout the conversation, she emphasizes the importance of self-care, embracing imperfection, and recognizing the rights of individuals to rest and be themselves.    HIGHLIGHTS  ·       I struggle with overstimulation at events. ·       Earplugs help me manage sensory sensitivities. ·       Having a plan can reduce anxiety before events. ·       It's okay to slow down and take breaks. ·       I feel a little jealous of my husband's attention to our kids. ·       Managing workload is about finding balance. ·       I have a right to rest and take care of myself. ·       Sensitivity is nothing to apologize for. ·       Embracing imperfection is key to self-acceptance.   SOUND BITES "Done is better than perfect." "It's okay to slow down." "I have a right to rest."   SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED ·      You have a right to rest. ·      you have a right to push through. ·      you have a right to be nervous and anxious and to overthink. ·      You have a right to use tools that help you. ·      You have a right to be stimmy and happy and loud and bouncy. ·      You have a right to be quiet and reserved and to rest and to take care of yourself. CHAPTERS   00:00 Navigating Content Creation Challenges 01:22 Coping Strategies for Overstimulation 05:35 Managing Sensory Sensitivities at Events 10:17 Emotional Preparation for Major Life Events 15:42 Adjusting to Changes in Family Dynamics 18:45 Work-Life Balance and Preventing Burnout 25:22 Overcoming Perfectionism and Embracing Imperfection PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS   Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/   Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6 Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review"   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com  

Overstimulation & Recharge and the Impact on Relationships   In this conversation, Patricia explores the themes of overstimulation, the importance of recharging, and the dynamics of friendship, particularly in the context of neurodivergence. She shares her personal experiences with protesting, the challenges of feeling safe in crowds, and the emotional complexities of friendships, including rejection sensitivity, and the trauma that many Autistics have experienced in relationships. The discussion emphasizes the need for self-care, understanding one's limits, and the significance of connection in navigating life's challenges.   HIGHLIGHTS   ·       We often need to recharge after overstimulation. ·       Protesting can be a positive experience despite initial fears. ·       It's important to communicate needs in friendships. ·       Rejection sensitivity can affect how we perceive relationships. ·       Predictability and routine can provide comfort for neurodivergent individuals. ·       Self-care is essential for emotional regulation. ·       Understanding our triggers can help in managing our responses. ·       Friendships can change, and it's okay to let go. ·       We should honor our sensitivity and the way we connect with others. ·       It's important to recognize that not everyone is meant for us.   SOUND BITES "You have a right to rest." "You are not meant for everyone."   SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED You have a right to reach out to friends. You have a right to rest. You have a right to be playful. You have a right to be serious and quiet. Our idea of fun is not always what a neurotypical's idea of fun is, and that could be studying a language, studying something that you're interested in, doing a craft project, spending time with animals. You have a right to be quiet. You have a right to be loud. You are not meant for everyone and everyone is not meant for you.   CHAPTERS   00:00 Navigating Overstimulation and Recharge 06:04 Experiencing Protest: A Personal Journey 11:54 Friendship Dynamics and Rejection Sensitivity 18:48 Patterns of Engagement and Disengagement PODCAST HOST Patricia was a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for over 17 years, but she is now exclusively providing coaching. She knows what it's like to feel like an outcast, misfit, and truthteller.  Learning about the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), then learning she is AuDHD with a PDA profile, OCD and RSD, helped Patricia rewrite her history with a deeper understanding, appreciation, and a sense of self-compassion.  She created the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive to help other neurodivergent folks know that they aren't alone, and that having a brain that is wired differently comes with amazing gifts, and some challenges.  Patricia works online globally working individually with people, and she teaches Online Courses for neurodivergent folks that focus on understanding what it means to be a sensitive neurodivergent. Topics covered include: self-care, self-compassion, boundaries, perfectionism, mindfulness, communication, and creating a lifestyle that honors you LINKS   Neurodivergent Online Course-- https://unapologeticallysensitive.com/neurodivergent-online-courses/   Receive the top 10 most downloaded episodes of the podcast-- https://www.subscribepage.com/e6z6e6 Sign up for the Newsletter-- https://www.subscribepage.com/y0l7d4   To write a review in itunes: click on this link https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/unapologetically-sensitive/id1440433481?mt=2 select "listen on Apple Podcasts" chose "open in itunes" choose "ratings and reviews" click to rate the number of starts click "write a review"   Website--www.unapologeticallysensitive.com Facebook-- https://www.facebook.com/Unapologetically-Sensitive-2296688923985657/ Closed/Private Facebook group Unapologetically Sensitive-- https://www.facebook.com/groups/2099705880047619/ Instagram-- https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallysensitive/ Youtube-- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOE6fodj7RBdO3Iw0NrAllg/videos?view_as=subscriber Tik Tok--https://www.tiktok.com/@unapologeticallysensitiv e-mail-- [email protected] Show hashtag--#unapologeticallysensitive Music-- Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com