I Will Save Crypto Twitter... also Jensen Is Dating a Chinese Spy

Jensen Huang is out at Nvidia, and Thread breaks down the whole timeline, from year-old spy photos to the apology letter to a second affair report. He walks through the $30K Nvidia short he made on the news, then reacts to the resignation and a chaotic market open. Plus the 31 year old analyst who called it six months early.

Threadguy is the most crypto-pilled he's ever been, even with the tailwinds gone, and explains why he still just wants to own it. Plus whether crypto Twitter consensus is early or already priced in, the long history of state-sponsored honeypots, the study showing dead people make the best investors, and the failed vote to impeach Pete Hegseth.

Threadguy responds to TJR declaring the death of crypto Twitter and explains why crypto was never supposed to be cool in the first place. He breaks down the subculture cycle that killed CT, the narrative he thinks is poisoning a generation, and why Nvidia shedding $400 billion over Jensen's affair with an alleged Chinese spy doesn't add up.

Threadguy is crypto-pilled all over again. He breaks down why the alternative money thesis feels as strong as it's ever been, reacts to the Paraguay bank run that froze 3 million people out of their accounts, and explains why sending a simple wire is about to get a lot harder. Plus the new title sponsor, the market open bounce, Elon vs SoftBank, and the Democrats' AI trade problem.

Thread opens by thanking Satoshi for unstoppable money and recaps losing a basketball championship to Rasmr's team, then gets political for real: the midterm blowout, JD Vance's post-mortem, and how much a president can actually get done. Then the market crashes, semis down over 30% and the Nasdaq down 7%, as data center bans and anti-AI campaigns pile up.

Thread opens on a weekend of doomscrolling, from Tucker Carlson's Iran nuke warning to a $288K PSA 10 Dragonite that turned out to be fake, plus the AI image nobody can call. Mert from Helius calls in to break down the hacking wave hitting exchanges, fridges and nuke alert systems, where the real risk sits, and whether Hyperliquid is exposed.

Threadguy reacts to ICE, the parent company of the NYSE, partnering with TradeXYZ on Hyperliquid and Stanley Druckenmiller's first tweet ever, plus Google's $400B drop and why ads inside LLMs could be the best business ever. Then the emergency stream: Binance gets exploited for $5.5B, Tether and Circle freeze funds, and what the biggest hack in internet history means for trust in crypto.

Threadguy opens the FOMC double header with a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas rant aimed at Crypto Twitter, then gets into Instinct's $30B raise, Google's Genie 4 and the gaming super cycle, China boycotting La Liga over Mbappe's Mao meme, Microsoft's 60,000 buyouts and the AI layoff wave, Robinhood out-earning stocks with prediction markets, and Kevin Warsh's press conference.

Threadguy kicks off FOMC week asking whether AI cyber risk is the next COVID, and whether anyone actually saw COVID coming. He breaks down the GMO hack, where attackers are executing terrible trades in customers' accounts, then explains why the only real doomsday prep is raising cash. Plus Dario's aging arc, Jason Calacanis going bearish on Bitcoin while long Tao, and why Bitcoin is the one thing left that isn't AI.

Anthropic filed its S-1 and Threadguy reads it live: 1,300% revenue growth, 900% net revenue retention, and a risk section admitting it may lose control of its own AI. Before that, Samsung TVs are caught listening to everything in your house, and Brazil's market dumps 28% on a surprise election result. Then Qiao Wang of Alliance DAO joins as the face of the bulls to explain why the dumbest people you know are long AI, why Zcash is the best hedge for Bitcoin, and why he will never buy an IPO.