Find Your Flow

My coaching client was wanting to thrive.  He told me he was constantly studying about self-growth.  But he wanted to really transform his life.  And, he told me, so much of what he was reading was, to quote him, "woo-woo stuff."  He used that term as a reference to ideas he thought were "out there." So first, let me just say, what is "out there" to one person is commonplace and sensible to another.  But I knew what he was saying.  He wanted to change things in his life... but he wanted it based in research and reliability.  He wanted to get it down to the basics. I told him we could easily look at the "low hanging fruit," the easy things to accomplish -- the ones that give the biggest bang for the effort... pretty much guaranteed. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I outline 4 areas to improve, all in very "non-woowoo" ways... and very simple ways... so that you can get the biggest bang for your efforts. Listen in for the details! RELATED RESOURCES Fueling Your Body Exercising Your Body Resting Your Body Dealing With Stress Building A Thriving Life

Are you up for a challenge? In the last episode of my podcast, I discussed how to hold on when life is tough.  That's when life is challenging you. But what about when life isn't so challenging... where life is copacetic?  Just cruising. It's my observation that we work hard to keep life flat.  We work hard to keep things smooth.  Is it cold outside?  Turn on the heater.  Is it hot outside?  Turn on the A/C.  Keep things even... even-keeled.  Flat. We spend LOTS of energy to save the energy of dealing with challenges, big or small. But does that help (or harm) us?  Does it keep us safe or make us fragile? What if taking on small challenges actually gets us better prepared for bigger challenges?  What if making choices to expand into life helps us deal with life encroaching upon us? One of my "things" is to find little challenges for myself... new things to try, new activities to do, new tastes or sounds to take in, and new ways to try life. How about you?  What challenges are you taking on right now? Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to discover the power of a challenge.   RELATED RESOURCES Learning and Life Ways to Expand Growth Mindset Lessons in Jiu Jitsu Book:  Thrive Principles

Have you heard of Kaizen?  It is the principle of continuous improvement. Continuous improvement is a great model for change.  It is based on constant changes toward a better outcome.  No need for sudden upheaval or change (although that is sometimes necessary).  Instead, course corrections are made along the way, nudging something toward improvement. That "something"?  It might be a product (like Japanese automobiles, where Kaizen became the method of them becoming excellent automobiles), companies, or even individuals. But how, you might wonder, do you actually DO that continuous improvement? Let me offer a super-simple tool that you can apply to your own life, to your company or workplace, or even to a relationship or organization. SSC - Start, Stop, Continue Three benchmarks:  What do you need to Start?  What do you need to Stop?  What do you need to Continue? In this week's episode, I discuss how to apply SSC to your own life... and to other areas in your life. Listen in for a new tool. RELATED RESOURCES Dealing with Change Why We Avoid Change Paradigms Limiting Beliefs

I’m always looking for the life lessons, no matter what I am doing.  If things go well, what’s the lesson?  If things don’t go so well, what’s the lesson?  If something is fun, what’s the lesson?  If things are not so fun… well, there is a lesson there, too. A few years back, I did several podcast episodes about the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu.  But since then, for a number of reasons, I hung my gi up and ended by jiu jitsu life. And that left a void in my life… along with a relocation for my wife and me.  Into that void, we put pickleball.  So, after less than three years of playing, I thought it might just be time for a little thinking on pickleball.  What are the lessons there? (Separately, I am also doing some writing about the psychology of pickleball performance.  If you are interested, CHECK IT OUT HERE.) While lots of the lessons I learned in jiu jitsu have only been strengthened by what I have learned from pickleball, I wanted to choose some different lessons for you.  Five, to be exact.  And no, you don’t have to play pickleball for the lessons to apply to your life, too. You can listen to my Life Lessons from Pickleball episode below.   RELATED RESOURCES: Life Lessons from Pickleball Series The Pickled Brain - psychology and performance My Books

What's your WHY?  Your BIG WHY?  Why you are here.  The WHY that is your life purpose? I think we all have one... even if we haven't found it yet.  It's there.  Within us.  Your first task is to find it.  That's important.  But finding it isn't enough.  Second, you have to move toward it, work toward it... try to fulfill it.  If it is big enough, it may just take you the rest of your life! But what could get in your way?? The little "why's."  Your questions about "why did this happen?", "why are things this way?", "why do I feel this way?" Those little why's can drown out the BIG WHY.  It draws our attention away from what is important.  And yet, those little why's get our attention and energy.  They keep us in circles, chasing after nothing helpful or useful.  Just stuck. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I discuss our BIG WHY and the little why's that keep us away from the BIG WHY. RELATED RESOURCES Meaning/Purpose/Impact Showing Up Accepting WHAT IS What Can You Control? What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 1 What I Learned As A Chaplain, Pt. 2 Thrive Principles Book

Life is tough. Not always.  But along the way.  And even after you get past one struggle, that doesn't mean there isn't another one up ahead.  That's just the nature of life. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong or that the world, God, or the Universe is out to teach you a lesson.  It's just the nature of life. You may notice 2 crowds.  First is the "Grind Culture" that just says to suck it up, keep on grinding, and MAKE it work.  They have a point that you have to get through some tough times.  But sometimes, it is wise to step back and ask if the fight is worth it. Then there is the "Sign Culture."  That group tells you that any struggle is an indication you are on the wrong path, that something is wrong with you, and that life "should" be easy... if you are doing it right.  They have a point that sometimes, a struggle is pointing to you moving the wrong way... swimming upstream.  But the fact is, life means struggles... at times. So what do you do to hold up when life gets you down? We discuss it... and 5 things to do... on this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Does Everything Happen for a Reason? Dealing with Emotional Pain Facing Fears Accepting What Is Book:  Thrive Principles - 15 Strategies for Building YOUR Thriving Life

Blame is rampant in today's world.  We all quickly point the finger at someone/something else, proclaiming, "It's not my fault!" Interestingly, I also notice how rampant it is for people to take the credit for successes. They/we claim credit for what goes right but refuse blame for anything that goes wrong. We live in a "culture of blame." Which is what often keeps us from growing.  From changing.  From learning from our mistakes.  If someone/something else is to blame, what could I (or you) do?  Not my fault... not my problem. Change requires us to change the equation.  To take responsibility, when we are responsibible.  To share credit when others deserve credit. Great leadership is about accepting ultimate responsibility for mistakes and problems, while giving credit for successes. So, how do we turn the equation around?  I discuss it in this week's Thriveology Podcast. RELATED RESOURCES Responsibility NMF Syndrome In Marriage Showing Up Thrive Principles Book Immutable Laws of Living Book

Maybe it’s just me… but I don’t think so!  Sometimes, we get so stuck in win/lose mentality that we defeat ourselves.  We struggle, wear ourselves out, and never get to the point of something else. What else? Learning.  Nelson Mandela said, “I don’t lose.  I either win or I learn.”  What I have realized is, I either learn or learn.  Sure, there may be an outcome… I win the game or lose the game. But more importantly, did I learn?  Did I take something forward with me… that will make a difference as I move forward? In this episode, I highlight the shift — as well as how to make it — with my experiences in jiu jitsu, disc golf, and pickleball. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: This episode as an article My books on thriving and relationships

Here we go!  The old year has passed, and the new year stretches before us… full of possibility and potential.  Let’s talk about how to Thrive in ’25! In this episode, I’ll tell you where I have been, and where the podcast is headed.  I’ve got lots of great stuff coming your way, and am excited to share it with you. Also in this episode, I tell you the 3 A’s of what you can control, so you can start applying that RIGHT NOW. Stay tuned for future episodes! And listen to this episode below.   RELATED RESOURCES: My Books, Click HERE Episode Synopsis, Click HERE

Just a little rant here:  philosophy classes turn off many college students for a simple reason — they never get around to saying how philosophy can shake your living.  Some classes might teach more on “how to think philosophically,” or “here are the old philosophers.”  Some may speak to ethics or arguments, logic or some other esoteric area.  But how to live, day-to-day?  That is often lost to the student. (By they way, I would offer this as an issue with much of theology, too.  Lots of talk about what not to do, what God (or gods) might be like, and how to judge how others live… but not so much clarity on living day-to-day.  But that is a rant for another day!) Anyway, philosophy, as originally taught in ancient days, was exactly for deciding how to live.  How should you act, feel, and think?  As different schools of philosophy might point out, that all depends upon your basic ideas of what a meaningful life might be. Sometimes, we are already acting in ways that point to our idea of meaning, even without a philosophical basis.  I think of this as our “natural philosophy” — how we have made sense of the world. After my first book, many people asked if I was a Stoic.  At that time, I had only a passing concept of that philosophy.  Just one of those old schools of philosophy from a bygone age.  But after hearing it a number of times, I started investigating.  Sure enough, much of my approach to living day-to-day was Stoic.  Huh. Then, I started finding others that had this same experience.  One of those is Vitaliy Katsenelson.  He is the CEO of an investment company.  But his story goes back to his family’s immigration to the United States, from Russia, when Vitaliy was a child.  He was old enough to still remember those memories of a dying USSR (and to hold onto a bit of an accent), but young enough to find his way through American culture. After writing several books on investing (including the psychology of investing), Vitaliy took to talking about life.  Not just professional life.  But other areas of life.  Art, music, chess, and family life were grist for the mill of exploring meaning. This led to Vitaliy’s latest book, Soul In The Game.  While in the process of writing, Vitaliy stumbled upon Stoic thought and found a new home there.  He incorporates that into this book, to further his exploration into the meaningful life (a slightly different question than the meaning of life). I had a chance to sit down and chat with Vitaliy about a wide range of issues and topics, all related to how life becomes meaningful, and how to find that meaning.  Listen to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast to find out more. RELATED RESOURCES Vitaliy’s Website Vitaliy’s Podcast Find His Book Here My Book on Thriving