84. Healing Family Trauma, with Abbey Williams

How to break the cycle of relational trauma Today I'm talking to Abbey Williams, LSW about estrangements and healing to break the cycle of generational trauma. Abbey spoke at our recent Stepmom Summit (the Summit is over but you can still access the presentations for a few more days with an Ultimate Access Pass) About Abbey: Abbey is a Trauma Therapist + Estrangement Expert, Founder of You, The Mother, Coach, Co-Founder of The Estrangement Project, Co-Founder of The Parenting with Trauma Project, and mother of 4. For over 10 years, Abbey has provided direct clinical and coaching services to individuals seeking healing from relational trauma. She writes and speaks about various parenting, relational, and mental health topics.  Abbey focuses on helping moms heal from their childhood wounding, navigate difficult family dynamics, estrangement, and breaking generational trauma. She is committed to supporting, empowering, and connecting with her community by providing accessible information on her podcast, "You, The Mother Podcast," social media platforms, coaching, support groups, healing book club, retreats, and webinars for people all over the world.  She has been featured by PopSugar, Parents, SheKnows, and Romper, and was named a top 50 parenting podcast by Podcast Magazine.  Abbey navigates her blended family/coparenting life in Cincinnati, OH with her husband, four kids, and two sister labs. You Can Find Abbey: On Instagram: @youthemother On her website, youthemother.com Links Mentioned In Today's Episode Get your Ultimate Access Pass and get access to the Stepmom Summit HERE! Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE

What happens when you realize you're in a high-conflict situation? All too often, stepmoms get into their stepfamily only to realize their spouse's ex is way more high-conflict than they realized or that there is some pretty nasty parental alienation happening. That's exactly what happened to Maarit Miller and we're talking all about her experience and how it led her to start coaching others through similar situations. Maarit spoke at our recent Stepmom Summit (the Summit is over but you can still access the presentations for a few more days with an Ultimate Access Pass) About Maarit: Maarit has been a mom for 20+ years, a stepmom for 15+, and was one of the founding moderators over at the stepparent support subreddit. She's been nominated for Best Stepmom Blog and named a Top 10 Blended Family Blog. Blended Family Frappé was also listed as one of the best blended family Instagram accounts to follow. And she says when she's running her site, she's probably eating tacos while watching Star Wars. You Can Find Maarit: On Instagram: @blendedfamilyfrappe On her website, blendedfamilyfrappe.com  Links Mentioned In Today's Episode Get your Ultimat Access Pass and get access to the Stepmom Summit HERE! Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Does High Conflict Coparenting Ever Get Better? That's what we're talking about in today's episode with CEO and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, Megan Hunter, another "three-peat" guest (Episode 27 and Episode 59) and speaker at this year's Stepmom Summit (which is coming up April 25-28th - you can get on the waitlist for doors to open HERE).  Megan will give us a bit of a preview of what she and Bill Eddy will discuss when they appear together at the Summit in a few weeks - and, as always, some great tips for handling any high conflict personalities you may have in your life.  About Megan: Megan Hunter, MBA, is the co-founder and CEO. She developed the concept of the Institute after 13 years in policy, legislation, and judicial training with the Arizona Supreme Court and five years with the Dawes County Attorney’s Office in Nebraska. She is founder and publisher of Unhooked Books, a U.S.-based media company. Megan has trained professionals in business, public service, law, education, and mental health in the U.S. and seven  other countries. She holds an MBA from the University of Phoenix and a Business and Economics degree from Chadron State College. She has served as President of the Arizona Chapter of the Association of Family & Conciliation Courts, the Arizona Family Support Council and Nebraska Child Support Enforcement Association. She served five  years on the Arizona Board of Psychologist Examiner, and is one of our experts serving on the Advisory board of Stepfamily Solutions. You Can Find Megan: On Instagram @highconflictinstitute On her website, highconflictinstitute.com Links Mentioned In Today's Episode Get your FREE ticket for the Stepmom Summit HERE! Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!  

Is it possible to stepmom without losing yourself? That's what we're talking about in today's episode with relationship crisis coach Jessica Frew - a "three-peat" guest (Episode 29 and Episode 65) and speaker at this year's Stepmom Summit (which is coming up April 25-28th - you can get on the waitlist for doors to open HERE). And spoiler alert, Jessica has some great advice. About Jessica: Jessica Frew is a wife, ex-wife, mom, stepmom, and BOLD action taker. She has a successful podcast called “Husband in Law” that she records with her husband, Matt, and her ex-husband, Steve. Together they are sharing their stories of love, marriage, coming out, divorce, remarriage and co-parenting to help others know they are not alone. She owns The BOLD Logic, a company devoted to helping people figure out the “What NOW?!” after crisis in their relationship or having a partner come out. Jessica is a firm believer that by knowing and understanding what it is you really want in life you can BOLDly create a life you love, no matter what your circumstances. You Can Find Jessica: On Instagram @heyjessicafrew On her podcast, Husband In Law On her website, theboldlogic.com Links Mentioned In Today's Episode Hop on the waitlist for the Stepmom Summit HERE Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Let's Get Comfortable . . . In Your Own Skin. Today's episode is about getting more comfortable in your own skin. Specifically as it relates to your partner’s ex and comparing yourself to her. This is something that I hear ALL THE TIME from stepmoms. And it can take various forms.  It can be overt, like wondering if your spouse thinks she’s prettier or smarter than you.  But it can also be sneaky and lead to even more insecurities, like when you wonder why your partner married her to begin with.  Whatever way it comes, you can find yourself down an unhealthy rabbit hole real quick. And you can find yourself obsessing over her. Her looks, her parenting skills, why she doesn’t like you. On and on and on.  I'll walk you through some of the most common comparisons - and we'll talk about how you can reset your outlook the next time you find yourself wondering if you're measuring up. Links Mentioned In Today's Episode If you'd like more on this topic, you can check out Linda Black's piece in Stepfamily Magazine: Stepmoms, Quit Comparing Yourself To Your Partner's Ex. Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Are you a people pleaser? If so, this episode is for YOU. Our guest today has been here before, back on episode 61. And she recently published her first book, The People Pleaser’s Guide to Coparenting Well.  About Mikki: Mikki Gardner is a Certified Life and Conscious Parenting Coach, a mom, a speaker, host of the Co-Parenting with Confidence Podcast, and author of the People Pleaser’s Guide to Co-Parenting Well. Mikki’s personal struggles with divorce motivated her to become a “better mom” so that she could better help her son overcome the challenges of their new family dynamic. Drawing on her academic background, professional training, and personal experience, she empowers other moms to move beyond the overwhelming obstacles of co-parenting and thrive after divorce. Mikki strives to guide moms to navigate the divorce & co-parenting drama by becoming calm, confident co-parents, even without their ex’s participation. Mikki is on a mission to help children by helping their moms learn to handle the emotional and practical difficulties of divorce and co-parenting while creating an intentional, joyful, and ease-filled life for both themselves and their children. You can find Mikki:  On her podcast, Co-Parenting With Confidence  You can grab her book HERE  Follow her on Instagram Visit her website: www.mikkigardner.com Links Mentioned In Today's Episode Listen to my first interview with Mikki back in Episode 61 HERE. Got a question for me or something you're struggling with in your stepfamily life? Submit a question to be answered on a future podcast episode HERE Want to go deeper into coparenting, finding your own peace, and other blended family challenges? Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

In today's episode, I'm answering your questions! I put out a call before the holidays for questions and boy, did you respond! I'm so excited to tackle these and hope today is just the first of many Q&A episodes.  Today's question is from Lauren, who wants to know if feeling like an outsider ever really gets better and how she can cope with it. If you've got a question you'd like me to answer, head HERE and ask away!  Links Mentioned In Today's Episode Submit a question to be answered on a future episode HERE Join the Stepfamily Circle HERE Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Today I'm talking to another veteran stepfamily coach, Amelia Lane, all about how to get "okay" with it when you realize your expectations do not line up with your stepfamily reality.  Amelia has been a guest expert inside the Stepfamily Circle membership, which you can learn more about HERE. And she's got some great insights for you - no matter what stage of stepmom life you're in! About Amelia Amelia Lane is a Certified Stepparent Coach and the co-founder of The Art of Blended Chaos, based out of a small town in Ontario, Canada. As a {second} wife, mother of two, and stepmom of one, Amelia draws on 13 years of partnership, 8 years of marriage, and a lifetime of navigating stepfamily dynamics when working with clients. Her personal journey, from a child of divorce to a blended family maven, fuels her coaching. Amelia doesn't just bring certification; she brings a lifetime of lived experiences, having triumphed over jealousy, insecurity, parenting differences, communication blocks and a handful of other stepfamily challenges. Before coaching, Amelia spent 12 years in long-term care as a Personal Support Worker, caring for the elderly and assisting psychiatric patients in a group-homes. Now, with a continued passion for helping others, she leverages her unique insights to guide clients through the maze of stepfamily life. You Can Find Amelia: On Instagram @amelia.lane.stepparentcoach and @theartofblendedchaos  You can learn more about all of the ways Amelia On her website www.theartofblendedchaos.com  Amelia has offered listeners of the podcast 50% of her eBook: The {Un}Official Guide to Becoming an Empowered Stepmom. Just head HERE and use the code: STEPMOMDIARIES at checkout.  Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

Today I'm talking to a veteran stepfamily coach and one of last year's Stepmom Summit speakers, Mindy Kyle. We are talking about how it feels when you realize you've gone from dating to the deep end of stepfamily life and feel like you are barely staying afloat.  Mindy has a wealth of experience in that very subject and some great insights for stepmoms who might be struggling right now. About Mindy Mindy Kyle is no stranger to the struggles that often come with the title of stepmom. She became a stepmom to 4 kids at the early age of 24.  Because of her struggles through her own stepmom journey, she focuses solely on helping other stepmoms who feel they are barely surviving their stepmom roles and instead create the kind of deeply connected, harmonious, and purpose-filled lives they have always dreamt of living. You Can Find Mindy: At mindykylecoaching.com On Instagram: @mindykylecoaching Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!

In this episode, I’m talking to a rockstar in the influencer marketing world, but one who also happens to be a stepmom and has one of the best relationships with her stepchildren’s mom that I’ve ever seen. Sarah Boyd and I actually met sitting next to each other at a dinner hosted by a mutual friend, Susie Moore, in Miami. And the more I talked to her about her family life and what a rockstar she is, the more I thought, I’ve got to have her on the podcast! The mom of Sarah's stepkids is journalist and influencer Catt Sadler, and it’s amazing how they have navigated their situation. I can’t wait for you to hear from her. About Sarah Sarah Boyd is the Founder and creative force behind SIMPLY, a collective with one goal in mind: connecting. Sarah started her career in Fashion PR and in 2012, she decided to channel her expert industry know-how, her extensive list of contacts, and relationships into starting her own business. The SIMPLY 'Do What You Love' event is an annual Fashion and Beauty Conference in cities such as LA, NY, Chicago, and Dubai. Since 2012, SIMPLY has hosted tens of thousands of attendees. In 2016, with the rise of influencer marketing, Sarah started managing some of the most sought-after celebrity influencers. Her current/past clients roster includes Alessandra Ambrosio, Jamie Chung, Olivia Culpo, Julianne Hough, Lauren Bushnell Lane, Jana Kramer, and many more who look to Sarah to help them capitalize on their influential status in the entertainment industry to make their mark in the influencer world. Sarah’s reach is undeniable and she has been able to secure partnerships with prestigious brands like CITI, Topshop, Barney’s NY and many more. She’s been featured in Marie Claire, People Style Watch, Fox News, E!, LA Business Journal, to name a few, and she was named a "Female Founder to Watch" by Forbes and is now a Forbes Fashion and Beauty contributor. In 2017, Sarah completed a successful acquisition for SIMPLY with Socialyte (under the NYLON LLC parent company) and Sarah held the position of President of Socialyte. In 2018, Sarah co-founded the Moms + Babes Box with partner Jana Kramer which is a quarterly subscription box filled with 6+ full sized products for moms and their babes. In 2020, Sarah and Jana sold the business but remain advisors and the face of the brand. In 2022, Socialyte was acquired by Dolphin Entertainment and in 2023, Socialyte and Be Social merged to become The Digital Dept. where Sarah is currently the co-CEO. You Can Find Sarah: At The Digital Dept On Social: Instagram @sarahpboyd // @thedigitaldpt  LinkedIn @sarahpboyd And don't forget to save your seat for the Jan. 24th Masterclass: 6 Simple Steps To Stepfamily Peace: The blueprint happy stepmoms use to achieve harmony in their stepfamily life - even when it feels like a chaos-free home is just a pipe dream.  Are you enjoying The Stepmom Diaries? If so, please consider rating and reviewing the show. It will help me reach more stepmoms just like you so they can get MORE out of stepmom life! It’s super easy – all you have to do is click HERE and scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “write a review.” Then just let me know what you like best! And the best part about leaving a review? If you send me a screenshot of your review, I’ll send YOU my 20-minute Stepmom Self-Care Blueprint. For FREE. It’s normally $49 and it’s a great tool to quickly set up a self-care plan you’ll actually use. Just head HERE to send me your screenshot and grab your blueprint!