S6, Ep 10: SMBC with a known donor, Ashley Coates

Valerie Bauman, is an investigative reporter for Newsweek, solo mother by choice, and author of one of my favorite memoirs in the solo moms space, Inconceivable:Super Sperm Donors, Off-the-Grid Insemination, and Unconventional Family Planning. I devoured Valerie’s book during a 30-hour airport layover, and by the time I finished, I felt like I had spent the day with her, getting to know her as a friend.We dive deep into Valerie’s journey, from her experience considering sperm banks or a close friend to ultimately finding a known donor on Facebook. She openly discusses the emotional challenges of navigating this path, including a heartbreaking miscarriage, before welcoming her now 3.5-month-old baby boy. Valerie's story is a testament to the resilience and strength of women who, as she puts it, "intentionally build what they want."Our conversation also touches on important topics such as the bioethics of the sperm donation industry, the anxiety that often accompanies pregnancy, and making empowered choices as a mother. If you’ve ever felt torn between the life you want and societal expectations, this episode will resonate deeply.In this episode, we discuss:Valerie’s decision to become a mom during the pandemic and what sparked her journey;Navigating the sperm donor process and finding a donor on Facebook;The shift from considering traditional sperm banks to seeking a known donor;Her miscarriage and the emotional toll of almost accepting life without motherhood;Anxiety during pregnancy and the struggle of waiting for the other shoe to drop;The power of creating the life you want as a woman—regardless of societal norms;Bioethics in the sperm donation industry and the need for better regulation;And more!👩‍👧‍👦The Single Greatest Choice is here to support you in every stage of your SMBC journey through  1:1 coaching, community groups, group coaching and workshops, and retreats and SMBC family trips. More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

In this episode on the mating gap and egg freezing, we discuss:The challenges created by the shortage of eligible, educated men.How the education gap between men and women affects dating dynamics.How societal expectations and outdated gender norms are contributing to this issue.Why considering partners from diverse educational backgrounds can be beneficial.The psychological benefits of egg freezing for single women.How women are making empowered choices about their reproductive futures.Marcia's insights reveal the unique struggles women face today and offer a fresh perspective on how assisted reproductive technologies are changing the landscape of motherhood. Tune in to hear more about her study, the concept of the "mating gap," and why so many women are rethinking what it means to have it all.For full show notes, visit www.singlegreatestchoice.com/podcast-feed/s7-ep1-marcia-inhorn-motherhood-on-ice More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

My final guest of this season is Ashley Coates, a longtime Instagram friend and solo mom by choice living in Portland, Oregon. When Ashley decided to pursue solo motherhood, she decided to ask a close friend to be her known donor. What happened next feels almost too good to be true. Tune in as Ashley shares her experience of navigating conception, pregnancy and birth with a known donor and the unexpected joy of extending her family from coast to coast. More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

We discuss more about…..The transition from corporate life to focusing on solo motherhood.The joys and challenges of parenting during a global pandemic.Her mother’s health crisis and its impact on her responsibilities.The process of writing her book featuring stories of 20 Australian SMBCs.Strategies for achieving a better work/life balance.Prioritizing experiences over material luxuries.Tips and wisdom for other women considering the solo motherhood path.This episode is a must-listen for anyone considering or already on the path to becoming a solo mom by choice. And if you missed her previous episodes on the SGC Podcast, make sure you tune into those by using the links below!Connect with Alisha!Follow her on social media! Website | Podcast | @solomumsociety  | @noneedforprincecharmingLearn more and check out her latest book HERE Mentioned ResourcesS1, Ep 14: No Need for Prince Charming with Alisha BurnsS4, Ep 3: Books For Your Child's BookshelfYour Dream Life Starts Here by Kristina Karlsson More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

We discuss more about…..Elizabeth’s journey to fostering and adoption.Balancing professional life with motherhood.The emotional and logistical challenges of fostering.dating and introducing our children to a future partner.Building and relying on a support system.Insights and advice for those considering fostering or adoption.Connect with Elizabeth!Website | Instagram | Instant Mom PodcastCheck out the Central General Store!Website | InstagramLearn more about the SGC Childbirth 101 Class for solo moms!  More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

We discuss more about…..Emily's initial adoption research and the steps involved in the process.The emotional journey and uncertainties of getting matched.The costs and logistical aspects of adopting in the U.S.Adjusting to motherhood and balancing work with childcare.The importance of support and strong friendships in solo motherhood.  More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

We discuss more about…..Celine's transition into embracing single motherhood.The challenges and emotional journey of egg retrieval and embryo transfer.Moving from the Netherlands to Sedona, and eventually to New York City.The vital role of community and support for SMBCs.Balancing business and motherhood, and the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive influences.Celine’s birth and postpartum experience. Connect with Celine!Follow her on social media! Instagram | Website | Media More info about coaching and community groups at  www.singlegreatestchoice.com/coaching More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

We discuss more about…..What the fertility process looks like in ColombiaThe raw emotions while undergoing IVDeciding whether or not to have a second childSupport and expectations during pregnancy and postpartum More info about 1:1 coaching, group coaching and community groups with The Single Greatest Choice at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/  More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

When Danielle and Paige were ready to grow their family, they knew the route of a traditional sperm bank wasn't right for them.  They went to great lengths to  find a known donor by tapping into their own network and doing a TON of legwork.  After walking that path themselves, they decided to create The Seed Scout to help other families who were looking for options beyond the big, impersonal and deeply flawed major cryobanks.We discuss more about…..The journey of exploring alternative paths to parenthood beyond traditional sperm banks.The significance of building trusting relationships with potential donors.Establishing The Seed Scout as a business.The need for ethical and transparent practices in the donor conception industry.Acknowledging donors as individuals and fostering a supportive environment.Connect with The Seed Scout!Follow them on social media! Website | Instagram | TikTok More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/

If you’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to have a second child as a SMBC, you’re not alone! I frequently get asked about this topic, and it’s one that’s on my mind a lot these days. From making decisions about egg and embryo freezing to deciding on spacing between children to weighing the pros and cons of being “one and done”...there’s a lot to think about! In this episode, I’m opening the conversation and asking SMBCs with one or more kids to share their thoughts about growing their families. What drives their desire to add more, or conversely, what factors help them decide their family is complete as it is? These audio clips provide a range of perspectives and bring up lots of important considerations. As always, the goal of this podcast is to help women like you and me feel less alone, and I hope these reflections help to do that in some small way no matter where you are in your motherhood journey! More info about coaching, community groups, and retreats at www.singlegreatestchoice.com/