Self-Sabotage Isn’t What You Think: Why It Happens and How to Change It

Why do we procrastinate, overthink, avoid, or hold back just when things matter most? Your social media feed at 2 am calls this self-sabotage, but is it?In this episode of the Scenic Route, we unpack fresh psychology research that flips the story of self-sabotage on its head. You’ll discover three hidden patterns that shape how we repeat harmful choices:Sensitives: quick learners who adapt after mistakesUnawares: people who miss the cause-and-effect until it’s explainedCompulsives: those who know better but can’t break the cycleYou’ll hear why common advice like “just use willpower” or “learn from your mistakes” fails so many of us, and what actually works instead.Because here’s the twist: you’re not broken, lazy, or your own worst enemy. What looks like sabotage is often safety in disguise. And once you see that, everything changes.Paper mentioned:Zeng, L., Park, H. R. P., McNally, G. P., Jean-Richard-dit-Bressel, P., et al. (2025). Causal inference and cognitive-behavioral integration deficits drive stable variation in human punishment sensitivity. Communications Psychology, 3, Article 103._____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

September rolls in and suddenly life speeds up – school runs, work deadlines, holidays on the horizon. And with it comes the pressure to “get organised,” “finish strong,” and set bigger, better goals.But here’s the truth: SMART goals don’t work for most women juggling kids, work, and real life. They focus on outcomes you can’t fully control — which often kills momentum before you even get started.In this episode of The Scenic Route, we’re rethinking goal-setting from the end of summer to the end of the year. You’ll learn a framework that actually fits real life: lead and lag goals. Instead of chasing perfect outcomes, you’ll discover how to focus on the small, repeatable actions that build momentum, create daily wins, and carry you through even the busiest seasons.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why SMART goals often backfire (and why you’re not failing – the method is)The difference between lag goals (outcomes) and lead goals (actions you can control)Two simple ways to start setting goals using this framework, whether you’re outcome-driven or action-drivenHow to shift from chasing results to building momentumPractical examples for family life, work, self-care, and even the holiday seasonIf you’re tired of feeling like you’re always behind on your goals, this episode will give you a gentler, smarter way forward.See you on the Scenic Route!_____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

Can a student’s body size affect their grades? Research says yes. In this episode of The Scenic Route, Jen explores how fat bias and socioeconomic bias shape grades, opportunities, and self-worth.You’ll hear:A personal story of how weight stigma shows up in healthcare.A German study of 14,000 students showed that overweight and lower-income kids receive lower grades than equally capable peers.Why grades often reflect compliance, neatness, and bias more than actual learning.How to judge whether a study is credible using reliability, objectivity, and validity and why validity is the trickiest.Practical steps for parents, teachers, and students to challenge fatbias in schools and beyond.Grades don’t just decide report cards. They decide futures. When body size and class bias affect grades, kids are taught that some people matter less.This episode is a call to question those systems and to push for a world where all kids can thrive.👉 Listen now and share this with another parent, teacher, or friend who cares about equity in education.Mentioned studyNennstiel, R., & Gilgen, S. (2024). Does chubby Can get lower grades than skinny Sophie? Using an intersectional approach to uncover grading bias in German secondary schools. PLOS ONE, 19(7), e0305703. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0305703All other mentioned resources are listed on scenicroutepodcast.com_____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

You know what to do. You’ve read the books, journaled the insights, maybe even coached others through the same thing. But when it comes to your own life, something still isn’t shifting.We’re diving into the psychology of the knowing–doing gap, that frustrating space between insight and action, and unpacking why even the most emotionally intelligent among us get stuck.Rooted in behavioural theory, trauma-informed coaching, and real-life experience, we explore the invisible forces blocking change, even when we’re desperate. You’ll hear about internal conditioning, emotional safety, nervous system responses, and the quiet ways our culture rewards burnout and self-abandonment.This isn’t about pushing harder.It’s about creating inner and outer infrastructure that finally supports the life you already know you want.We'll cover:The surprising origins of the knowing–doing gap (and why it’s not your fault)Why self-awareness is necessary – but not enough – for behaviour changeThe role of emotional resistance, cognitive dissonance, and nervous system protection in keeping you stuckFour powerful barriers that block action and how to gently dissolve themWhy change disrupts social dynamics, and how to hold your ground when others push backSomatic and practical tools to help you pause, realign, and take brave, value-aligned actionWhy midlife (or any life crossroads) is often the beginning of true freedomThis episode is for you if:You’re deeply self-aware but still repeating patterns that exhaust or resent youYou crave rest, clarity, boundaries—or visibility—but can’t seem to follow throughYou’ve been told you’re “so strong” for too long, and you’re ready to be realYou want to understand not just why you’re stuck, but how to move forward👥 Desire support? This is the exact work I do with clients in 1:1 coaching. We build safety, structure, and clarity around your inner resistance so you can actually live what you know. → Learn more or book a call_____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

You did everything right.So why does it feel so wrong?In this episode of The Scenic Route, we dive into the quiet ache so many of us feel after building the life they thought they were supposed to want, only to realise it doesn’t feel like theirs anymore.We explore:Why “success” often leaves women feeling hollow instead of wholeHow Symbolic Interactionism explains the silent shaping of your identityErving Goffman’s Front Stage vs. Backstage selves—and when the performance becomes unbearableWhat happens when applause stops feeling like affirmation and starts sounding like a trapHow to begin untangling the scripts you inherited—and start writing your ownIf you’ve ever thought, I don’t remember choosing this life, If you feel the weight of doing everything “right” but still feel wrong inside – This conversation is for you.✨ To go deeper, sign up for my monthly letter, Soft and access the bonus self-reconnection exercise: https://jenniferwalter.myflodesk.com/ta75zo6jqm🎧 Follow The Scenic Route for more slow, soul-centred reflections on identity, midlife, social change and finding your way back to yourself._____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

In this fierce and timely episode of The Scenic Route, we unpack the UK Supreme Court’s ruling that redefines “woman” based solely on biological sex, excluding trans women from legal protections, political representation, and basic recognition.But this isn’t just a courtroom debate. It’s a culture war dressed in legal robes. We follow the funding behind the ruling, expose the billionaire feminists fueling the backlash, and dismantle the persistent myths about biology, gender, and identity.This episode asks hard questions: Who really benefits from the binary? Why do so many defend it so violently? And what does it mean that we wreck Teslas, but not Harry Potter books?“If you want to burn Teslas but not Harry Potter books… ask yourself why.”We draw insights from Judith Butler, bell hooks, Laurie Penny, Simone de Beauvoir, and others to examine why trans women are not a threat to womanhood: they are its most powerful proof.In this episode:Why the UK ruling matters far beyond BritainJK Rowling, Elon Musk, and the weaponisation of wealthWhy biological sex is a spectrum, not a binaryHow gender is assigned, performed, and punishedThe role of evangelical power and purity culture in gender politics10 takedowns of the “biological women only” mythSee you on the Scenic Route, because sometimes the long way is the shortest way home._____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

Why do we feel exhausted even when life looks “fine” on the outside? In this episode of Scenic Route, we explore the quiet, invisible weight so many of us carry—and how our bodies often hold onto stress, tension, and emotional labor in ways we don’t even notice.Zurich-based body therapist Michelle Sabbatini joins Jennifer Walter to discuss the difference between having a body and being one and how tuning into our physical sensations can be the first step toward healing and resilience.What we unpack together:The disconnect between how we feel and what we think we should feelWhy perfectionism, caregiving, and mental load leave us chronically depletedThe tension we don’t notice until it’s unbearableWhy it’s so hard to say “I need help”—and how to startTwo grounding breathwork practices to help you come back to yourselfThis episode is for anyone who's been feeling drained, disconnected, or “not quite right”— and wants to start coming home to their body in a grounded, compassionate way.See you on the Scenic Route.Connect with MichelleMichelle Sabbatini’s practice: bodylearning.chFollow her on LinkedInBook a session with MichelleDon't forget to mention "Scenic Route" to reclaim her special offer of a free session! _____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

Why are women punished for being honest about motherhood?When Chappell Roan said her friends with kids are “in hell,” the backlash wasn’t about the words but about breaking the performance. In this episode of Scenic Route, sociologist and coach Jennifer Walter unpacks the emotional labour, mental load, and societal expectations that define modern motherhood.Why do we praise men like Seth Rogen for opting out of parenthood while vilifying women who name the cost of caregiving? Why do tradwife aesthetics trend while actual support for mothers disappears?This episode explores:The mental load and invisible labour that mothers carryWhy motherhood is a performance, not just an experienceThe backlash against Chappell Roan and what it revealsAdrienne Rich on motherhood as institution vs. experienceErving Goffman’s theory of social roles and the "good mother" maskThe rise of the trad wife movement and its political implicationsWhy unpaid care work is central to the global economy—and still invisibleThe cost of honesty in a culture built on maternal silence🎧 With insights on:Call Her Daddy and Chappell Roan's viral statementThe cultural double standard around parenting and genderHow systems maintain control through emotional suppressionJoin us on the Scenic Route.New episode drops Tuesday._____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

We are living in the Disinformation Age — a time unlike any other in history. Never before have we been bombarded with so much information, yet so little clarity. Our feeds are flooded with misleading headlines, personal opinions disguised as facts, and viral narratives designed to manipulate us. Even the sharpest minds can fall for misinformation—so how do we learn to see through the noise?In this episode of The Scenic Route, I sit down with Dr. Brie Kara, a psychologist specializing in disinformation and media literacy, to break down:The real difference between misinformation and disinformation (and why it matters)Why our brains are wired to fall for cognitive biases and mental shortcutsHow disinformation campaigns hijack our instincts—and how to fight backPractical strategies to sharpen critical thinking and media literacy skillsWhy fact-checking isn’t enough—and what to do insteadWe’re constantly being pulled in different directions by algorithms, outrage-driven media, and our own subconscious biases. This episode will give you the tools to think more clearly, question more effectively, and reclaim your mental autonomy.Listen now and upgrade your brain’s operating system!Mentioned in this episodeBrie Kara's websiteOn InstagramOn ThreadsThinking Fast & Slow by Daniel KahnemanNew episodes drop every Tuesday. See you on the Scenic Route._____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.

For decades, empathy has been celebrated as the glue of human connection— but what if it’s actually burning you out? In this thought-provoking episode of The Scenic Route, we unpack why empathy alone isn’t enough and why it’s time to shift toward something more sustainable: compassion.💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✔️ Why empathy is exhausting—and how it leads to burnout, anxiety, and emotional paralysis ✔️ The three ways empathy has been weaponized in modern life ✔️ How selective empathy keeps us trapped in caring for some while ignoring others ✔️ Why compassion—not empathy—is the antidote to overwhelm and emotional fatigue ✔️ Actionable steps to set boundaries, stop absorbing everyone’s pain, and channel care into action🎙 My Personal Story I share my journey of unlearning toxic empathy, from growing up in a household where empathy was a one-way street to realizing how this pattern mirrors larger societal systems of emotional extraction.The Scenic Route Podcast is your weekly dose of mindset shifts, deep conversations, and radical compassion—so you can stop over-functioning and start thriving. New episodes every Tuesday!_________________________________________This episode is part of #Podcasthon! I’m thrilled to participate in this global initiative where 1,000+ podcasters unite to support charitable causes. This episode highlights the Frauenzentrale Zürich, an incredible nonprofit that has supported women for over a century.👉 Support their mission here: https://frauenzentrale-zh.ch/spenden/_____________________________________________________________________ Visit jenniferwalter.me – your cosy corner where recovering perfectionists, misfits, and those done pretending to be fine find space to breathe, dream, and create real change." 💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION Follow on Instagram Follow on TikTok Follow on Threads 🔮 DAILY DOSE OF CHILL The Scenic Route Affirmation Card Deck is your online permission slip to trust your inner compass again. What does your card say? Share it with us! 👉 Pull Your Free Card ⭐ LOVE THE SHOW?Leave a rating and review. Your words help other wandering souls discover the Scenic Route podcast.