Recalibrating Our Attachment Template: Incarnation To Birth

Our attachment template primarily determines how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world, and to recalibrate it, we need to work where it was formed: from incarnation, conception, in our Mother’s womb, to birth and our first year. Our attachment template is formed by the time we get to about 1. Key events, memories, and ways of relating usually compound that template, meaning that patterns of relating keep repeating over time.This leads to the development of what we might think is personality when it’s actually adaptive traits that keep repeating because they are trying to protect us from further pain. And because they were formed so early, these traits often feel like ‘that’s just who I am’.When we identify these themes and patterns in our lives, we can also trace them into our Soul’s Journey and work with the whole root system of our consciousness. This all needs attending to to recalibrate our attachment template.Whilst most of us won’t have a conscious memory of this very early and primal time in our lives, it is accessible once we are tuned in enough to our body and internal world. Everyone I have worked with can access this, we don’t need to be ‘spiritual’ – whatever that means! This is also not a solely cognitive process. Deep remembering comes from the body, the mind, and the soul, which can all be accessed through the body, our six senses, and by slightly altering our state of consciousness, which we all can do. I also find that doing this helps us to realise that babies aren’t born pure and open. By the time we are born, our sense of self has been developing for 9 months, the attachment template is formed, and we are bringing in themes from our Soul to resolve and reconcile.My last caveat is I don’t channel anything for anyone when work – this is really important, as we do need a direct and embodied connection with what we remember, otherwise it doesn’t truly ‘land’ in our system and thus doesn’t actually recalibrate our state of being.During the episode, I talk through the potential of remembering and recalibrating at the following key stages of coming into this life:IncarnationConceptionGestationBirthFirst YearI want to remind and inspire those who are listening that it is possible to process pain that felt previously unbearable, once we are resourced and stable enough, we can remember, and we can unwind the adaptions in our system and come home to ourselves.SOUL WORK TRAININGCheck out The Soul Work Training to integrate gestational healing into your practice.Send us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

Salena Walker; Herbalist, Naturapath and Nutritionist joins us to talk about what’s going on during menopause and how we can support ourselves with what we drink, eat, think and excrete!She talks us through what’s going on with our hormones, what we need to consider to take care of ourselves, plus herbs and supplements to support the transformation.ABOUT SALENASalena has over twenty years of teaching experience and offers many of her courses both in person in her woodland classroom in West Wales and online. Her course ‘Hormones and Menopause’ is now available online.WebsiteSend us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

I want to set up the context for this episode because it’s so important that you know I’m sharing this from a place of love, years of experience working with women, compassion, understanding and no judgment. My perspective is non-religious, non-dogmatic, and most importantly – comes from an experience of working in an environment of respect. Here are the main elements to consider when healing after abortion:Identifying What’s StuckThemes and beliefs can get stuck when we’ve had an abortion. So that is where we need to start in our healing process because if we try and do the other steps before, it doesn’t work. Our starting point is to tune into the body and feel into what’s the belief about oneself that means we can’t come to peace with what happened. Once we identify what’s looping around, we then take our focus off healing from the abortion and work with the theme within our psyche; in this life, through our soul’s journey, and from any generational imprints.Communing With The Spirit That Didn’t Come ThroughEvery woman I have worked with to heal after abortion – the spirit is okay, they’re not harmed. Knowing that they’re okay often comes as a huge relief, and helps bring a sense of peace and completion to the experience.Recalibrating The BodyAt conception, our maternal instinct gets activated and there’s an alchemical process that prepares our body for gestation, birth and motherhood.So it’s really helpful to do some deep, slow bodywork to allow for the completion of that somatically.GrievingHaving space to grieve with no time limit is helpful, and if your grief feels like it’s dissipating gradually over time, then that’s the natural process of it. However, if the grief keeps looping around, then it becomes a trauma loop in itself, and that’s when we need to get underneath it and have a look at what the stuck themes are. Self-Compassion vs ‘Forgiveness’Forgiveness is banded around in the new age psychology world, and my experience of it is that forgiveness doesn’t truly exist. What I’ve discovered is that 100% of the time there is no judgment from source energy – NONE – because Source is love. Once we experience that for ourselves, the self-judgement dismantles, all the distorted beliefs about ourselves dissolve, and we can truly come to peace within. Energising The Womb CentreWe need to help our womb centre to re-energize because we’ve often pulled away from it due to the emotional, spiritual and physical stress we’ve been through. We need to have a good amount of energy in our womb to help our cycle clear out debris; physically or spiritually.3 Ceremonies To Heal After AbortionMiscarriage: 9 Guidelines To Heal Emotionally & SpirituallySend us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

To heal our womb means to dissolve all the ‘stuff’ we’ve been holding in there, restore its true purpose and reconnect the whole womb centre with the rest of our system.To do this we need to consider six aspects:the physical wombthe metaphysical wombgestation: time in our mothers’ wombthe split of unified energy into masculine and femininethe collective wombdetox and nutritionThis episode is an overview of these elements – and over the coming few months I’ll be releasing an episode going deeper into each aspect.THE PHYSICAL WOMB: THE MENSTRUAL CYCLEThe menstrual cycle is a whole cycle, and its purpose is to guide us to embody our full range of states of being each month. This range differs during different chapters in our lives. So to restore the true purpose of the cycle, we need to be able to tune into the natural undercurrent of this cycle every day. THE METAPHYSICAL WOMB: THE ENERGETIC WOMBThe blueprint upon which the physical womb forms. It contains all the information about how we feel about being a woman:generational imprintssubconscious beliefs from other lifetimes and our soul’s journeycultural & social programmingThese beliefs can have to do with what it is to be a woman, disliking the subjugated position we’ve held in society is a big one, deep down for women. It often shows up as not wanting to be a woman, and that needs unblending from not liking the position women have collectively been in.GESTATION: THE TIME IN OUR MOTHERS’ WOMBDuring our time in our mother’s womb, we are alive, we are conscious and our attachment template, brain and nervous system are all forming in response to mum and our environment. This process incorporates not only gestation but also:The place we were at before we incarnated ‘between lives’conceptionlanding in the wombgestationlandmark eventsbirthThis is powerful work and I will be releasing an episode solely on this topic.UNIFICATION OF OUR MASCULINE & FEMININE ASPECTSI have produced a full podcast on this, so I’ll just summarise it here. So basically, as women – when we restore our true masculine nature and unify it in the body with our feminine energy, it helps to restore and embody our internal authority, internal structure and ability to bring energy into matter.THE COLLECTIVE WOMB: RESTORING OUR CREATIVE SOVEREIGNTYOur metaphysical womb is connected to The Great Mother, to which all wombs are connected. Even if we don’t feel it, have turned away, or don’t believe it exists, the connection is there.Send us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

I explore 3 core issues that I see over and over again in my work, particularly with women. I describe how each particular aspect shows up, the root cause, and what to do about it.Perpetually Putting Others’ Needs Before Our OwnTHIS LOOKS LIKEA hypersensitivity to what others are feeling and what they possibly need. After very quickly and automatically scanning the other person, we quickly attempt to regulate, fix, and advise them (without them asking) into a state where we have some sense of safety or security.When we have this pattern of relating in our nervous system, people often describe themselves as empaths or highly sensitive. However, the reality is that we’re hypervigilant.I should add that our current societal structure rewards women for doing this! Over-Functioning In Relationshipsbelieving it’s our partner that needs to get helpTHIS LOOKS LIKEBecoming fixated on our partner needing to change so that the relationship can work; where they can grow, what they need to do, believing that IF ONLY they would go to therapy, stop doing this or start doing that, then the relationship would be ok. If we’re genuinely doing our healing work, then we also need to look at why we are with someone who isn’t. That IS our attachment work. Parts of us that might be waiting or hoping for connection, rather than being able to assess if we’re still a good match. The perpetual trying to make things work is part of our attachment wounding and attempts to get a parent to love us.So if you’re persuading someone to be nice to you, to like or love you, then it’s time to look at that perpetual try. Once that is understood and mostly dissolved, we can think more clearly, assess the situation as it is, and make a clear decision from our adult selves.Staying in love-less relationships (particularly thinking it’s for the children’s sake), getting breadcrumbs of something that looks or feels like love, over-understanding a partner (you’re not his psychologist), we’re enabling the notion that he’s a little boy, and ignoring that we are also operating from a younger wounded place.Trying To Get Unmet Childhood Needs To Be Met By Parents – As An AdultTHIS LOOKS LIKEIt’s the perpetual hoping, waiting, trying, longing for the love we didn’t get, and trying to get that from the people who couldn’t give that when we were young.Yes, sometimes we humans do change, we do wake up. However, if your parents weren’t in a state of growth and development when we were children, the chances are high that they won’t be for the duration of their lifetime.Sometimes, parents do awaken and do the work needed to develop themselves and have better relationships. In these cases, it comes from the parents’ decision. It doesn’t come from their adult children persuading them. It’s their decision entirely to look within themselSend us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

Have you ever felt an insatiable hunger for love and validation?In this episode, I explore ‘The Hungry Mother,’ a medicine poem that speaks to the experience of, and healing from, narcissistic parenting.Put simply, narcissistic parenting is where the parenting is all about the parent; the two main features of which are where the parent wants to be seen as perfect, and they feel entitled to ‘get’ love and their childhood unmet needs met – from the child.This medicine poem is written in deep devotion to our wild and humbling human nature.The word ‘Mother’ is interchangeable with father, leader, school teacher, guru, partner, organisation, friend, foe or self. The hunger is within us all…until.It’s going to land differently for each of us at different stages of our journey. It might sting or bring tears. It might nudge denial or ignite rage. It might also validate years of confusion.This is a medicine poem about re-parenting ourselves, about healing, and about coming home to our true nature.The hungry mother,A child starved of love, Pregnant and hoping,Fresh blood will fill the void.Save me, sweet babe, For that’s why you’re here,Be grateful to me though, Otherwise you’re out on your ear.Grow my dear child,But not too much, For I will hold you as a trophy,Then be seen as good enough.Also be my bad, The things I hate about me, And I will be disgusted, With all that I see.Perform when I need you to,Be quiet when I say, Be good with no definition, Meet my unmet needs, every day.Don’t ever challenge me,For if you dare do, I will discombobulate, And blame – yes – YOU!The roles are reversed, But so what? you need me,Put up, shut up, And get crumbs in exchange.For I am your Mother,Without me you’ll die,So be what I need, And never, ever fly.How on earth do we stop, This cycle of pain?We stop needing others,To fill us up in vain.This impossible task, Of trying to get love, Leads us to remember, Our core essence IS love.There will be temporary pain,And yes, it will be hard,But what’s the alternative,Getting constantly charred?The antidote is to love, Without thirst and fear, ALL of ourselves, And walk away clear.Free from the clutches, Of a contract doomed to fail, I am now my own Mother, And live to tell this tale!I realised my own Soul,Was also seeking outside,That – which was deep within,Yet forgotten and denied.And now the freedom is breathtaking,This feeling of love,Of Being All That Is,I AM home, I AM love.Send us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

Welcome to another episode where Kim and I discuss the growing divine feminine movement and its pitfalls……as many women who are in this movement are struggling to turn ideas into reality, have a lack of internal authority and are using ‘the masculine’ as a dumping ground for traits that are not liked or deemed to be ‘feminine’.In the first half, we examine why and how our masculine part is often projected outwards, and in the second, we challenge the idea of labelling certain characteristics as masculine or feminine, emphasising the need to own our shadows (that which we think we are not) to reclaim our authentic masculine energy – which naturally restores our feminine energy.We also define and question the patriarchy, our role in its creation and sustanance, and explore what’s needed to dissolve the trauma preventing us from fully embracing and unifying both energies within.Send us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

Ready to debunk some myths about your menstrual cycle? I talk about 6 of the most common myths in the realm of ‘womb work’ that are limiting our experience of what the menstrual cycle truly is, and get clear on what the antidotes are.PMS is not a foregone conclusion! Rather, it's an access point to our subconscious, a time to listen to and align with our truth. Our pre-menstrual time can be SO powerful, and is natures way of helping us to see what’s really going on. As we start to understand and clear the what caused the underlying rage, anger, frustration - and are able to into alignment with ourselves, PMS symptoms disappear. Chasing the ‘perfect cycle’ is a fallacy. Our menstrual cycle is a barometer of our our spiritual, physical and emotional health. In the absence of a genuine connection with the ever changing undercurrent of our menstrual cycle, we can take on ideals that our outside of us and try to conform to them, resulting in trying to ‘fit’ our cycle with expectations, that inevitably don’t match. The way forwards is to clear the trauma that is blocking a genuine connection. Tired of battling your inner critic? This is a wounded part of us that we don’t have to manage, put up with or work around. It’s a part of us the NEEDS our attention, connection and love. Criticism comes from fear and this needs processing and integrating so that we can see clearly. It’s totally possible to do this!Bleeding On The New Or Full Moon Means Something SpecificNope! Only we know how the interaction between our unique menstrual cycle and the moon cycle is both supporting and challenging us. Again, when we don’t have a genuine connection, we can take on external beliefs and structures that keep us stuck in a certain way of  being. The antidote, as always is to do the work to get a genuine connection.Blaming The Moon or Astrology On Our State Of BeingNot necessarily directly related to our menstrual cycle, but very popular in the work of cycle attunement and women’s work….Attributing our state of being solely to the moon phases or astrological climate blinds us to what is really going on within. The antidote again, is to look within, understand what’s going on and then look at how the moon phase or astrological climate is amplifying that.The false premise that hormones are the only drivers of our health. I discuss how factors like trauma, synthetic hormones, the pill and toxins affect our hormones, and that we need a wholistic approach to heal and take care of our menstrual cycle. The antidote to all of this is to look within, attune to our unique cycle and listen to the information it’s giving us.Send us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

Many women I come across talk of keeping themselves small. It's one of the core wounds that women in particular struggle with.In this episode, Kim Barnard and I explore the 4 aspects that form the 'root system' that keep us living with tethers on our life force, and how to heal. There are several expressions of keeping ourselves small, which are (but aren't limited to):Feeling not good enough, or unworthyBelieving that somehow we don't deserve love / money / successImposter syndrome (fearful that people will find out who we really are underneath)Feeling afraid to embody our life force and what will happenScared to share an opinionAfraid to do what the work we want to in the worldThe 4 areas of the root system and how to heal it are:Cultural influencesPast life roots:  exploring the 'trauma triangle' - victim, perpetrator and failed rescuer states of being within within our consciousness.Roots in this life that are part of our attachment template.Generational roots that amplify what's already running in our consciousness.The main take away from this episode, is that it IS possible to heal this, for the tethers to come off our energy, and to embody our life force again. We would love to hear how this lands with you, head on over to Instagram to share your experience.Send us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.

A short and sweet episode to share with you a Womb Medicine Poem to restore the beauty and wonder of the womb centre. It starts with a brief introduction, and then there's a guided practice to listen to the poem with your womb.I invite you to attune to the feel of the words, the energy, and the response from your womb.It’s a chance to dip your toe into the potency of your womb, to tap into the void from which all of life is born, and to resonate with the frequency of creation.I'd love to hear your reflections and experiences— it's your time to shine!See The Moon shineRegardless of phaseThis is your time beautyTo shine in all ways.No more push on regardlessNo more have to’s or should’sThis is your time beautyTo be as wild as wild woods.From the depths of your soulGo with your flowThis is your time beautyLet go, let go, let flow.Your womb is the voidFrom which you createThis is your time beautyTo connect and activate.Be lovingly ruthlessAs you intuit your wayThis is your time beautyDon’t waste another day.So shine beauty, shineThis is your timeThis is your timeThis is our time.By MELANIE SWANSend us a text Support the showMelanie Swan is regarded as a leader in healing the physical womb, restoring the metaphysical womb, and connecting with the cosmic womb. She’s a Womb Medicine Woman and Soul Worker with 20 year’s experience – who guides and empowers women to come home to their true nature. She hosts The Sacred Womb Podcast and runs The Womb Healing Training, and is currently writing her first book The Sacred Womb, which is, at its core, a handbook for the empowerment of womankind; due for release in late 2025.